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Some Short Stories... (standard:Creative non-fiction, 35261 words) | |||
Author: The St. John Lady | Added: Nov 24 2010 | Views/Reads: 4633/3923 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
After taking a creative writing course, I thought I would add them here. Some are from the actual course, others are ones I have had hanging about for ages. | |||
Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story in front of me. And as the trip we had planned continued, we travelled down the Grand Canal; passing under the famous Rialto Bridge... which should never be walked over in crocks or slippy-bottomed shoes! The highlight for me was getting lost, which may surprise you; but totally something I would recommend. Usually getting lost would be trouble some and problematic, but then usually you would not get to see a hidden gem of Venice; even if only in my eyes! As we came across this tiny Church which was nothing like the splendour of St. Mark's, but just as beautiful; for inside was a fresco of the Last Supper that captivated me... of course it helped that I had been reading The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown earlier! But I think the one place that has captivated me the most is of course New York City, without doubt one of the most amazing Cities in the world; it is always going to be a place you will never forget once you go there... no matter how hard you try, it will always be in your soul. A City of extremes, where you can see such devastation at the site of Ground Zero to the surprising tranquillity of the top of the Empire State Building; a place to forget and remember. To see the names and faces of many of the fallen gave me goose bumps, to know of the stories; to know that my Aunt had a building closer than anyone of us would like to Ground Zero will haunt me forever. But then to know of the beauty that surrounds you as you watch the sun going down over the Manhattan skyline, one of the most famous ones in the world; is breathtaking. Nothing could have prepared me for the silence and bright twinkling lights around me, the words “wow!” leaving my lips many times that trip... Big City Lights Don't Bother Me. “Spare some change guv'?” He hoarsely asked, not really looking up as the sea of faceless corporate suites passed by; oblivious to him and his plight. No one saw or cared, this dirty dishevelled man could have been a father, a husband, a brother, or a son; but none of them cared. He was someone though, he had been someone. A father and husband, a brother and son. None of those faceless suites saw that, none of them cared about where he had come from or how he ended up to be here; sleeping rough on the mean streets of London. The City light shone brightly and these streets were paved with gold, or so they say. All he saw now was what it had taken from him, what it had turned him into. Those big City lights that once held promise and hope, now held fear and uncertainty; it was most defiantly not a happy place for him. “Here...” Said the deep but kind voice from above, as he felt the bag land into his lap. “Thank you.” He replied, puzzled and perplexed not just by the bag; but who had thrown it. “No problem, I was like you...” The stranger answered, turning to leave; hoping his gift would help. Inside the bag were four, maybe five bundles of tightly bound £20 notes. Coming from a banking background, he knew exactly how much was in the bundles; fifty grand easily. As his mind did the mental arithmetic's, he knew someone was looking down on him; but of course after all he had been through he could not understand. “Hey, wait...” He called after the stranger, who smiled before turning around. For the first time both were able to study the other, taking in all that they saw. Tony saw a lot of himself in the person sat before him, Ray saw the man he used to be before the crash hit. Ray was dirty and grubby; being homeless did that for a person. His clothes were close to hanging off him, and his shoes had worn right down to nothing; it was true he was not a nice sight anymore. Tony on the other hand was dressed immaculately in his 3-piece suit, umbrella and briefcase only adding to the image of a banker or lawyer; Ray thought. Tony was clean-shaven and smartly turned out, the dark navy pinstripes a clear sign that this was a man with somewhere to go; indeed he was someone. Ray on the other hand, had nowhere to go and no real reason anymore to be someone. But still Tony knew that this man could be someone once more, after all; that was how he had been. “I don't know what to say...” Ray began, stuttering and stammering slightly. “I used to be a banker before the crisis hit, lost everything thanks to it...” Ray went on; aware he could never repay Tony's kindness. “Don't worry about it, now you can be something again...” Tony smiled, nodding his head before turning to leave. “Give her a call, she'll be worried...” He added, smiling at the fact he knew this time would be different. Doris and Iris. Doris and Iris must have been coming to this same spot for the past thirty years. Neither had known each other before, but both had much in common; although neither would find out until much later. Both had spent many a day seeing the other grow and develop. “Of course it was all different in our day...” Iris said, looking at the punch of pink roses in their soft green tissue paper. “I know dear, the youngsters would have had more respect...” Doris replied thoughtfully, trying to hide the smirk on her lips from forming. “In our day kids would have got married before they had children...” Doris continued, not realising the irony in her words. “I know, Fred used to say much the same thing...” Iris added, pausing so that Doris could finally grasp what she had said. As the cogs whirred and it all finally fell into place, Doris could not help but blush as she thought of all the years; fifty to be exact; that she had spent with Fred. “Ahh, who would have thought it hey...” Doris finally felt able to say, allowing a small smile to escape as they both studied the headstone in front of them. For a long moment both women paused to take in their surroundings, sitting on the same well-worn wooden park bench neither woman felt the need for any more words. The sun was beginning to peak through the dark clouds that had been present for the best part of the morning, it may have been spring but it certainly did not feel like it; more like winter. The grass was covered in a fine film of dew, giving their surroundings a somewhat fitting look. The grave both women sat by was clearly well cared for, both Doris and Iris had spent days clearing and cleaning the plain looking marble. As was their way, both Doris and Iris had their own thoughts and memories of Fred; both kept their thoughts to themselves – it was like their own little ritual that neither wanted to break. Both women sighed deeply, realising that this could very well be their last day here. Of course, neither would admit it to themselves let alone each other. “Until next time Fred...” Iris began, as she slowly got to her feet; after all these years the aches and pains caught up with her some days. “Bye Fred, until next week...” Doris said as she too slowly rose, her own arthritis was getting worse; she did not know how much longer she could manage this trip. “Until next week Doris...” “See you next week Iris...” Unknown Title. The cold biting wind swirled around my face, it was little surprise as this time of year was always cold; but each year seemed to be getting colder and colder. Having said that, it was clearly nothing in comparison to what those brave men and women went through; they clearly had it tough. Each year was the same every since I first joined St. John, each year I would gladly; willingly give up one of my Sunday mornings in early November to pay my respect, my homage to the fallen. And I was not the only "young 'un" who did this, many of my friends and colleagues felt the same; this was not just part of "our duty..." we believed this was our way to show the proper respect and thanks to those heroes. Of course mixed in with us "young 'uns" was the smattering of our older members many of whom had been directly involved with WWII, but then with such an major moment in time and history it was hard to find someone that had NOT been affected by such a cataclysmic event. Yes it was true, even the Great War to end all wars did not stop this from happening again. My Mum always said that we never learned from our past mistakes, and she was right; it was history repeating itself. All those lives lost in the first world war taught us nothing, we went and did it again; and again; and again... Would we ever learn? But our brave fighting men and women will tell you that it is their job and they are there to serve, to protect our lands. And while it is true, it still should not detract from the fact all those souls were lost. No matter how much I tried I could not get away from the fact, young men (and women) were dying for me and my freedom. Men younger than me, men that had lied about their ages to willingly join up and volunteer to serve their Country. The courage and sacrifice those brave heroes showed should never be forgotten, each and every one of us owe those men (and women) such a huge debt of gratitude. When asked why I bother standing in the freezing cold on a Sunday in November, I simply reply: For our today, they gave their tomorrow. Only a Kid. “It doesn't have to be from your childhood...” Jade said, “It's still a toughie...” I thought to myself. I either find I have too many memories or not enough. And let's face it, not all of them are good ones! This course is indeed great therapy for me, but is in danger of becoming an “emotional trip.” The last thing I want is to bring everyone else down with my “black cloud” moments, I am always too aware that I do that now. Anyways, back to the plot; my childhood was alright I guess... apart from the being forced to eat brussles thingy. My school days were not the best in the world; but I guess bullying does that for you really. My teen age years were spent in and out of jobs, and it is fair to say I was not a “normal young ‘un” was an understatement. No late nights out getting drunk and unruly, no trouble brought to my families door. No police phone calls asking for bail or help, no getting stoned out of my brain for me; no string of little kids following me around and calling me Mummy... yes people I was indeed that good girl. Though I can assure you all I was not perfect, but then that would not surprise you really. I have been the cause of most of my parents grey hairs, and probably the cause of their bad health too... well; so they tell me anyway. How on earth I managed to stay alive, let alone safe is beyond me. I was (and always have been) a friendly person, I would (and still do) talk to anyone. So how I managed to not be abducted is a miracle, though some days I know my folks wish I had been ~ I am a nightmare! I was not really bad, more a pain in the butt. I have one of those “can drop it” natures; I just have to have the last word in an argument. Though I rarely argue with friends, it is always my folks; I know that bothers them a lot. Anyways, my 20's were spent much the same as my teens, though now I began to go out more; maybe I am getting my life the wrong way round? The more others in the group talked, the more I was able to remember bits about my childhood and growing up... things I had forgotten, maybe that is a sign I am getting old? I remember fondly the little blue and white trike that stayed at my Granddad's in Earl Street, he lived just down the road from the shoe factory that is now the Charles Bradlaugh pub. I was always told to never go father than the factory and the corner of Robert Street, and as a good girl I never did. Taking a slight tangent here, I can remember that every time I walked past the factory I would shout “hello” through the open window; always being greeted by a hearty “hello” back. It was always the same bloke that shouted back; or seemed to be anyways. It also seemed a different age when people would not ignore their neighbours, when there was a sense of community and people were not afraid of speaking to youngsters. I heard Richard speak of television programmes, some even I had heard of; but it also allowed me to remember those classics (well they were to me) that I loved and enjoyed. Oh the times I sat with Mum during lunch watching Bagpuss, Dangermouse, (a favourite of Mum's) Count Duckula, (Mum does a cracking impression of Nanny) Button Moon, and many others... Of course we cannot let this go without mentioning Newsround or indeed Blue Peter; how I wish I had a Blue Peter badge, almost worth trading in my Service Medal from St. John for one of them! As I think about it now, there are so many memories that it would take me forever to write them all down. But maybe that is the point in a way isn't it? A reminder of days gone by, when everything just seemed easier and better. Mind you though, it may have something to do with the fact I was only a kid. Robbie and Scamp. He could not explain it but he wanted to cry, his tears already close to falling. “Come on Scamp, lets go...” He said to the little scruffy ball of fluff, the beige hairy mongrel looked up to his young master; cocking his head slightly as if he understood every word little Robert said. Sniffing hard and wiping his eyes coarsely, Robert took his woolly black scarf and placed it around his neck as he took one last look around the room he was standing in. Normally he would be rushing through the kitchen on his way to his room after school of out the backdoor to go play with Scamp or his friends, but not today; today was different. For the most part he was like most normal eight year olds, but he had seen more than any young kid should see; many times his only escape was his imagination and Scamp his faithful companion. The room was warm, he knew it was going to be cold outside; he could not help but wish he had eaten earlier. Looking around the room, Robert took more notice than ever of the room he had always seemed to take for granted. The cabinets and cupboards were all pine; the white goods were just that, white. No black, silver or red refrigerators here. The net curtains were whiter than white, a clear sign that his Mother was always house proud. The kitchen table with its beautiful clean cloth was unusually round, the chairs sturdy enough to climb upon; smiling Robert remembered the many times he had tested that theory. Sighing deeply Robert knew that life was full of “ifs” and “buts,” there was nothing more that he could do. Filling his knapsack with as much food as he could for himself and Scamp, Robert took one last look as he pulled on his thick scruffy old grey duffle coat; taking Scamps lead he placed it around his faithful companions neck. As they both left, Robert could not help but allow his tears to fall; sobbing uncontrollably until they had to stop. He had no idea where they were until he heard the hum of the motorcars passing by; looking out over the dual carriageway, both must have looked a right state. It had started to rain heavily as soon as they had both left home, and it did not look like it was about to give up either. “They never cared about us Scamp; it was for the best we left...” Robert said, hoping to convince Scamp; but knowing it was himself he needed to convince. Tears still threatened to fall, both had left the only home either had every known; goodness only knows who would have them now. Now completely drenched though to the bone, both stood looking hopelessly out towards the dual carriageway. “Well, we are on our own now Scamp...” Robert said, trying to make matters sound more positive than they were. As the car drew up, Robert's mind was filled with the stark warnings from his dear Mother; gripping the lead tightly in his little cold hand as the window was wound down. “Get in the car wee Robbie...” The kindly female voice said, unlocking the passenger side door. “You pair will catch your death of cold...” She continued, looking first to one and then the other. “Aww Mum...” Robert began to protest, but Scamp just jumped into the passenger seat first before jumping onto the back seat. Sighing deeply Robert followed suit, unable to express his relief but knowing it was part of the recovery. Tony Leaves it Alone. For more years than he cared to remember this was something he had wanted, as daft as it may sound; and as wrong as it may be ~ this is where he wanted to be. He knew most people would not understand his feelings for this beautiful little girl, especially seeing as he was not her father. But he did feel something for her, he did love this girl like a real father; better than her own did certainly. Yes Tony might not be her real father, but he treated as such; and maybe this was the problem. When he had first met her Mother sparks had flown, but not in a good way. Both hated each other at first, neither trusting the other. And then late one night, after one longer than normal meeting; Tony took Mel (her Mother) home. He was not prepared to meet Meggie, nor was he prepared for the overwhelming rush of emotions he felt. To say he had never been paternal was an understatement; he had the reputation he had for a reason! But nothing could have readied him for what he felt as he was introduced to Meggie, as soon as their eyes locked both knew that theirs was a special bond that nobody would ever break. Very quickly Tony found himself sat upon the floor in the middle of a game of dress up, being quickly captivated by Meggie's beautiful brown eyes. From that moment onwards both had become inseparable, often being found in each other's company. Every birthday, every Christmas, every holiday; he was always there with her to celebrate in her joy. And when she had heartaches he was also there, always the father figure; always ready with a warm hug and soothing word for little Meggie. In turn, she gave him a reason to get up in the morning. For far too long he had been resigned to the fact he would always be alone, never to have the family he now clearly desired; but now those days seemed to be in the past, that's why he never saw that day coming. It was a cold November day just like any other, after being suspended Tony had found himself many jobs that needed doing. Of course much of this was to keep his mind busy, not willing to allow himself the time to think of how he had been treated. But in truth it was all he wanted to think about, all that occupied his mind as he watched Meggie playing on the swing in his backyard. “They'll see that they are wrong, you'll be cleared...” Mel began, realising that her friend needed all the positive vibes he could get. “They'll just take what she said and hang me for it...” Tony replied, his voice distant as he sighed deeply. Weakly pushing the leaves that had freshly fallen on the ground, Tony really felt like his life was over; losing his job was one thing but losing her and Meggie was another. “But you are innocent Tony!” Mel exclaimed, wanting the man she had grown to love to fight back. “It won't matter will it, they want my head on a plate; I am done...” He snapped back, not meaning to; after all she had been the rock to which he had clung over the past few months. “Then make it matter...” Mel sighed, she had become tired of always being the one to try work for this; she wanted ~ needed him to take the lead this once. “Uncle Tony, come and play...” Her voice was full of an innocence that he could never fail to find infectious, and now more than ever he needed her; in truth he needed them both. “In a minute sweetheart, I have to clear the leaves up...” Tony softly answers; with a smile that he knew would never reach his lips. “If not for me Tony, for that little girl...” Mel whispered into his ear, softly stroking his back as she tried to make him see things clearly. “We need you around...” She added, smiling softly as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Finally Tony realised what he should have seen clearly from day one, he would never be alone while Meggie was in his life. Smiling towards Mel, he also saw the love in her brown eyes shining through. Nodding slightly, Tony turned his attention back to the now fully swept yard; looking to the pile of leaves he had just finished sweeping. “Now Uncle Tony?” He heard her voice calling him, but was too slow to stop her; not that he really minded in truth. Moments later he saw all his hard work going to the dogs as Meggie almost threw herself into the waiting pile of leaves right in front of him, giggling with laughter as she did so. Quickly Mel was joining her daughter in the pile of leaves, laughing and smiling to Tony; who to be fair just stood there looking at the mess they were creating. Sighing deeply he felt he had no choice, dropping the brush to the ground; Tony threw himself into the middle of the pile and joined in the fun. This would not be the last time he would be distracted, and each time he would swear it would never happen again; of course it always would. The Clock. “Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock...” That is all he heard, that was all that went through his mind as he sat waiting. For such an active man this waiting was agony, by nature he had always had an active life. He was so full of life, something that would often resemble Tigger from Winnie the Pooh. But here he sat in the Doctors waiting room, worrying about the news he was dreading. He had already convinced himself that it was bad, already resigned himself to the fact this fabulous journey of his was about to be over. He felt like this was his judgement day, he had been far too lucky in not only his career; but also his life. At nearly 50 years old his footballing career should have been over by the age of 35, 37 at the latest. But he of course had been overly lucky, one of the greats they say; but right now he felt anything but great. He felt old, and past it. Worried that his playing days would be over, but also worried that he would never find anything else to fill his time. His mind was racing, had