ROGER'S FABULOUS VOYAGES, PART 3, CHAPTER 7. (standard:humor, 1435 words) [7/10] show all parts
Author: Danny Zil	Added: Jun 18 2012	Views/Reads: 2181/1583	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Roger is captured by the Germans as they all try to leave Klyzemadex.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

english for miners?) 

“Prostitutes!” one of them suggested. 

The Lieutenant nodded and turned back to the group. “So,” he began
again, “you are prostitutes?” he asked. 

Thropely and the others laughed. The soldiers sniggered and nudged each
other. The Lieutenant turned and glared at them. 

“Nae lad, we're not prostitutes,” said Stan. “We're miners.” He pointed
to his old clothes, coal dusty face and swastika armband. “We work down 
pits.” 

The young Lieutenant nodded, pretending he'd understood. “Ihre Papiere!”
he demanded, holding out his hand. “Papers.” 

The papers were handed over and he took them and studied them intently
then shook his head. “These papers are...are...are...” he began again, 
searching for the correct word. 

“Forging!” another of the soldiers called. 

“Ach so,” said the Lieutenant. “These papers are forging,” he told the
group. 

Thropely scratched his chin. “Forging?” he repeated, frowning. He shook
his head. “Doesn't make sense, lad.” He said. 

The Lieutenant shuffled about and glanced back accusingly at the
soldiers but they all looked away or pretended to be talking to each 
other. When he turned back, they all started sniggering and pointing at 
him. 

“These papers are...are...” he began once again. 

“Copying!” a voice called from behind him. 

“These papers are copying,” said the Lieutenant. 

“Copying the forging!” called the same voice. 

The Lieutenant nodded. “These papers are copying the forging,” he told
the group. 

Thropely shook his head and shrugged as did the others. 

The Lieutenant began to sweat and look flustered. He tried a different
approach. “We look for escape peoples,” he began, “escape 
peoples...to...to...” 

“To give them an enema!” suggested a voice from behind him. 

The Lieutenant nodded. “We look for escape peoples to give them an
enema,” he announced. 

Behind him the soldiers were sniggering and trying to suppress their
laughter. One of them couldn't hold it in any longer and ran behind the 
hut. They could all hear some muffled laughter from him and some thumps 
as he banged the hut wall. 

“Enema?” said a surprised Thropely. “We don't need enemas, lad. We all
had usual dumps this mornin.” 

This brought more sniggering from the soldiers and more muffled laughter
from behind the hut. 

The Lieutenant sweated even more. Tugged at his collar. Began to wish he
hadn't started this. In front of him the miners grew restless. 

The Lieutenant tried again. “Ach so, papers are...are...” 

“Tomatoes!” 

“These papers are tomatoes,” the Lieutenant told them all. 

Thropely and the others laughed again. “Tomatoes!?” he said. “How can
papers be tomatoes?” he asked. 

“Your papers are...are...” 

“Tomatoes with big hairy testicles!” called a voice. 

The Lieutenant looked doubtful but steadied himself for a last effort.
“These papers are tomatoes with big hairy testicles,” he told Thropely, 
very sternly. 

Thropely sniggered. “Tomatoes with big hairy--” he managed before
bursting out laughing. 

As did Stan, Doris and even Roger. As did the group of soldiers. 

The young Lieutenant took in the two laughing groups and lost it. He
screamed, threw the papers to the ground and jumped up and down on 
them. This caused further hilarity. The Lieutenant ran back to the hut, 
rushed in and slammed the door. 

When the soldiers had recovered, a Sergeant strolled over. He picked the
papers up, brushed them off and examined them. 

“Your papers are in order,” he said in good english, smiling and handing
them back. 

A grinning Thropely took them and nodded. 

“You like our little joke with the Herr Leutnant?” the Sergeant asked. 

“Aye, it was good,” said Thropely. 

“He's a pompous asshole!” the Sergeant told them. 

Thropely and Stan laughed. 

“So, where are you going?” the Sergeant asked. 

“T' main mine on Klyzemadex,” Stan told him. “We're all miners, lookin
for work.” 

“Plenty of work,” the Sergeant told them. “Go,” he said and waved them
on. 

They strolled past the group of soldiers who grinned and waved to them. 

“Glad we got through that,” said Thropely when they had passed them. 

“Aye,” agreed Stan. “It were good, though.” 

A short distance further on Roger stopped and turned. Without warning he
yelled, “”You're all a bunch of Kraut bastards!” He clapped a hand to 
his mouth and a look of sheer panic came into his eyes. 

The soldiers were still sniggering about the Lieutenant and hadn't
really heard him. 

“Ja? What you say?” called the Sergeant. 

Thropely shook his head and waved. 

The Sergeant shrugged and turned back to his men. 

‘No more!' Roger pleaded inside his head. ‘Please don't make me say any
more!' 

Thropely glared at him. “Keep quiet, lad!” he hissed. “Ship's not far
away now.” 

“I know,” said Roger, “but it's the same as before. I'm being made to
say thingsYOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF MURDERING NAZI SWINE!!” he yelled at 
the soldiers. 

This time they did hear him. Immediately they trotted up and surrounded
the group, rifles pointing. 

The Sergeant strolled up after them. He was no longer smiling. He stared
at Roger. “A bunch of murdering Nazi swine, eh?” 

Roger swallowed. He swallowed several times. Oh and turned white. 

“Take him,” the Sergeant ordered, nodding at Roger. “The rest of you –
go.” Back at the hut there was a hurried conversation between the 
Sergeant and the Lieutenant. Roger was then bundled into the old Army 
jeep with the Sergeant and driven off. 

“Where are we going?” asked the trembling one. 

“SS Head Quarters,” the Sergeant told him curtly. 

“SS?” said Roger. “I've read about them. Those are the really cruel
sadistic brutal Nazis, aren't they?” 

The Sergeant nodded. 

“Ha! I've shit harder than them!” said Roger then fainted. 


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