One Man's Rules for Life (standard:humor, 1820 words)
Author: Jim Spence	Added: Apr 17 2002	Views/Reads: 3486/2355	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
a list of things I've learned about life in my almost 50 years of living ...

One Man's Rules for Life 

If you give a waitress a great tip, she'll remember you... if you give
her a lousy tip, she'll remember you, too. 

Teaching a dog a trick every now and then is good.  Learning one
yourself is even better. 

Don't ever pass up a chance to tell someone important to you that you
love them. 

Never work on anything electrical while bare foot. 

Kids and dogs can see through any exterior you put up. 

If you assemble anything that uses gasoline and you have more than two
parts left over ... re-read the assembly instructions. 

Your tone of voice is more important than your words when talking to
animals or government employees. 

Your boss doesn't care if you have a lazy day; he just wants to know
before his boss does. 

If your car has 150,000 miles on it, never fill it with gasoline; $5
will be enough to get you wherever you want to go. 

Retracing your steps to find something you've misplaced only works if
you're looking for something else. 

The further ahead you are in line for the shower, the shorter your
shower should be. 

You can improve anyone's day by asking about their children. 

Back into a parking place at the movies or a ball game; pull into a
parking place at the grocery store. 

You can learn a lot about a person by the way they treat elderly people
and children. 

If a person says “money's not important”, they've always had it. 

Men and women will ask the same questions of each other for entirely
different reasons. 

The things we regret most not doing are often those things that would
have been easiest to do. 

Telemarketers are people, too ... they've just lost their sense of
humor. 

When you're introduced to someone for the first time, say their name at
least twice when introduced ... you'll remember it that way, and 
they'll remember yours. 

No matter how impressive a person is, they've been caught at least once
picking their nose. 

You can abuse a vehicle all you want, but change the oil every 3000
miles. 

Never borrow money from a man named Big Ed. 

Putting off saying “I'm sorry” when it is due not only makes it harder
to say, it makes it less believable when said. 

The first ten minutes you're awake after a long night's sleep belong to
you ... it's important to remember this when sleeping with someone 
else. 

Even though breakfast is the most important meal of the day for your
physical health, a good dinner is even more important for your mental 
outlook. 



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