been since he walked into the waiting room. Everything in his life came to this moment, to this time; it was make or break... “Mr. Matthews?” The Doctor called, not really looking up; but clearly aware of whose notes he had in front of him. Sighing deeply, Stanley got up slowly; trying to not show signs of age and headed into the Doctors room. “Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock...” She Was a Showgirl. Downtown New York City in the 1950's, some broad is sitting in some backstreet gin joint; with an air of mystery about her. She wore a yellow feather in her hair and a low cut dress, man it was right up to her... well, you get the picture anyway. Of course anyone could tell that she was a showgirl, the garish make up a dead giveaway. To most people this would sound like a tragic love story, to us hard New Yorkers it is more a way of life; having seen it all. But allow me to tell you of a time when good guys didn't always win, bad guys got away with it; and the girl never got her happy ending... Her name was Lola; she was a showgirl with yellow feathers in her hair, and her dress cut down to there. Her life was not an easy one, working 8 in the evening until 4 in the morning. The pay wasn't that great, and believe me when I tell you she had a lot of crap to deal with. But then there was Tony, a young and handsome bar tender who took a shine to Lola the very first moment they met; it was clear for all to see that they were young and they had each other ~ well, who could ask for more. Well, one night as Tony tended the bar and Lola dance this guy; Rico walked in. now Rico was bad news, local mobster and one guy you certainly did not want to get on the wrong side of. You could tell he was someone from the diamond ring he wore to the smartest of suits he also had on, this dude was somebody; and what he wanted he always got. But Lola wanted Tony, and Tony wanted Lola; pity nobody told Rico that. He saw Lola dancing, and wanted her; calling her over after she had finished dancing. With Tony keeping a watchful eye over Lola, you'd think everything would end for the best ~ but of course that's not how it happened. Rico went a bit too far, Tony sailed across the bar. Punches flew, chairs were smashed in two; the whole works came out that night. Sadly there was blood in a single gun shot, but no one ever knew just who shot who... Well, as you can imagine all that music and passion; the finding and loosing her love, all did something to Lola. Affecting her deeply, scaring her for life. As I said before, good guys don't always win, bad guys often get away with it; and the girl doesn't always get her happy ever after... But her name is Lola, she was a showgirl; but that was thirty years ago when they used to have a show. Now it's a disco, but not for Lola. Still in that dress she used to wear, faded feathers in her hair. She'll sit there so refined, drinking herself half blind. All she thinks about is loosing her youth and her Tony, but now she's lost her mind too. That's the Copa for you, the Copacabana; don't fall in love! I Want... I want a man that sparkles! Not the vampire kind, But the kind who sparkle when you see them. What we old-fashioned ladies call Having a “glint” or “twinkle” in their eye. The kind that makes you go weak at the knees. Or the kind that send you all “girly.” The type of guy that gives you butterflies, Deep down inside. The kind that give you goose pimples when they smile at you. The one that makes YOU sparkle! Now that is the kind of man I want... Untitled Rage. Caged Fury. Painful Hurt. I am hurt. I am angry. I am lost and I am lonely. I want help finding my way. Need help finding my way! Here I sit this nice, kind, caring person. With heart of gold and friendly nature. I give all to everyone, and rarely get anything back. But still I don't mind, still I give all that I have. No ulterior motives, no underlying reasons. Just because... But now the hurt and pain are rife. Now my heart is dying inside. I am filled with a rage and anger I have never felt before. Ready to explode with a violent fury. The likes of which I have never seen or felt before. How did this happen and when did it change? Is this really me and how my life has changed? I feel wounded now and want to cry. I long for the time when my tears no longer fall. I long for the day when I don't wake up wishing I were dead. Oh how I long for that day; and the day when I don't have to fight. My emotions are no longer my own. Were they ever mine in the first place? One moment I can be up; happy and glad. The next I am down; angry and sad. Will I ever be free, will the pain ever stop? How can I fix these feelings inside of me? Will it really take my death for them to see; That all I ever need to be was me? Just Like That... His cold piercing blue eyes are what I first noticed; as soon as the lift doors closed I felt the chill in the air. For some unknown reason I could just tell that something was wrong, it was as if his most famous (or should that be infamous?) character was coming to life right in front of me. He was no longer Sir Anthony Hopkins, he was Hannibal Lecter; and he was in the same lift as me... and we were alone! As soon as I felt the lift jolt and judder to a sudden stop, the lump formed in the back of my throat. Turning towards me there is a look of emotionless coldness in his eyes as he slowly stalked towards me, I felt the chill running down my spine. Here was one of the scariest men you could ever wish to meet, and he was stood in front of me; looking about as intimidating as he was making me feel. I cannot help be intimidated not just by his presence but also the fact that I was in a broken down stationary lift with a man that could, quite literally eat me alive! The fear and panic had already set in by the time he had moved closer still, leaning upon the side of the lift; trapping me in the corner. Swallowing hard trying to rid myself of the lump in my throat, I can already feel myself shrinking into myself; I can just tell that the end is neigh for me. Sensing this, his years of acting and life told him as much; this was the moment everything changed. His cold eyes quickly became the softest bright blue eyes, and there was this shyness that I was not expecting too. His smile is light and I can see the softness shine through, as I smile back I cannot help but feel this girly flutter deep inside of me. Moving slightly he leans closer still to me, the words not needed yet. Even though we had not spoken yet, neither of us felt the need to; the atmosphere between us seemed to be relaxed and comfortable. The mood was light; the feeling around us seemed to just feel right, surely this was one of them moments? You know the ones, those moments that you read about in books and saw in movies. The moments where the handsome hero sweeps his leading lady off of her feet and they ride off into the sunset, of course this was not going to be the case for me; it never was! But there was something about this moment, something that I just could not explain or put my finger upon. Within an instant his hands assumed the position, his shoulders slightly hunched upwards. Before I had the chance to say anything or even question him, he spoke. “On the other hand...” He began, his soft Welsh accent showing through as he did the voice I could easily place. “I have different fingers...” He continued, holding his hand up, chuckling in the same way as the man who was clearly his idol would have done. Looking up through his eyelashes with his blue eyes, the smile in them obvious. As he laughed the same laugh his idol would, it not only made me smile and chuckle too; but also broke the ice between us. Which of course helped the fact that we were trapped in this lift together, as the comfortable silence was threatening to return he continued with the jokes. “Here's a little trick I picked up...” He said as he held out his hands, as if he was about to actually show me a trick. “Dunno who dropped it though!” His words resonating throughout the lift, the laughter quickly following. As he moved even closer still, he was within touching distance; his arm softly but barely brushing against my own. At that the lift shuddered to and jolted back to life, he looked me deep in the eyes; as if he was searching my soul for a sign. Before he had the chance to say anything, as the lift began to move I smile and reply; “Just like that...” Blindfolds at the Ready... Hard to say what I feel as I slip the blindfold on and await instruction, my mind is always racing; filled with everything from Mr. Sparkles to my complicated life. “Write what comes to mind...” is the first instruction, we are also given the choice to either just go for what came into our heads or using an object Jade gave us... I of course chose the object. I can tell you though I felt silly sitting in a room full of people with a blindfold on, even though everyone (but the tutor) had one on too! The blindfold usually being reserved for “those” meetings!! However, the less said about them the better!!! It smells musty and old, like it has been around forever. It feels cold and wooden, sturdy but also at the same time brittle. It feels about twelve inches long, by touch alone I could tell what it was; a fan of course. However, without my eyes; I cannot see the colour of the actual fan or indeed the picture adorned upon its wafer thin paper. I can only imagine what it shows, is it like my own with the Spanish theme; or is it something oriental? I imagine it has something pretty on the front, a scene or animals; all highly coloured and detailed. In my eyes the fan is an item you use for the memories it brings you, not to actually keep cool. Maybe that is the idea with many of the things (or “junk” as my folks like to call it) I keep; they are reminders of my past; what was and what could have been? Fill Your Paper with the Breathings of Your Heart... A hat box with red roses on that is beige and pink in colour; somehow it just seems to match and go together ~ bit like me really I guess... The box itself makes me think of my Mum and how much she'd love the chance to use this; and of course the beautiful hat which surely was inside at some point, now of course it is just a box... But that isn't strictly true, is has become something more than just an "empty box." It has been filled with all manner of things; each has its own story to it, each a reminder of a past I shall never forget. There is a thimble that leads me to my Aunt in New Zealand, Sandra. She loves collecting them, and has loads. Her son is getting married next year; (2011) gosh how we would all like to be there to see that. I am sure my folks will manage to go, as to me? Well, who knows! There are, of course the obvious pictures of faces from my past (and my present) and the newspaper clippings I just cannot part with, things that remind me of happier times; and some sad ones too... still now, it hurts to see the clippings about his funeral; losing Mr. Northampton has scared me deeply. There are train tickets from those lovely days spent in London with that guy who shall remain nameless; which is a rather long name by the way! Now all I need to go with said train tickets are those tickets for them shows he kept promising me we'd go see! There's a little stick on furry penguin, a reminder of those Raflatac stickers my folks used to use at their previous company; a penguin was the logo... made a great talking point. Especially when I was able to use them on that little enterprise I had going on, what was it called now? Oh yeah; SMART Merchandise... Gosh how daft? But the idea was good, paper/stationary packs and smelly packs... A gift box; well, basket of toiletries ~ all wrapped and presented with a Raflatac sticker on the top. And the paper packs were cool, even if I do say so myself... but they were nothing compared to the paperweights! Now they WERE class!! I must get round to doing some more of them!!! The fan that reminds me of my travels to Spain, certainly a much more carefree time. The black sand a reminder of the time in one of the Islands, the pebble from a beach somewhere in Portugal; the small tile from my time in Italy... gosh, so many memories, I just could not fit them all in! There is that Danish flag, to remind me of what I lost and my time in wonderful Denmark, an old badge in silver from St. John Ambulance; when we still had the zoo on there!! Dang, I even had that silly mic cover from the council chamber in here; best not tell Paul about that one! Of course my little Knight makes it into my box, how could he not? Maybe it is purely the St. John thing, or maybe it is that I wish I had a Knight in shining armour; but he has to be there! And the last thing to go in there will be a bit of string with a noose on the end of it... Of course I know what it means, and what it could tell anyone that looks at the contents on my "Keep Sake Box." But I need to keep it in here, I need to have that reminder; so I will never forget nearly losing everything... After all; until we know where we've been how can we know where we are going? Airplanes. There is this dream I have about you; maybe I could use a wish right now! We had spent the day together in London, shopping; talking and enjoying each others company. We would then have the same wonderful time in our little club, and as was usual; dinner afterwards. But instead of leaving each other at the end of our evening together, you would take me back to yours for the night; asking me to stay with you. Of course I would say yes, but of course I would feel nervous; something I had wanted for so long that I could now feel and actually experience. I would climb into bed and snuggle down beside you, enjoying the feeling of lying next to you; of just being there with you. We wouldn't need to talk much, you never seem that talkative anyway; but just to know I was there with you would mean everything to me. And the best part of the dream? Unlike every other time, you would still be there next morning when I woke up! Your arms would still be around me and I would be able to know that once (just once) today was going to be a good day! No More Santa? Waking up this morning to that text message was not exactly the best start to the morning. To find that Mr. Northampton had left us was agony. There are a million and one things I would like to say, I would tell everyone what a total gent you were. Or how you always could make me blush whenever you told anyone that would listen how nice I was! I would tell them how you could always be counted upon, and how you had so many stories to tell. I will never forget the one about the snakebite and the first aider... only glad that was not me! What will the town do for a Santa now? M&S will be lost without you, so will the Cobblers! Every match will be empty now, no cheerful greeting at the top of the stairs for me to look forward to. What will Thomas do for his Fat Controller now? I would have loved to take my little Goddaughter to see you, she would have had a blast... you too I am sure. If I had one last chance to say goodbye, I would make it last forever. If I had the chance to see you at the top of the stairs at the Cobblers, I would hug you forever. I would make ever second count, knowing that those moments would have to last me forever. I am glad I got to give you your birthday card and gift, I am thankful I got to speak to you before you left us. With regret, the proudest day of my life will never be the same again; purely because you will not be there to celebrate with me. On Wed 24th June 2009 I shall be in St. Peter's Church to receive my long service medal with St. John, it will be the day I have looked forward to since I first joined St. John. My heart will be breaking as I am presented with it, I know you will be looking down on me with pride; but it still will not change the fact I wish you were there with me. Thank you for always being there, for being the perfect gent and for being my Knight in shining armour. My town has just lost one of its legends... Tommy's Goodbye. As I heard the news my heart broke, I know it sounds daft; especially seeing as we hardly knew each other... but you were, are a legend to this club and indeed town. They called you “Flash” because you were quick on the wing, thank goodness your were; as you quickly winged your way into our hearts! How I took great delight in telling my friend who you were at that old boy reunion, he was meant to know it all too! You never forgot me, always had a smile for me and genuinely seemed to like the fact I was a fan... like I could have been anything else!! I still cherish the book you signed; it holds pride of place in my book case & always will. Oh and the times I've shouted at our present day ‘wingers' to “get a move on!” or how I wished they had been like you!!! You would have sorted some of them opposition full backs out, I'm sure. I wish you were still here, I wish I had the chance to say hello one last time; one last time to ask how you were or to see you smiling towards me. I wish I could say thank you one last time for all you did for the club, you are one of an elite few who will always have a special place in not only the club but also Northampton as a town. So, from this very humble and very grateful St. John lady to the legendry Tommy “Flash” Fowler; thank you. For all that you were, for all that you did for the club... but more importantly thank you; for being my friend. You will NEVER be forgotten! A Part of Me. Suddenly I saw you standing there You were all I ever needed in a man Your eyes were looking straight at me And I felt like I have never felt before. You are in my heart That's where you'll always be For the rest of our lives You'll always be a part of me. I remember how we used to talk I remember how you made me laugh I was once so close to holding you But now it all seems so far away. You are in my heart That's where you'll always be For the rest of our lives You'll always be a part of me. But now it's all so different And now I feel the cold I never feel the warmth That you used to show to me. You are in my heart That's where you'll always be For the rest of our lives You'll always be a part of me. Will I ever feel that warmth you used to show to me Because I really need to know Do you remember how we used to be Because I do remember every night of my life When I'm alone in my room. You are in my heart That's where you'll always be For the rest of our lives You'll always be a part of me. You are always in my dreams. Where Have You Gone? Hey there pretty angel where have you gone. You with your good heart and soft tender touch. You with your sad blue eyes. Where have you gone? Here I am just sittin' here thinking. Thinking about your love and how I miss you so. How you showed me true love and how to love again. I miss you so; miss your smile; your face; your heart. Oh my love come back to me. Oh my dear sweet angel know I miss you so; Know that my heart is yours. For now and always my heart belongs to you. With me in my world and you in yours; Know that I will always love you; And that my heart belongs to you. My heart and soul will always be yours. Know this much my dear sweet angel; Whatever may part us, Whatever may come between us; Wherever you may go; I belong to you. Hey pretty angel, where have you gone? Love is in the Air. (PRESENT DAY) Lying in his arms there was a million and one thoughts running through Sarah's mind, while he caressed her softly his mind was full of fear worry and regret. What if she doesn't want me? What if I'm not enough? What if she regrets it? Was all he could think as he tried to slow his heartbeat and sooth his fears, hoping she didn't regret it and that she'd want to stay. The silence began to get unbearable but neither seemed willing to break it, so as they lay there both let their minds drift back to when they were just friends still. Turning slightly so her back was leant against his chest Alex boldly pulled her into his embrace, thankful that she didn't pull away from him Alex closed his eyes and began to think of how the two had first met. Hearing him sigh deeply she too laid thinking about how the two had gotten to this point in their lives, closing her eyes Sarah lay listening to the rain fall outside for a few moments before drifting off into her dream filled sleep. (FLASHBACK) The lowest moment of her life and Sarah felt as though the whole world had walked out on her, I've lost everything she thought to herself as she sat staring at the knife in her hands. The rape, the bullying, the attacks, the lovers all flooded Sarah's mind with hurt and pain she couldn't bare anymore. Wanting the pain to stop and the hurting to be over Sarah ran the cold blade softly across her wrist, shivering as steel met flesh. It's easy, just do it. Sarah thought to herself as she ran the cold steel across her wrist a little firmer this time, wincing slightly as she felt it almost tear the skin. Sitting in the cold dark alleyway the last attack Sarah had suffered had been the final straw, as her attacker had pulled the knife on her to do goodness knows only what she had lost it completely. Grabbing the knife from his hands Sarah's pretty brown eyes were filled with pain and hurt, and as the tears started to fall all the pent up emotions and anger she had been feeling since she was a child came flooding out. “Come on then you bastard, come and attack me! Hurt me you asshole, come on!” She yelled as the torrent of abuse came flowing out of her, holding the knife in her hands Sarah had the cold sharp blade pointed to her neck as she watched the fear in her attackers eyes right before he ran for the hills. Today was much the same as any other day for Alex, he got up the same went to work the same and did all the normal things he would do. But for the past eighteen months he had done all this on autopilot, since losing his wife Penny he had be so devastated by it all it was all he could do to survive what life threw at him. Today Alex was due to teach a group of consultants how to get the best out of their employees, sighing deeply it was just another thing he didn't want to do but knew he had no choice but to go. Having just about managed