SKYTREK - CHAPTER 6 (standard:humor, 2869 words) [6/15] show all parts
Author: Danny Miami	Added: May 15 2010	Views/Reads: 2192/1664	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Chapter 6 of the Star Trek parody.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story


“Considering that it's our only alternative it's certainly worth a try,”
Sprock said wryly. 

The Captain smiled at him and they both closed their eyes and
concentrated. 

‘I have not been hypnotised, I refuse to be hypnotised,' thought Sprock
over and over again, trying to regain control of his logical Bulcan 
mind. ‘I have not been hypnotised. I have not been hypnotised.' 

‘The floor between Sprock and me is still there,' thought the Captain,
trying to regain control of his emotional Earthling mind. ‘The floor is 
still there. The floor is still there.' 

Above them, the eyes continued to watch through the peephole. 

After several minutes hard concentration the Captain and Sprock opened
their eyes and looked round. There was still ten feet of empty space 
between them and twenty feet of empty space to the arched doorway. 

A little twinge of doubt began gnawing away in the Captain's mind.
“Shouldn't the floor have returned?” he asked. 

“Not necessarily,” Sprock replied confidently. “The hypnosis is probably
on two levels – optical and cerebral. If my theory is correct we should 
have defeated the cerebral hypnosis although the optical may remain 
which means the floor is actually there although our eyes don't see 
it.” 

“So how do we test your theory?” 

Sprock took a pen from his pocket and carefully knelt down. “I'm going
to roll this across to you,” he said. “If my theory is correct it 
should reach you.” 

He laid the pen on the solid ground next to his foot and checked his aim
then rolled the pen hard and let go. It ran quickly over his small 
pillar then continued across seemingly empty space. It rolled smoothly 
across the ten foot chasm which separated them then ran on to the 
Captain's small pillar, bumping against his boot. 

“Your theory seems to be correct,” he said, bending down and retrieving
the pen. 

“It does,” agreed Sprock. “Now for the real test.” 

Still keeping one foot and most of his weight on the narrow pillar he
stretched out his other foot and placed it where the next part of the 
floor should have been. It seemed solid enough and he tapped it several 
times with his boot, the echo ringing round the cavernous room. 

“Sounds as if it's there,” remarked the Captain. 

“Agreed,” replied Sprock and stepped out fully. 

The ‘empty space' held and without looking down he walked quickly across
the ten feet of apparent void and joined the Captain on his pillar. 

“Well done, Mr Sprock,” he said, smiling at him. 

“Thank you, Captain,” Sprock replied, “but let's not congratulate
ourselves too quickly. There still remains the problem of how we get 
back to the Orion.” 

“I suggest we concentrate on the next piece of the floor first,” said
the Captain. 

Sprock nodded and the two of them closed their eyes again and
concentrated. After a couple of minutes they opened their eyes and 
looked round. Twenty feet of empty space remained between them and the 
safety of the arched doorway. 

Sprock repeated his test with the pen and as before it rolled smoothly
across the chasm. Confidently, he stepped out from the pillar and 
walked smartly across seemingly thin air to the solid ground by the 
doorway. 

He turned and looked back across. “Your turn, Jim,” he said. 

A little nervously, the Captain peered down. It was a long, long way to
the bottom. 

“You have to believe the floor's still there,” Sprock said
encouragingly, sensing his indecision. 

“I do believe it's there,” the Captain replied. “It's just that...” he
trailed off and peered down again. 

“You saw me walking across the first section, didn't you?” Sprock asked.


“Yes.” 

“And you saw me walking across the second section?” 

The Captain nodded. 

“Do you doubt the evidence of your own eyes?” 

The Captain sighed. “Maybe your belief is stronger than mine,” he said. 

“Nonsense Jim,” said Sprock. “We both accepted the fact that we were
hypnotised. We both concentrated hard to remove one level of the 
hypnosis and we succeeded. Just because you can't see something doesn't 
mean it isn't there – after all the strange experiences we've had on 
our travels I shouldn't have to remind you of that. Now do you believe 
the floor exists?” 

“Of course.” 

“Then keep believing and step out.” 

Realising it was now or never the Captain took a couple of deep breaths
and fixed his eyes on Mr Sprock. He steeled himself and without looking 
down stepped off the pillar. 

And fell into the chasm. 

PART TWO 

Unaware that Kharg and Giraffe had already left Dulcodaz, a second
elderly Astronomer hurried along the path from the Observatory to the 
Palace. He had taken over from the now deceased first elderly 
Astronomer and although he had some urgent news for Kharg he was 
determined not only to reap the rewards but also to avoid the pitfalls 
of his predecessor. 

In other words he wanted to deliver the message about the Klinger Mother
Ship hanging around without getting blown away in the process. 

