One Man’s Joke Is Another Man’s Discount (standard:humor, 905 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Jun 16 2019	Views/Reads: 1923/1243	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I have a responsibility to help stir up and give people a merry heart.

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I were dining out at a very
nice restaurant. We had been on the road for two days and were weary of 
travel. At least, I was. 

Nothing I hate more on a vacation than travel. But this time it was not
so bad because my wife was doing all the driving. She's an excellent 
driver because she had the world's best teacher. I admit that I was her 
teacher. 

We were seated and began looking at the menu. Then my wife said, “You
don't take very many things seriously, do you?” 

We both laughed, but I knew she was right. Life is too short to be
serious about everything. I do not want to come to the last of my days 
and find I have 100 giggles left over. I want to giggle all the way to 
the end. 

The waitress came, graciously took our order and then brought back the
bread for us to begin our lunch. 

I picked up the knife to cut some of the bread and I dropped it on my
right forefinger. There was a little cut there and so I squeezed it to 
get as much blood out as I possibly could. 

My wife looked at me shaking her head and said, “What in the world are
you doing?” 

At the time I had no idea what I was doing, I was just doing. 

Then I saw the waitress heading for our table. Every once in a while I
have a thought rattling around in my head. And so when she got to the 
table I said, “I cut myself and it hurts so much.” 

She shook her head and said, “Your finger's okay, I saw you using it as
I was coming to your table.” 

“But look at the blood,” I complained, “can I get a discount?” 

Still shaking her head, she walked away from the table. 

I think my wife thought I was just going to let it go, but when you have
a good thing going, why not keep it going. I was going to play this to 
the very end. My philosophy is when a bad thing happens, try to find 
something good out of it. 

I got my handkerchief out of my back pocket, made a little sling for my
finger and attached it to my shirt. There I was with my finger in that 
little sling as though I had hurt it very badly. 

As the waitress came to our table again she stopped, looked at my finger
in the sling and burst out laughing. I said in such a dreary voice, 
“Does this qualify for a discount?” 

I sat there with my bleeding finger in the little sling and the
customers around me were laughing as they watched. Their laughter was 
worth what I was doing. 

Was there any pain in my finger? Not at all. But I did have a drop of
blood. That alone should count for something. 

My wife looked at me, shook her head and said, “I can't take you
anywhere.” 

I would not give up on my pursuit of a discount. After all, life is full
of discounts if only you can find them. Believe me, I look for them. 

“Don't you know people are watching you?” My wife said as quietly as
possible. 

I snickered a smile in her direction and continued my “woe is me”
attitude. 

She knew I was not taking this seriously and she knew that I was going
to milk this for everything I could get. 



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