ROGER'S FABULOUS VOYAGES, PART 2, CHAPTER 5. (standard:humor, 2156 words) [5/12] show all parts
Author: Danny Zil	Added: Jun 13 2012	Views/Reads: 2943/1651	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Roger meets Hub Cap who starts to show him round Uhuruland.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

“Shua,” Hub Cap replied. “I knows the bros. They won't mind us liss'nin
in.” 

They strolled over and Hub Cap saluted them. 

“Good day my man Raymond and my man Jimbo!” he called. 

“Hi Hub Cap. Hi Whitey,” replied Raymond. 

“This hea is Roga,” Hub Cap told them. “Mind if we lissen in?” 

“Shua,” said Raymond “That's what this sketch is for.” 

Raymond and Jimbo turned back to each other and continued bargaining. 

“So like Ah was sayin, Ah'll gives you three hundred for it,” said
Jimbo. 

Raymond shook his head. “You shua are shittin me, bro,” he said. “Ah'll
take seven.” 

Jimbo laughed. “Seven my ass! Four.” 

Raymond turned and looked at his hut then leaned against the ‘FOR SALE'
sign. “This a fine piece of work,” he told Jimbo. “Built it wit ma own 
hans. Ah'll take six.” 

“Five fifty.” 

“Five. An dats final.” 

Jimbo sighed and nodded. “Okay bro, you has a deal. Five it is.” 

Raymond grinned and he and Jimbo shook hands. Jimbo produced the money
and Raymond trousered it. He then turned to the tall wooden post which 
held the ‘FOR SALE' sign and started pulling it up. Jimbo helped and 
with a bit of effort, the post was freed from the ground. 

“Sure is a beauty,” Jimbo said, admiring the post and sign. 

Raymond nodded agreement. “Shua is. Five hundred a fair price for it.
Took me weeks to make it.” 

Roger turned to Hub Cap, mouth open. “But I thought they were selling
the hut!?” 

Hub Cap just grinned. 

“So what you needin the sign for anyways, Jimbo?” Raymond asked. “What
you sellin?” 

“Elvira,” Jimbo replied. 

“Elvira!? You sellin Elvira!?” Raymond said, amazed. 

Jimbo nodded. 

Raymond whistled. “Man, that Elvira got some lovely titties on her.” 

“Lovely big titties,” Jimbo added. 

Raymond nodded in agreement. “Yeah, they sure is.” 

“I just love runnin ma hans round them big titties,” Jimbo went on. 

“Mmmmhhhh!” agreed Raymond. 

Hub Cap laughed. Remembering his recent episode with Amanda's balloons,
Roger flushed. 

“So what in the hell you sellin Elvira for, man?” Raymond asked. 

“Well she started shittin all ova ma ganja patch,” Jimbo told him. 

“Yeah?” 

Jimbo nodded. “Her an them otha goats. Hell if they ain't shittin in it,
theys eatin it!” 

Raymond and Hub Cap laughed. Since Roger didn't know what ganja was, he
didn't. 

“Hell, them goats just lyin round stoned,” Jimbo went on. “Elvira ain't
eatin no grass. Her big titties flatter than a spaniel's ears. Ain't 
producing no milk. Man, Ah loves dat goat's milk!” 

“Yeah, it real nice,” Raymond agreed. “You ever try it?” he asked Roger.


“Ah no, can't say I have.” 

“You drop by ma place then, bro,” Jimbo told him. “Got me some stored.” 

“Why thank you,” Roger said. 

Jimbo grinned, picked up his ‘FOR SALE' sign and strolled off. 

“Catch y'all lata,” Hub Cap said to Raymond. 

Raymond waved and turned back towards his hut as Roger and Hub Cap
strolled on. 

“We gots us a school up hea,” Hub Cap told Roger. “Maybe y'all likes to
check it out?” 

“Why certainly,” Roger replied, hoping he's said the right thing, as he
hadn't fully understood what Hub Cap had meant. 

As they wandered on, Roger glanced back. Raymond came out of his hut
with another ‘FOR SALE' sign, walked over and planted it in the hole 
where the first sign had been then sauntered back into his hut. 

“Down hea, this is whea the school is,” Hub Cap said, indicating a path
which led away from the huts and into the forest on the other side. 

As they strolled down the path they could hear children chanting some
lessons and soon they came to a clearing where the school had been 
built. 

The school was another simple half-open round hut with some desks and
chairs in front of it. The class of eleven ten year olds or ten eleven 
year olds were seated before an attractive young teacher and a large 
sign on the round hut said ‘SPEECH DEFECTS – CORRECTION CLASS'. 

“So all of these children have a speech defect?” Roger asked. 

“You gots it, bro,” Hub Cap replied. “Let's lissen to what teacha's
teachin em.” 

“Okay,” Roger agreed, grinning. 

“Tidy piece of ass, the teacha,” Hub Cap remarked waving at her. 

Teacha smiled coyly and waved back. She was indeed, as Hub Cap had
noted, a tidy piece of ass. Her straight brown hair framed a small but 
perky face. A tight gold t-shirt clung to her small but perky breasts. 
A tight black mini skirt clung to her small but perky legs. 

