Her Perfect Gentleman (standard:non fiction, 2109 words)
Author: The St. John Lady	Added: Jan 26 2009	Views/Reads: 3159/2096	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Too many years of heartache leave her hurting. He offers her kindness and friendship, not realising she will fall. A goodbye letter or a letter to say I love you? Fact or Fiction? You choose!

All characters and ideas are copyright to Nicky D Sarti 2009. 

With an obvious passion the hero swept his beautiful girlfriend off her
feet and carried her off into the sunset to live happily ever after... 
and this was my problem ~ fairytale happy endings. All well and good in 
the Land of Make Believe but in the real world things like that just 
did not happy, well not to me anyway! I was always, or so it seemed to 
me destined to be that crazy old lady who ended up living in the spooky 
house on the hill; surrounded by cats and smelling of pee! 

It was something I had come to terms with somewhat, aware that my life
would never be like that “in the movies.” Being honest I hated the idea 
that my life would end without anyone by my side, and I know it was 
slightly selfish of me to “want” all the time (what with a wonderful 
family and all) but my heart longed for a real honest love. The kind 
that was in the fairytales, the kind that would last forever and never 
let you down or make you cry. In short I wanted an old fashioned 
romantic gentleman that was a white Knight in shining armour. 

For goodness knows how many years of my life I had these self same
feelings of defeat, I was 24 years old before I found some form of 
love; and even then it was not necessarily the good kind. I admit that 
getting a crush on a married chairman of my local football club was 
probably not the best idea I had ever had, nor was the fact that I 
seemingly just could not get the picture that he was not interested in 
me. While my head (I think) and my friends all told me better, my heart 
seemingly told me that I was in love with this very wrong man. I felt 
things I had never felt before, believed that the guy I saw was the 
“real deal” and not the one others said he was. 

I guess I thought that because he was so far out of my league he would
somehow be better socially for me, not that I can honestly say I 
understand that. I wanted a guy that to be honest would have made me 
feel stupid, and this was the last thing that I needed. I would have 
always felt out of place and uncomfortable with him, and for my 
unconfident low self esteemed fragile heart it would not have been a 
good thing. After getting my heart totally torn apart and broken into 
little bits, I wisely made the choice to try move on with my life. I 
still haven't got “closure” on that part of my life and doubt that I 
ever shall, but at least I am trying to move on! 

And then at 31 years old I met you!!! Well that's strictly not true; we
had known each other for sometime through the football, but only spoke 
in passing. And then, after countless other problems in my life I 
called for help and you replied. You were so kind to me and empathetic 
to my plight, never rushing me and seemingly genuinely concerned in my 
problems. And of course that was where my problems started; actually to 
be honest it was the time after we met in town that was the problem! 

I want to blame my bloody hormones or those damn wallpapered walls; hell
I'll even blame the dang gold covered bin if it helped me to 
understand. All I know is one moment you were just that nice ex MP that 
helped me out and the next I was thinking things that are probably 
illegal in 15 Countries, would quiet possible shock my mother (and you) 
and thinking how much I would like to bang your brains out... see I 
told you I should blame the damned gold bin! When I bumped into you 
later the same day it took all I had not to beg you to bang me 
senseless, which would have been satisfying but would have ruined our 
friendship! 

I don't know if it was one certain thing or if it was just a matter of
time and our seemingly “getting closer” friendship. Whatever it was I 
found myself thinking about you more and more, not to mention feeling 
better about not just myself but also my situation; somehow young man 
you have managed to get through to me, I'm just not sure if it is 
because I fancy you so much... I am still reluctant to call it love, as 
in truth I could not say for certain it was/is. I mean how can I be 
falling in love or even in love with a person that I cannot be with. In 
truth I don't even know you that well really do I? 

But there are times when I feel that you are the love of my life, and
yes I know that sounds daft; but it is true. You make me feel wanted 
with a compliment or nice word, you seemingly have the same type of 
morals and beliefs I have. You say the right things, and seemingly do 
the right things also. How could I not fall when you are so bloody, 


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