You Know You're a Grownup When ... (standard:humor, 737 words)
Author: Jim Spence	Added: Apr 15 2002	Views/Reads: 6350/2781	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
you finally realize that you're a grownup when ...

You Know You're a Grownup When ... 

you call your doctor by his first name 

you're more aware of interest rates than you are of the sports schedule 

you pick up the newspaper and turn to the obituaries before the comics 

you tell your pastor an off color joke 

a tire sale at Sears gives you goose bumps 

you look at an ad of a scantily clad young lady in front of a new
Porsche, and you wish you had the Porsche 

you start checking the Senior Citizens menus in restaurants just to see
what you'll pay “in a few years” 

a 30-something convenience store clerk calls you “sir” 

you notice there are more Preparation H commercials on television 

the crotch of your underwear is down to your knees because the elastic
is worn out, not because you're trying to make a fashion statement 

you know the difference between “sea foam green” and “aquamarine” 

you spend less time in the beer section at the grocery store and more
time in the medicine department 

the hair on your body starts moving to warmer climates 

a ¼ percent drop in the Prime Rate is more exciting than your team
winning the Super Bowl 

clean underwear is more important to you than clean tennis shoes 

your favorite shirt no longer has a sports team logo 

you start to look like your father 

the scariest thing you can think of is a 30 year mortgage 

a good Friday night involves pizza, a fire, and not leaving the house 

you turn on your television, and HGTV appears on the screen 

your phone rings on the weekend, and you hope it's not for you 

you start noticing the schedule of the Meals on Wheels people in your
neighborhood 

sleeping in on Saturday morning is a distant memory 

your television no longer has the Disney Channel or the Cartoon Network
programmed in the remote 

your friends brag about how much faster they made it to Myrtle Beach
this year than last year 

you look forward to a third cup of coffee more than you do a third beer 

getting dressed to go shovel snow takes 15 minutes 

you make sure you have a public bus schedule “just in case” 

misplacing your remote is worse than misplacing your wallet 

the lady behind the pharmacy counter calls you by name 

your favorite video game is computer golf 

you're envious when your neighbor builds a new deck 

the Weather Channel becomes background noise for the biggest part of the


Click here to read the rest of this story (67 more lines)