Politicians and Native Americans (standard:humor, 681 words)
Author: J P St. Jullian	Added: Aug 11 2002	Views/Reads: 3628/3	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Some Politicians will do or say anything to get your vote, but now and again the tables are turned on them, at least poetically.

Politicians and Native Americans 

by J P St. Jullian 

Today I attended a local rally for one of the political candidates
courting the black community for votes here.  I think he was a 
Republican.  Twelve years ago when the black population of this county 
was a lot smaller, and I suppose considered negligible, no politicians 
courted our votes and they didn't serve us either.  Now things are 
different.  They court our votes now, but they still don't serve our 
wishes.  Anyway, it reminded me of a tale my stepfather told me when I 
was sixteen years old.  It goes like this: 

Once there was this fellow who lived in Oklahoma at the turn of the 19th
century and was running mighty hard for Congress.  In those days, my 
stepfather said, there were lots of Native American farmers in some 
parts of Oklahoma, so this would-be congressman got an old chief to 
round up as many of the Native Americans as he could to hear him give a 
speech.  As he faced the gathering he assumed a very somber look and 
started talking. 

“The government hasn't treated you all right in the past,” he started,
“but I aim to change all that as soon as I get to Washington.  After 
I'm elected, my Native American brothers won't be living in shanties 
and brush wigwams like they do now.  No, siree! Not in my district!  
I'm going to see to it that every one of you fellows gets a good house, 
and fine furniture, and a new cookstove, and an electric refrigerator 
if he wants it.” 

All the Native Americans present seemed really happy to hear this, and
they all clapped their hands and shouted “Oolah! Oolah!”  The old chief 
looked rather perplexed, but he didn't say a word.  The congressional 
hopeful gained confidence from this show of confidence, so he 
continued. 

“And furthermore,” he said, “my very first act as your congressman will
be to get every Native American voted a good farm, if he doesn't have 
one already.  And, I'm going to fix it so every one of you can have a 
nice late model car, instead of some old jalopy.  Yes, and we'll build 
roads fit to drive on, without mud holes in them.” 

All the Native Americans were in a fine good humor by this time,
laughing and chuckling amongst themselves, and they clapped their hands 
louder than ever.  They were all yelling , “Oolah! Oolah! Oolah!” so 
loud they could probably be heard a half mile away.  Now the 
congressional hopeful really felt that he had them hooked. 

“I'm going to bring better livestock into the district too,” says he,
“and I'll see that good bulls and stallions are available to every 
Native American stockman, so that our cattle and horses will be second 
to none in the United States.”  With that he sat down and watched with 
a smile as all those Native Americans happily laughed and slapped each 
other on the back, shouting “Oolah! Oolah!”  for five minutes or more.  
The congressional candidate got up and started shaking hands with 
everyone that came within reach.  He thought this was the most 
enthusiastic audience he'd ever spoken to and one of the best meetings 
of his whole campaign.  The old chief just sat there poker-faced and 
never said a word, but inwardly he was just as tickled as the rest. 

On the way back to town the candidate stopped at a big farm owned by a
friend of his.  He wanted to see a prize bull that his friend had been 
bragging to everybody in town about.  This bull was rumored to be worth 
$10,000.  “A magnificent animal!” said the candidate as he started to 
walk right into the pen where the bull was, but one of the Native 
American ranch hands touched his arm and said, “You'd better come 
around this other gate, Mister.  The boys have not cleaned up that side 
yet, and if you walk over there you'll surely get oolah on your nice 
shoes.”  Needless to say, it was a very sobering realization. 


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