AH WAS A-SNORIN WHEN THEY HUNG'D ME (standard:humor, 944 words)
Author: Danny Zil	Added: Jan 19 2013	Views/Reads: 2793/1972	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Corrected version.

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Judge asked if'n Ah had any regrets. Told him yeah. That Ah regretted
not havin no mustard sauce when Ah ate that last gal. He he he! Helluva 
commotion over that! 

Down in Death Row fer weeks Ah was. Just a-settin there afore they
finally had the balls t' hung me. 'Ventually the Priest came in so Ah 
knew the time was a-nearin. Then ma kin dropped by an Ah knew that was 
it. 

Here's a laugh fer ye tho. Ma last eatin. Told me Ah could have
anythins. So Ah asked fer steak. Nice fat juicy steak. Right off a fat 
juicy gal's ass! Guards were whoopin an hollerin when they heard that! 
Gave me steak anyhows. Off a fat juicy cow's ass. Still, least Ah had 
me some mustard sauce. 

Well like Ah said earlier, the hungin didn't hurt me none. How comes?
Cos Ah can fall dead asleep in three minutes flat. Lotsa folks timed me 
back at the shacks. Snorin Ah was in three. Bin doin it since Ah was a 
kid. 

So afores they put the hood on me Ah gives the Priest the big sob story.
Real good it was too! Ah needed five minutes t' talk with the Good Lord 
in private. Explain maself, like. Pray fer ma 'mortal soul. Beg His 
fergiveness. Fergiveness ma ass! 

They fell for it! Guard puts the hood on me an they gives me five
minutes. Three minutes later Ah'm asleep. A-softly snorin an a-snoozin 
like a babe. So Ah was a-snorin when they hung'd me! 

Know what? The sound o' that lever a-crashin an me a-droppin – hell,
didn't even wake me. 


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