to get himself up the rest seemed to be a blur because the next thing Alex knew he was climbing out of his car and getting ready to head off, taking his briefcase from the boot and locking his car Alex headed off to make the short journey from the car park to the companies offices a few streets away. On any other day this journey would take Alex all of three minutes but like he had become accustomed too, today took him the long way round. He couldn't help himself; he needed to be close to Penny again. Although his mind was full of the incident and then her accident, Alex could see her as clear as day; it was as if she was standing next to him as he stood at the entrance to the alleyway. But as his mind cleared he was alerted to someone's distress with the faint sobbing he could hear close by. As he approached Sarah looked up to see this stranger coming at her, gripping the knife tighter she never realised until it was too late she had already tore the skin on her wrist. At first it didn't hurt and she never noticed until she saw his eyes travel from her face to her wrist, following the strangers eyes she saw the blood and then felt the shock and pain overwhelm her. “My names Alex, I'm a first aider what's happened?” Sarah just about heard him say as she could feel herself drifting into unconsciousness, as he approached his soft voice seemed to reassure her that she would be safe with him and within moments the stranger had begun to tend to the wound. Silence surrounded them for a long time as Sarah lay there drifting in and out of unconsciousness and trying to sort the mess of her life out; as he spoke she looked up into his eyes for the first time and quickly became captivated by them. “Tell me what happened my love, who made you do this?” His voce was so soft and reassuring Sarah just knew instantly that this man wouldn't hurt her, looking up into his bright blue piercing eyes she took a deep breath and began to tell this kind stranger what happened. “I was attacked again; some man took my bag and then pulled the knife on me.” Sarah felt strangely at ease in this man's company and wanted to say more but found the words got stuck in her throat. “But why do this to yourself sweetheart?” Alex said as he finished dressing her wound the best he could, wanting to take her in his arms and take her pain away Alex felt useless but couldn't stop himself from reaching out to her instinctively pulling away at the last moment. Holding out his hand to her she cautiously took it and was helped to her feet lingering for as long as he could Alex held her hand and asked again why she'd hurt herself, it was her answer that scared him the most and made it almost impossible for him to let go of her hand. “Because I wish I was dead, I wanted to kill myself.” As her words left her mouth it was like all the emotions pain and hurt had been lifted slightly, not being able to hold it in any longer she began to weep uncontrollably. Not being able to stop himself Alex had taken her into his arms and silently begun to weep for her pain, for Penny and for his own pain. They two strangers stayed like this for a long time, weeping into each others arms not able to stop their grief from showing. As their tears began to slowly dry Alex instinctively brought her face to his and cupped it in his soft hands, smiling the smile of an angel he softly spoke. “Do you need to talk my dear?” Nodding she was touched at how he tenderly spoke and wiped away her tears softly, pulling away and holding his hand out she hesitantly looked for a moment before taking it and allowing him to lead her away and back to his warm dry car. Sitting in the safety of his warm car Sarah was sat in silence, cold and frightened but she felt strangely calm in this stranger's presence. Shaking through the cold Sarah watched as he took the jacket he had on off and wrapped it around her shoulders, smiling slightly at him and his kindness she felt like she could tell him anything and he would listen to her. “Do you want to talk my love?” His soft voice was full of kind compassion; looking round to him Sarah was met by his bright blue eyes and felt ready to share everything with someone. Taking a deep breath Sarah began to tell this perfect stranger how she came to this point in her life, watching how he took her hand in his as she spoke. “My life's a mess, I just wish it was over and then the pain would stop...” As Sarah began to talk she felt like a weight was being lifted from her shoulders, and strangely she could feel a change inside of her that she couldn't explain. “... and this attack just became too much for me to take. I just want it to all be over; I want the pain and tears to stop!” As Sarah finished tell her story, the silence was deafening, but although she felt sad her tears wouldn't fall. Moving his free hand to her face he turned her head to face his and gently stroked her cheek, sighing he went to speak but found he couldn't. He just pulled her gently into his arms and held her closely as she felt the waves of emotions hit her, whispering soft reassurances into her hair over and over again. From that moment on the two became best friends and would never leave each other, silently promising to always be there for each other. (PRESENT DAY) Not really being able to sleep Sarah sighed deeply and opened her eyes, realising she was still lying in Alex's arms and still in his bed. Feeling his breath upon her neck she could tell he was wide awake too, feeling him sigh deeply Sarah shifted her weight slightly causing him to wrap his arms around her and speak. “Are you ok Sarah?” Was all he could say, feeling the guilt deep down inside he prayed she was alright. Trying to pretend she was still asleep Sarah silently held her breath for as long as she could, before she felt Alex's lips softly graze her neck. Shivering Sarah felt things inside of her that she never thought she could ever feel, sighing deeply she took a deep breath and spoke. “I just...” Sarah started, having no real idea of what she was about to say. “I don't know where this leaves us Alex.” Sarah continued after a few moments to gather her thoughts, leaning into his arms as she tried to make sense of it all. Yesterday had all been so different, for them both it was true but now she found herself lying in the arms of her best friend. Not being able to understand why she didn't feel guilty or what was going through here mind, all Sarah was sure of was that she may have just lost her best friend; and that scared her more than anything. “I know Sarah I know, this wasn't exactly planned you know! I wasn't expecting to end up in bed with you...” Before he had the chance to go on Sarah moved and went to get up, grabbing his shirt that lay by her side of the bed and putting it on. Getting up and heading for the bathroom, Sarah spoke trying to understand what she was feeling. “And you think I did? Come on Alex I know I'm the last person you'd want to end up in bed with, and I can assure you this wasn't something I planned either!” As she stood in the bathroom, looking into the mirror Sarah couldn't explain where those words had come from. All she knew was that deep down somewhere inside of her she not only felt she'd lost her best friend but that what had happened was; if only in his mind was a huge mistake. Splashing water upon her face Sarah stared blankly into the mirror again and begun to think about her past, in particular how Alex had always been there for her during the good times and bad. Whatever she went through Sarah always seemed to know that after that day when she met Alex she'd never go through it alone again, she had believed that it was the same way for him. But now as she thought about last night Sarah realised that it may all be over for their friendship, as she may very well be looking at fighting alone once more. (FLASHBACK) The day had started off like pretty much all the rest over the past seven years, it had become somewhat of a traditional ritual between the pair. Having both been left more than a little broken hearted by lovers in their pasts it was always the same for both Sarah and Alex on Valentine's Day, loads of people all loved up and rubbing salt into their wounds. As the two friends sat that first Valentine's night in their local bar seven years ago, surrounded by lovers wooing each other they both made a pact that neither would spend another Valentine's Day alone and nor would they feel hurt by those surrounding them. Laughing like children and acting like they were already lovers both Sarah and Alex would spend that Valentine's Day together enjoying each others company, and would continue to do so until that day when it all seemed to change. As the two friends met for coffee before they went for lunch everything was like normal, the mood was light and the laugher deep; neither could have known that things would end the way they did. As they sat in the restaurant having lunch the atmosphere was geared more towards their long standing friendship than anything else, both laughed and joked like they never had a care in the world. Even as the two took the short journey home neither could have ever known that things would end the way they did. (PRESENT DAY) Sitting there in silent shock Alex realised that she most probably regretted last night and wished it hadn't happened, sighing deeply he tired to piece together the shattered bits of his life and heart as he started to dress realising in all honesty he couldn't and didn't want to. All that really went through Alex's mind was that the women he loved and cared for more than life itself would never speak to him again, thoughts of losing Sarah and her friendship ran through his mind and if he was honest it scared the hell out of him. All the times she had been there for him when he had needed her, all the happiness and laughter that he felt and filled his life flooded his already overwhelmed thoughts. Thoughts of how wrong and far off the mark she was began to enter his mind, she thinks I don't want her made him realise the pain he thought he'd taken away was still there. Alex sat on the edge of his bed and trying to find the right words to explain how he felt, when Mark came in. “Dad, I'm off into town is there anything you want?” He'd managed to say before he saw the state of undress his father was in and the items of clothing scattered around the bedroom floor, blushing as soon as he realised and quickly made his excuses and left leaving Alex with just his thoughts of last night for company. (FLASHBACK) As they got back to his Alex fixed them both a drink and the pair sat down to watch all the old slushy movies they could, laughing and mocking them as they watched. Curling up together Sarah couldn't stop feeling a little emotional as they watched the end of that great classic love story Casablanca, and as she tried to hide her tears she felt truly touched as Alex pulled her close and gently caressed her back. She was touched too at how Alex had to hide his own tears as they watched City of Angels, as the two friends watched more romantic films both felt relaxed and comfortable together. Snuggling into his arms the pair watched Ghost Sarah sensed a changed but couldn't place it, Alex felt the same changed too but couldn't explain it ether. Watching Sam and Molly on the pottery wheel causes a desire deep within both Sarah and Alex that neither could deny, burying her head in his chest Sarah does all she can to fight these feelings. As they watched Sam dance with Molly through Oda Mae Alex almost instinctively kissed Sarah's forehead, not realising until he'd done it or just what it or would unleash in the pair. Feeling a shiver go up her spine Sarah lifted her head so her face was level with Alex's, smiling the pair were about to talk but both went back to watching the film after chickening out. As the film ended and their tears fell both Sarah and Alex were inches away from each other, turning to face him she was about to speak but as he hushed her lips Alex wiped away her tears before going to speak. “Sarah...” Alex started to say before he was stopped by Sarah's soft fingers upon his lips, his piercing blue eyes searching deep into her soul through Sarah's deep brown eyes. “Hush Alex, don't speak.” Sarah boldly said as she searched his eyes, looking for the answers she had longed to find. “I never got my Valentine's Kiss.” Sarah continued as she playfully giggled and kissed Alex's cheek, feeling the change she then softly laid a light kiss upon his lips while lingering slightly. Within seconds the mood had changed and both could not only sense it but also feel it, wanting to pull away neither found they could. Finally pulling back the two friends sat their in silence, their heartbeats racing and emotions reeling. Feeling a passionate desire rise within them both that neither could deny it was Alex that made the first move this time, softly kissing Sarah upon the lips with a passion he never knew he had within him still. With a desire she didn't think she still had Sarah kissed Alex back for all she was worth, and as the passion and desire grew in both something just felt right for them both and as they crossed the line of no return both knew it was what they wanted. Softly caressing her Alex felt that this could never be wrong slowly kissing his way down Sarah's body, feeling how she reacted to his touch. Pulling back Alex went to ask if Sarah was sure, nodding before he had the chance he picked her up in his arms and carried off to his bedroom. (PRESENT DAY) “One Kiss...” Alex half thought and half said, as he heard the bathroom door open. “It was just one kiss!” Alex said a little louder as Sarah came and sat on the edge of the bed, her back to his trying to make sense of it all. “I know Alex... This wasn't something I planned.” Sarah said after a while of silence between the pair, both wanting to say so much more but finding the words got stuck in their throats. “I should go Alex...” Sarah started, knowing deep in her heart it was the last thing she wanted. After all she had been through the only one to love her and be there for her was Alex, losing him was the last thing she wanted. Losing her was the last thing Alex wanted, she was his life and one of the only good things he had left to live for. “I don't want you to go Sarah; we need to talk about this still.” Alex said as he put a hand on her arm to stop her from getting up, still trying to work it all out in his own mind. “I know we do Alex, I just can't handle losing my best friend because of a kiss that was just for fun...” Sarah started to say but before she could continue Alex had cut her off, almost raising his voice at her. “Is that was it was to you Sarah, just a bit of fun? That kiss meant nothing to you then, is that what you're telling me?” The hurt was clearly evident in his voice and as Sarah turned to look in his eyes, for the first time Alex's eyes were dark and cold. “Alex...” Sarah begun to say, seeing how he just looked through her. As he rose from the bed Sarah's heart sank, still unsure where this would end up. Trying not to let her pain, hurt or tears show Sarah turned away and sighed deeply. “Oh Alex, is that what you really think of me? You know that isn't me!” Watching him disappear into the bathroom Sarah could no longer hold her tears back, crying into his pillow she felt like she had just lost everything again. As Alex splashed water upon his face and looked into the mirror he could see his own heartbreaking, walking back into the bedroom his eyes focused on Sarah crying upon his bed. Instinctively Alex went to her side and reached out to caress her, pulling back for a moment she looked into his eyes and watched how quickly they changed. “I'm sorry baby; I didn't mean to make you cry. You mean the world to me, you know that! The last thing I want to do is hurt you, I just don't want to lose you.” Alex said as he softly wiped away the tears Sarah had let fall, going to speak Sarah shushed his lips and spoke. “I don't regret last night Alex; it wasn't just a bit of fun to me! I just don't to lose my best friend either; I'd be lost without you.” Pulling herself up upon her elbows and looking deep in his eyes there seemed to be an unasked question hanging in the air, one that both needed to answer but one that neither could. “So where do we go from here Sarah?” Alex was finally able to say, searching Sarah's eyes for some sign that she too wanted the same as he did. “One day at a time?” Was all Sarah could say, as she too searched his eyes? “Baby steps my darling baby steps, I will never hurt you.” Alex said as he gently pulled Sarah into his arms, holding her there hoping this would never be wrong. Pulling back slightly Alex softly kissed Sarah, feeling the passion rise deep within them once more she moaned softly against his lips. Falling back upon the pillow Alex began to caress Sarah slowly again softly kissing his way all over her highly sensitive body, a soft moan escaping from her lips as her desire grew. “Oh Alex...” Her lips and body grew hungry for his touch and soft caresses, their passion could no longer be fought. “I love you Sarah, you're my life. Stay with me?” Alex finally felt able to say, as he kissed her softly once more. “Oh Alex, I love you too. I will never leave your side, forever Alex forever.” Sarah managed to breathlessly whisper as his every touch and kiss took her breath away, holding him close as their desire and passion became stronger; giving her to him once more they both knew this was going to be forever. So Good They Named it Twice. Disclaimer: Songs are © to Nicky D Sarti unless stated otherwise. Songs not © to Nicky D Sarti belong to the writers/artists/singers. Wrestlers are owned by Vince McMahon and WWE™. The Rat Pack owned by Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr and Dean Martin. Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today I want to be a part of it - New York, New York These vagabond shoes, are longing to stray Right through the very heart of it - New York, New York... Right from the strains of the first few opening bars everyone knew the song, and everyone knew who sung it... or rather who made it famous. It was hard not to know the man they often called The Voice and it was hard not to succumb to the sound of his dulcet tones and soft voice; especially when you were such a fan of music as I am. Of course I knew who he was; he was Ol' Blue Eyes, but of course he died in mid 1998 and sad to say I never got the chance to see him perform... that was of course until that fateful night when my life and indeed world was turned upside down. I am by most people's standards a normal kid with a normal life and a very normal upbringing; I guess that is why when what happened actually happened it made things even more amazing. Firstly let me tell you a little about myself; my name's Gabby and I was born in England on the 22nd May 1977; when Ol' Blue Eyes was coming to the latter part of his legendry career. I had a normal, if a little boring at times childhood and wonderful parents who loved me and would have given me the world had I asked them to. Both mine and his lives were always going to be so different, not only were we almost a generation apart but we also lived in very different worlds. On the one hand he lived in the lap of luxury with everything he ever wanted right there on tap for him 24/7, while I had parents who strived for everything they had; and believe me when I say that was not much! He had such an amazing talent and friends the likes of which read like a who's who of famous folk, while I had some good friends none of them were famous and I certainly had no talent. He was used to having the company of many a fine woman, many of whom had looks one could only dream about; while I had a rather plain look about me. Not that I could not or did not scrub up well, it was more that I would never be able to walk in the same shadow as a man such as Frank Sinatra... However much to my surprise that day was one I would never forget for as long as I lived. Although I can still see everything that happened clearly that day, how it happened is a little hazier to me. I can remember that I; along with my parents had taken a well-earned holiday to the Big Apple, my parents second time and my first. I can remember it being exactly like I imagined and nothing like I imagined all at the same time, and I can clearly remember saying “Wow...” and “I'm in New York!” a heck of a lot. It was two or three days into our holiday when we headed to Tiffany's, it was somewhere Mum had always dreamt about going and somewhere she desperately wanted to buy something from. I must admit that when it came to jewellery and that sort of thing I never really saw the attraction, but then I had never been to anywhere like Tiffany's before! I can remember being struck by not only the sheer beauty of the items for sale but also by the sheer class and elegance of the actual building, I remember travelling to the top floor and being blown away by the brilliance of the diamonds that were in ever cabinet I came to. And that's when things get a little hazy for me, I think it was a combinations of me not looking where I was going; not having anything to eat since the previous night and the fact I was rushing to try get round and view it all. But one minute I was fine and standing up straight the next I was feeling faint and falling to the ground, I can almost remember falling at the feet of one of the shop assistants there, and I think I could hear them asking if I was alright. But as I blacked out the one thing that stuck in my mind most was the song playing in the background, New York Now York by Frank Sinatra... I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap These little town blues Are melting away I'll make a brand new start of it In old New York If I can make it there I'll make it anywhere It's up to you, New York, New York. I must have been out cold and for some time because when I came round I found myself in a dark place and seemingly alone, but strangely enough there was still soft music playing in the background; and if I wasn't mistaken it was the last straining bars of New York New York. As I tried to adjust to