I Wasn’t Born Old It Just Happened That Way (standard:humor, 909 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Sep 21 2019	Views/Reads: 1386/1056	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Getting old is not for sissies. It takes a real man to get old.

Everywhere I look these days people are obsessed with age. More products
are sold today to make you look younger than anything else. Everybody 
desires to look younger than what they actually are. I think that is 
rather hypocritical. 

Just saying. 

It seems to me that nobody is happy with the way they are. When you are
young, you want to be old and then when you get old you want to be 
young. Nobody is happy being what they are at the time. 

The problem with me is that not all my clocks are ticking at the same
time. Things seem to just creep up on me without me being aware of any 
of it. For one, I did not know I was old. 

It dawned on me this past week when I was sitting in my chair in the
middle of the afternoon. I had no inspiration to get out of the chair 
and go do something. I was just feeling a little tired. You know, 
sometimes it is important just to chill out for a little bit. 

Not everybody thinks this. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage has a
different view of all this. 

As I said, I was just chilling in my chair when my wife walked by,
stopped in front of me, put both hands on her hips and stared at me for 
a moment giving me that look. Then she said, “I guess you're getting 
old, aren't you?” 

With that, she whirled around and walked away, leaving me to my own
thoughts. Nothing is scarier in the whole world than to be left with 
your own thoughts. However, as I thought about this, certain things 
seemed to come to the surface. 

I did appear to be “old,” whatever that may entail. It is funny how
people use words and they mean different things to different people at 
different times. 

I never thought of myself as “old,” but then, my wife would never lie to
me. If she thinks I am getting old, well, I must be getting old. 

Then I chuckled to myself. I like to keep my chuckles to myself for a
variety of reasons. As I thought about me being old and my wife 
recognizing that I am old, it dawned on me that she is older than me. 
Now please, do not let her know I let this slip out of the bag. But, if 
I'm old, what does that make her? 

You did not hear it from me, but I had a nice chuckle as I thought about
this whole scenario of being old. Being the gentleman that I am, and a 
great lover of life, I will never bring this to her attention. If she 
finds out that she is old, she will never learn this information from 
me. I may be old, but my goal is to get older. 

Right after this little incident, I walked into a McDonald's restaurant
to get some coffee. I prefer to keep certain things to myself and my 
age is one of them. I cannot hide my good looks; it is all out there in 
the open for everybody to see. But my age is something a little 
different. I try to keep that to myself. 

“Are you a senior citizen?” The waitress behind the counter asked
chipperly. 

At first, this really irritated me. What business is it of her with
regards to my age? I was just about ready to ask her what her age was 
when she changed the whole conversation. 

“If you are a senior citizen your coffee is only $.80.” With that she
smiled quite gingerly. 

That puts age in a very different perspective for me. Normally, coffee
is $1.39, but for senior citizens, it is only $.80. A lot of things I 
am not very proficient at, but arithmetic is not one of them. If I 
would admit to this young lady that I was a senior citizen, I could 
save $.59. I do not know about anybody else, but $.59 is $.59! 

“Why, yes,” I muttered, “I am a senior citizen.” 


Click here to read the rest of this story (29 more lines)