How Can I Get My Sneeze Back? (standard:humor, 910 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Sep 30 2024	Views/Reads: 69/30	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I've had a lot of health issues during this past year, and now that I seem to be over them, something else has taken their place.

I've had a lot of health issues during this past year, and now that I
seem to be over them, something else has taken their place. 

I have had a sneezing fit for the past two weeks that I've never
experienced before. Every time I sneeze, it is in triplets. I don't 
know why I have to sneeze three times, and I have tried to keep myself 
from sneezing three times, but so far, I lost that battle. 

Once, when I started to sneeze, I closed my mouth, which was a mistake
because everything came out of my nose. That was not a very pretty 
sight. 

Sneezing may become more of an issue as you age. I know it's a big issue
for me, and I'm confused about how to deal with it. 

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage says I must have some allergy. I
confided in her that the only allergy I have is broccoli. I tell her 
that I have one of my sneezing fits every time she eats broccoli. 

Whether it's true or not is immaterial. It's just something I can use
against her when she complains about my sneezing fits. 

I've been trying to figure out how to make something good out of these
sneezing fits, and so far, I have failed. When I get close to a 
solution, I have one of my sneezing fits and forget what I was thinking 
about. 

Just thinking about my sneezing fits makes me sneeze. 

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage told me, "Be careful, you might
sneeze your brains out." Then she laughed. 

I responded, "Oh, my dear you're too late for that. I've already sneezed
my brains out." 

Obviously, brains aren't as important as I thought they were. 

I have been sneezing for about two weeks, and it seems to be getting
worse. Not only do I sneeze, but with the sneeze comes some disgusting 
phlegm. Several times, the whole front of my shirt was soaked in that 
disgusting phlegm. Unfortunately, The Gracious Mistress of the 
Parsonage is the first to see it, and she always responds in the 
negative. 

I have to be careful where I'm standing when a sneeze hits. There are no
warnings about the sneeze, and if I'm facing somebody when I sneeze, 
well, you know the rest of the story. 

I'll get through it as long as I don't sneeze in the direction of The
Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. 

This past week, we were at a restaurant to celebrate something. I'm
unsure what we were celebrating, but it doesn't matter. We were having 
a great time, but I was still in that sneezing fit—sneezing all the 
time. 

I try to be very careful when sneezing because I don't want to sneeze on
someone, particularly The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. But when 
a sneeze comes, it surprises me and those around me. 

We were at a restaurant, ordered our meal, and were in the middle of
eating our meal, and it was a wonderful time together. I forget what I 
ordered, but whatever it was, it was delicious, and I enjoyed it. 

Right in the middle of eating my meal, I had a sneezing fit. I've had
some practice with these sneezing fits, and I knew I needed to be 
careful which direction I was looking. Because I was seated across the 
table from The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, when I started 
sneezing, it would've been in her direction. 

Knowing that would not be a very good thing to do, I immediately turned
my head to the right and sneezed three times. At the time, my mouth was 
full of what I was eating, and it all came spewing out. 

The worst thing about that sneezing fit was I was facing our waitress


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