my surroundings I heard a soft sound coming from what sounded like the other side of the room, it sounded much like the sound of a man clearing his throat. As I tried to focus on the sound and my surroundings I heard the man coughed once more only slightly louder this time, in my head I knew I should feel fear but in my heart none of that came through. “Are you ok my dear?” I heard a voice say softly, in my mind I was trying to understand what was happening so much so that I never recognised his voice first time. I had already answered him saying that I felt ok just a little weak before his voice came into my mind, it sounds just like... I thought to myself as I listened hard in the silence for any clues. But then as he lit his cigarette and I saw his face in the soft orange glow of the lighter the shock finally set in, it can't be? He died ten years ago! Without thinking I blurted out what was on my mind, quickly realising that I would probably sound like a nut job. “You're Frank Sinatra! You're meant to be dead...” He could tell by my silence that I wish I hadn't said what I had, and I could tell by his sly smile that he thought I was a nut. I wanted and felt like I should explain, but before I had the chance into the room walked Sammy Davis Jr and Dean Martin; leaving me even more confused by what was happening to me. Before I had the chance to speak or even think about speaking, Frank spoke chuckling slightly as he did so. “Hey guys, you'll never guess what this broad thinks...” My blushes being saved only by Dean telling Frank that they had to go, with the worst confusion I had ever felt in my whole life I tried to get my head around everything that was happening. “Where do you guys have to go?” I asked, trying to and wanting to explain what I was feeling. “I wanted to explain to you that I'm not a nut job, I'm just a little... confused.” I continued, still trying if I was honest to understand let alone explain or find the right words. “We are off to do our show, why don't you come with us?” Frank said, I'm not sure if it was out of pity; interest or some kind of twisted pleasure that he invited me but I accepted nevertheless and headed off with the “Rat Pack” to the stage area where they were playing. Sitting in the front row watching them sing their songs that were still legendry in 2008 being sung as if they were being sung for the first time, I remember feeling it was all very surreal and that this was going to take some explaining; especially when I had no real idea what was happening! As I sat studying my surroundings I noticed how unlike the New York I had just been in it was, and then it happened I became acutely aware that I was not in New York anymore and that indeed I was no longer in 2008!!! I can also remember feeling like I had been hit by a ten-ton truck when it finally sunk in, so much so that I missed pretty much of the whole show thinking about what in the heck was happening. “Are you sure you're ok my dear?” I heard Frank ask once more, placing a hand gently upon my shoulder as the three guys sat down at the table. Looking up from my seemingly distant thoughts I looked around to see that we were the only ones left in the room, as I tried to smile the words I had been searching for all night seemed to get stuck in the back of my throat as I desperately tried to explain. “Ok, I have to be honest with you guys; I have no idea what in the blue hell is happening here...” I began, taking a deep breath. “All I know is that about three hours ago I was stood in Tiffany's looking at the diamonds in 2008 and then less than 30 minutes later I find I am in the middle of God only knows where, with a man that died in 1998...” Looking up to Frank I couldn't tell what he was thinking, and maybe that was a good thing but I knew I needed to not only find out what was happening but also why it was happening! We had all been sat in silence for a few moments before Sammy said what I guess they all were thinking, causing my mind to continue to race. “So, let me get this straight... what year is this and where are you?” I could tell by the look on both Frank and Dean's faces that it was meant as some kind of joke, and if I was honest I could totally understand where they were coming from. Sighing deeply I had no idea what to say or even if they would believe me, so taking out my mobile I look at the screen and show Sammy it slowly. Slowly he takes the phone, with all three men looking in awe at this contraption now in Sammy's hands. “Look at the screen, it will tell you the date...” I say as Sammy looks at the screen, as the shock hits him he shows it to both Frank and Dean who also take a look and become filled with the same shock. “What year is this and where am I? If it isn't New York and 2008...” I say as I look from one to the other, still trying to understand what has just happened to me. I could tell that the guys were still in shock so I had to repeat myself a few times before I got an answer, and to be honest it wasn't really one I was expecting. “You, well we are in Las Vegas and the year is 1962...” Frank said, as he looked curiously at my mobile phone. I could tell that he was fascinated by what had become almost part of our way of life; it is true that along with computers, mobile phones had become a way of life for most people in the 21st century. I wanted to tell them all that had happened over the years since they had passed away, but I also wanted to learn about why I was where I was and what was happening. I could also tell that both Sammy and Dean were finding this really hard to take in, not that I can't say I blame them for wanting out. But as they left me sat alone in the room with Frank I knew they probably had a point, it isn't every day you come face to face with someone telling you that your friend had died. But Frank seemed to be fascinated by it all; he seemed to have so many questions for me and as we sat in silence both of our minds was obviously filled with thoughts and questions. “So, this...” Frank began as he pointed to my mobile phone, trying to obviously find the right words for his questions. “Mobile phone...” I replied, as I waited for his question. In my heart of heart's I knew there would be a million and one questions I would not only be asked but would also ask, and many of which I would not be able to answer or get the answers I wanted. “It's kinda like a diary then?” Frank asked as he played with the buttons, pressing one causing the phone to light up and make Frank drop it onto the table. I smiled slightly at his blue eyes with a shock in them I have to admit I found kinda cute, as he picked it up again I answered his questions. “It's a little more than that, but it has a calendar on it as one of its functions...” As I continued to explain and tell him what a mobile phone was I could tell he was almost hooked on my every word, as we sat alone in the room we talked about so much and would have stayed there if it wasn't for my stomach telling me it was hungry. “Would you like to grab a bite to eat?” Frank asked, as he motioned to the door. Nodding I follow Frank to the door and we head to the front of the hotel and the world famous Strip, all the while we talk constantly about how things have changed and the new world that has seemingly fascinated Frank. “So what happens to Sammy and Dean, do I go before them?” Frank asked silently, as we sat in this small out of the way diner making small talk over the food as we talked. I could tell it was a question that had been on his mind since I first blurted out that he had passed away in 1998, I wanted to tell him the truth but I also felt a pang of guilt too; I had the answers that could either make or back this great man in my hands. I felt not only guilt but also a huge weight upon my shoulders, it was such a strain and responsibility that I wasn't sure I wanted; let alone what to say to him. “They both leave you first; I can't tell you how hard this is for me...” I begin, realising that he too can't be finding it easy. Pausing for a moment, I look up from my coffee and can see by the look in his eyes that he needs answers I was trying to avoid. Taking a deep breath I continue, hoping and praying that I was doing the right thing. “Sammy did in 1990 due to complications from throat cancer...” I began softly, trying to find the correct words to say. “Dean died of respiratory failure in 1995 as a result of lung cancer...” I could see Frank's face; he looked as though he wanted to cry as the shock set in. I knew that if he changed his lifestyle and the other's changed theirs; then this would all change so I tried to explain. “I know it is hard and a lot to take in, I have the same feelings...” I began, pausing to try find the right words. “I am still trying to get my head around the fact that I have seemingly travelled back in time; I just hope I can get back... My folks will kill me if I don't make it; I've got work next week!” Trying a little humour, I was thankful it worked as Frank smiled and let out a slight laugh. Looking to me I became captivated for a moment by the blueness of his eyes, feeling like we were the only people in the world. “So why do you think you are here?” Frank asked, as I tried to focus on something other than those blue eyes of his. “I have no idea, I guess it has to have something with me learning something... what else could it be?” I replied as I thought about what had lead me from Tiffany's one morning to Las Vegas one evening, about 40 years previous. As we sat and continued to talk I noticed how we were holding hands, I wasn't sure if I had taken his hand or the other way round; but either way we were holding hands. And even though we had both obviously noticed this, neither of us felt as if we needed to let go; neither I nor Frank felt the need to say anything either, we just continued to hold each other's hand and talk. Hours must have gone by because I can remember beginning to feel rather sleepy, so we headed back to Frank's hotel room. “Where are you staying?” He asked me, as we arrived back to the Sands hotel. Shrugging my shoulders I replied that I had no idea, and looking around said I guessed I would try for one of the hotels. “Well, why not stay here? You are more than welcome...” Frank said as he gestured to his hotel room, nodding I agreed and followed him inside. It wasn't so much that I was desperately seeking for somewhere to stay, and I did trust him; but in some way I still wanted the night to continue. As we settled inside I propped myself up against the headboard as he lay next to me on the seemingly huge double bed, we continued to talk about what the future was like. “What happens in the future?” Frank said, as he passed over a glass of cola to me and took hold of his own glass of scotch. Taking a sip from the glass, enjoying the cool liquid as it coated my throat and the fact that by doing this it gave me time to think. “Well, bear in mind that I was born 15 years after this concert I can't really remember too much about the era I was born, and what I do remember may not be of interest...” I must admit that I was, at this moment in time stalling. Part of me didn't want to tell him what was to happen; mainly due to the fact I had no idea what would happen if I did. And if I was honest I was struggling to find things to tell Frank now, but I realised he would not want to give in that easily; so I faced the situation and began to tell him about the future. “Both JFK and his brother Robert will died way before their time...” I began, thinking it was better to get the shocking stuff out the way first. “In the future both England and the US will be overrun by foreign nationals seeking asylum, personal computers will become very popular; as will these things...” I show him the mobile phone that he had been toying with earlier, and ask I begin to show him what it does and how it works I become aware that he is hanging on my every word. Which I must admit did feel kinda good, but also very powerful; I mean if I was evil I could make this great entertainer believe anything I wanted to! “So, changing the subject here a little; what's your story?” Frank asked, drawing me from my thoughts. I smiled slightly and let out a muffled snigger, sighing deeply I began to tell him about ‘my story.' “Not really that much to tell if I am honest...” I began, realising how much I still hated talking about myself. Draining the glass I had in my hands I set the empty glass down and began to get myself comfortable next to Frank who was now laying, on his side facing me and propped up on one arm. “I was born and raised in a small town in England, my folks are still together and even though I am in my early 30's I still live with them...” I continued as I tried to find something interesting to tell him, truth is that my life was pretty boring in some respects. Nothing really ever happened to me, my life was always the same; boring. Which I guess is why I had such a hard time figuring out why this had happened to me, it wasn't like all the action and good stuff happened to me. As I continued to struggle with things to tell Frank about myself I could feel a certain emotion I had not felt before, as Frank smiled I began to realise I was beginning to get feelings for him. It was not something I planned or ever imagined would or could happen, but sure enough the more we talked the stronger these feelings became. “So what exactly were you doing before you passed out?” Frank said as he placed his empty glass down on the sideboard, his blue eyes almost burning into my soul. “I was looking at the diamonds!” I began, smiling a little at how he smiled. As I told him what happened we both thought about why I had seemingly been transported back to this time and place, I had no links to that era or indeed Frank and his friends. There was no real reason for this to have happened; maybe it was just one of those bizarre things that just happened because. “So, it can't have anything to do with that; the reason you find yourself here I mean.” Frank continued, shaking my head I was still trying to think why I was here when it happened. Unexpectedly and for seemingly no real reason, Frank kissed me. Softly and slowly upon the lips, it took me by surprise to say the least but also took me through a wide range of emotions. Firstly of course there was shock, then came passion and desire. As we slowly parted lips we felt a stirring that both of us felt had been missing for a long time, for what seemed like an age we both stayed silent until we were interrupted by the door being knocked. As Frank pulled himself together slightly, I too did the same as he answered the door; it was Dean and Sammy hoping I had not left and wanting to know more about the future. “So what happens in your lifetime that we don't see?” Sammy asks, as they both join us on the bed; eager to learn more about my life and the future. If I was honest I still had my doubts about telling them what would happen; but having said that if something was going to happen surely it would have happened by now... “Well one major change is the Internet and how pc's have grown and become hugely popular...” I began, wishing I had my laptop with me so I could show them what I meant. “When I was born pc's were just starting out and were mainly for business and basic tasks like mathematics on a speedy basis...” I went on, surprised by the fact they all seemed to be hanging on my every word. “In 2008 they have become so popular and truth be told most people would be lost without one now... There is also the fact that pretty much everything is run with machines and computers now!” As I sat and continued to tell them about life my mind seemed to be filled with the thoughts of what just happened between myself and Frank, and I knew his mind was on it just as much as mine was. I told them about how popular technology had become and how people seemingly could not live without it, I was trying to not only think but also keep clear of the big major events; but knew it would never be able to last. As Sammy asked me what big events would happen I knew I would have to face the situation and tell them the truth, so I started with small stuff like Hurricane Katrina and some of the natural disasters that had happened. I told them with pride how England had finally won an Ashes cricket series and also a rugby world cup too, and some of the important people that passed away; including Princess Diana and Pope John Paul II. They of course knew I was holding back, and that it was something big; my skirting around the issue and failure to give them their answers was enough to confirm their suspicions. “It's can't be that bad can it?” Dean asked as I made myself another soft drink, with Frank stood inches away I could feel the tension between us and was sure the others could too. But even when Frank touched my hand and made me jump about ten feet in the air neither Sammy or Dean noticed, all they wanted to know was what I was keep back from them. Clearing my throat slightly and trying to get the shock, and indeed passion out of my mind I finally answered them. “On 11th September 2001 New York City; well all of America really suffers a terrorist attack... the like of which will be spoken about forever...” I began, already I knew that they were in shock; but knowing I could not stop now I continued. “A terrorist group called al-Qaeda hi-jacked four planes and tried to attack the heart of America, firstly the White House was made a target but the passengers crashed it before it reached the target...” I had to pause, to not only gather my thoughts but also make sure they were keeping up with me. “Another headed for the Pentagon and made a slight impact... however the biggest impact was made by two airplanes heading to California, both planes crashed into the two Twin Towers of the World Trade Centre...” Their shock was obvious, as I did my best to explain I could tell their hearts felt the same as mine. “What happened?” Frank said softly as he cleared his throat, sitting down close next to me; causing me to feel a flutter in my heart that I had not felt in a long time. Taking a deep breath I clear my throat and begin to explain what happened that fateful day, acutely aware of Frank's hand that was almost holding mine. “Well, all told there were around three thousand poor souls that lost their lives that day. Not to mention the thousands of lives that are still being taken because of the war the American's and British felt compelled to fight, like I said it is a day that will never be forgotten.” As the silence fell I became aware that Frank had now taken hold of my hand and was softly stroking the back of it. It began the butterflies to stir inside of me again; I began to become almost overwhelmed by not only my emotions but also my thoughts when Frank gently squeezed my hand. I also became aware that Dean, Sammy and Frank were talking; only thing was that my mind just could not focus. My mind was filled with emotions and feelings I had not felt in a long time, if truth be told many of these feelings were new to me. As my mind wandered I managed to catch Frank telling Sammy and Dean what happened when I came to find myself transported back to their time, noting how he still had not released my hand from his gentle grip. “It's as if she needs to find her purpose for being here I guess...” Sammy half said and half thought, as Frank nodded looking to me. All I could do was smile and nod, to be honest my heart was still in my mouth from that kiss and the fact Frank still had hold of my hand. “Well, it seems only fair that we look after the young lady; right Frank?” Dean said, smiling warmly towards me. Smiling back I silently nod my thanks, while Frank tells me where they were headed next. “We are heading back to New York for a small concert at Carnegie Hall, I am sure the guys would be as honoured as I would be if you would join us?” Frank said, as he gently caressed the back of my hand. Knowing that I could no longer deny my feelings and longing, I gladly excepted as Frank continued to tell us what would happen. Although if I am honest he lost me half way through, as once more his fingers softly manipulated their way into my heart. I had so many things going through my mind that I almost felt like my head would explode if I went through anything else, but of course I knew my luck and I know that this could very well only be the beginning of a very hectic time for me. As the night drew on and dawn began to break both Sammy and Dean had fallen asleep, leaving myself and Frank alone once more. And once more in silence and both wondering what to say, we had both been sat in silence for a while before Frank made the first move; pulling me into his warm embrace and gently holding me there. Neither of us spoke or even felt the need to speak, just feeling the emotions that were seemingly flowing from us. As we continued to hold each other I remember feeling a wash with tiredness all of a sudden, and as Frank softly caressed my back I closed my eyes. Within moments I felt myself drift off into dreamless sleep, but moments later I was being rudely woken by someone shaking me. To my surprise and slight disappointment when I came to there was no Frank, Sammy or Dean; only the sales assistant that I had fallen to the feet of when I first passed out. As I came to I adjusted to the fact I was back in Tiffany's and being tended to by some very concerned looking sales assistants, as I tried to think and get my mind straight I was handed a cup of coffee and a bag; inside which was my favourite bagel. Sitting eating the smoked salmon bagel and drinking the hot cup of coffee I tried my best to understand what had just happened to me; admittedly I wasn't doing too well with it. As I finished my “breakfast at Tiffany's” and had thanked the staff I headed out onto Fifth Avenue, with my mind still very much with Frank and the others I never saw him heading in the other direction. The first either of us knew about anything was as I went crashing into his solid chest, almost causing him to fall. As I apologised I had yet to look up fully and never saw his face, but he sure had seen mine; cutting me off before I had the chance to continue