Beware, O, ye blasted hacker, whomsoever thou art (standard:Inspirational stories, 908 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Feb 03 2013	Views/Reads: 3156/1958	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Under normal circumstances, I am a rather cool, calm and collected person. I say normal because not everything in my life is normal. It takes a lot to rattle this cage of mine but once rattled lookout whoever rattles it.

Under normal circumstances, I am a rather cool, calm and collected
person. I say normal because not everything in my life is normal. It 
takes a lot to rattle this cage of mine but once rattled lookout 
whoever rattles it. 

I am saying all this to get to my point, which is, somebody hacked my
computer email account this past week. If you think I will take this 
sitting down, oh, I guess I am sitting down right now, but I assure you 
I will not stand for something like this. I have never been so rattled 
in my life. 

If a mistake is mine, I will own up to it. If it is not mine, lookout
sender. 

The first thing I did was to call my cousin who is an attorney, Charles
Sues-A-Lot, and laid the case out before him. My first question to my 
cousin attorney was very basic; “Is it still against the law to murder 
someone?” 

As all good attorneys do, he hesitated and thought about it. 

He then went on to explain that if he could prove insanity there was a
good chance he could get somebody off very lightly. 

“Insanity,” I asked, “is that hard to prove in a court of law?” 

At this point, there was no hesitation whatsoever. My good lawyer cousin
said, “Not in your case.” 

If insanity runs in our family, I am convinced it trotted over into his
pasture a long time ago and has been milling around for years. 

At this point, murder is out. 

If I actually knew who this person was, I could “defriend” them like
they do on Facebook. You can be sure I would defriend him with all of 
the sarcastic bitterness I could muster on that hot dog. 

I noticed this last week when I accessed my email a bunch of different
pop-ups popped up on my screen. Instinctively I tried to unpop them 
without any success whatsoever. Every time there was a “pop-up,” I had 
the instinctive desire to pop someone in the nose. 

At one stage, it got out of control and about 17,000 pop-ups jumped onto
my computer screen at the same time. Without thinking, I immediately 
turned off my computer. 

If anybody knows what I did, you realize what I did was a terrible thing
to do. I encrypted, or whatever the term is, these pop-ups permanently 
on my computer. When I opened up my computer, it was pop-up time for 
the hacker. 

Things can be done to “unhack” your computer, which I put in full force.
I really wanted to hack into this hacker's life except he probably does 
not have one. I mean, after all, where are the jollies of hacking into 
someone's email account? I can see someone hacking into my bank 
account. I would love to see someone hack into my bank account and see 
how much money I don't have. 

If I was a small government, I could see somebody trying to hack into my
email accounts. As it stands, where is the payoff in doing something 
like this? This ghost hacker cannot see me and my frustration after 
being hacked. So, what is the good of it all? 

These pop-ups on my computer were coming fast and furious. 

Then it hit me. This is not some ghost hacker hacking into my email
account, it must be the government. The government must be behind it. I 
remember something called “fast and furious” in the news a while back. 
Was this what they were talking about? Am I now a casualty of Big 
Brother-itis? 

There were many similarities between what I was going through and our
government. 



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