Called Your Name (standard:romance, 580 words)
Author: Sare	Added: Nov 25 2001	Views/Reads: 3546/1	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
"If you call, I will answer..."

I called your name in my sleep last night.  They said that I’d be lying
peacefully, and then a dream would come mumbling along across my lips 
and your name with it, clearly articulated.  I laughed in embarrassment 
when they told me this morning, because along with the telling came a 
spate of questions about who you were and why I dreamt about you so 
much?  I could only tell them that you were a friend and that I’d been 
thinking of you before I fell asleep.  That last part is true enough, 
at least. 

Laying there in the darkness, away from home for a rather unpleasant
purpose, my brother on a cot off to my right, my father and stepmother 
on my left in the next bed.  I lay there wishing and imagining that you 
were there with me, almost laughing at the absurdity of the idea.  In 
the arms of my secret lover I sleep across from my parents...ha, ha. 

At the church service I read a poem I had written.  Afterwards there was
a queue of little old ladies who wanted to tell me how wonderful it 
was, and they all wanted to know all about me - what was I studying at 
university?  How many years left?  How old was I?  I noticed them 
looking at and feeling my left hand.  No ring.  Did I have a boyfriend? 
many of them asked.  I said no. 

I felt myself blush a little inside at the conscious “lie”.  Well,
you’re not my boyfriend, exactly, are you?  Was I going to tell them 
about my cyber-lover, the man I’m head-over-heels in love with but have 
never laid eyes on, whose words have filled me with love, anger, 
sadness, desire, but whose voice I have never heard?  Whose fingers 
have touched me in such intimate ways, but whose arms haven’t yet 
enclosed me? 

I almost sound defensive now, but I don’t feel that way.  I would be
happy to tell them about you, about the stunning beauty of your words, 
your mind, your heart, about the fantabulous complexity of your spirit. 
 But it’s such a delicious secret to keep, it sends shoots of comfort 
to enwrap my heart and tingles of pleasure through my whole body.  I 
delight in the knowing of our secret.  I want to share your sunshine 
with the world, and yet I ache to clutch you to me and never let go; 
not for any person, not for any memory, not for any ocean will I let 
you go, until you no longer want to be held. 

We both have things to do, lives to live.  Only time will tell if we are
ships passing in the dark, or a pair of swans, to be together forever.  
Until that time comes I will wait.  I will wait for you to be ready, I 
will wait for the time to be right.  But do not imagine that I will 
wait quietly.  I called your name in my sleep last night.  Now I’m 
awake, and I’m calling it again. 

***** 

With all that I am, and all that I will be, I love you, my warrior. 

***** 

"I think it's getting to the point where I can be myself again; I think
it's getting to the point where we have almost made amends; I think 
it's the getting to the point that is the hardest part... and if you 
call, I will answer..."  Barenaked Ladies, "Call and Answer". 


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