he spoke. “Either you are in a major rush or your mind is on other things?” His deep southern accent well known to me, and as I looked up to him I saw that his face was too. His piercing blue eyes reminded a lot of Frank's, even down to the fact that at that moment they seemed to be burning a whole into her soul. Realising I had been struck dumb again, I smiled; cleared my throat and said the first thing that came into my mind. “Oh my God; you're HBK!” Rolling my eyes into the back of my head the moment I said it and feeling the idiot I must have been didn't stop him from smiling and trying to make me feel better, checking over his shoulder with a deadpan look then grinning he spoke. “I know, just don't tell anyone ok?” Chuckling to himself, he held his hand out and spoke again. “My real name's Michael, it's a pleasure?” As I took his hand I smiled and took a deep breath before introducing myself, and apologising for stating the obvious. “Hello Michael, my name's Gabby; it's a pleasure to meet you... I'm sorry about stating the obvious; I have just had a really bizarre day already!” Tilting his head to one side slightly, Michael gave his legendry cheeky smile and invited me to walk with him. Smiling and accepting, as we walked I tried to explain the best I could that it was a long story, in all honesty I wasn't sure anyone would believe me if I started to tell them what I had just experience; least of all Shawn Michaels. “I like long stories, kinda reminds me of my own life!” Michael said as we continued to walk, not really anywhere in particular just walking. Smiling slightly I took a deep breath and went to speak, but then Michael bumped into his best friend Paul; better known as Triple H. Smiling politely and greeting Paul I stayed tight lipped while the two friends talked, hoping I could find a way to not explain why I'd had such a strange day. As the three of us headed into a bar we were just about to pass I felt as though I had gotten away without talking about my day when Michael brought it up again, hardly allowing me to sit down let alone think. “I don't know if you'd both believe me if I told you?” I said as I sighed deeply, realising that I could no longer avoid the subject. “Of course we would...” Paul said, as his wife Stephanie came into the bar and introduced herself. After greeting her, Paul filled her in and now I found myself sat in the company of three people just dying to hear about my day. So taking a deep breath I sigh and begin to tell the three of them just what I had been though, realising that the worst that could happen is I'd be laughed at. “... and then I found myself back here and bumping into Michael. See I told you, crazy and you'll never believe me!” I finished saying, as the three sat there in silence. I sighed once more, waiting for them to all burst out laughing and wishing I was back in Frank's warm; safe embrace. When Michael spoke, I was kinda shocked; but pleased he had spoken. “Wow, you are having a strange day!” I must admit I wasn't prepared for them to understand so much, so it kinda caught me off guard. As the three friends sat silently for a little while in contemplation as I did my best to keep my mind off the fact that my ears detected the smooth soulful sounds of a sad song sung by Frank in the background. Where are you Where have you gone without me I thought you cared about me Where are you Where's my heart Where is the dream we started I can't believe we're parted... As I listened harder I heard the words on the radio and felt a pang of pain deep inside of my chest, unsure what these feelings I was having meant. Where are you When we said good-bye love What had we to gain When I gave you my love Was it all in vain All life through Must I go on pretending Where is my happy ending... Before I knew what was happening I was more interested in the sentimental words flowing from the radio, I never noticed Michael, Paul and Stephanie watching me intently. Where are you When we said good-bye love What had we to gain When I gave you my love Was it all in vain All life through Must I go on pretending Where is that happy ending Where are you Where are you... As I became so deeply engrossed in Frank's song I never noticed I had begun to cry, and as the song came to an end my tears just flood from my weary eyes. But the first I knew about it was Michael asking if I was ok and offering me a tissue, trying to bluff my way out of it I said yes and tried to make like I had something in my eyes. Of course it never worked, I don't think I ever really believed or thought that it would. “It's ok to cry Gabby, man I would too if I was having your crazy day!” Steph said, as she passed me another tissue. Taking the tissues and thanking her I nod, with my mind still in two places I try my best to look like I am still with it. Somehow I managed to get through a good hour in their company before I felt the need to be alone and try to gather my thoughts, so smiling and thanking them for their company I made my excuses and went to leave. “Hey Gabby...” Michael called after me as he quickly caught up with me outside the bar; smiling to a few fans, he stopped to speak to me. “I know it may be hard to understand but sometimes we just have to go where our hearts take us...” Michael began; smiling towards me warmly as he gently touched my arm in support. “God knows what he's doing, and just keep believing you will find the answers you are looking for.” He continued, as we said our goodbyes. As I head off in the general direction of Central Park, I had no real idea where I was going only that I needed some time alone; with all that had happened today I needed to relax and find some space. Not even five minutes ago she was laying there in his arms, five minutes ago he had felt contented for the first time in a very long time. But now here he sat alone and feeling very lonely, one of the world's greatest talents; feeling almost suicidal. In all honesty his heart was breaking and he felt so dejected, he longed to feel her in his arms again; to see her smiling face and beautiful eyes again. He now fully understood how she must have been feeling, as he sat trying to not only understand why she had left but also get his head around his own feelings. Dean and Sammy had yet to wake, and if he was honest Frank was not looking forward to all their questions. Dressing and packing his things quickly Frank left a note telling the guys he would meet them at Carnegie Hall and headed off for The Strip, and to try find the answers he longed for. Frank had seemingly been walking for miles when he came to this little road side diner, walking in the only one who turned to face him was the girl behind the counter; certainly a refreshing change thought Frank as he sat himself down at a table out of the way. “What can I get you honey?” The waitress asked, bring Frank from his thoughts. Without thinking Frank replied, saying what was on his mind. “The woman of my dreams to come back to me...” Realising quickly what he had said, Frank tried to smooth the moment over and asked for some coffee and a breakfast. Without giving the waitress a chance to answer let alone think, Frank put his head down and continued to try and understand what he had just been through. Reaching into his pocket for his cigarettes Frank pulled them out but also brought with them Gabby's pendant, she had been playing with it absentmindedly as they talked and held each other. Frank smiled as he remembered how he had be transfixed almost by it and how it caught the light, for something that wasn't diamonds and to him was so unique Frank couldn't stop touching it. He remembered how Gabby had taken it off and handed it to Frank, telling him how she had obtained it and the story behind it. As he lightly caressed the pendant he felt a sharp pang in his heart, wishing that he had been allowed more time with her; more time to talk about life and their feelings. As the waitress brought the coffee and food, Frank thanked her and continued to think about the stories Gabby had told him last night. Playing with the pendant Gabby had just handed to him, Frank studied how it sparkled and shone. “So what's the story behind it?” Frank said as he sat holding Gabby, who shifted slightly in his arms before speaking. “It's said to hold mystical powers for the owner...” Gabby began, inhaling the scent wafting up from Frank's chest. “It is said that a Knight from the Order of St. John of Jerusalem gave it to his sweetheart, but as he journeyed to her he stopped to help some people who kinda ‘blessed' the pendant as a thank you.” Frank's silence told Gabby he wanted to hear more, so she continued. “It is said that this Knight belong to the Knights Hospitaller's, and that the pendant was specially made for him and his sweetheart.” Gabby began to absentmindedly stroke Frank's side gently, causing him to feel a passion that he had been missing for a long time. “It is said that the holder of this pendant will have, compassion, kindness, true love and friendship, good fortune and good luck...” As the silence fell between them, both of their minds were filled with thoughts of the Knight and his sweetheart. He couldn't explain it, but Frank suddenly felt an overwhelming desire to cry. Although he loved Nancy, Frank knew that he could never stay completely faithful; especially when he was on the road so much. If he had been thinking straight Frank would have seen that Gabby was just like the other women he'd known, at least that was what his brain was trying to tell him. His heart, however was telling him different. Somehow Frank just seemed to know that Gabby was the kind of woman you only heard about in dreams and fairytales, but then again maybe she was part of a dream; after all she had gone as quickly as she had come and all out of the blue! How could it all have felt so real Frank thought to himself, not really sure of anything anymore. As Frank finished his breakfast and left he walked back to the hotel, walking along The Strip his mind was still firmly on Gabby. So much so that he never saw her walking towards him, both with their heads firmly down and in their own little worlds. The first either knew about the other was when the pair had collided into each other, both speechless as they looked up to one another; both wishing the other was someone else. I was not really too sure, where I was headed, all I knew is that I was heading towards Central Park and that I needed to get my head straight. Although with the life I had been having of late, that could be easier said than done, and of course, I was all too well aware of how THAT story ended up! As I wandered through Central Park, my mind was jumping between Frank, the three wrestlers I had just met and thinking of what Michael had said about following my heart. It actually made some sense to me, only trouble was that my heart was telling me to go for it with Frank; of course that would be a little hard with the fact that in my lifetime he was dead and in his I was not even born yet! In addition, of course there was the small matter of just why I had ended up in the 1960's, and why I had come back so quickly. Finding an out of the way shady area I sat down on the cool grass and closed my eyes while taking a deep breath, I inhaled the beautiful spring scent that surrounded me. As my mind wandered, I began to think about my past and all I had been through, but not matter how hard I tried my mind still kept going back to Frank and that night's kiss. “I'm so sorry my dear...” Frank was finally able to say, once he had gotten over the disappointment that she was not Gabby. Blushing slightly, she smiled and silently sighed before replying. “It's fine, really. I wasn't looking where I was going, had my mind on other things.” Holding her hand out timidly, she blushed shyly as she continued. “My name's Dana, pleased to meet you...” Frank could tell she was shy and almost afraid of him, for a few seconds he half wished that she had made the same impression that Gabby had when they first met. His mind wasn't focusing on her if he was honest and although he could see she was clearly talking to him, Frank couldn't hear a word she was saying. His heart wasn't really into it and he wasn't in the mood for company, trying to smile in the right places Frank's mind was firmly back with Gabby wishing she was still in his arms. “So what's your story?” Dana asked, bringing Frank from his daydream. Smiling slightly Frank took a deep breath and thought about what he was about to say, exhaling loudly as he did so. “It's a long story... a very long and complicated story.” Frank replied, hoping it would be enough to deflect her questions. Smiling to herself, Dana knew that he wasn't telling the whole truth and decided to probe further. “They are the best kinda stories, why not sit down and tell me all about it?” He had to admit that he was dying to get it all off his chest, but realised he may sound like a nut job to most people. Taking another deep breath, he decided to test the water first. “Do you believe in love at first sight?” He tentatively asked, trying to think of his next questions and how he could tell her of that previous nights activity. All Dana did was to nod silently, wondering where this conversation was headed. “And do you believe that if two people can fall in love that love can also stand the test of time?” If Frank was honest with himself his heart and mind were still else where, his heart was breaking and he wished with all he had that he could be back in Gabby's loving arms. “I do, but what are you trying to tell me Frank?” It was the first time she had called him by his first name, truth be told it was the first time in a long while that a stranger had called him by his first name; most people were scared of him when they first met him. “Something happened to me last night, something I don't really understand; but it has left me feeling... empty inside.” Frank said softly, still unsure if she would believe him. Even though the pair had only just met something inside of Frank told him he could tell Dana his fears, and that same something made Dana feel safe and comfortable in Frank's company. The pair sat down outside by the Sands hotel where Frank had just come from earlier, taking a deep audible breath he spoke. “Last night a woman's fearful cry brought me to this young lady and when she fell into my arms I felt like I had to help her...” Frank began, never taking his eyes from the floor in front of him as he continued to tell his story. “She woke soon after I had taken her up to my room, her first words were; ‘oh my God you're Frank Sinatra' and then she told me I was meant to be dead...” Frank went on trying to not sound like a total nut job, hoping he wasn't failing. Dana silence told him that she was either listening because she believed him, or silent because she couldn't believe him. “... and that's when I kissed her for the first time, I don't know what came over me or why I felt the urge to kiss her; I just did.” Frank had nearly come to the end of her story and still Dana was silent, Frank wasn't sure if he should continue. “Anyway, we had hardly drifted off to sleep when I woke up again; only this time it was to find that she was no longer by my side. Ever since then I have been trying to get my head around it all, told you it was a long story!” Frank finished and tried to let out a little laugh, but truth was he was convinced that Dana thought he was some kinda nut. Dana had been sitting there, quietly listening to Frank talk with passion about this mysterious woman he had so obviously fallen for almost for an hour and if she was honest with herself she knew exactly how he was feeling. Hearing Frank sighing deeply caused Dana to look over to him, here was one of the worlds most famous singers sat looking totally lost and dejected. “It's ok Frank, I know how you are feeling and I totally understand; and no I don't think you are a nut...” Dana began, smiling and letting out a small laugh before continuing. “Sometimes love doesn't make sense, it's a lot like life... Just smile because it happened, don't cry because it's over.” Touching the back of his hand caused Frank to sharply inhale, not because he felt any passion but because he remembered how Gabby had done much the same that previous night. Nodding slightly, Frank didn't totally understand but had to agree it did make sense to him. The time had gone really fast and pretty soon Frank was well aware that he needed to be back in New York City and fairly soon, and after saying his goodbyes to Dana; was heading off back to NYC. Back in Central Park, I was still sat in quiet contemplations, when I sensed the change in the air temperature. As I shivered with the chill in the air, I sighed aloud wishing that I could make sense of it all but realising in all honesty that I may never find the truth. Getting to my feet, I began to take a slow walk back to the hotel we were staying at. We were staying at the Holiday Inn on West 57th, which was central to all the places I wanted to visit. One of which was Carnegie Hall, but my mind had yet to register that fact. With my mind still firmly with Frank and back in 1962 still I was walking back into the hotel room before I knew it, with my folks asking where I had been all day. It was the second time that day I had been backed up into a corner for answers that I was struggling to give myself, so I did my best to bluff my way through the questions and headed off to shower. As the water rained down upon my body I could feel the strain of my day washing away, but still the thoughts came; and then my mind began to focus on something that I had seemingly forgotten about until now. I had just come out of an abusive relationship and I kept having these reoccurring dreams for a while afterwards, they would start and end in the same way and I would always be left wondering what had happened as well as if I would ever be free from them. It would start with an attack of some kind; after I had witnessed this, the attacker would turn his attentions to me and begin to chase me. But before the attacker could catch up with me, I would always wake up with a Frank Sinatra song running through my mind and no real idea why, maybe the dreams were all part of what had happened last night. As I turned off the shower and began to dry myself those dreams were still in the forefront of my mind, so much so that I did not hear my folks speaking to me at first. I just agreed and began to get ready, not realising that my dreams would soon be settled. As I dressed time passed by quickly and pretty soon the time for us to leave for our night out had arrived, sighing deeply I bemoaned at the fact that I did not really want to go. “Come on now Gabby...” My father said, gesturing to Mum to wait up for us. “You know we had arranged this for your birthday, you always said you wanted to go Carnegie Hall... and Aunt Dana will be there.” Dad always knew how to make me feel guilty, so smiling I follow them to Carnegie Hall not really thinking but with my mind elsewhere. The walk took us a little over 20 minutes, mainly because I was dragging my feet; still thinking of other things. Finally we arrived at Carnegie Hall and greeted my Aunt Dana before taking our seats, Dana was not my Aunt by blood; more of a ‘virtual' Aunt. Made into one of my Godparents, Dana had always been there for me and had never forgotten about me. No matter how bad I was feeling she always knew how to make it better, and would always have the right answers for any questions I had. However, I knew that this might be all too much for even her to believe; so quietly I sat pretending to listen to all my parents and Aunt said. Out the corner of my eye, I could have sworn I saw Michael and Paul so made my excuses and left to seek them out. Wandering outside I had no idea what dangers I was heading into, in fact if I had been thinking straight I would have never gone down that darken alleyway beside the Hall; but I was not thinking straight. I had already reached half way and the alley was almost pitch black, still I never saw the dangers until too late. It all happened so quickly; one moment I watched how this figure dressed in black attacked this helpless woman, the next calling for him to stop. If I had been thinking straight I would not have called out, had I been thinking straight I would have run away the second after he had looked up; but I was not thinking straight. He was already within feet of reaching me when I had realised I needed to run away, turning to run I was almost out of the alleyway when I felt him catch up with me. I never felt him grab hold of me, but as I felt the sharp blow to the back of my skull and the intense pain that followed; I knew he had caught up with me. I can remember I just had time to yell out with fear and pray I would be ok before I fell unconscious, I don't remember much other than being dragged back deeper into the darken alleyway. With fear in my heart I as I awoke I could just make out his figure becoming blurry as he got ready to do goodness-knows-only-what to me, as I shut my eyes tightly I braced myself for the inevitable end that I felt would be coming. As Frank walked into the dressing room without Gabby by his side, he knew by the look Sammy and Dean gave each other that the question would come soon. And he was right, after nearly 30 seconds of him putting his bag down the questions had started. “So, where's Gabby?” Dean asked, as he looked around just to add affect to his question. Shaking his head, Frank answered sadly. “I don't know Dean, one minute she was there and the next she wasn't.” Hoping that would be the end of it but knowing otherwise Frank tried to get ready for the show but if he was honest with himself, he knew he did not real want to go out on stage. “What do you mean she's gone?” Sammy asked, as Frank sighed audibly. “Did you fall out?” Sammy added, looking to Dean who was always up on his feet. “Did you make a pass at her?” Dean said, meaning it as a joke but realising something else had happened when Frank shot him one of his legendry looks. “Look guys, all I know is that we were all talking and then after you had fallen asleep so