Trying to keep my sanity in a politically correct world (standard:humor, 900 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Jul 08 2013	Views/Reads: 2541/1778	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
All through my life, I have been awkward when talking to someone of the opposite gender. I had thought by the time I got to this stage of life, post-young, I would have left a lot of this behind. Just when I think I have a good handle on this situation, s

All through my life, I have been awkward when talking to someone of the
opposite gender. I had thought by the time I got to this stage of life, 
post-young, I would have left a lot of this behind. Just when I think I 
have a good handle on this situation, something happens setting me back 
at least two generations. 

I was doing fine until I heard a news report giving information that the
word “freshman” was no longer a politically correct word to use when 
speaking of college students. They are now referred to as “First-Year 
Students.” According to this report, the word freshman is offensive to 
women. 

How and why it is offensive, they never did say but being in a
politically correct world this word may no longer be used. This is 
where my confusion comes in. Where are these individuals offended by 
the word “freshman?” I wish they would come and explain to me how this 
word offends them. This word has been used for generation after 
generation and this is the first time it is hurting certain 
individuals. 

I brought this to the attention of the Gracious Mistress of the
Parsonage to see if maybe she could shed a little bit of light on the 
situation. Unfortunately, she was as much in the dark about this as I 
was. 

I try to keep up with the latest trends and I must say that I am around
18 years behind my schedule. 

So, I am trying to retain a wee bit of sanity in this politically
correct world around me. Frankly, I do not know why anybody wants to be 
politically correct. Being the sensitive kind of person that I am, I am 
going to give it the old college try. 

I sat down with my wife and we began to figure out how that I, a very
sensitive and politically correct person, could address somebody of the 
opposite gender. 

“I guess I can still call them women,” I said with a degree of certainty
in my voice. 

My wife looked at me and slowly shook her head. “I'm afraid that the
word ‘women,' is offensive to some of these politically correct 
individuals because the word ends in ‘men,' which is a masculine 
gender.” 

I looked at her and scratched my head vigorously. 

“It also applies,” she continued, “with the word ‘woman' because it also
ends with the masculine ‘man.'” 

I never really gave this much thought before. It never occurred to me
that the last three letters of a word could be offensive to someone to 
the point that they are offended by that word. 

“So,” I said rather thoughtfully rubbing my chin, “I will have to begin
calling those individuals females.” I smiled and thought I had come up 
with a solution. I looked at my wife to get her approval. 

Shaking her head, she said, “That word is not acceptable anymore,
either. If you look at the word, you will find that it ends in the word 
‘male,' and as you know that is masculine.” 

I am really getting bogged down with all of this political correctness
nonsense. How people can be so sensitive to be upset by a word. My 
father used to say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones (but words 
will never hurt me).” 

“Well,” I said in a little bit of desperation, “I guess I'll just have
to call them lady.” 

“Not so fast,” she said looking at me. “How do you spell lady? The first
three letters spell the word ‘lad,' and everybody knows a lad is a 
boy.” 

It has been a long time since I have been this frustrated. For the life


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