The Long Journey to Nowhere (standard:non fiction, 787 words)
Author: Jason Donegan	Added: Oct 01 2002	Views/Reads: 3491/2	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
One 'Normal' person's views on their dark lonely life alone

The Long Journey to Nowhere Jason Donegan 1-10-02 

Imagine a circle within a circle within a circle. That middle circle is
where I live, I call it the comfort zone. It's nice and warm within my 
comfort zone. Nobody and nothing worries me within my comfort zone. 

I've filled my comfort zone with nice things, My bedroom, my computer,
my television, my world. The curtains are drawn not only in my comfort 
zone but also in my bedroom. I can't see the world and the world can't 
see me. The walls are filled with pictures of places I want to go to 
but exist outside of my comfort zone so don't want to travel to. Life 
carry's on outside of my comfort zone and I miss it, it's activities, 
it's opportunities and it's mysteries. I miss them all but they don't 
miss me. Life, as they say, is passing me by. 

My mum says I'm not normal, but there are lots of people like me, Normal
means to be similar to others so surely I am normal. All I know is that 
I'm comfortable. I communicate with more people than my Mum does, it's 
just that I do so in chat rooms, it different but at least I'm still 
communicating. But they don't know who I am and I don't know who they 
are. They could be next door or in the next timezone, who knows and who 
cares. 

Outside of my comfort zone isn't necessary outside of my room. The
hallway isn't difficult to deal with, the toilet definitely isn't. The 
comfort zone is a mental barrier not a physical hurdle. Even Outside 
the house isn't necessarily outside of my comfort zone. 

Often I go walking outside. Admittedly it's after darkness and the thick
night darkness wraps itself around me like a protective cloak but at 
least I can go out and walk. I don't know where I am walking to and I 
don't really know how long it's gonna take. Some may say that I'm just 
walking in circles hoping to look 'normal' not really wanting to go 
anywhere. Am I really outside my comfortzone or just outside my house 

For me to really get out of my comfort zone I'd have to stretch. Stretch
is my second circle that encompasses my comfort zone, the middle 
circle. Stretch is that feeling when your stomach knots up. When the 
sweat forms between your shirt and your back and is ice-cold. When all 
you want to do is run back into the comfort zone, pull back on the 
reigns and get back into your little dimly lit area. Doing things in 
stretch is doing things that are not in your normal routine, different 
things that make your think, react and be challenged. They exercise 
your mind in different ways than before. Frightened at first then that 
terror becomes adrenaline as you wish for more, harder and harder you 
can push until you hit panic. 

Panic is the last of the circles the circle that all encompasses the
other two, the most difficult section and where we really shouldn't be 
visiting on a regular basis. Panic is the area of our lives when we 
push through stretch and go too far. Panic can often lead to us 
retreating back into our comfort zones, hiding under the bed clothes, 
watching the same bubble-gum TV and hiding ourselves away. 

To live within our comfort zone is nice and warm, it's easy and
unchallenging. The longer we live in the comfort zone the larger it 
becomes and it begins to eat into our stretch zone. The larger the 
comfort zone the smaller the stretch and the smaller the stretch the 
closer panic moves to us in the comfort zone. If our comfort zone is 
large and the stretch is small, a simple task that moves us out of 
comfort will push us straight into panic, that awful place where we 
feel like we're gonna fall over the edge of the cliff and perish on the 
rocks that lie beneath. 

Ideally, we should be pushing ourselves out of the comfort as much as
possible, making it more acceptable and easier to deal with life in 
stretch. By spending more and more time in stretch, by exercising our 
stretching techniques and skills we see it grow larger and stronger and 
the panic boundaries get pushed further away. The comfort zone, that 
soft, moist and warm place we thought we liked but never really did 
gets smaller and smaller. 

The journey that I now see myself walking along appears to be going
somewhere and it's a long and winding journey. But every journey is 
within walking distance, as long as you've got enough time. 


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