did we and when I woke; Gabby wasn't there.” Frank said, almost pleading with his friends to drop it. But when they would not Frank took drastic measures and walked out of the dressing room, no real idea where he was going just that he had to go somewhere. As Frank walked to God-only-knows-where he felt the same emptiness he had felt all day, he had to admit he could not understand it; could not see how he could have fallen so hard and so quickly for a stranger. As he continued to walk all Frank thought about was Gabby and how he wish he had more time with her, his mind was so focused on her that he nearly didn't hear her fearful cry. Stopping dead in his tracks for a moment Frank silently listened for the sound that had caused him to stop in the first place, as he heard it again he quickly searched for where it had come from. Finding it and without thinking Frank rushed off to this woman's aid, without thinking he had no idea what he would find; only that he needed to help. As Frank called for the figure to leave the woman alone he had yet to reach her side or even see who she was, even when he was at her side it took him a few moments to realise it was Gabby. The moment he realised a sick feeling entered his stomach, the blood had drained from his face for a few moments before he gently picked her up in his arms and carried her back to the dressing room. Unlike before when Frank had entered the room, now Sammy and Dean rushed around like clucking Mother hens trying to help. (The next part is written from my POV... and is in italic) While I was drifting in and out of unconsciousness I could just about see Frank and almost hear him, but it was his soft touch that made me acutely aware that he was by my side. As he gently lay me down on what I could only guess was a sofa I could hear both Sammy and Dean rushing around trying to help Frank, who was clearly having some trouble trying to stay calm. During a moment when I was almost coming to I could feel Frank silently shed a small tear upon my cheek, it all seemed to help me come from my catatonic state. “Oh God Gabby, I thought I had lost you for a moment there... Are you ok?” Frank said the relief obvious in his eyes and face as I slowly began to open my eyes. I felt to weak to speak or even move so I tried my best to smile, this alone took a lot of energy. But was all worth it to see Franks relieved smile, while Dean and Sammy left us to talk Frank continued to look after me. Neither of us spoke, neither of us needed to; we both sat in comfortable silence for a few moments. “What happened Gabby?” Frank said sadly, looking away for a moment; trying to quell his tears. “I don't know...” I answered quietly and honestly, wanting to say so much more I could not find the words. Without warning, Frank pulled me into his arms and held me there tightly and although I was shocked, I never complained I just held him back; I needed to be held at that moment in time. After a long time I began to stir and spoke, causing Frank to loosen his arms from around my waist. “I think I know why I was here with you the first time, but I can't say it will make any sense!” I was about to tell Frank all when Dean walked back into the room, inform us that Frank was due on stage. “Why don't you come sit at the front and watch?” Frank said, nodding I slowly got to my feet and tried to follow; but being a little unsteady on my feet still, Frank helped me to the front of the stage. Joining Sammy and Dean Frank smiled over to me as I got comfy, smiling back, I sat and watched Frank, Sammy and Dean put on their world famous show. It was Sammy that sang first, a slow number called; What Kind of Fool Am I? I had heard his, along with Frank and Dean voices many times before on the radio and TV; but never had it sounded quiet like the way I was hearing it tonight. Pretty soon, the song had ended and Dean was being introduced; walking onto the stage with his trademark glass of scotch in his hand. “And here he is Ladies and Gentleman, straight from the bar; Dean Martin...” The crowd all cheered loudly as he was introduced, smiling and taking the mic from Sammy he began to sing the opening bars from a song made famous by Tony Bennet called; I Left My Heart In San Francisco. With Dean singing it the only way he could, I could not help buy laugh along with the audience as Dean sang the wrong words. But if the truth was told it was Frank I wanted to hear sing, he always had what I classed as the voice of an angel but now more so than ever I felt like his voice was truly a Godsend. As Sammy stood on the stage trying to make Dean laugh Frank came onto the stage, I could feel my heart skip a beat; I felt like a lovesick teenager... I never knew anyone could ever have this affect on me, let alone someone who was meant to have died 10 years previous! Dean had finished singing by the time my mind had stopped thinking about Frank, as he took the mic and thanked Dean he smiled directly at me; causing the butterflies to start again. Frank began to sing a song I had not heard before, looking around and then to Frank's two colleagues on stage I realised nobody else had either. As he continued to look directly at me as he sung, I realised that Frank was singing this song not at me; rather for me. Hey there pretty angel where have you gone. You with your good heart and soft tender touch. You with your sad blue eyes. Where have you gone? Here I am just sittin' here thinking. Thinking about your love and how I miss you so. How you showed me true love and how to love again. I miss you so; miss your smile; your face; your heart. Oh, my love come back to me. Oh, my dear sweet angel know I miss you so; Know that my heart is yours. For now and always, my heart belongs to you. With me in my world and you in yours; Know that I will always love you; And that my heart belongs to you. My heart and soul will always be yours. Know this much my dear sweet angel; Whatever may part us, Whatever may come between us; Wherever you may go, I belong to you. Hey pretty angel, where have you gone? As the song came to an end I realised Frank had not taken his eyes from mine as he sang, it was as if they were glued to mine. The rest of the night went quickly with the three friends doing their normal routine and singing the songs that had made them famous over the years, although I had enjoyed the show I must admit my heart wanted it to be over; but of course that was just because I wanted to spend more time with Frank. Soon I was heading back to the dressing room with Frank and the boys, acutely aware that Frank was following the others and trying to make the walk back last for as long as he could. Or maybe he was trying to make the whole night last, the last time we had spent time together we both fell asleep and both of us missed the chance to say how we truly felt. As Sammy and Dean headed off for the dressing room, Frank held back a little and soon we both had come to a standstill. Gently he took my hand and enquired if I was feeling any better, nodding slowly I showed him the bump that was now forming and told him I would live. “I loved that song you sang Frank...” I began, smiling up into his bright blue piercing eyes; I had forgotten how much I had missed them when I had first met him. “It was a new song right?” I asked, as I lent up against the nearby wall. Frank nodded and replied, as he moved slightly towards me; still holding my hand in his. “Yeah, I have a confession to make... I found the lyrics early this morning.” Frank replied as he moved closer still, a soft smile and tenderness in his eyes. “I just thought I would sing it when I saw you smile at me out there tonight... it just felt right.” Frank continued, softly he touched my cheek with the back of his finger; causing tiny electrical chargers to run through the skin. My silence told him that I was still in shock, so as Frank moved a little closer still he spoke softly. “I hope you didn't mind me making it ‘your song'? It just seemed right.” Frank went on to say, but I could hardly hear him for all the beating my heart was doing in my chest and ears I had trouble hearing him speak. By now his lips were almost brushing my cheek and I have to admit this alone was killing me inside, I needed and wanted him to kiss me again; I could not explain it I just felt it. Then as he pulled back slightly and as if he knew what I was thinking, Frank gave a little smile and softly kissed my lips. In that moment time stood still for me and I can clearly remember feeling things I had never felt before, I was acutely aware of the rising emotions in both of us that moment. As our lips parted, I knew that no matter what happened or when I returned to my own time, I knew I would never forget that moment; or indeed that kiss. Neither of us needed to speak, we both just seemed to know what the other was feeling, as we both smiled at each other we headed back to the dressing room. Sat back in the dressing room Sammy and Dean were all but ready so the three of us sat talking while Frank showered and changed, there was no real subject we spoke about; just more chitchat I guess but the conversations always seemed to flow. They of course asked about what happened and why I seemed to disappear for a while, as I explained I tried to avoid answering the questions I knew would obviously be on their minds. Truth be told I wanted Frank to hear my thoughts first, I was still unsure why it had all happened now and not when I started to have the dreams. The moment they asked me I quickly changed the subject and spoke about the future and what it held for not just them, but also humanity in general; I knew that this was the best way I had of defecting their questions. Just as I felt their questions about to turn back to why I felt I was there, Frank came back into the room and the four of us headed back to the Waldorf Astoria where they were all staying that night. None of us felt like retiring so we sat in the hotel bar talking for most of the night, both Frank and myself were aware that time may not be on our side and made our excuses to head off to the room. Although I knew he wanted to ask Frank stayed silent as soon as we got into his room, talking but also giving me time and space. If I was being honest with myself though I was also giving Frank time to find the words he needed to say whatever her felt he needed to say, truth be told we both needed to talk. “What is the song you sang for me called Frank?” I asked as we relaxed upon the plush king size bed that seemed to be the focus of a whole room that was lavishly laid out, the interior was in keeping with the whole theme of the hotel; luxurious and elegant. The room Frank was staying in was more like an apartment back home, it was one of their Luxury Suites all decked out with deluxe luxurious accommodation and overlooking Park Avenue. The whole room seemed like something out of an old-fashioned film where the movie star is hugely rich and has a room at the local hotel that looks like the penthouse suite, I have to admit had I stayed much longer I would have felt like a movie star myself. “It doesn't have a name yet...” Frank began, looking up at me with his blue eyes. Looking at him questioningly, Frank continued to explain. “When I said it was a song I came across, I meant that it was a new song... as I sat thinking about you and how I felt I just began to write the feelings down, and this is what I came up with.” He was silent for a while, not able to face me. “What are you trying to tell me Frank?” I asked, as my mind raced. In truth though I guess I knew what he was saying, but my past had taught me never to take anything for granted and to expect the unexpected. Without another word Frank moved towards me slowly, taking my hand in his he spoke softly. “That it's your song...” Pausing both of us knew he wanted to say more, after a few moments he continued. “I can't say that I understand it all, but you know that I have a lot of feelings for you; don't you?” I could tell Frank was almost stalling and almost skirting around the words he wanted to say, wanting to make things easier on him I wanted to tell him I felt the same; as I went to explain there was a knock at the door. As Frank answered I could tell by how he stood and answered that something was wrong, it would not take me long to find out either. Thanking the person at the door, Frank shut the door and headed back to the bed with a look on his face I could not place. “What's wrong?” I asked as he sat beside me, he was silent before answering. “Why do you think you came to be here?” Frank asked, it was as if he asked this but meant something else; so I answered him the best I could. Explaining about my past and how my then boyfriend had turned to abuse and beat me after losing his job and hitting the bottle, I told Frank of how I began to have these reoccurring dreams. “The dreams start when I find myself in a dark place, I'm not sure where it is or what I am doing there, only that the place seems to be completely pitch black...” I begin as Frank comes and lays on the plush bed next to me, taking my hand softly in his I continue. “As my mind beings to focus I can sense things changing all the time, I could sense the chill in the air which told me I could be outside; and although there was silence around me to start with this began to change too.” Frank never once took his eyes from my own, although sometimes I felt that I had to look away to gather my thoughts. “After a few moments I figured that I was in a very dark part of an alleyway, with no idea why I began to search around trying to find some answers...” I continued, closing my eyes for a moment I am taking right back to the dreams. Usually when I would have them I would be afraid, but with Frank holding me my fears never surfaced. “Suddenly the silence is broken by a woman's fearful cry for help, seconds later I see the woman being attacked by a guy dressed in black...” Frank can tell that I am finding it hard and beings to gently caress my back, softly reassuring me all the time. “Without thinking I call out for him to stop and as he stops and looks over to me I immediately being to regret it, he slowly heads towards me causing my mind to panic...” I continue, sighing deeply with each gentle caress Frank delivers to my body. “By the time my mind has woken up to the fact that I am in danger the masked man was already almost within reach, as I turned to flee I ran as fast as I could to get to the main street...” I pause for a moment, trying not to be overwhelmed by the moment. “I could see the safety of the street ahead of me and I was within a few hundred feet of getting there when I felt a pair of hands grab me roughly, seconds later and before I could cry out I felt a sharp blow to the back of my skull; followed moments later by an intense pain...” I went on before I paused, my silence went on for a while and I'm sure Frank was concerned. Clearing his throat slightly, Frank spoke softly. “What happened then?” Smiling softly at Frank, I touched his cheek gently as I continued to explain about my dream. “I don't know Frank, every time I get to that bit I would wake up with one of your songs; normally My Way or New York New York playing on the radio. It's always the same and each time I had no idea why it happens...” “Until now, right?” Frank said, nodding I agree. “So who was that at the door? Something tells me it was about my dreams?” I asked, as Frank nodded in agreement. “Apparently some woman was attacked in the alleyway where I found you, the guy who attacked her was disturbed and ran off... The police wanted to know if either myself; Dean or Sammy had seen anything.” Frank said, pausing before looking up at me and continuing. “You saved her life Gabby.” He said softly, gently touching my cheek with the back of his hand. Sitting there my mind was still on what Frank had said and that I had indeed saved someone's life, I became aware of why I was there. It had never occurred to me that I could actually save someone's life, my mind was still thinking about it when I felt Frank softly touch my cheek. Smiling up at him there were no words needed for that moment, just a sense that we both knew how we felt. As we got comfortable next to each other on the huge plush king size bed Frank took me gently into his arms, holding each other for ages and hardly moving our positions. Tenderly he caressed my body, softly we kissed and slowly I could feel myself falling deeper in love with him. “You know I am never going to forget you, don't you?” Frank finally said, after a long silence. Nodding was all it took from me for him to understand, kissing my forehead softly and taking a deep breath he continued. “I love you Gabby, always will...” Closing his eyes, Frank settled down and gently pulled me close. “I love you too Frank and will never forget you either...” I replied, closing my eyes and settling down also. I knew it wouldn't be long before I would fall asleep again, pausing for a moment I continued. “Goodbye Frank... Thank you.” Was all I could manage, seconds later my eyes began to shut completely I heard Frank reply. “Goodnight my Darling Gabby...” Both of us knew we would more than likely never see each other again, but somehow neither of us felt sad. (Back in 2008) As I slowly come to my mind began to focus I knew instantly that Frank was no longer by my side, which made me well aware that I was back in 2008; what I didn't know was where or how I was. “Gabby?” I almost heard a faint voice say, I was trying to picture the voice when I heard it again; only this time a little louder. “Gabby... are you ok?” Slowly I began to open my eyes and focus slightly more, I mumbled some sort of an answer as I continue to try get my head awake. “I don't know... where am I?” They could just about make out what I said, their relief on their faces was obvious; if I could have seen them anyway! “Man, we thought we'd lost you back there! Paul saw you leave and tried to call after you, so we followed...” At last it clicked where I was, finally I knew where that voice was from... Michael and Paul had thankfully been there when I needed them, and I was more than grateful. Thanking them silently my eyes were now open and I was trying to get up from the bed and asking what had happened. “When we got to you, you were near the top of the alleyway and some masked dude was standing over you...” Michael began, as he tried to help me stand up. “We called out for him to leave you alone, which he did; and then we brought you back here.” Paul added, as he come to Michael's aid as I begun to get unsteady on my feet. “Where's my parents and Aunt? Are they ok?” I ask, holding onto Michael and Paul before I slowly sit down on the edge of the bed. “Steph has gone to get them, don't worry they'll be here any moment now.” Paul said, as he helped Michael get me sat on the bed. Nodding my thanks, I sat on the bed and tried to come too. “Did you ever get that thing sorted Gabby?” Michael asked me, looking slightly confused he explained a little more. “That thing you told us about, ending up in 1962 with Frank Sinatra?” Smiling slightly at the sound of his name told both Michael and Paul all they needed to know, but before I could answer Steph was entering the room with my parents and Aunt in tow; who were more than a little thankful I was alright. Assuring them I was ok, they spent a few moments fussing around me as I told them what had happened; of course leaving out the part about travelling back to 1962 and falling in love with Frank Sinatra! After we had all talked and had thanked Paul, Steph and Michael we said our goodbyes and headed back to our hotel. “Oh by the way Michael, yes it was all sorted out in the end...” I said as I walked out of the door and headed off, as I walked out into the cool night air of Manhattan it was as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Looking to the sky with its star filled canvas I somehow knew that things would be ok from now on, something just seemed to be different. Back at the hotel my parents and Aunt sat in the bar, unwinding from the day's events. Being a little tired I headed to the room, settling down I turned the TV on and found a music channel before curling myself into the bed sheets and shutting my eyes. Hey there pretty angel where have you gone. You with your good heart and soft tender touch. You with your sad blue eyes. Where have you gone? Here I am just sittin' here thinking. Thinking about your love and how I miss you so. How you showed me true love and how to love again. I miss you so; miss your smile; your face; your heart. Within seconds of hearing the first few words, I knew instantly that it was Frank singing what he called “My Song.” Wide-awake now I listened intently with my mind firmly fixed upon Frank and the day I had been having, I could still see him singing it to me that night. Oh, my love come back to me. Oh, my dear sweet angel know I miss you so; Know that my heart is yours. For now and always, my heart belongs to you. With me in my world and you in yours; Know that I will always love you; And that my heart belongs to you. My heart and soul will always be yours. Know this much my dear sweet angel; Whatever may part us, Whatever may come between us; Wherever you may go, I belong to you. Hey pretty angel, where have you gone? As the song came to an end, I lay back down; closing my eyes I smiled as I drifted off to sleep thinking about Frank, falling into a deep well earned sleep. Moonlight Lovers. Standing looking at myself in the full length mirror in my bedroom I try my hardest to find something positive to say about my dress and looks, but find it almost impossible. I look ok, I guess; I say to myself as I smooth my hand over the soft silk fabric of the deep blue evening dress I had only just purchased that morning. As I slipped the high heels I had also newly purchased on, taking one last long look in the mirror I had a million and one thoughts flood my mind at the same time. Would he be there? Was I making a complete fool of myself? What if I'm not enough for him? Did he really want me there? Every time I thought I was getting better my lack of self confidence and self esteem would rear its ugly