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The Old Turkey Trot (standard:humor, 390 words) | |||
Author: Everet | Added: Nov 30 2008 | Views/Reads: 3207/0 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
A wStory about a Thanksgiving Dinnr(Maybe) | |||
Thanksgiving Dinner WELL TURKEY DAY PASSED and I WANNA TELL YOU WE HAD A TIME. YOU SEE THERE WERE SOME WILD TURKEYS THAT HUNG AROUND OUR HOUSE AND I HAVE HAD MY EYE ON THEM ALL YEAR. A FEW DAYS BEFORE THANKSGIVING I DECIDED That I WAS GOING TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE FOR MY THANKSGIVING DINNER. HECK. I THOUGHT. THEY ARE DUMB AND CAN'T FLY, SURELY THEY CAN'T RUN VERY FAST. THAT WAS A BIG ERROR IN JUDGEMENT ON MY PART. WELL HERE THEY CAME STROLLING ALONG MY BACK FENCE AND I KNEW I HAD IT MADE. "I'LL JUST WAIT TIL THEY GET TO THE CORNER AND I WILL HAVE THEM TRAPPED" THEY WERE GOING ALONG TALKING BACK AND FORTH AND NOT PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO ME AT ALL AS I SLOWLY EDGED CLOSER AND CLOSER. SOON I WAS WITHIN TWENTY FEET OF THEM AND THEY STILL WERE NOT PAYING ANY ATTENTION SO THEN I MADE MY MOVE. I GOT CLOSER AND CLOSER THEN ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. FIRST THEY TRIED TO RUN, BUT THE CORNER WAS THERE AND THEN THEY ATTACKED ME IN A BUNCH. BOY I MEAN THE FEATHERS AND MY SKIN WERE FLYING IN ALL DIRECTIONS. THEM TURKEYS FLOGGED ME WITHIN AN INCH OF MY LIFE AND I ENDED UP RUNNING( FAST AS AN 86 YEAR OLD CAN (WHICH IS MORE LIKE A SNAIL) WITH THEM COMING ON STRONG. AFTER ABOUT TWENTY FEET I RAN OUT OF GAS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO KILL ME. THEY WERE SQUAWKING AND PECKING AND CLAWING AND CARRYING ON AND I WAS YELLING FOR GOD OR SOMEONE TO SAVE MY WORTHLESS HIDE. I GUESS I WAS LUCKY WHEN MY NEIGHBOR, HEARING ALL THE NOISE CAME TO MY RESCUE. HE GRABBED A TREE LIMB AND STARTED SWINGING IT AND SOON THE TURKEYS HAD ENOUGH AND DECIDED TO DEPART THE AREA. I KNOW ONE THING IF I EVER DECIDE TO GET A WILD TURKEY, I AM GOING TO BE WELL ARMED WITH HEAVY ARTILLERY AND HAVE LOTS OF PROTECTIVE GEAR COVERING MY WITHERED BODY.( AND MAYBE HIRE A COUPLE OF BODY GUARDS FOR GOOD MEASURE).AND THAT IS WHY OUR TURKEY DINNER TURNED OUT TO BE HOTDOGS AND DIET PEPSI,WITH ME EATING FROM A WELL PADDED STOOL AND TAKING A LOT OF GUFF FROM THOSE WHO ENJOYED MY PAIN AND SUFFERING Tweet
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