I Thought She Said, “Doughnut” (standard:humor, 909 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Nov 03 2024	Views/Reads: 59/13	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I believe it takes all of the Bible to make it the Word of God. I can’t cherry-pick what I want to believe. If I only hear part of the Bible, I will get it wrong and bear the consequences. All heresy is built on fragments of the Bible.

As hard as I try, and believe me I try, I don't always hear correctly,
especially regarding The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. I don't 
always hear every word she says. 

I know God gave me two ears and only one mouth, but I must confess I use
my mouth a lot more than I use my ears, which has created problems. 

I have worked on this problem for a very long time, and it just seems to
be getting worse. Maybe I should quit working. 

You would think that as long as I've been married, I would have somehow
adjusted to this hearing situation. 

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage once set me up and said, “Did you
hear what I just said?” 

“Oh, yes, my dear, I heard you clearly.” 

Then she said, “Well then, what do you think I should do?” 

At this point, I knew she was trying to set me up because she knew I
wasn't listening, but I had to respond. Believe me, I was nervous. 

“Oh, my dear, I think your idea is splendid. Go with it.” 

Then she got up, walked to the kitchen, and says, “Okay, then it's
broccoli for supper.” 

Now I'm in a pickle, and I'm not quite sure what to do. Why didn't I
hear the word “Broccoli”? I was very suspicious. 

The other day, she asked if I would go to the grocery store and pick up
a few items. She rarely asked me to go and get some groceries, so I 
wasn't quite sure what to do, but I said yes. What else could I say? 

I went to the store, checked off every item on the list, and went to the
checkout line when I remembered she told me something after giving me 
the list. I tried to think of what it was, and then it came to me. She 
mentioned something about doughnuts. I think she wants me to get her 
some doughnuts. That made me smile. 

I pushed the cart to where the doughnuts were and looked at all those
wonderfully delicious donuts. How can anyone pick just one? I spent an 
awful lot of time going through every donut, I couldn't find one I 
didn't like, and I didn't know what exactly to do. 

Finally, I picked one, went to the checkout counter, paid for the items,
and then got in my truck to go home. 

I was very happy as I drove home because I usually don't get things done
exactly the way she likes them. I drove into the driveway, parked my 
truck, and went inside with the bag of groceries. 

Walking through the door, I shouted, “Honey, I'm home.” I placed the bag
on the kitchen counter, and with a huge smile, and went to my easy 
chair, waiting to be congratulated by The Gracious Mistress of the 
Parsonage for a job well done. 

It wasn't long until she entered the kitchen, and I heard her say, “What
is this?” 

I had no idea what she was talking about, but as she walked over to me,
she was holding the box of donuts. “What is this?” 

Looking at her with a big smile, I said, “Oh, my dear, those are the
donuts you asked me to get. Remember?” 

She went back into the kitchen. I heard her going through the grocery
bag. Then she came back and handed me the grocery list she had given me 
and said, “Where do you see donuts on this list I asked you to get?” 

I was a little confused, so I said, “Don't you remember as I was leaving
you told me to get doughnuts?” 

“I said no such thing. What I said was, Do Not get anything that is not


Click here to read the rest of this story (34 more lines)