head and bite me on the ass again! Now, as the night I had long since dreamed of looked to be coming true I was again struck with a bad case of nerves and self doubt what the hell would he see in me? I thought as I tried to calm myself with a small snack. Looking through the bare fridge I realised it was hopeless; I had two options open to me. I could turn up as I was and pray he was there or I could stay in and hide like I normally did. As I stood staring blankly into the fridge the matter was took out of my hands as I heard a knock at the door, walking to my front door I was shocked to find my best friend stood there sobbing her eyes out on my doorstep. “I didn't know where else to go Gabby, he's left me!” She managed to sob through the tears that had clearly been flowing all day, sighing deeply I invited her in and hugged her closely as he tears continued to fall. It has been three hours and still Sarah was crying, although the sobs had become silent and less heavy there they were still flowing. Although I wanted to be there for my friend, somewhere in the back of my mind I was still thinking about the wonderful man who had asked me to join him that evening at the party. “I'd be honoured if you would be my guest tonight Gabby, it's going to be a great party." He had said to me with a soft smile and kind eyes, the ones I had seen many times before but never this closely before. With thoughts raging through my mind I tried to think of my friend but when she noticed my attire after she had stopped crying, she asked me what was happening. “I've been invited to a party with...” Pausing, having no real idea what to call him, I tried to choose my words carefully. “An old friend from the club. But it's ok honey, you let it all out.” Hoping it would be enough I went and got us some more coffee, leaving her to composer herself and following me into the kitchen. “When do you have to be there Gabby?” Sarah asked, as she handed me the milk. “In an hour, if I go.” I reply honestly, still trying to find a reason to go to the party. “If it's him you are going with, you should go.” Was all she needed to say, both of us knowing what the other was thinking right at that moment. Standing there I begun to think about all that I had gone through over the past few months and how he had been there for me through all of it, how when I had been attacked he was the one who became my hero and saved my life. Throughout it all, he had been the one constant thing in my life and although I had feelings for him deep down which I couldn't explain the ones I could explain were just as strong. When I had needed a friend he was there for me and no matter what, I knew that as long as I kept my feelings closely guarded we could have a great night. Finally making my mind up to go, Sarah dropped me off at the bar and wished me good luck. Smiling and thanking her I said I hoped I wouldn't need it and left for the party. Walking into my local bar on any other night would have been easy, but this wasn't like any other night I had ever experienced and it wasn't easy. Standing in the doorway, my mind churning I felt a million and one different emotions running through my body all at once and while I tried my best to get them all straight in my mind I had no idea he would be feeling the same way. Sitting at the bar he would be going through hell in his mind, worrying that I wouldn't turn up and that I wouldn't want him among everything else that had seemingly become too much for him. “She'll be here mate, stop worrying!” John said as he put his hand on Harry's shoulder and tried to comfort his friend, trying to smile but knowing it would never reach his lips Harry sat there with thoughts running through his already overloaded mind. Stood by the door I watch as John tries to comfort his friend, I am captivated by how uncertain Harry seems. He's always so confident, I think to myself as I can feel my own nerves begin to calm and steady themselves. Walking over to his side he turns before I reach him, smiling at each other my own sense of relief is relayed in his deep brown eyes. “You look stunning Gabby...” Harry said after a moment of silence, and kissing me on the cheek he inhaled deeply revelling in my scent. “I wasn't sure if you were going to make it or not.” He said, blushing at his own lack of confidence. “Of course I would Harry; I wouldn't miss this party for the world.” I replied shyly, touched by his lack of confidence; glad that my own nerves were felt by him too. As the drinks were ordered and we had passed the time of day with each other the silence descended upon us both, leaving us feeling less confident than when we walked in. it was John that became out saviour, as he talked to us both and helped us both to feel at ease. “It should be a good party tonight; I've heard Becks will be there.” John said as he noted the tension in the air, smiling at him I was about to reply when a mutual friend who worked in the bar's kitchens came running out towards us. “Gabby, we need you in the back. Jess had cut her hand badly; can you come have a look at it?” Smiling at the fact I seemingly was never off duty; I nodded and followed him back to the kitchen. “What's up Harry? This isn't like you; you're normally all confident and bold.” John asked the moment I had walked away, causing a small smile to pass over Harry's lips. “You know why John, normally I'm the one in control.” Sighing deeply, Harry replied as John nodded; knowing only too well what he was feeling. “I've never felt like this, I don't know how to deal with it.” He continued, for a few moments both were silent, before John spoke. “Be honest, tell her the truth and just relax!” Before either had the chance to continue I appeared back at Harry's side. Running my hand softly up his back slightly caused him to jump slightly; turning to face me slightly there was a moment of silence between us. Nodding to Harry that he should talk to me, John made his excuses and left us alone to talk. “I'm so glad you have been there for me Gabby, when I lost Tina and the kids I couldn't have got through it without you.” Pausing to compose himself Harry moved a little closer to me and took my hand in his, before taking a deep breath and continuing unsure where this would all end. “You know, when my business went through it's rough patch you were there for me again. I really don't know what I'd do without you Gabby.” Wanting to say so much more, but unable to as the words got stuck in his throat Harry silently held my hand as he looked anywhere but into my eyes. “I feel the same way about you Harry...” I started to say as I felt him squeeze my hand lightly, knowing I too wanted to say more I took a deep breath and tried to continue. “When I got attacked, it was you that I ran to and you that saved me. And when my Nan passed away it was you who I cried on, your shoulder I leaned on.” Pausing again I felt Harry place his hand upon my back as he pulled me slightly into his warm embrace. “I feel the same way about you Harry, I don't think I could have made it without you either.” I say as I deeply inhale his scent, feeling how he reacted to my arm going around his waist. I can feel him react and pull me closer as we both relax in each others company, kissing my forehead lightly but lingering for as long as he could Harry spoke. “It was nothing; I know you would always do the same for me Gabby.” Feeling his genuine warmth and friendship, I felt like I could relax more and let tonight just take its course. As we travelled to the party and sat down to the meal the conversation was flowing, as always we got on like a house on fire and found ourselves becoming even closer friends than we already were. “Did you see Stuart having a go at their manager last match?” Harry asked as the first course came up, nodding as I say thank you to our waiter. “Yeah I did, we were standing close by wondering what he was going to do next. Kay said she'd like to tan his behind and take his football away!” Smiling and laughing we sit and eat while the conversation continues to flow freely. “How did you get on with that meeting the other day Harry? I remember you said it was bothering you about their uncertainty.” I ask as the main course comes up and we thank the waiter again, smiling at the waiter Harry waits a moment before replying. “Things were ok eventually, I thought they were going to mess me about but it was ok in the end. It's such a relief though; we have been after the contract for years.” Talking about anything and everything we both felt incredible relaxed with each other, but there was still an underlying feeling that we were avoiding the one thing we needed to talk about most. As the desserts came and went, neither of us had broached the subject of why we had both turned up to the party. When Harry had asked me to go with him my first thought was it would be as friends, but when he had the chance to take a girl I assumed was his girlfriend and he didn't I was kind of shocked. It is true that when I first met Harry I fell instantly in love with him, but in all honesty there were very few women that couldn't fall for him. Six foot two inches with a very athletic and toned build, Harry had handsome boyish good looks that most women would fall for anyway. But when you added his good looks and charm to his sensitive nature and sense of humour, there were very few women who could resist. Harry's personality would be something else women loved, he was an honest loyal loving old fashioned gentleman and it wouldn't be long after he lost Tina and the kids that women came calling so to speak. Sitting watching the others dance and get into the swing of the party, I sat with Harry talking about our lives. “What happened to Lucy? She seemed nice Harry; you could have brought her here with you.” It wasn't that I didn't want to be here or that I didn't want to be with him, but my lack of confidence and self esteem would never allow me to believe that he was here with me because he wanted or liked me. “Would you rather that?” Harry replied, it wasn't meant but the coldness and shortness in his tone was easy to spot. “Don't you want to be here with me?” He added with sadness and almost disappointment, trying to search his eyes for what he was feeling Harry kept them fixed firmly to the table. “It's not that Harry, I just thought you two were an item. She's nice, she likes you.” I said trying to smooth things over but knowing the damage had already been done, sighing deeply I could tell something was on his mind. “Yes she's very nice and I know she likes me, we're not an item as she's not who I want.” Was all Harry said, and that's all it took for my heart to miss a beat. “I'm sorry Harry, I didn't mean to...” Letting my voice trail off I knew that anything I said now would not help; I'd already got it wrong. Smiling and looking at me, for a moment the silence fell between while Harry tried to find the right words. “It's ok Gabby, I know what you meant. Lucy was a lovely young lady, just not what I want.” He replied, taking my hand in his and trying to make me feel at ease. I wanted to press further but the moment was lost when John came back over, slumping down next to me I could tell he'd had a little more to drink than he should. “Hey sexy, wanna dance?” Grinning at me I knew he'd had a lot to drink, but even though I said no I still got dragged to the dance floor. As we danced our way round the floor, laughing with each other and giggling like children I could feel Harry's eyes on me. All the time I danced his eyes were on me, watching me studying me intently. Both I and John were aware of this and as a slow song came on and we moved into a close embrace as we dance, he spoke. “You know Harry was really glad you could make it, he wouldn't have wanted to be here with anyone else.” John said as he moved closer to my ear, inhaling the scent wafting up the nape of my neck. As I hear him sighing slightly I can sense this conversation could take a dangerous turn if I didn't watch things, pulling back slightly I smile and answer him. “I'm glad I could make it too, and that Harry invited me. I was a little shy and nervous I admit, but Harry is great at making me relaxed.” I say trying to smile and stop my overactive imagination working overtime, knowing that both I and John couldn't go down this road especially after the last time. Although when I first met both Harry and John it was Harry I fell for it was John that I dated, not that I didn't like John too it was just that I wanted Harry right from the start. While Harry was a good friend and happily married it was John that I was getting closer to, and it was John that broke my heart. Not that I would ever let him know that of course! John was known for having a ‘roving eye' and when I had taken about as much as I could I would confront John, we would fight and he would walk away from me. While it did hurt me and I did feel betrayed I soon realised that I was being a little over protective, especially since he had never strayed. Over the years we would talk and make up, but never again would either I or John ever be able to get back to a relationship with each other. As the song finished I thanked John and walked back to the table, noting how Harry who had been watching me intently seemed to smile more as I walked back to his side. Before I got the chance to sit down Harry was up off his feet and holding his hand out to me, smiling as he spoke. “Would you care to dance with me now Gabby?” Nodding I take his hand and follow as Harry leads me to the dance floor, pulling me into his arms as the music starts to play. We dance close and talk, I note how well Harry dances. “I never knew you could dance so well Harry.” I say as we twirl around and slowly gyrate to the seductive sounds of the amazing live singer called Cat, feeling him pulling me closer as the lights dim even more and the songs begin to slow more. Smiling into my hair as he pulls me close, Harry replied. “I love dancing, just don't get the chance to do it as much as I would like to.” Holding me in his arms Harry knows he needs to be honest and tell me what he really feels but actually finding the right words could be easier said than done, sighing I can sense Harry has something on his mind. “What's wrong Harry?” I ask as I pull back slightly, noticing the vacant look in his eyes. I began to worry that maybe something was wrong, or that he didn't want to be here with me anymore. The other thing that went through my mind was the way John had gotten a little too close to me again, I had always had a good relationship with both John and Harry but after I split up with John things always had an ‘atmosphere' between us all. “Nothing's wrong Gabby, I just...” Harry started, having no real idea what he wanted to say. He knew he wanted to tell Gabby he loved her but getting that into the right words could be easier said than done, looking at her he knew in his heart he couldn't let her walk away tonight without telling her how he felt. Taking a deep breath Harry felt like it was now or never, pulling me close slightly he spoke. “Take a walk outside with me Gabby? I want to talk, but can't with the music so loud.” Ok it may have been a little bit of a fib, but Harry knew he could never say what he wanted here and now. Nodding I follow Harry outside of the hall and over to the park across the road, walking in comfortable silence both well aware of the heightened atmosphere surrounding them. Walking through the park I notice the bright moonlight that is shining down upon us, sighing at its beauty I slip my arm through his instinctively. “It's a beautiful night isn't it Harry?” I say, trying to get comfortable with the silence that is surrounding us both. “Yes it is, very romantic don't you think Gabby?” Harry replied, trying to find the right words. Not really answering but taking in the beauty of it all we walk over and sit on a nearby bench, sitting closely together. “Gabby?” Harry started to say; hoping he would be right and that I would not reject him and would feel the same way. Turning slightly to face him I noticed how Harry couldn't look me in the eyes, hoping I was wrong and that he felt the same way I did. “I meant what I said about not being able to do this without you Gabby; you have been there so much for me.” Pausing to gather his thoughts, Harry took a deep breath and prayed he was right. “I'm glad you could make it tonight also, I was worried that you wouldn't want to be with me. It's been a long time Gabby; I am a little out of practise here!” Seeing his smile I can sense that he's trying to stop his nerves and make him feel more at ease, wanting to say something and put him at ease I take his hand in my own and go to speak. “Please Gabby let me finish, I need to say this. When I said it wasn't Lucy I wanted to be here with I meant it, it's you.” Taking a deep breath he goes to speak again but finds the words get stuck in his throat, staring back out over the moonlit park trying to calm himself. “What are you telling me Harry?” I ask, hoping that he feels the same way I do. Sighing and taking a deep breath while still trying to find the right words Harry lets go of my hand and gets up from the bench, walking over to the side of the lake. Watching the moonlight dance across the water Harry got lost in the moment trying to find the words to say I love you he never noticed I had walked over to his side and was now stood slightly behind him, looking out over the same moonlit lake taking in its silent beauty. I can hear his deep sighs as I realised he was trying to find the correct words to say how he felt, and although I had hardly any confidence or self esteem I felt that maybe; just maybe he felt the same way about me. Should I risk it and say something? I thought to myself, it would be the first time I had ever been bold and said how I felt. Even when I was seeing John, I never once told him how I felt first because I never could. Taking a deep breath I spoke, hoping to find the courage from somewhere deep inside. “Dance with me Harry?” Looking at me questioningly Harry turned to face me, holding my arms out so he could take me in his own. Nodding Harry pulled me into his arms and we started to sway gently to the music in our minds, letting the mood and the romance of the evening wash over us. Feeling the emotions of the evening washing over him, Harry took a deep breath and went to say the words he'd been longing to say even since the two had first met. “Gabby, I've been longing to tell you how I feel. Every since we first met I have wanted to tell you I like you a lot and want to be with you.” Wanting to say those three words Harry sighed at only being able to say that he liked her, loosening his arms and grip from around her waist he prayed she wouldn't back away. “I feel the same way about you Harry, it was you I wanted and you I wished I could have been with. You must know by now that I have fallen for you?” There I had said it, I had told the truth. Staying in his arms we both stood still, facing each other our hearts beating as one. Silence surrounding us, neither needing to speak our eyes conveyed all they needed to say. “Oh God Gabby, I feel the same way! I have been in love with you since we first met.” Harry now felt able to say as he pulled me closer into his warm embrace, cupping my face in his hands gently he lays a soft tender assault of light kisses upon my lips. Slowly the kisses became more passionate and longer until we softly kissed a true lovers kiss, feeling and hearing him moan slightly against my lips made my own desire rise. Feeling his passions and desire growing caused me to shiver, pulling away he spoke. “Are you cold my love? Here take my jacket.” Taking the jacket from around his body Harry wrapt it around my cold body, feeling loved as he gently kissed my forehead. Taking me by the hand Harry led me off back toward the hall and hotel that would be our accommodation for the evening, smiling to the doorman as we walked inside. Assuming we would be going for a quiet drink I was almost disappointed when we headed to the elevator, then moments later I was shocked as me headed straight for the top floor knowing that neither of our rooms were here. “Where are we going Harry?” I ask as he just smiles at me and tells me to wait, chuckling to himself when I pull a face that says I can't wait. Walking out of the lift Harry takes me by the hand and we head off in the direction of the penthouse suite, stopping at the door he takes a silk blindfold from his pocket and questioningly moves towards me. Nodding I turn slightly so Harry can blindfold me, after doing do he leads me forward as I assume we are heading inside the penthouse suite. “Just a little further my darling, and then we can take the blindfold off.” Harry's words sooth me and make me feel strangely calm and serene and as I came to a stand still I didn't feel as scared as I thought I would, even when Harry let go of me for a few moments I was still amazingly calm and relaxed. Taking the blindfold from my eyes, Harry stood holding me in his arms from behind as I adjusted to my surroundings. The room was decked out with scented candles and soft music playing in the background, although the room was very minimalist in it furnishings what it did have made it feel very cosy. There was a balcony where the double doors had been opened and the moonlight shone inside, a table sat with two chairs and my favourite wine sat chilling in the cooler sat upon the table joined with two lead crystal cut glass glasses. Feeling the romance of the night overwhelming my already overloaded thoughts I shivered again, causing Harry to pull me closer and kiss my neck gently. “You should see our bedroom my dear sweet Gabrielle” Harry soft accent seemed to be smoother as his softly continued to caress my body and kiss my neck, leaning into him I close my eyes and just get washed away with the emotions of the evening. Taking me by the hand a leading me to the balcony Harry pours us a glass of wine each and as we stand watching the moon shining bright in the sky I can feel myself fall further in love with the man stood there searching my eyes. “Here's to a long and most passionate romance.” Harry