SKYTREK - CHAPTER 15 (standard:humor, 3292 words) [15/15] show all parts
Author: Danny Miami	Added: May 24 2010	Views/Reads: 2042/1695	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Last Chapter of the comedy adventure Star Trek parody novel.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story


Ricky, my younger brother, was off on his own, looking up some old
friends he had on the planet... At the disco : Ricky was sitting in a 
dimly lit corner. He had his arm round a girl and was smoking a long 
fat cigarette. “Yeah, this is pretty good stuff,” he drawled, exhaling. 
“I'll take some more.” “Sure,” said the youth sitting next to him. “Got 
anything to trade for it?” “Got something really special,” Ricky 
replied, grinning. He opened his jacket and reached under his shirt. 
“This,” he drawled, bringing out the Pendant. 

Lieutenant Youhoor, being a gregarious extroverted character, was
spending her holiday getting to know the people of Clumzy. I'm sure 
she'll make a lot of friends as her appetite for meeting new people 
seems insatiable... In a hotel room near the beach : A group of young 
men were sitting around, drinking and chatting. The bedroom door opened 
and a man came out. He looked pretty tired and dishevelled but had a 
contented grin on his face. “Next!” Youhoor yelled lustily from the 
bedroom. 

Mr Zulu, our Navigator, said he wanted to stock up on his collection of
bones and he disappeared for a couple of days, scouring the planet, 
looking for them... Outdoors at night : Zulu was in a graveyard, prying 
open a coffin. Thinking he heard a noise he glanced round suspiciously 
then dived behind a high pile of earth for cover. After a few moments 
he re-appeared, held a lamp up high and peered into the darkness. 
Satisfied that there was nothing moving in the graveyard except 
himself, he came out from behind his cover and returned to the coffin. 
When he managed to get the lid off, his eyes widened and his white 
teeth gleamed in the lamplight as he grinned. “Great!” he muttered, 
rubbing his hands together. “Lotsa bones!” 

Dennis and Otto, the two Klingers we captured, liked the planet and have
decided to stay on when we leave. Otto loves the beaches and has 
finally got the chance to use his bucket and spade. But Dennis! Dennis 
is the only person I've ever come across who actually had to be 
tortured to stop him giving away secrets. Mr Bradley was happy to 
provide the treatment... On the beach : Otto was wearing a long, 
striped bathing outfit and a hat with ‘KISS ME QUICK' written on it. He 
was grunting happily to himself and building sandcastles. Sitting 
nearby, Dennis was gazing out to sea. He had a black eye and a sticking 
plaster over the bridge of his nose. “They'll never stop me talking!” 
he muttered, defiantly punching the sand. “Never!” 

PART THREE 

Captain Kork sighed and shook his head at the freakish natures of his
crew as he closed his Diary. Strange though they were he wouldn't 
change them and tomorrow they would all be returning from their break 
and the Orion would set course for Earth. 

He settled himself comfortably in his chair, poured himself a small
drink and swung his feet up on to his console. As he usually did at the 
end of each voyage, he began reviewing the entire mission from start to 
finish, mainly to take note of what mistakes they had made so they 
wouldn't be repeated in future. 

He had just reached the part where he and Mr Sprock were trapped on the
two narrow pillars in Kharg's room on Dulcodaz when the bridge door 
swished open behind him. The Captain frowned – he was supposed to be on 
the ship by himself. 

“Don't you just love the way the bridge doors swish open?” a familiar
rasping voice mockingly asked. 

The Captain spun round quickly in his chair. “Kharg!” he muttered,
slowly getting to his feet. 

Kharg's yellow eyes glittered and his pointed teeth appeared as he
smiled. He drifted into the bridge and set down one of the golden 
caskets. 

“But you're dead!” said the Captain. “You and Draygo were killed when we
destroyed the Klinger battle fleet.” 

Kharg's harsh laughter echoed round the empty bridge. “You fool!” he
rasped. “Do you think a mere Earthling could destroy me!?” 

“Then how did you escape?” 

“I saw the Orion attacking on a scanner on the Mother Ship,” rasped
Kharg. ”Before it exploded I changed myself into pure energy and beamed 
aboard here.” 

“But that's impossible,” said the Captain. 

“For you – yes! For me – no!” hissed Kharg. “You forget that I am a
superior being. I can adopt any form I want.” 

He shimmered and changed into a long green snake and began undulating
across the floor. Involuntarily, the Captain stepped back. Kharg's 
harsh laughter rang out again and the snake shimmered and changed into 
a snarling black jaguar. 

It bared its fangs at the Captain and growled menacingly then leapt at
him. He raised his arms to protect himself but in mid-leap the jaguar 
shimmered and changed back into Kharg. 

“Child's play,” he rasped mockingly. 

