It's all in the stars. (standard:humor, 3300 words)
Author: red1hols	Added: Aug 22 2002	Views/Reads: 3584/2269	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
An Editor of a small weekly newspaper discovers that he has the gift of predicting the future of a particular reader.

It's all in the stars. 

“Have you ever heard such rubbish!” Terry Blyth, the Editor of the
Bakertown Gazette waved a letter towards Kim, his secretary, bookkeeper 
and advertising sales person. 

“What is?” Kim remained crouched over the open drawer of an ancient
filing cabinet. 

“This” Terry waved the letter again and continued “One of our valued
readers is asking that I cease publishing the astrology column because 
everything in it actually happens to her!” 

Kim looked up at the frantically waved letter. “Perhaps you have the
gift. What sign?” 

“Eh? Oh, what star sign. She says she is a Virgo. Listen to this ‘I have
recently moved to the town and have started to read your paper. It was 
with some shock that I realised that your Astrologer is able to predict 
with astounding accuracy the twists and turns my life will take. Every 
event that Madame Gerome has predicted has happened to me. Please, I 
beg you to stop her, it is turning my life into a nightmare.'” 

“What's this?” Derek, the senior of the two reporters and occasional
photographer had appeared at the door. 

“Some nutcase” Terry waved the letter again to emphasise his frustration
“Believes the tosh that I write as Madame Gerome is happening to her.” 

“Simple solution then” Derek walked slowly across the office and dumped
some paperwork on the huge desk “Write something this week that just 
couldn't happen!” 

VIRGO : August 23rd – September 22nd. Make sure that you enter the
lottery this week for numbers that are meaningful in your life will be 
lucky. Ensure that your property is secure as the stars show that stray 
domestic animals are likely to cause havoc in your home. At work a 
forgotten letter will cause sudden joy amongst your colleagues. 

The following Thursday, Terry Blyth received another letter. He called
Kim and Derek into his office. 

“I'm being wound up, aren't I?” Terry's voice had that warning note. 

Kim and Derek looked blankly at him, so he waved another letter, on the
same blue notepaper at them. 

“It's from that women again. Listen to this, You won't believe it.”
Terry read from the letter “Although I am grateful for the £1 345 
Lottery win, which could have been more had I chosen my parents wedding 
date rather than my fathers birthday incidentally, I really would beg 
of you to stop Madame Gerome. The lottery win has been more than spent 
repairing the damage caused by the three pigs that wandered into my 
kitchen and I am a laughing stock amongst my colleagues over a letter I 
inadvertently placed in a file instead of sending to my boyfriend.” 

Kim and Derek tried to choke back giggles. Terry looked at them both
suspiciously. 

“Tell you what Boss.” Derek could hardly speak trying to suppress his
amusement “ I guess you didn't make the predictions outrageous enough.” 


Kim dissolved into guffaws. The pair made a hasty escape from the
red-faced editor. 

VIRGO : August 23rd – September 22nd. A famous person who was once the
subject of your ultimate fantasies will arrive at your door and request 
to use the telephone after their car breaks down. You will provoke 
admiration amongst your colleagues with a photograph and will be much 
in demand because of something that you are able to provide. 

On returning to his office the following Tuesday afternoon, Terry found
a blue envelope with familiar neat handwriting propped up in his 
computer keyboard. Looking up he saw Kim and Derek hovering at the door 


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