says as he raises his glass in a toast to our relationship, knowing it could never feel wrong I join in the toast as I stare out over the beautiful view from our balcony. Taking my hand in his after we had finished our drink, Harry leads me off to our bedroom. Inside I find there's more scented candles in here, a king size four poster bed with silk sheets that are covered with red and pink rose petals. Feeling Harry's kiss upon my neck I again shiver at his touch, safe in his arms I give myself to him as I had wanted to do so many times in the past, finally feeling whole once again. The Knight's Pledge. He lays down his sword At the foot of his King And says “I am yours To command anything.” “I give you my life I will serve evermore My loyalty is to you King of all, my Lord.” “Send me into battle And I will surely go Lead me into darkness I will defeat my foe.” “Wherever you lead me Whenever you call me I will abide by your command I will answer to you only.” He kneels before his King Surrendering all strife The pledge of his service The pledge of his life The King rises from the throne And smiles at his loyal knight, “Heed the command I give to you: Go forth and be a light!” Christmas Kisses Under the Mistletoe. (A WtD FanFic written by me, but using the Waking the Dead characters.) The team had just finished their last case and it had taken its toll on all of them, not least of all Grace. Grace had seemingly gone through hell over the course of the last six months which culminated in this nasty case of gangland killings, something Boyd was aware of but not the others in the team was how Grace's violent ex was part of the same gang that had been targeted. Over the course of the case Boyd would often ask after Grace, making sure she was still ok not just to continue the case but also in general. The pair had been good friends ever since the Unit had been started up, both had knowledge of each other's reputations and both had been more than a little eager to work with the other. As Boyd walked out into the crisp cold winter air he pulled the collar of his coat up and wrapped his jacket tighter around him, he hated Christmas time and was not looking forward to heading into the City. Okay, he knew what he wanted to do but it's just he hated Shopping at the best of times, he wasn't very good at it if he was honest but when you added Christmas time into the fray as well Boyd realised this could be a disaster. Back in the Unit Grace sat in her office and tried to relax and get her mind off the case the team had just finished, it had been a rough case for all involved but it was Grace that would suffer the most. Only Boyd knew the real reasons and it had been he that she would seek out when things would get too much for her or if she just needed to talk to someone, and although he could be annoying at times Grace would be glad of Boyd and his friendship. Grace had known of Boyd's glowing reputation for a while, many of the colleagues she worked with over the years have spoken of Peter Boyd and his work ethic. When he had asked her to go and work for him, she had felt honoured and proud that her own reputation had reached him. What she wasn't expecting was how her feelings would overwhelm her once they had first met, she wasn't expecting to feel emotions that she thought had long since died within her the moment he took her hand and introduced himself to her when they first met at her ‘interview.' Putting her glasses on the files in front of her and closed her eyes for a moment trying to clear her thoughts. Walking around the shops getting shoved and pushed from pillar to post as he searched for something that said how he felt, Boyd wished he was better at everything and then he wouldn't need to be here getting madder and stressed out. As some old lady ran over his foot with her shopping trolley and another jabbed him in the side with her umbrella Boyd did his best to think calming thoughts, reminding himself often that this was for Grace and that he couldn't leave without something for her. Boyd knew he had never been that great at buying things for women, especially those he cared about but now he found himself in the position he was and if he was honest it scared the hell out of him. It wasn't the only thing that worried him if he was honest with himself, the feelings he had always felt for Grace was something he had tried to deny and fight. But now he felt that he could no longer deny these feelings any longer, especially after it was clear to even him that they needed each other. Smiling to himself as he walked past the jewellery department Boyd couldn't help but venture in and have a look, maybe he would find what he was looking for inside. As Grace sat trying to clear her mind of not only the recent case but also the feelings she was having for Boyd her phone rang causing Grace to sigh as she answered the phone, surprised by the voice for a moment on the other end of the line. “Hi Mum, how are you?” Grace smiled as she heard Frankie's friendly voice on the line. “Frankie! It's so good to hear from you, we are fine but how's things with you?” Grace did her best to avoid answering how she was feeling, mainly because she herself didn't know the answer! As the two talked about everything but what both really wanted to say, both could relax and forget about their already overloaded thoughts. Finally Frankie took a deep breath and said what she had been longing to say ever since she had picked the phone and called Grace. “Grace, I wanted to call for another reason other than it's Christmas.” Grace knew that moment the concern she had felt when she first picked the phone up was for a reason. “What is it Frankie?” As the two woman talked the shock became evident on Grace's face and she would suggest the pair met which thankfully Frankie agree would be a good idea. As Boyd spotted it sparkling away in the glass cabinet, he knew instantly that it was perfect for Grace. It said everything he wanted to say and everything he felt perfectly, the only trouble was he didn't know how to put it into words. As Boyd stood purchasing the piece of sparkling jewellery he thought about how long it had been since he had felt such butterflies inside of him, that and how he missed Mel and Frankie. Although it had been two years now the pain and regret he still felt was all too real, and part of the reason he was seeking professional help in the form of anger management. Realising his own sadness rising inside of him Boyd concentrated on the present that the sales assistant was wrapping, smiling and thanking the assistant Boyd paid and left heading for the restaurant to make the booking in readiness for tonight. As he returned to the Unit he met Grace heading the other way, hiding her gift behind his back Boyd spoke. “Hi Grace, of somewhere nice?” “Well yes actually, I'm off out to lunch with our good friend Dr. Wharton.” Grace replied as she saw the gift Boyd tried to hide behind his back, hoping inside it was for her. Smiling as the pair walked away from each other Boyd laid the reservations on her desk for when she got back from lunch. Spotting Frankie the moment she walked in Grace walked a little faster as she approached her friend's side and spoke. “Frankie, it's great to see you! So what are you drinking?” After the drinks had been ordered the pair had sat talking about anything and everything but what both were there for, until Frankie took a deep breath and spoke. “You know as much as I love our small talk, that isn't why I asked you here.” Pausing so she could get what she was about to say right in her own mind first, Frankie took a deep breath before she continued. “A few months after I left here I was still down and hurting about Mel and everything...” Pausing so she could choose her words correctly before continuing. “I met a guy and we got on well, and well the result was a daughter.” Wanting to say more and what she had come for but sensing Grace's shock she stopped. “Oh Frankie, wow. That's an awful lot for me to take in.” Was all Grace could say as the two friends sat drinking their coffees, taking another deep breath Frankie went on. “There is more Grace. Although I know it is a little late I wanted to ask if you minded me calling her Amelia Grace?” Overwhelmed by the thought that someone close wanted to name their child after her brought a tear to Grace's eye and as she took her hankie from her pocket Frankie spoke again. “Aww Grace, please don't cry on me! There is something else I wanted to ask, not just you but Boyd too.” As Grace stopped crying she could feel herself smile at the sound of his name, thinking to herself how daft it was that she; a grown woman should felt so like a love sick teenager made Grace smile slightly more. “Will you and Boyd be Godparents to her?” Grace's head shot up and her eyes widened as she let Frankie's words sink in, trying to find the words she had was searching for caused Grace to open and close her mouth several times before she was able to pull herself together and speak. “Frankie, I would be so delighted and honoured to be your daughter's Godmother, I can't speak for Boyd though I am sure he will feel the same.” “You mean, you two still haven't become more than just friends? Aww Grace, he so fancies you!” Frankie was never shy in saying what she felt and this was one of those times when she wouldn't hold back. “Frankie!” Grace said as both women looked shocked and sensing that Grace would give nothing away Frankie held her hands up in defeat and spoke. “Ok Grace ok, just promise me you will stop by tonight and meet your new baby Goddaughter?” Nodding the two women finished their coffees and headed back to the Unit. As soon as they walked in Boyd knew his plans that evening may not work out as he planned and as Frankie came in and wanted to talk to him all Boyd could do was think of Grace and how he desperately wanted this evenings plans to work out. “.... So, Grace has already agreed to be Godmother. I was wondering if you would be her Godfather.” Frankie's words brought Boyd out of his daydream quickly and for a moment he just sat there silently staring at Frankie while opening and closing his mouth, trying to find the correct words for her. “You're a mother?” Was all he could say, still sat in shock. “Christ Boyd, didn't you listen? I just told you.” Rolling her eyes in much the same way Mel would have done, Frankie sighed and spoke again. “I said I had a daughter called Amelia Grace and I wanted you and Grace to be her Godparents.” Shaking her head as she smiled over Boyd's inability to concentrate, Frankie asked him what he thought. Beaming with pride Boyd got up out of his seat and walked over to Frankie who had also rose from her chair. Taking her in his arms and congratulating her Boyd spoke. “Frankie, I am so flattered you asked me and of course I would be delighted to be Godfather to little Amelia Grace.” Trying not to let his tears fall Boyd pulled away as Frankie spoke once more. “It would be great if you could meet your Goddaughter tonight after work?” The smile that had been present upon Boyd's face had quickly disappeared as he realised what Frankie was asking him, not wanting to let her or his new Goddaughter down Boyd felt torn as he too didn't want this chance; maybe his one last chance with Grace to slip away. Taking a deep breath Boyd spoke. “I would love to be there, but I had planned on taking someone out to dinner tonight.” Not sure if Grace would except or not also kept Boyd from being more positive in his plan. “Oh it's alright Boyd, why don't you come round tomorrow night after work?” Frankie was understandable upset but understood that after all he had gone through in his life he too had just as much right to happiness as anyone else. Nodding an agreement Frankie left and went off to talk to Spence who was just a shocked and pleased to see his friend. Grace had been sat in her office for a while now and although she knew it was doing her no good and she wasn't getting any work done she just couldn't take her eyes from the reservation that lay in front of her, picking it up and running her fingers over it she could sense her heartbeat increasing as she studied it in more detail. She knew the scruffy handwriting on it anywhere, so the last thing she needed to do was ask who had sent it. Maybe after all these years she would finally be able to tell him what she had been keeping locked deep inside all the years they had been colleagues and friends, maybe that gift he had tried to hide really was for her. Although she felt happy for a moment Grace now felt sad that she would have to cancel on Boyd, she had already made arrangements to see Frankie and her Goddaughter. Knowing it would hurt him to cancel Grace waited until the end of the day and both had five minutes alone. Taking a deep breath as she walked out of her office and headed towards Boyd's office, saying goodbye to both Stella and Spence as they left for home. Walking straight in without knocking alerted Boyd to the fact that she wanted to talk and stopped what he was doing and headed to the sofa Grace had sat down on. “I hope you don't mind me booking up before I asked you, but I thought we could go grab dinner after work?” Boyd's palms were sweaty and as he tried to slow his breathing and heartbeat down he prayed she couldn't sense the nerves he had deep within him. Taking a deep breath and knowing he would be disappointed Grace spoke, not daring to look up at him. “Peter I'm sorry, but I have already promised Frankie I would go round and see her tonight. I am sure you will understand?” Praying and hoping that he would, feeling the sadness rise deep within him Boyd tried with all he had to find the right words for her. Inside he wanted to say that yes he did mind and that he wanted to go out with her instead, but Boyd knew he couldn't do that and instead he finally managed to say that it was ok and it didn't matter. As Grace got up to leave she felt his heart break along with her own sadness and pain, as she turned to leave Boyd called after her. “I wanted to give this to you tonight.” As she turned around Boyd handed Grace the gift-wrapped present she had seen him hide earlier, causing her heart to break further. “It's just a little something to say how much you mean to me and that I appreciate all that you do for me, well all of us really.” Knowing he wasn't making it any better or easier Boyd handed the gift over and walked outside to the main office as he tried to find something to make him look busy. Opening the gift Grace's eyes fell upon the most beautiful diamond necklace she had ever seen, taking it from the box Grace was transfixed as to how it sparkled and caught the light. Thinking about how she felt and the things he had just said to her Grace felt terrible for turning him down and was in two minds as to if she should call Frankie or not, sensing that if she did Frankie would only tease her about it. Walking out into the main office she saw how Boyd tried his best to keep busy and not turn round to face her, taking a deep breath she spoke. “Peter, this necklace is so beautiful. You really shouldn't have, but I am most grateful. Maybe I could wear it when we go for dinner tomorrow?” Hoping this would ease the atmosphere between the pair somewhat. Shaking his head Boyd spoke. “I told Frankie I was going out tonight so, I will be seeing my; our Goddaughter tomorrow night.” Smiling at what she could tell was Frankie's way of match making, Grace walked over to Boyd's side and noticed the piece of mistletoe hanging about Spencer's chair. Smiling to herself at how the charming DI Spencer Jordan had placed it there while getting into the festive sprit earlier on in the day. Smiling as Boyd turned round he went to ask what was wrong and then followed Grace's eyes upwards. Smiling the self same smile Grace was Boyd went to speak and then stopped, taking a deep breath he needed to say it as it was a now or never moment for him. “Grace?” He started. “Yes Peter?” Grace felt she knew where this was going and was unsure as to how she would handle it, after all it had been a long time for both she knew that but after they had both kept their feelings secret Grace was unsure if now would be the right time. “Grace, you know that it is customary to kiss when you are under mistletoe?” Was all that Boyd could think to say, ok he knew he wanted to say more but he just couldn't find the words he needed to say what he felt. Smiling at his shyness and boldness Grace looked up into his deep brown eyes and saw the little lost puppy dog routine his eyes seemed to do so well and instantly felt her desires and emotions rise within her. “We could just go to Frankie's together? After all I am sure that is what she really wanted.” Grace tried to fight the urge she had deep down to take Boyd and kiss him passionately, after all he is the king of the mixed signals! Grace thought to herself as she tried to concentrate on anything but what she was feeling deep inside. Smiling Boyd took Grace in his arms and pulled her closer into his chest and spoke. “I agree Grace, but do I not get a Christmas kiss under the mistletoe first before we go?” Smiling and looking into her deep passionate blue eyes Boyd feel like a child again and put on his best ‘puppy dog eyes' routine, hoping and praying they would work this time. Smiling as she looked deep into his eyes and tried not to fall any deeper Grace nodded slightly and moved forward, as Boyd did the same the pair were inches away from each other's lips when both stopped as if to tease each other Grace turned around and asked Boyd to fasten her necklace. Sensing how he smiled and almost sighed through disappointment Grace held her hair up and moved her head slightly so her neck was visible, and an easy target for Boyd's tender soft lips to gently attack once he had fastened the necklace. As he brought his lips away from Grace's neck he felt how she shivered and shuddered with pleasure at his touch, gently caressing her neck he moved his lips to her ear and spoke in a soft whisper. “I can't tell you how long I have wanted to do that to you Gracie, you are so beautiful.” Kissing her neck again Grace was almost overwhelmed by the pleasure and desire it had created within her, it had taken her by surprise just like her the first time she had felt the passion, which he evoked within the very first time they had met. “I feel the same Peter.” Was all she could manage as he again kissed her neck gently and then turned her so she was facing him, unable to look into his eyes at first until he gently took her face and lifted it to meet his own. Gently stroking the side of her cheek with his free hand Boyd smiled as he went to say the words he had been longing to say but trying to keep secret since they had first met. “Grace I have always had feelings for you, you must know that?” As she blushed he took it that she didn't, and as he sighed and pulled her close he spoke. “Oh Gracie, I have always loved you. Since the day we met I knew I would never be happy until you were with me.” Kissing her forehead Grace felt loved, wanted and safe like never before. And like never before she felt ready to let someone into her heart again as she pulled away slightly she spoke. “I feel the same way Peter, I have done since we first met. I never thought you would ever feel the same way about me!” Smiling and blushing at how daft it sounded Grace went to pull away but Boyd pulled her back, for a moment she looked into his eyes questioningly until she saw his cheeky smile. “Shut up and kiss me Peter.” Was all it took before Boyd took the hint and did as he was instructed to do. Pulling Grace gently into his arms, Boyd's lips softly touched her own lips as the pair kissed a true lovers kiss under the mistletoe. As their kissing became more and more passionate, Grace stroked Boyd's back through his shirt causing his desire to react and show her he was more than a little happy to be there, kissing her back with all the passion he could muster while trying to keep his desires in check Boyd ran his soft hands down Grace's side as felt how she again shivered and shuddered at his touch. Knowing they should both stop and realising they both had somewhere else to be didn't seem to be enough for either to want to stop, after all they were both happy and enjoying these emotions and feelings being created by each other deep within their souls. As first Grace, then Boyd's and finally the office phones rang both knew they must stop. And as both finally pulled away both were more than a little relieved to find the other having just as hard time of catching the breath as the other. In almost silent shock the pair got their stuff and left the office as they reached both their cars Boyd pulled Grace into his arms once more and spoke. “God Gracie, I love you!” As he held her there in his arms Grace spoke. “And I love you Peter.” In the silence both didn't want this moment to end but as their phones rang again both knew it must, getting into his car the pair smiled and kissed once more before heading off in the direction of Frankie's flat knowing that the kiss they had shared under the mistletoe would last a long time maybe even forever! You Could be. You could be The making of me Please love me if you have the time There's so much I can be Build me up, set me free Take me, Make me. Don't break me Be mine You could be The love that I need A love I could never define Something new, something true Something I see in you Hold me, own me, I'm lonely Be mine You should be The other half to me Together we would be divine Without, I'm so blue I only want you Be there, be fair, just care and Be mine His Ways. His ways catch my eye I watch him all times. My thoughts in solitude start to run in rhymes. His kiss like a lover's sigh leaving me an appetite to be wined and wooed beneath his spell all night. His laughter brings smiles unconsciously to my lips. I feel a liquid heart pound down to fingertips. no need for woman's wiles he's a natural man, he ends every start in a way only he can. His ways catch my soul I love him all times and the rhythm of my pulse starts to run in rhymes. Tweet
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