Women are from Venus - Men are from Pluto (standard:humor, 1297 words)
Author: Jim Spence	Added: Apr 15 2002	Views/Reads: 3986/2486	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
The differences between men and women are just like the differences between dogs and cats.

Women are from Venus – Men are from Pluto 

Many books have been written on the differences between women and men. 
It's been said that women are from Venus, men are made of snakes and 
snails, and a litany of other differences.  As a civilization, we buy 
countless books telling us what these differences are ... millions of 
dollars are spent each year on the subject. 

It seems to me that there's an easier way to compare the two; a very
simple comparison that we all see just about every day.  I'm talking, 
of course, about dogs and cats. 

Dogs and cats are, without a doubt, the most domesticated animals on
earth.  There are more dogs and cats kept as pets in the United States 
then there are people.  Both have a moderate amount of intelligence, 
and both show learned responses to humans. 

I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to see which animal has the
traits of a man, because it's easy to tell that dogs are small, furry 
men walking on four legs, and cats have an abundance of female 
characteristics. 

Let's start with the basics ... 

When a dog urinates, it has no shame.  A dog will hike its leg anywhere,
in front of anybody.  And dogs seem to love urinating in other dog's 
yards.  As you know, they're marking their spot, which is what men do 
in a public restroom.  We walk in, take a quick glace at all of the 
urinals, and determine which is ours ... and will remain ours for the 
time we're in the neighborhood. 

Cats urinate in private.  You rarely see a cat urinating. 

Men will take a leak with the bathroom door wide open; women lock the
door.  Dogs and cats. 

When it comes to food, dogs will usually eat everything in their bowl. 
If you leave the dog food bag open, they'll dig into that, too.  Cats 
will eat only what they need, and save the rest for later on.  Just 
like men and women.  Men will chow down and finish their plates first 
in hopes of being first in line for seconds.  Women will usually pick 
through their food, eating a little of this, a little of that. 

Dogs will also eat all of their food, and pester humans to give up what
they're eating, too.  They'll sit there, looking so hurt, as if to say 
“I just know I'll die if I don't get some of what you're eating”.  Cats 
don't mind eating off of human's plates; they just do it in a more 
clandestine nature 

Something just came to me ... when we eat in a restaurant, and we take
home any uneaten food, we call it a “doggie bag”.  Seems to me we 
should call it a “kitty bag”.  I'm sure kitty bag means something else 
to somebody, and I'd probably be embarrassed if I found out what it 
was. 

Dogs usually get along with other dogs.  If a strange dog walks into
another dog's territory, the home dog will wag his tail, and run over 
to say howdy.  Some sniffing is usually involved.  Dogs also have best 
friends.  There's usually a group of particular dogs that run around 
together.  They'll even invite their friends in to take a leak in their 
yard ... after all, they're friends.  Men bring their buddies over for 
the ball game, and fill them full of beer, knowing full well that 
they'll all be taking leaks in every bathroom in the house. 

Cats, on the other hand, remain cool when a stranger approaches. 
They'll stop what they're doing, raise their heads, and look as if to 
say “talk to the paw, because the face ain't listening”.  If a cat 
tries to urinate in another cat's yard, they'll hear about it.  When 
women have guests over, they make sure that all of their friends use 
the “good” bathroom.  Heaven forbid that anybody would use the bathroom 
downstairs. 

Dogs are traditionally dirty.  They don't give a hill of beans what mud
hole they've been in, what pile of dog doo they've stepped in, or in 
which dirty corner of the yard they've been playing.  It's all the same 


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