Don't Pity Us Fools (standard:Editorials, 555 words)
Author: MandyPants	Added: Dec 01 2004	Views/Reads: 3416/0	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Some words on how pity and self pity stop us from achieving our basic desires.

Self-pity is indeed a pathetic thing but not for the reasons we have
been meant to believe. It is shallow in it's effects and wanderings, 
not for it's embellishments, or due to it's absorption with one's self, 
but rather out of it's inability to be an actual emotion. 

I have tried throughout my life, to force myself to feel sorry for
certain things that have been hurtful. It is in the mere fact that I 
have been trying, that proves that it is not an actual emotion that I 
possess but one with which I have been raised to feel necessary at 
times. Once a feeling of self-pity is created I can only hold onto it 
for a short time. The benefits of it's possession are nil, and I am 
then left to mourn it's absense, thinking it should exist. 

Pity in any form has no purpose. It doesn't bring relief to a worried
mind nor does it bring solace. It has always failed to bring me any 
kind of company, for it is facetious in it's existence. A few times I 
have been fooled by it's intended consolation but that was long ago. 
Once one realizes the random workings of the world and the 
insignificance of themselves as part of it, it is not possible to dwell 
on things, personally related. Any situation can occur, everything can 
get worse and there is sometimes nothing you can do to effect the 
outcome. All health related issues are like this, you are simply left 
to deal with the eventuality and to try to minimize the hindrance on 
those things in life that you may enjoy. 

Pity for others is wasted by the absence of influence. Nothing you can
do will enable those you pity to do better by their cause. Only they 
can choose the way they cope with their suffering and you have only to 
wait for the outcome. It is not wise or sincere to do otherwise. If you 
seek to lessen someone else's pain it could be out of your own 
inability to cope with the situation, maybe not, out of your concern 
for the other person. Pity comes from ourselves and it is directly 
related to our own fears and experiences. It is not as we have been 
taught to believe, out of love of any sort. It is a self derived 
reaction to something that hurt us, and that threatens to jeopardize 
our constant need for security. 

You cannot pity something or someone that you love. You can only have
faith that whatever it may be, will be dealt with by your loved one and 
continue on as you had before. Pity for them, will only make the bad 
situation worse, for it threatens to undo everything previously had 
between you. If you pity someone, that person is then seen as a victim, 
not as the person you knew before. They are then forced to deal with 
the loss of their independence and validity, along with whatever it is 
they are coping with to begin. 

Pity makes us all fools. It takes us away from the truth in a situation.
It gives us an excuse for not dealing with an issue. It encourages us 
to avoid the subject, and to minimize the emotions that we may have, 
until we are numb.


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