Water melon Contest (standard:humor, 1356 words)
Author: stanley mcqueen kentucky backwoods writer	Added: Jul 20 2007	Views/Reads: 3440/0	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
short backwood tale

Watermelon Contest 

My Paw is a farmer and a good one to say the least, his name is Nath we
are Turners by our last name, there is three of us and we live near the 
little sandy river in a small shack, out little farm runs along the 
sandy bottoms of the river and most of is fertile land. Our little one 
horse town is small and it only has about eight building and they are 
crudely built like ever dwelling is among these parts. Every year at 
the beginning of fall we have county fair and it is the biggest event 
that happing in these parts, ever one bring there fruits to the fair 
and they are judged by special folks that have and eye for quality , my 
dear paw has tried for five long years to grow the biggest water melon 
and has failed so far. This year there is a big reward for the biggest 
and best looking melon and a bounty of four hundred dollars which is a 
lot of money to say the least, well my good Paw has planted a large 
patch of melon along side the river this year and they have done so 
well he is bragging and thinks he has the biggest melon, he took me and 
Maw to see his patch and behold he has the biggest melon that I or 
anyone else has ever seen , he has tended to these melon like a cow 
would to a new calf, we are setting at the supper table and he is 
talking about that melon. Maw say he has melon on the brain , he is so 
excited and hopeful this year that he has the contest in the bag, he is 
already talking about what he is going to buy with the contest money , 
and Ma tells him  not to count his chickens before they hatch. Well 
Sara paw says looks like I will be able to buy you a sewing machine and 
that new dress that you have had your eye on that is in the general 
store for sure when I win all that money paw tells Maw as we are hoeing 
corn on the ridge above our shack, well Nath like I have told you 
before someone might have a bigger melon that the one you have grown, 
replied Maw as she cut weeds out of our late corn patch, paw he don't 
listen to maw and just knows he is going to be the winner. Well woman 
its just three more week till the fair and then you'll see who wins paw 
Bragg every day paw visits the water melon patch and he stand and 
admires the big melon. I bet that melon would weight eighty or ninety 
pounds he tell me , boy ain,t she a beauty . Let me tell you a secret 
son do you know how I got that melon to grow so big he asked, well no 
paw I don't know How I asked' well don't let it out son , but I used 
chicken manure from your mother chicken lot he says smiling and 
admiring his giant melon that sets so proudly in the patch beside the 
river, it was near the time of the fair and paw had become so excited 
and says he can't wait hardly for the time to pass, then the day before 
the fair finely come to pass and paw was going to pick the melon on the 
morning before the fair so it might gain and extra ounce. We all headed 
off toward the river and was soon at the patch paw hitched up the wagon 
and took us along so me and him could tote the melon on the back of the 
wagon and he heaped a bail of straw in the back of the wagon so that 
the melon wouldn't bust by the many bumps In the rough wagon trails 
that lead to our small town ,when we arrive we got the surprise of our 
lives the melon was gone , paw got off the wagon and his face got real 
red and he went to cussing something fierce and me and Maw was afraid 
to say a word he was furious and he sort of like went off in his head 
and went to busting melons and throwing them in the river and carrying 
on something awful, someone has come in here last night and stole my 
melon and im destroyed. I should have pulled it off the vine last night 
instead of waiting till this morning, well that has done it he cusses 
and seems to have lost his mind sort of and me and maw are afraid to 
say anything to him he is so mad.After a lot of cussing and going on 
finely he comes to his senses and get atop the wagon and declares that 
he is finished ever trying to win the contest ever again, he drives us 
back to our shack and maw asked him was he still going into town to the 
contest and he says yes we are going and I might find out who stole my 
melon , whoever stole it might inter it into the contest he added. We 
hurried on to town and when we got there people was everywhere , the 
tables were along side the small streets was line with the fruits of 
contest and kids run everywhere this was a grand day here at sandy 
bottom township a grand day for everyone but my angry paw. Paw parked 
the wagon and tied the mules to a tree, and we went up and down the 
side of the road seeing if we could located paws stole melon, when we 
got to the four tables that held the melons that was entered, we never 
seen a melon that looked to be paws” paw was so mad and would have 
whipped  someone if he has found his melons among the many melons that 
was entered and me and maw was glad he never found it among the other 
melon, the judges come along side the melons and inspected them all 
carefully and then they set down on some benches that was in front of 
all those beautiful melons, and paw stared at them with mean looking 
eyes knowing that he was not included in the contest, then one of the 
head judges come to the side of one of the tables and then he says 
ladies and gentlemen we have a winner it's  Nath Turner, paw eyes bulge 
out and then we watch as two strong men come carrying paw big melon 
that they had hide under the table , folks cheered as paw walked up to 
the judge , and the judge handed paw four fresh hundred dollar bills 
and a blue ribbon. Nath we stole that melon as a joke , we done it for 
fun and let me tell you this I have judged melons contest for many 
years now and this here melon is the biggest I ever seen grown anywhere 
it weight ninety five pounds and us judges slipped around people water 
melons patch just to sort of see what kind of melons was growing for 
the contest and we knew before hand that yours was the biggest and the 
best looking melon any of us had ever saw, so we thought we have a 
little fun with you before hand declared the judge , well judges  “you 
fellow cause me to bust ever melon in my patch I was so riled paw says” 
and the people roared in laughter ,, paw was the proudest man in little 
sandy township and this was the grandest day ever for us turners . Maw 
would get a new sewing machine and a new dress to sport around in the 
district, and paw would sleep with his blue ribbon above his bedstead 
,if I should live to be a hundred years old I shall never forget the 
year my good paw won the little sandy water melon contest, THE END


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