I Should Have Called You Dad (standard:poetry, 539 words)
Author: Kamea	Added: May 27 2005	Views/Reads: 3142/0	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
It's hard to come to grips with the reality of losing a loved one, when there are so many things you wished you could have said....

"I Should Have Called You Dad" 

It seems that now you're gone, I live every day in fear. Your the only
one close to me who's ever died, it's strange that your not here. 

You taught me so many things, you've been my Papa, since I was three,
you raised me the best you could, you were always there for me. 

I know these past few years were hard, my teens, they were the worst, I
said so many awful things, and looking back, I know they must have 
hurt. 

I was so angry at the time, I didn't mean those things I said. I thought
I was trying to be independent, but I was just selfish instead. 

It seems so strange without you here, no phone calls just to check on me
no collard greens from the garden anymore. I wish I could go back and 
change some things, if only I'd have known what life had in store. 

It seems that now you're gone, I live every day of my life in fear, of
losing someone else close to me, I scared to let anyone else get near. 

I don't think I can handle it, if it ever happens again, it seems like
it's not worth loving, if you have to live without them in the end. 

I've never felt such pain, my first broken heart, I thought that was as
bad as it could get, you mended my heart back then, now your not here 
to do it. 

Why does God let us love, if in the end we lose it all, I need you so
badly, but your not here to pick me up when I fall. 

Oh I know you would if you could, I don't doubt that one bit. But I just
can't stop hurting, every night I cry til I'm sick. 

I always called you Papa, the regret it hurts so bad, I always called
you Papa, when I should have called you Dad. 

Your first great grandson sleeps in the next room, I remember you were
so excited when he arrived. You were going to teach him all the things 
you taught me, oh' the times to come you described! 

You were going to teach him to sing, to ride his bike, and be there when
his first fish ever bit, he turned one this past Thursday, but you 
didn't get to be here for it. 

I'm so sorry for all the times he'll miss, with the greatest Papa that
ever lived, but I'll show him all the things you would have, all the 
great gifts in life you had to give. 

I'm so sorry for the fights we had, I wish we could have had one more
time to sit on the porch and just be together, but you'll always be my 
Papa, back then, right now, forever. Kamea 

*This is for my Grandpa who passed away five days before Christmas this
past year, it was a hard fought battle, and I know you tried your best, 
but I guess God needed you more than we did, I know your smiling down 
on us, I'm going to miss your garden this year, I love you and I miss 
you.* *Lexie* 


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