Just a bit of Armless Fun! (standard:humor, 719 words)
Author: Jason Donegan	Added: Apr 24 2002	Views/Reads: 3729/1	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
A pre-wedding prank goes just a bit too far.

Armless Fun By Jason Donegan 23-4-02 

Standing at the hotel bar, the friends laughed that typical drunken
laughter you heard at marriages of old friends. The subject matter 
ranged from old embarrassing stories to new prospective pranks. As the 
single malt whiskies and the pints of ale were downed the volume was 
raised ever higher as they joked and struggled to speak between the 
howls and nudges as they shared their school days memories. 

The main prank they discussed was also the most recent and was solely
down to Nigel. Nigel, now being a trained nurse had pulled the ultimate 
stag night prank of all time. The previous day after six hours of solid 
drinking cocktails and beer they knew that the groom's memory would not 
be logging anything else that he was subjected to. When he awoke next 
morning with his arm firmly secured at 90 degrees at the elbow and 
positioned at shoulder height, he couldn't recall a thing of how it 
occurred or even what he'd done. His fear for his right limb was 
quickly overtaken by the fear for his health and his genitalia as he 
realised he was getting married in less than three hours. 

Clumsily running downstairs he was greeted by the cheers of his 6
closest friends who he'd hoped were in on the sick joke that was 
certainly having it's desired affect. A strained glance at Nigel, the 
only person who he thought could have achieved such a thing resulted in 
nothing but a blank look of question. Frantically Sam tried to remember 
what had happened to leave him in this state, but his memory had ceased 
to log anything a long time before this had occurred. 

His longing looks around his friends gave no impression that this was a
joke. The first time it sunk in that this was really happening was when 
his best man started to cut away the sleeve of his £1000 morning suit 
and shirt to enable it to fit over his cast. This was real he heard his 
conscience say to him. He was really going to get married with his arm 
positioned at 90 degree's to his body and in a plaster cast past his 
elbow. The image of his bride's face filled him with an intense cold 
fear and that was nothing compared to what his future mother in law 
would do. Suddenly his mobile phone let out the familiar tone of a text 
message being received, he knew who it'd be off and his heart sunk. 

Reading the text he quickly composed a message to reassure his future
wife that he was still in the country and not trapped naked in some 
police cell. He sent the message. Quickly he composed another message 
to advise her of his predicament.  He explained as well as he could 
what had happened, pretty impressive when you realise that he didn't 
actually have a clue but the tale did involve him being hit by a Taxi 
and spending 3 hours in A+E. He didn't know how it was gonna be 
received or even if she was gonna turn up at the church, but at least 
she had been warned. No reply came back from her. 

All the way through the wedding photo's the photographer strategically
placed family and guests so that they obscured his indiscretion, every 
glance that he threw at his friends were greeted with sniggers and 
every look to his new wife received the same cold hard scowl. 

All during that day and evening, he stood and sat uncomfortably with his
arm supported at shoulder height. His new wife never spoke to him, his 
new mother in law refused to associate with him. At nine o'clock his 
friends decided it was time to call off their joke. 

Leaving the bar they walked towards the reception hall still laughing at
the extended joke that would be remembered for years only to be greeted 
by the wedding party returning from the car park. 

'What's going on?' asked Nigel, the initiator of the prank as he grabbed
one of the bridesmaids. 'Oh you've missed them, Sam's parents have 
booked them a two week surprise honeymoon to Jamaica and they've just 
left for the airport.' Suddenly all 6 stared at each other and burst 
into fits of laughter. 


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