The fact of the matter (standard:Inspirational stories, 281 words)
Author: Scott H	Added: Jul 03 2007	Views/Reads: 3197/0	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Description of depression from the author's point of view

The fact of the matter 

Today will bring me nothing new; no new discoveries and no new
interpretations of life. Routine and complacency have taken over and 
set up permanent residence in the place in my soul formerly reserved 
for passion. 

Passion. I vaguely remember what that word means. Even vaguer is how
that emotion feels. I do recall being young and having feelings of 
yearning and wonder, daydream and awe. Every tree, every cloud, and 
every breath made me feel like the brave explorer who first conquered 
Mount Everest. Now I am nothing but a dried up husk – a large, vast 
empty shell of the person I once was. 

I find now that I am like a bad actor in a B movie, carefully lying and
manipulating to survive to the next scene. I contribute as little as 
possible to my life's journey; my only motive is to get home to my 
recliner and my television where I live vicariously through the success 
and explorations of others. Alcohol has become my friend and mentor, my 
only sense of oneness coming after several drinks. 

The doctors have prescribed all the good name brand antidepressants for
me. Some worked, some did not. The ones that did work made me feel like 
I was drunk without the effects of elation that my mentor provides me. 

As I get older, I realize that there will probably never be anything to
cure me completely. The closest “prescription” I have found is the 
magic of the “pen”. It only relieves some of the symptoms – and even 
then it's only temporary – but it does give me the one thing that 
depression has not stripped from me. Hope. 


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