She turned back to the class. “Now repeat after me,” she said, “I puck,
you puck, he she it pucks!” 

“I puck, you puck, he she it pucks!” chanted the class. 

“Good. Very good,” Teacha praised. 

“I certainly wouldn't mind pucking you!” Hub Cap muttered. 

Roger, understandably, frowned. 

Hub Cap held up his hand. “Hey Teacha, minds if I sees you home afta
class?” 

The children giggled. 

Teacha smiled and nodded and carried on with the lesson. “Now class
repeat – Hey mothapucka, go puck youself!” 

“Hey mothapucka, go puck youself!” chanted the class. 

“...go fuck youself!” a lone voice yelled, out of sync. 

As one, the class drew in their breath. 

“Who said that?” asked Teacha. “Who say ‘fuck' instead of ‘puck'?” 

“It was Horace!” a small female grass volunteered. 

“Horace, come to front of class. 

As Teacha gave Horace a lecture, Roger turned to Hub Cap. “I say, I
thought the purpose of this class was to correct speech defects,” the 
astute one said. “These children don't seem to have any.” 

“Na. You gots it wrong, man,” Hub Cap explained. “This is to give the
kids speech defects. Lots of us culurd folks got speech defects. Aint's 
you noticed?” 

Roger shrugged. “Well...sort of,” he muttered, not wishing to insult the
chap who had kindly offered to save him from execution. 

After Horace was suitably chastised, Teacha announced that the class was
over. A shrill cacophony of totally unnecessary noise immediately arose 
from the delighted children and they dashed off back towards the 
village. 

Hub Cap grinned. “Got me some business to attends to,” he muttered to
Roger. “You wait hea for me.” He grinned again and strolled up to 
Teacha. 

He did a little dance round her, she laughed and arm in arm, they
strolled off. 

Roger sighed then strolled round the empty classroom and sat at one of
the chairs. “How ridiculous,” he muttered. “Actually giving children 
speech defects...'Hey mothapucka, go puck youself!'” he mimicked then 
shook his head. 

“Psst! Psst! Psst!” a female voice psst'd. 

Roger stood up and glanced round. 

“Psst!” she psst'd again. 

Then he saw her. Leaning out from behind a tree. Beckoning. She stepped
out a little and Roger could see she was partially naked. She stepped 
out further and Roger could see she was completely naked...apart from a 
silly pair of flat black shoes. Roger generously forgave this fashion 
blunder and concentrated on the rest of her. 

Thick lustrous black hair fell to her shoulders. Two magnificent tits
pointed dark inviting nipples at him. The sunlight trickled 
tantalisingly down a flat brown belly into an exquisite shaved quim. 

Instantly, Roger felt something stirring in his trousers. He glanced
down but it was one of the schoolchildren going through his pockets. 

“Shoo! Shoo! Get away!” Roger ordered and the child scarpered. 

Roger stared at the nude beauty again. She was rather fabulous. 

Nudey beckoned to him again. “You like give me puck?” she asked
seductively. “Good...hard...puck?” 

Roger swallowed. Remembering the lesson the children had just received,
he mumbled a translation to himself...”You like give me good hard 
f---!” 

Instantly, Roger felt something stirring in his trousers. He glanced
down quickly lest the young pickpocket had returned but the stirring 
was himself starting to tent. 

Beauty saw the beast. Nudey grinned and turned back into the forest.
Roger eagerly followed. Nudey moved easily through the lush forest and 
the sunlight dappled on her smooth velvet skin. Roger couldn't take his 
eyes off her ass. The sexy way it rippled and quivered as she walked. 
But Nudey let go the rope and the animal wandered off. 

She turned and beckoned again. “Come, I need good hard puck. Can you
give me puck?” she asked throatily 

Roger nodded eagerly. She strolled on. Roger and his expanding tent
followed. 

Somewhere ahead Roger could hear the low hum of a generator and
immediately he imagined air-conditioning. An air-conditioned hut where 
he and Nudey would have a good hard puck. His tenting increased. 

Nudey turned and smiled at him again then parted some bushes and went
through. Roger followed and frowned at what he saw. Ice. A small ice 
pitch with a small set of goals at one end. The humming emanated from 
an ice machine. 

Nudey bent and picked up two ice hockey sticks and handed one to Roger.
Then a small round black object. 

“Puck,” she told him. “For ice hockey.” She slid off on her flat black
shoes. “Give me puck. I need good hard puck!” she yelled. 

Roger stared disbelievingly at the puck. The realisation that he wasn't
going to get pucked suddenly dawned and his tent began deflating. 
Rapidly. 

“Give me puck!” Nudey called. 

Roger dropped it to the ice, swung his stick and angrily whacked it
across to her. 

She trapped it expertly with her stick and slid towards the goal. In a
mixture of beautifully wobbling tits, jiggling arse and sun-kissed 
thighs, she whacked the puck into the back of the net. 

“I score! I score!” she yelled, jumping for joy. 

“I don't!” muttered a disconsolate Roger. 

Nudey retrieved the puck and hit it back to him. “Give me puck again!”
she called. 

Roger threw down his stick. “Oh...puck off!” he muttered and turned back
into the forest. 


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