WHATEVER BECAME OF MOOSE LAM? (standard:humor, 276 words)
Author: Magic Manny	Added: Dec 17 2003	Views/Reads: 3446/0	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
One man's recount of his fellow barfly, Moose Lam.

Moose Lam was the black guy who used to drink in the same bar as me in
Portland.  He had a wooden leg that he would stab and set fire to cos 
this was an effective way to get free whiskey.  He said he was Irish 
and that he fought a shark off the coast of Kerry.  That's shit, my 
man, cos I know there ain't no fucking sharks in Ireland.  I even asked 
someone, too. 

But one day, after I'd had a fight with my girl, I went into the bar and
Moose Lam was not there.  Man, I was angry, cos that wooden legged 
muthafucka owed me a pack of smokes that he stole from outta my jacket 
pocket when I'd passed out in the toilet cubicle.  And you know, that 
peg legged fuck pissed on me?  Serious.   I swear it was also him that 
took a shit on my back, too.  But how you gonna prove faeces ownership? 
Or faeces ownershit as my girl said.   So I was not happy that day. 

“Where's Moose Lam?” I asked the girl behind the bar wearing a pink T
Shirt that had a picture of a duck shooting some big ol' rifle. 

“Wha?” she said.  She was ignorant as sin, and did not like me cos I
called her a fat troll one time. 

“I said, you fat troll, where's Moose Lam at?” 

She screamed and screamed and fucking screamed, and Braydon Goul ran out
from outta fucking nowhere and smashed a Red Sox bat across the back of 
my damn skull.  And you know what?  I never did find out what happened 
to Moose Lam. 


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