Waves (standard:romance, 1031 words)
Author: The Bardess	Added: Aug 18 2002	Views/Reads: 3555/1	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
A young wife, Carrie, mourns the loss of her innocence when she crosses a line she never dreamed she could cross.

Grant rolled over and reached for her, expecting to run his fingers
through her long locks of hair.  His hand fell on her empty pillow and 
then moved down the bed searching for her warm body.  "Carrie." He 
whispered her name, hoping she would snuggle beside him again.  
Discovering she had snuck out of bed, he groaned a little and tried to 
clear his mind of the peaceful sleep that had enveloped him just a few 
hours ago.   He slipped out of bed and into his green sweats, scanning 
the hotel room for her shadow.  It was then that he noticed the cold 
wind penetrating the darkness.  The sliding glass door that led to the 
balcony was wide open, the curtain pushed aside.  He walked toward it, 
mumbling her name beneath his breath.  He hated to be cold. 

Grant found her standing near the railing of the small balcony, her
white nightgown whipping in the wind.  Animated by the ocean breeze, 
Carrie's hair seemed to dance and fly from her bare shoulders.  The 
sound of the waves crashing against the rocks below the hotel prevented 
him from listening to her.  He could read Carrie like a book.  He knew 
when she sang she was either extremely happy or extremely sad. When she 
moaned she was aroused, either sexually or intellectually.  And when 
she sighed - those sighs that sounded like they started in the tips of 
her toes, growing into tidal waves before pouring out from her lips - 
he knew she was thinking things she wanted to escape.  He couldn't hear 
her now; couldn't rely on her tell-tale sounds to reveal what was 
bothering her.  So he stood at the edge of the doorway and watched her 
form outlined by the falling moon that peaked from behind a mountain of 
clouds.  He watched a strap fall from her shoulders, a shiver run 
through her barely covered body, and a shoulder-slumping sigh accompany 
her arms wrapping around her small frame. 

Carrie sighed and wrapped her arms around her, trying desperately to
block out the thoughts running marathons in her mind.  She longed to 
just stand there and feel the wind run over her body, stroking her 
exposed skin.  There must be a button somewhere I can push that will 
turn my mind off.  Just let me feel, just let me feel.  The wave of 
sadness that drew her from Grant's side was not ebbing in the early 
morning breeze as she had hoped.  Scenes from the previous night's love 
making insisted on flashing through her mind - his fingers wrapped in 
her hair, his lips on the nape of her neck, his long legs tangled with 
hers.   She opened her eyes and stared into beautiful scene before her. 
 She concentrated on the flashes of lightening colored spray erupting 
from the boulders where the waves crashed against them.  The spray was 
a striking contrast to the steel blue color of the sky - the same steel 
blue color of her husband's eyes when he was hurt.  How many times have 
I looked into David's pain filled eyes and tried to ease his suffering? 
 How can I look into them now, knowing that I could cause him the 
greatest pain he will ever know?  He must never know what I've done. 

The thought echoed in her mind and gave birth to a torrent of new doubts
and fears.  I have to lie to him now.  I have to pretend, to hide my 
true feelings - do I know how to do that?  How do I explain the days 
when I'm walking on air and the days when I am sinking in quick sand? 
Who is this woman who can do that?  Somehow I have to appear to be the 
same woman David married and at the same time discover who I have 
become.  She shuddered, not sure if it was from the cold air raking her 
goosebumps or the unrelenting images that haunted her mind. 

Grant stepped forward when he saw her shudder.  He caught her flowing
hair and laid it gently on her shoulder as he pulled her back against 
him.   He wrapped his arms around her, squeezed her, willing her to 
relax in his arms.  It took a few moments before he could feel the 
tension begin to ebb from her body.   He rubbed warmth into her arms as 
he bent forward to lay a soft kiss on her cheek.  He knew the salt he 
tasted was not from the ocean spray.  He whispered, "Come inside." 

He held her as they walked back into the room and stood in front of the
fire place.  He had chosen this hotel for their weekend getaway because 
he knew Carrie would love the mixture of the ocean's bone-chilling air 
and the burning heat of the fire place.  In many ways it reflected 
Carrie herself.  At one moment she was child-like, playfully pinching 
his leg beneath the dinner table.  And in the next moment she was a 
mature, serious woman spiritedly discussing political issues.  She ran 
hot and cold and he was lucky enough to experience both sides of her. 

But now he knew she needed balance between her two extremes.  He eased
her onto the carpet, resting her head on his lap.  He spread her hair 
over his legs and played with a few strands while he waited for her to 
tell him what her body already had.  He knew by the way she curled up 
in a ball and held back the sighs that she was beginning to obsess 
about something.  He decided he needed to get her to talk about it - to 
help her straighten things in her mind before they became too tangled.  
"What is it Carrie?" he whispered as he caressed her cheek.  The 
moisture on the back of his hand chilled him. 

"I was saying good-bye to some old friends."  She stuttered as she tried
to speak and buried her face into his soft sweats.  Grant didn't have 
to ask - he knew what she was going through and was grateful that she 
was going through it for him.  He stroked her hair and whispered 
silently, "Thank you." 


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