Swimming in an Ocean of Pills (standard:humor, 910 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Sep 07 2025	Views/Reads: 0/0	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Sometimes it takes effort to have a merry heart. But, believe me, it is well worth the effort not only for me but for those around me.

I have a confession to make. I never realized that the older I get, the
more difficult life seems to be. Oh, for those good ole days. 

As a young person, I thought that when I got older, all of my problems
would be solved. At the time, I did not know all the problems I was 
going to face in life. Maybe that's why my face looks like it does! 

The one thing I never really anticipated was the medical issue. I never
thought that I would be swimming in an ocean of pills as I got older. 
Every time I see my doctor, he has a new pill for me. 

There seems to be a pill for every problem in the world. If I could come
up with a pill for being crazy, I would be a very wealthy man in no 
time. But no matter how many pills I have been prescribed, not one of 
those pills has anything to do with my being crazy. I'm crazy, no 
matter how many pills I take. 

Every time I go to see my doctor, Dr. Pills-A-Lot, he has some new pill
for me. I've seen him so many times that if you look at the pills on 
the table, you would think I was a drug addict. 

It started a few years ago when I was hit with shingles. Fortunately, I
caught it in time, so it didn't get as bad as it could have. Then, a 
few years later, I had a heart attack, which required more pills. Then, 
this year I had several skin cancers removed. All of that stuff 
required pills. 

There is no way under God's beautiful heaven that I could ever manage
all of those pills. I have to take certain ones at breakfast, then at 
lunch, and then after supper. If I had to pick them, I would not know 
which one is which. To me, a pill looks the same. I know there are some 
with different colors. But at my stage, what does that really matter? 

I have one thing that gets me through all of this pill management. That
is, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. She manages all of my pills 
all of the time. If I had to manage my pills, I probably would forget 
to take any. 

But she manages my pill regimen quite successfully. Every week, she
prepares my pills for the week. Every day she has laid out all the 
pills I need to take and when I need to take them. 

Even when she has to go out of town with our daughters for five days,
she always sets up all the pills I need to take and when to take them. 

She also manages my doctor visits. I hate visiting my doctor. I know
when I visit my doctor and he examines me, he will find something that 
needs a pill. 

I have to be careful what I say in front of her. If I happen to mention
that I have a pain somewhere, she jumps into action and gets a pill for 
me. I'm not sure what that pill is for or what it is, but she insists I 
take it. 

There is one pill that she hasn't been able to discover, and that is the
pill for the Silly Boy Syndrome, of which I have most assuredly. 

If, for example, I happen not to take my pills for breakfast and she
discovers it, then she says, “What's wrong with you, you silly boy?” 

Once I snuck into the kitchen and quietly opened the freezer door where
there was some ice cream and began to pick one up and who should walk 
into the kitchen but The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. She looked 
at me and said, “You silly boy, you're not getting ice cream are you?” 

And I can name several other ones, but evidently, she is convinced that
I have the Silly Boy Syndrome. I once dared to ask her, “Oh, my dear, 
do you have a pill for that?” 

I don't have to tell you that she was not smiling as she looked at me
with both hands on her hips. I never said it out loud after that. But I 
thought it quite a few times. 

She knows as much about my pills as the doctors do. She knows all by
name and knows exactly what they're for. At least, that's what she 
tells me. 

I'm not sure what I would do without her supervision of my pills. I
certainly couldn't keep up with all the pills that the doctors 
prescribed for me. 

I thought I had for some time, what would happen if, for one week, I
didn't take my pills? The worst scenario would be that The Gracious 
Mistress of the Parsonage would find it out, and you know what would 
happen after that. 

Regularly taking my pills cures two things. The first, of course, is my
health. But the second, more important, is it makes my wife happy. And 
when she's happy, I'll take as many pills as is needed. 

I couldn't help but think of my favorite Bible verse. Proverbs 17:22, “A
merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the 
bones.” 

Sometimes it takes effort to have a merry heart. But, believe me, it is
well worth the effort not only for me but for those around me.


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