Child's play or not the demonstration convinced the Captain. “So you
transferred yourself aboard the Orion,” he acknowledged. “Why?” 

“Because I now need it to carry out my original plan,” rasped Kharg. “I
still intend to destroy Earth.” 

“With the Orion?” the Captain asked, puzzled. 

“The Orion and this!” rasped Kharg. He opened the gold casket revealing
one of the giant phials of jet black liquid. 

“Anti-Matter!” said the Captain, staring at it. 

“Enough to destroy your interfering little planet. And you will take me.
In the Orion.” 

“Never!” declared the Captain stubbornly. 

Kharg sighed impatiently, slowly brought up his left hand and pointed a
long bony finger at him. 

The Captain's eyes snapped shut and all of a sudden he was falling. The
Orion was gone and he was falling through cold empty space to the 
planet below. He plunged through some fluffy white clouds, scattering 
them and he could see lights twinkling in the town beneath him. 

He flailed at the air and screamed but the rushing wind tore the sound
away. The buildings below were looming closer and he could see people 
moving about in the streets. He felt the panic rising in his gut and 
flailed at the air again but it didn't slow him any. 

He flashed past a tall building narrowly missing the edge of the roof
and as he glanced down, the ground seemed to be rushing up to meet him. 
He screamed again and this time he heard it echoing off the walls of 
the buildings around him. 

One second before he smashed into the ground his eyes snapped open and
he was standing on the bridge of the Orion. Still screaming. 

Kharg's harsh laughter echoed round the bridge. “You are so easily
dominated,” he rasped. “Now take your seat and get the ship moving, 
unless you require another demonstration.” 

Still shaking from his experience, the Captain walked over to the
Helmsman's seat and sat down then took a few moments to collect 
himself. When he'd recovered he strapped himself in then concentrated 
on the instrument panel in front of him 

He began tapping in instructions and slowly the Orion swung round and
then gathered speed and began heading up out of Clumzy's atmosphere. 
“Plot in a course for Earth,” rasped Kharg, “and remember – I'll be 
watching your every move.” 

PART FOUR 

“Fifteen minutes until we re-enter Earth's atmosphere,” Captain Kork
announced. 

Kharg drifted over. “Sit in your own chair,” he rasped. “Everything must
look normal when you contact Federation Control. Do it now.” 

The Captain walked over to his own seat, slipped into it and punched a
few buttons on a panel in the arm. The forward observation screen 
changed from a view of Earth to one of a young woman who was wearing a 
Federation Space Control Lieutenant's uniform. 

She smiled warmly. “Welcome home, Orion,” she said. 

The Captain returned her smile. “This is Captain James T. Kork on the
Federation ship Orion,” he said. “We shall be approaching Earth's 
atmosphere in ten minutes. Do we have re-entry and docking permission?” 


The young Lieutenant checked her monitor. “Re-entry permission
approved,” she replied. “Re-enter along Corridor Two Zero Nine and then 
proceed to Docking Bay Seven on arrival.” 

“Thank you, Lieutenant,” said the Captain. “Orion out.” 

As he was punching the buttons to return the observation screen to
normal view, Kharg's harsh laughter rang round the bridge. 

“A Federation ship returning from a mission!” he rasped. “Why should
anyone be suspicious?” He drifted over beside the Captain. “Once we 
have re-entered Earth's atmosphere you shall proceed as directed,” he 
instructed. “When we reach the Docking Bay I shall jettison this,” he 
rasped, holding up the giant phial of Anti-Matter. “You will have an 
excellent view of your planet being destroyed.” 

Without warning the forward observation screen view of Earth changed and
was replaced by a familiar ugly figure. He had a high forehead, 
straight black hair that fell in a centre parting to his shoulders and 
was wearing a red and black leather uniform. 

This time it was Kharg's turn to be surprised. “Draygo!” he hissed,
staring at the screen. “But you are dead!” 

Draygo threw back his head and roared with laughter. “We are both dead,
Kharg!” he said. “We all died when the Mother Ship and the Klinger 
Fleet were destroyed.” 

“Impossible!” hissed Kharg. 

Draygo shook his head. “You are dead, Kharg,” he told him. “Come to the
grave where you belong. The dead are waiting for you, Kharg. Come to 
the grave,” he said, beckoning. 

“Come Kharg, come to the grave!” a voice from the other side of the
bridge repeated. 

Kharg turned. Draygo was standing near the bridge door, beckoning. “Come
to the grave, Kharg,” he said. “We are waiting for you. Return to the 
grave with me.” 

The Draygo on the observation screen roared with laughter again and as
Kharg was turning back to him the Captain shot out of his chair and 
grabbed the giant phial from his hands. 

“Time for us both to die!” he yelled, raising it above his head. 

