Flamingo Attacks Human! (standard:humor, 798 words)
Author: Tony Dungate	Added: Jun 14 2008	Views/Reads: 3161/0	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
What seems like a harmless accident turns out to be a well thought out plan to intentionally attack humans by flamingos.

Well, it seems I have another story to tell. This one concerns attacks
by a red flamingo here in the building. 

There is an aisle way that runs from the elevator doorway to my desk.
When you first walk into this aisle, there are two red metal flamingos, 
one on each side. They seem harmless enough, but I kept knocking them 
off of the baffle, or so I thought. 

One day I was walking by and knocked off the flamingo. Careless me
right! At that time I mentioned to the person who sat next to them that 
I need to learn to walk down an aisle. 

Well the next day I get off of the elevator determined to not knock off
a flamingo. I turned the corner, lined myself up, and walked right down 
the middle of the aisle. As I am walking in the middle at least three 
foot clear on both sides, I knock a flamingo again! I was 
flabbergasted. How could I have knocked one off again? 

As I am picking the flamingo up again, my co-worker Cindy peeks around
her baffle. She says, “did it again, didn't you.” I said, “I don't 
understand how, I was clear on each side by about three feet!” She said 
that the same thing had happened to her on her way in. As we talked 
some more, Cindy mentioned that she had a relative who had used a Kitty 
Cam to keep any eye on her babysitter and wondered if we should set one 
up so we could see what was happening. 

The next day I got off of the elevator again but this time took the long
way around. After dropping my things off at my desk, I went over to 
Cindy's desk. She had already set up the Kitty Cam. It was set up on 
the top off of her monitor with a clear view of the aisle way and the 
two flamingos. We agreed it was time for me to try and walk through 
Flamingo Alley. 

I went around the back way and walked up to the elevator doorway out of
sight of the flamingos. I had taken off my coat and had dropped my 
knapsack at my desk so that I didn't have anything bulky to get caught. 
I entered Flamingo Alley and started to walk by the flamingos doing a 
check from side to side. I could see both flamingos hanging on each 
side of me. As I thought I was free and clear. I felt a hook on my 
shirt and next thing a flamingo drops to the ground. I couldn't believe 
it! 

Well I picked up the flamingo and set it back up on the baffle. Then I
went over to Cindy's desk which was two desks past the flamingos at the 
end of Flamingo Alley. Cindy had a look of utter shock on her face. She 
had just finished hooking the Kitty Cam with a USB cable to her 
desktop. I asked her, “what's wrong, what did you see?” 

She grabbed her mouse, scrolled around her screen and setup Windows
Media Player to play. “Watch this” she said as she clicked on the play 
button. As the video started, you could see down Flamingo Alley. A few 
second later, I walk around the corner, stepped up to and a little past 
the flamingos. You could see me look to each side checking my distance 
from the baffles, and then it happened! Out of the side of the screen, 
one of the flamingos jumped off of the wall, unassisted, and grabbed my 
shirt! I couldn't believe what I was seeing! 

Cindy and I looked at each other in utter shock. The flamingo jumped off
of the wall and attacked me! What was going on? Within the past month I 
had had a rabbit leave a written note for me to type up and now I had 
flamingos consciously attacking me. Am I developing a hidden talent or 
skill that I can somehow reach out and relate or communicate with 
animals or seemingly inanimate objects? I thanked Cindy for her help 
with the Kitty Cam and asked her send me a copy of the video. 

That same day, I sent a copy of the video to security and asked them to
deal with the situation. I am happy to report that the flamingos were 
taken out in high-security cages and delivered to the federal 
government where they are undergoing extensive testing to determine the 
origin of their consciousness to see if there is an alien connection to 
them. 

We now can safely walk down the aisle since there only exists paper
cutouts celebrating St. Patrick's Day. Is it really safe out there? If 
anything odd happens again, I will post an update. 


Tweet