Seperate Lives (standard:romance, 2890 words)
Author: Meranda206	Added: Oct 24 2000	Views/Reads: 3721/2204	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
A simple phone call has JC facing his past and having to fianlly deal with heartbreak.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

couldn't have been to just see how I was doing." JC asked. 

Miranda sat down on the bed in her hotel room and gave a long sigh. 

"After all this time you still seem to read my mind, Josh." JC sat on
the couch in his living room and turned off the television to hear her 
more clearly. He hated to admit it to himself, but every time he heard 
her say his name it made him feel so warm inside. 

"I sometimes find myself thinking about you at the most awkward times. I
can be out with Mike having to best time, but at any given moment 
thoughts of you run through my mind. I was sitting here unpacking and I 
got this lonely feeling deep inside, Josh.....And all I wanted to do 
was call you, because I knew you would make everything better like you 
always used to...And then I finally came back down to reality. I really 
miss you JC...Do you ever think of me when you are alone or lonely? I 
don't know why I do that......" Miranda continued to talk but JC tuned 
her out thinking about her and the past. 

--------------------------------------------------------- 

You called me from the room in your hotel 

All full of romance for someone that you met 

And telling me how sorry you were for leaving so soon 

And that you missed me sometimes 

When you're alone in your room 

Do I feel lonely too 

You have no right 

To ask me how I feel 

You have no right 

To speak to me so kind 

I can't go on 

Just holding on too tight 

Now that we're living 

Seperate Lives 

--------------------------------------------------------- 

JC cleared his throat and began to speak. "I do think about you,
Miranda. It's really hard not to...It's really hard not to think of how 
badly you hurt me-" 

Miranda interrupted him, "JC I-" he cut her off. 

"No, let me finish. It's very hard not to remember coming back to the
apartment we once shared so long ago thinking that my girlfriend would 
be waiting for me with open arms...Thinking that she would be elated to 
see me after the three weeks I was away. And since we barely talked 
about it since that day, I really need to tell you everything about it, 
Miranda. Not just for me, but for the both of us." JC took a deep 
breath and began to speak, choking back the tears and anger that he had 
shut away for so many months. 

"Somewhere along the line, I fell in love with you, Miranda. I found
myself not able to concentrate on anything but you. I went to sleep 
with thoughts of you, dreamt about you....Woke up thinking about 
you....I never expected to fall in love with you, but I did. I never 
hid that from you. I was as honest and as upfront with you about 
everything. When we moved in together, I thought I could handle having 
that. I knew that you were apprehensive about the whole thing, but I 
wanted us to give it a try...Maybe I pushed too hard, but once we were 
together on a daily basis, Miranda, I knew that was what I wanted and I 
felt that you really wanted it too, but you were too scared to admit 
it.....So when I was in Paris on that promotional tour, I had Justin go 
with me somewhere to get you something special. I came home after being 
away for those few weeks so excited to see your face. I pulled up in 
the driveway bearing gifts for the woman I loved. I walked into the 
apartment and heard you moaning. By the sounds you were making, I 
thought you were sick so I ran to you. And when I opened the door, I 
see you and another man........In OUR bed." JC's voice cracked as he 
tried to hold back the tears as long as he could, but he decided that 
it was finally time to let it all out. He could hear Miranda's 
sniffling through the phone and knew that she was silently sobbing to 
herself. 

"Do you know what I had planned to do that day, Miranda? I had planned
on giving you all of me. I wanted you to know that you owned my heart 
and I wanted to show you by asking you to marry me. But when I saw you 
in bed with him, I couldn't even breath. I had to get out of there as 
quickly as I could. You had already made your choice when you invited 
him into our bed." 

"I'm so sorry JC. I really didn't mean for it to happen that way. You
were away so much and you never called....I was so lonely without you 
there. He was someone I was leaning on while you were away." 

"Leaning on!?" JC became furious with her answer. 

"We became friends and I used to go to him with all my worries and
troubles that I was having dealing with the fact that you were away 
from me and seemed to be forgetting about me. He came over that day and 
I had been drinking a lot that day and I was upset that you hadn't 
called me in 2 weeks and it just happened...That was the first time. 
There was nothing happening between us until that day, JC." 

"Well it only took that day for you break my heart." 

"I know JC. I can't say anything that will change that...I know." 

"I loved you so much that I even tried forgiving you. I acted like it
had never happened. I think that was my biggest mistake....I tried to 
forget...and I couldn't." 

"You really didn't show it though, JC." 

"I put on an act for you and for myself. I couldn't believe that
everything that I had felt for you before that day had changed into 
anger and almost hatred." 

"hatred?" 

"At the time, that's how I felt, Miranda...And it became unbearable to
even look at you....And when you came home that day and told me that 
you were leaving to be with him, I almost cracked a smile because I was 
so happy to be rid of you finally." 

Miranda's sobs grew louder and JC realized that his words were very mean
and hurtful, but he continued on with his story. Miranda started to 
think about all the times that she remembered him acting so lovingly 
towards her and finally realizing that it was all a charade. 

--------------------------------------------------------- 

Well I held on 

To let you go 

And if you lost your love for me, well you never let it show 

There was no way 

To compromise 

So now we're living 

Seperate Lives 

-------------------------------------- 

"I think I took our love for granted, Miranda. I was so sure of what we
had that I knew you would understand if I wasn't able to call because 
of my schedule. I thought that you would be there no matter what, and I 
was wrong. I should not have neglected you the way I did...But at the 
time there was nothing I could really do about it." JC sobbed. 

