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George and Gina. An intelligent planet and his only human resident. (standard:science fiction, 8419 words) | |||
Author: Oscar A Rat | Added: Jul 02 2020 | Views/Reads: 1421/977 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
George was a happy and successful planet until that thrice damned roach opera. At its conclusion, customers stomped the performers and left George, without paying their rent, all that is except Gina. | |||
This story was a surprise for me, one I almost finished and stored away for years, thinking it was too silly to finish and post anywhere. Finally, I did finish and post it on a writing site. Later, I was shocked to actually sell it to a small publisher who read it on THIS site for real money. Not much, but every little bit helps. ---------- Gina packed a last suitcase and left a filthy apartment. Carrying her luggage across the hall, she went into a reasonably clean bedroom and unpacked it again. During the next half-hour or so, the woman went back and forth across the corridor, moving boxes of possessions from one living space to the other. For the heavier items, she used an anti-gravity hand-truck. It was a familiar procedure, one that she had performed almost monthly for hundreds of years. The time in each apartment or house depended on how fast they dirtied and how quickly her planet, named George, happened to be traveling at the time. Currently, he rested by spinning around a certain sun near Beta 2B8174. Time in days and years had little meaning when your home planet often moved from one sun to another. George was an intelligent planet and Gina his only current human occupant. When George tired of one location he would pack up, figuratively, and move. Gina followed the same rules. After all, she didn't want to cross her landlord. Where would she go if George kicked her off? When her apartment became too dirty, why clean? Just move. Ever since that Roach Opera, she had a world full of clean, or relatively clean, homes to choose from. Gina remembered that fateful day clearly. It was when George, strapped for cash, unwisely hosted a performance of the Cockroach Operatic Company. A Roach Opera is a rare event since it takes billions of years for an infestation of cockroaches on a planet to reach mental and social maturity. Roaches aren't very intelligent by nature and slow in developing to their musical stage. Then, more ages pass before they get to the point of giving a good performance. When it does happen, nearby planets empty, residents rushing to the arena to enjoy a performance somewhat unique in the universe. Afterward, when the audience realizes what they've done, their natural aversion to roaches invariably sets them to stomping the singers and musicians, eliminating any chances of encores. George's entire population, except for Gina -- who happened to have received volume eight of the "Complete All Time Entire Never Before Offered Collection Of I Love Lucy Television Performances" -- hurried to watch the universe's most unique performance. After the cheering and subsequent stomping the audience, including his tenants, jumped onto space buses and other craft, leaving George and Gina alone. Most humans were embarrassed to be seen on a planet infested with so many cockroaches. And that was without either giving George the required thirty-days advance notice, or even catching up on their rents. He did end up with a huge amount of advance box office receipts. That reaction angered George enough for him to eject the remaining roach population into a nearby sun, ridding himself of the pests. For some reason unknown to either George or Gina, not that Gina really cared, George's human population had never returned, probably too embarrassed to face public exposure. When Gina finished with her favorite Lucille Ball series, she found herself alone with an entire planet to herself. On his part, George, needing even half-way intelligent companionship, allowed her free rein, and rent. “George, the sink is plugged. Can you fix it?” Gina called out to her planetary landlord. After a few seconds, she heard a gurgling and the previous occupant's dishwater drained, leaving a greasy deposit. One good thing about having a planet to yourself, she figured, was the quick service. Click here to read the rest of this story (1008 more lines)
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