Please, Just Let Me Grow Old! (standard:humor, 917 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Feb 04 2018	Views/Reads: 1770/1221	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
After a day of watching stupid TV programs and commercials, I have only one comment. Please, just let me get old!

One of the New Year's resolutions I made, which the Gracious Mistress of
the Parsonage reminded me, is to take a day off and just relax. 

That is a rather hard thing for me to do, especially every week. 

The first week in January, I was busy about my business and my wife
said, “Which day this week are you going to take off and relax?” 

“What do you mean?” I asked. 

“Remember your New Year's resolution,” she reminded me, “that you are
going to take one day a week off to relax?” 

I did remember that, but I did not think anybody was listening. Then I
thought if anybody was listening, they really did not think I was 
serious about it. I have learned after many years of being a husband 
never to cross swords with “the Wife.” 

Looking at her rather casually, I said, “I'm going to do that tomorrow.”


“Today,” she said, “is the tomorrow you talked about yesterday.” 

I slowly remove my necktie and said, “Can I do this rather slowly until
I get used to it?” 

Of course, there was no negotiating with her about this. If I was
serious about my New Year's resolutions, which I probably was not, I 
was going to have to start it today. With her, there was no tomorrow 
about it. 

I sat down in my easy chair, picked up my laptop computer and was
getting it running when my wife came into the room and said, “Nope, 
that is not part of taking your day off. Put that computer away.” 

With a deep sigh, I shut down my computer and put it back. Then I picked
up a book and began reading, thinking this is okay. 

“Nope, that is not part of taking your day off. Put that book away.” 

You know what it is like not having access to your computer and not able
to read a book? If this is relaxing, oh please, let me get back to 
work. Her insistence was that I take the day off and as much as 
possible do nothing. 

I queried her, “What can I do on my day off?” 

She pointed to the TV and said, “You can watch a little bit of TV, and
then take a nap.” 

It has been a long time since I watched any daytime TV. I spent the
first half hour trying to find something interesting to watch and found 
absolutely nothing. There were game shows, soap operas and something 
they call reality shows. In five minutes of watching one reality show, 
I realized there was no “reality” about any of it. If that is reality, 
oh please, help me! 

Eventually my wife came in to check on me to make sure I was “taking the
day off.” 

I then said to her, “Would reading my Bible be a part of my day off?” 

How could anybody refuse me from reading my Bible? She responded in the
negative. Imagine that! According to her, if I would read my Bible I 
would begin also to work on a sermon for Sunday. And, “That would be 
considered work,” she explained. 

Therefore, here I am taking the day off, which is turning out to be one
of the most stressful days of my life. 

After a while, I was watching something on TV, have no idea what in the
world it was, but noticed the commercials. Now my problem was that I 
could not tell the difference between a commercial and a TV show. They 
seem to run together and there was hardly any difference between the 
two. 


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