Kharg was quickly raising his hand to control him again when the giant
phial was hurled at his feet. The phial containing the Anti-Matter 
shattered and the Orion erupted in a thundering, blinding explosion. 

PART FIVE 

A few seconds later the Captain shimmered and materialised. Quickly he
examined himself but was puzzled when he found no sign of injury. 

“No, you're not dead yet, Jim!” a familiar voice said to him. 

The Captain glanced up. “Sprock!” he exclaimed then looked round. 

The Orion's bridge crew plus Ricky, Dennis and Otto and Silas the
Sorcerer were standing around the bridge of an unfamiliar ship, smiling 
at him. 

“What happened?” he asked. 

Mr Sprock's ears had returned to a normal shape. “The Clumzies
generously lent us this ship,” he explained. “It's a bit primitive but 
we didn't have much choice under the circumstances.” 

“The Clumzies?” 

“Of course. I became suspicious when I couldn't contact you with my
Transceiver,” Sprock told him. “A visit to Clumzy Space Control 
revealed that the Orion had left. There could only be one logical 
explanation for that, no matter how difficult it was to believe – 
Kharg.” 

“So you followed us back to Earth?” 

“Exactly Jim. I suspected Kharg might still have some Anti-Matter so I
arranged for a diversion. Simon disguised Dennis as Draygo when we were 
travelling. He performed well, I think you'll agree?” 

“Very well,” admitted the Captain. “It most certainly fooled me.” 

“No problem, squire,” said Dennis/Draygo, grinning all over his ugly
face. “You know me – glad to be able to help.” 

The Captain smiled at Dennis. “I can understand how you got him on the
observation screen,” he said, “but how did you manage to beam him 
aboard the Orion at the same time and stand behind Kharg?” 

Sprock arched an eyebrow and held out a hand to Silas the Sorcerer. “We
too have a little magical power, Jim,” he replied. 

Silas removed his peaked cap and bowed. “One of my spells actually
worked for a change!” he said. “To tell you the truth,” he went on, “I 
was glad to get away for a break. That new woman of mine can be very 
demanding!” 

The Captain smiled at him, remembering the scene when he and Butch had
crept into his bedroom. 

“And you've got me to thank for the split second timing in beaming you
back,” Ricky drawled. 

“It was timed rather fine,” the Captain admitted. “How did you manage
it?” Ricky grinned and held up a tiny metal object. “Eavesdropping with 
one of these,” he replied. 

“What the hell is it?” asked the Captain. 

“A miniature receiver,” Ricky told him. “I hid one of them down a couch
on the bridge of the Orion at the start of the mission so I could hear 
what you cats were up to when I was in my cabin,” he explained. “All I 
had to do was tune in to the frequency and wait till you were into the 
kamikaze mode then I gave old Sprocky the nod to beam you across.” 

“Well old Sprocky and you couldn't have left it any later,” the Captain
said, smiling at his First Officer. “Another half second and I'd have 
gone the same way as Kharg.” 

“It was wise of me to insist you wore the Transporter Bracelet, Jim,”
said Sprock. 

“I would say its one of the most totally logical things you've ever
done,” chimed in Butch Bradley and everyone on the bridge laughed. 

The Captain however quickly returned to a more pensive mode. “Do you
think we finally got rid of Kharg?” he asked Sprock. 

Sprock arched both eyebrows. “With Kharg – who knows?” he remarked. “He
seemed capable of escaping from almost any situation. Still, we did 
destroy the last of the Anti-Matter.” 

“And one of the Federation's very expensive ships,” the Captain added
wryly. “I suppose I'd better contact them and explain what happened.” 
He strolled over to the ship's Communications Console but halted when 
he caught sight of the forward observation screen. It was showing a 
view of the blue-green ball that was planet Earth revolving slowly and 
peacefully against the black backdrop of space. 

He stared at it for a few moments then sighed wistfully and turned to
the others. “Makes you feel kind of warm inside knowing we saved Earth, 
doesn't it?” he said. 

The others nodded and stared at the screen. 

“But how did we do it?” the Captain went on. “How did a bunch of frail
humans manage to defeat someone as powerful as Kharg? Makes you wonder 
if there wasn't some Force guiding us, helping us, working through us. 
Yes, this mission just confirms my belief that there is a Good Force in 
the Universe as well as an Evil Force. We've defeated the Evil Force 
for now but who knows when it's going to strike again. But when it 
does, we'll be ready, we'll be--” 

“Hey, there isn't time for any of that nonsense now,” Ricky cut in,
halting his brother's monologue. 

“Why not?” he asked. 

Ricky grinned at him. “Because the novel's finished,” he drawled. 

The Captain glanced down at the empty page beneath him. “Damn!” he
muttered in surprise. “So it is!” 


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