Small Potatoes (standard:humor, 293 words)
Author: J P St. Jullian	Added: Nov 12 2002	Views/Reads: 4591/1	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Experience the exactness of the inexact!

Small Potatoes 

by J P St. Jullian 

When I was just a little tyke, my stepfather found the perfect garden
plot for planting vegetables in.  It was a long abandoned sawdust pit 
in which the sawdust had rotted over many years and produced some of 
the richest soil to be found in the entire county, maybe even the 
entire state!  Anyhow, we cleared the ground and my stepfather planted 
his crops.  Needless to say, he grew record sized crops of produce and 
one of his friends, Old Jim, went into town and was boasting about the 
fertility of my stepfather's garden plot. 

“You wouldn't believe it,” he told people, “pumkins so big dey jest
won't fit in de pickup truck bed, and ‘tators the like a which nobody 
done seed!” 

Then one day a stranger drove out from a neighboring town and said he'd
heard about the quality and size of our produce.  He said that of 
course he knew the fellow who told him about it had exaggerated the 
size of the produce immensely, but that was OK with him.  He wanted to 
buy some of my stepfathers new crop potatoes. 

“Well,” said my stepdad, “how much a what did y'all have in mind ter
buy?” 

“Oh,” said the stranger, “thought I'd git ‘bout a hunnert pound a yo'
tators.” 

“I see.” said my stepdad as he removed his hat and scratched his head.  
“Well,” he continued, “I don't thanks I kin do dat.” 

“Why not?” asked the stranger.  “Ain't my money good nuff fer y'all?” 

“Oh, ain't dat, ain't dat a'tall.” said my stepdad as he started to
explain.  “Ya see, y'all only wants a hunnert pounds.  Dat's de 
problem.  I wouldn't cut one a my spuds in two fer nobody.” 


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