“Now, Do You Feel like a Big Boy?” (standard:humor, 893 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Feb 03 2019	Views/Reads: 1477/1085	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Sometimes what we think has no place in reality. Sometimes who we think we are is not related to reality either. It is what God thinks about me that is really important. Nothing I can do could ever impress him more than simply obeying him.

Vacations mean different things to different people. For me, the
vacation means I am vacating one place and going to another place to do 
nothing. 

Recently, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and me vacated the
parsonage to go to some place where we could major on doing nothing. We 
have mastered this over the years. 

My definition of “nothing” is quite different from my wife's definition.


My definition is simply that I spend the day doing nothing. 

My wife's definition is simply that she will spend the day doing nothing
but thrift store shopping. 

At this point, I am not quite sure who has mastered their “nothing.” We
might be equal at this point. As long as each of our “nothing” activity 
does not collide with each other. 

One of the aspects of getting to that “nothing” point is travel. The
older I get, the less fond I am of traveling especially long distances. 
But if we are going to get to our destination, travel is part of the 
activity. 

A long time ago, I made the decision, that on our vacations would use my
wife's van. Henceforth, she does all the driving. 

How I got to this point was simply that if she is going to go thrift
shopping she will need space to put the stuff that she buys. Hence, she 
needs to take her van, and consequently, she needs to do all the 
driving. 

I have long ago come to my point of manhood that I do not have to do all
the driving. My father was quite different. He felt that because he was 
the man in the house, he should do all the driving. I am not my 
father's son. At least, in that respect. 

If my wife is going to go thrift store shopping, she will need her van
and so this problem has been worked out quite nicely, if you ask me. 

On our travel I can either do some reading or log sawing, at which I am
pretty good. 

She's a very good driver; after all, I trained her. I remember the time
training her to drive a car, I would not say anything now, but there 
were some very anxious moments. So, there is nothing she could do now 
that would in any way cause me to be anxious. 

This past vacation time I did see something that startled me to no end.
We were driving down the main street in St. Augustine when we passed an 
old man riding his bicycle. That in itself is not an unusual sight, 
after all a lot of people ride bicycles. As we passed him, I noticed 
his trousers were down to his knees and I saw something that I am not 
supposed to see under any circumstance. My eyes burned for the next two 
days. 

Then, the next day as we were driving and I saw this large Cadillac
coming in our direction and there was nobody in the driver's seat. 
Believe me, I was a little excited about that for sure. When we passed 
this car, I looked over and behind the steering wheel, barely able to 
see through the steering wheel, was a little old lady sitting. 

Where do people get their driver's license? Who gives them their
driver's license? 

The next day we were driving home and I had just about fallen asleep.
The Sandman had just started his activity and I was fast approaching 
dreamland. Then I heard a noise...“Bah room boom boom boom boom boom. 
Bah room boom boom boom boom boom.” 

I jumped out of my sleep and looked over at my wife and she was looking
at me. At first, I thought we were entering the apocalypse and was 
tempted to get down and start praying. 



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