"I understand, Josh. It was just those times when I would be talking to
your family about you and they would tell me things about your events 
overseas and how they had talked to you the night earlier and wondered 
what you had told me that night. I would have to sit there and just 
smile and say 'He didn't call me. I guess he got busy after he talked 
to you.' I felt so stupid and embarrassed when they looked at me and 
then looked at each other with the strangest faces as if to say, 'I 
guess she won't be around much longer.' I got scared. I guess I had to 
get out of the relationship before you tried to." Miranda cried as she 
tried to stop her nose from running. 

"After you left I built this wall up around my heart, vowing to never
let anyone in again. It's been hard but I'm trying to break down that 
wall again and let myself love again." 

--------------------------------------------------------- 

It's So typical 

Love leads to isolation 

so you build that wall 

yes you build that wall 

and you make it stronger 

Well You have no right 

to ask me how I feel 

You have no right 

to speak to me so kind 

--------------------------------------------------------- 

"JC, I still love you. I will always love you. I did a horrible thing
and I know you won't be able to forget, but I was just hoping that you 
could forgive me. You were my best friend. You knew everything about me 
and I haven't been able to find a friend like you. I am begging you to 
be my friend again. I miss you so much it hurts. It hurts even more to 
know that you hate me." 

"I don't hate you, sweetie. Totally the opposite of hate,
Miranda...That's why I can't be your friend." 

Miranda started to cry aloud. 

"shhhh...shhhh....Sweetie, please..." 

Miranda began to calm down. 

"You have to give me time, Miranda. I have to have time to swallow the
fact that you are with someone else and that things between us are 
over...Until then I don't think that I can find myself looking in your 
eyes any time soon." 

"I understand." Miranda said almost in a whisper. "I am sorry that I
bothered you. I really just wanted to hear your voice." 

"You didn't bother me, Baby...You just caught me at a bad time...But
listen...You are here taking that next step with..." JC struggled to 
utter his name, "...Mike...So concentrate on your new life with your 
new guy and be happy baby. Stop being so scared and just jump into it 
head on. I think you called me trying to find a way out like you did 
before when we were together and you ran to him." He said. 

"There might be some truth to that...But I really mostly called you
because I missed you so much." 

"I missed you too. I missed opening my eyes and seeing you fast asleep
in front of me. I missed laying my head on the pillows and being able 
to still smell you on them. I missed having your body there to hold 
every night. I missed coming home and you running up to me and jumping 
in my arms and just kissing me until I wrapped your legs around my 
waist and took into the bedroom to show you how much I really missed 
you....I even missed your bad cooking." JC joked. 

Miranda laughed and wiped away what was left of her tears with a tissue.


"I am not that bad, JC." She slightly laughed. 

"Yes you were." JC laughed. His smile started to fade slowly. "What do
you miss the most about me?" 

"I miss the way you used to sing to me when I couldn't sleep...I miss
the way you used to put your index finger on the tip of my nose and 
tell me that I was such a dork in the most affectionate way 
possible...I missed the way you used to surprise me with candles and 
long bubble baths...." JC's smile grew while he reminisced with her. 

"I miss the way you always seemed to know exactly what I was thinking
and could answer my questions and make everything better with just one 
look into my eyes....I miss everything JC..." Miranda slid form the 
edge of the bed to the floor and brought her knees to her chest. 

JC closed his eyes and pictured her doing just that... 

"But I understand that you need time...and I will have to give it to
you...But before I go, I just want to let you know that the real reason 
I called you today was to tell you that the love you had for me so long 
ago was never unnoticed...And even though I may not have shown it in my 
actions I truly felt it whenever I was with you. My heart overflowed 
with love for you and I never told you just how much I loved you....And 
to this day...I love you just the same...No other man will have my 
heart the way you do. Not even Mike. I realized that when I left that 
day...But there was no turning back for me. I had to see for myself if 
it was really true." 

"If what was really true?" JC asked intently. 

"If you really held the key to my heart and my soul." 

JC wiped the tears from his eyes. 

"You don't have to respond to that, JC. I just had to say it. I'll let
you go now." 

"Hey...." JC said trying to catch her. 

"Yes?" 

"I just wanted to tell you,I still care about you and I would like for
you to call me from time to time to let me know how you are doing, ok?" 


"Ok." Miranda slightly smiled. 

"Good luck with meeting Mike's parents. I hope that you find happiness
somehow, baby." Miranda thought to herself silently 'the only way I 
will find true happiness is with you.' 

"I wish the same for you...Baby." Miranda said wiping the tears from her
eyes trying not to cry anymore. 

"Goodbye, Josh." 

"Goodbye, Miranda." 

JC waited for her to hang up and finally placed the phone on the cradle
slowly. He layed his head back on the couch and brought his hands to 
his face and wiped his eyes down and brought his hands over his mouth 
and let out a deep breath. 

"Ohhhhh Miranda....I need YOU to make me happy...." JC sat there for a
moment and then slapped his knees and stood up slowly and walked down 
the long empty hallway in his new home to his large bedroom... 

"Dammit!" he said to himself as he walked into his bedroom and shut the
door. 

---------------------------------------------------------- 

Someday I might 

Find myself looking in your eyes 

But for now we'll go on living 

Separate lives 

----------------------------------------------------------- 

Miranda layed her head down on her pillow and thought about JC once more
until the phone rang. It was Mike telling her to be ready in 20 minutes 
to meet his family. She finished the conversation and hung up the phone 
and layed there staring at the ceiling. 

"I guess for now I'll have to let you have your space JC...just for
now...." She said to herself. 

------------------------------------------------------------ 

Yes for now we'll go on living 

Seperate lives 


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