He had managed to acquire a key to the heavy outer door of the Palace
and he slid it into the lock and turned it. The thick metal door 
creaked open and he peered in cautiously. The replacement Guard was 
lying in a drunken stupor against the wall, several empty wine bottles 
scattered around him. 

The old Astronomer smiled toothlessly and sneaked in. Leaving the heavy
door ajar in case it's creaking should rouse the Guard he began 
tiptoeing across the straw covered floor. 

“Mind passing me my supper?” the prisoner chained to the wall asked. 

“Ssshhh!!” hissed the old man, pointing at the snoring Guard. 

“Sorry,” whispered the prisoner. “My supper.” 

“Oh where is it?” 

“In the bucket.” 

The old Astronomer picked up the bucket and threw the vile, evil
smelling contents over him. 

“Aaahhh, nectar!” the prisoner muttered blissfully, licking at the mess
as it dripped down his face. 

The old Astronomer shook his head in disgust and tiptoed on. The next
barrier between him and Kharg was the young replacement Captain and he 
made his way silently up the short corridor and listened intently for a 
few moments at his room door. 

He heard some strange sounds coming from within the room and uncertain
as to what they were he pressed his ear tighter against the door, 
trying to identify them. 

Half a minute later he was still as puzzled, so very very gently he
opened the door a fraction and peered in. His eyes widened at what he 
saw and he drew his head back quickly, fighting to control the laughter 
which overtook him. 

He managed to suppress his laughter and wiping a tear from his eye he
tiptoed into the room, one hundred percent confident that he wasn't 
going to be stopped. 

Over in the corner, stripped to the waist and oblivious to the world,
the young replacement Captain and another Guard were locked in a 
passionate embrace, grunting slurping noises coming from them. 

The old Astronomer turned for another look and with his elderly
shoulders shaking in silent laughter, he tiptoed on. 

Only one more barrier between him and his reward – the Major. Getting
past him was not going to be this easy. 

PART THREE 

‘I'm holding on to a ledge that isn't there,' Captain Kork thought to
himself as he dangled in space. 

He glanced down into the deep black chasm beneath him. Now that was
real. He could see it, could sense its depth, could almost imagine 
himself falling into it. He swallowed and closed his eyes. 

Having seen the Captain fall, Sprock had immediately rushed out across
the ‘empty space' again. “Easy Jim,” he said, kneeling down. “Grab my 
arm.” 

The Captain opened his eyes and glanced up. Holding on with one hand he
grabbed Sprock's wrist with the other. He found a toehold and with 
Sprock pulling him, he slowly climbed up the face that wasn't there. 

When he was half-way on to the pillar Sprock grabbed him round the waist
and heaved him over. They took a few moments to catch their breath then 
scrambled to their feet. 

“A close call, Jim,” Sprock remarked. 

The Captain forced a smile. “I think I stopped believing there for a
little while,” he admitted. “Shall we continue?” 

“Certainly,” agreed his First Officer. He turned and once more began
walking confidently over the ‘empty space' to the safety of the arched 
doorway. “You see,” he said. “No problem.” 

Without looking down the Captain began walking across. 

“Keep believing, Jim!” Sprock called encouragingly. 

“I believe! I believe! I believe!” the Captain repeated, chanting aloud
each time he put his foot down. 

This time he made it and he leaned against the arched door, sighing with
relief. 

“My theory and the floor both held up,” Sprock remarked. 

The Captain nodded. “It's amazing what a bit of belief will do,” he
said, staring at the chasm they'd just walked across. “We'll have to 
warn the crew when we get back in case Kharg tries any more hypnosis on 
us.” 

“A good point,” said Sprock. “Hypnosis from a distance is possible. If
any of the crew are susceptible to--” 

A burst of applause from above them interrupted their conversation. 

“Who the hell is that?” the Captain asked, looking up. 

“Hi guys!” a familiar voice shouted. 

The Captain frowned. “Ricky!?” he yelled. “Is that you!?” 

“Sure is, big brother!” came the reply. 

“How did you get here?” 

“I beamed down just after you so Kharg wouldn't spot anything.” 

“You mean you've been watching us all the time?” 

“Yep!” 

“Why didn't you let us know you were there after Kharg left?” 

“And miss the show!? Don't be silly!” Ricky replied, laughing. “You two
were magic – all that concentrating and falling into space stuff!” 

“Prick,” muttered Mr Sprock. 

“Agreed,” said the Captain. 

“Stand clear!” yelled Ricky. “I'm going to widen this peephole.” 

As the Captain and Sprock took cover in the arched doorway there was a
blue laser flash above them and some rocks crashed down on to the floor 
which wasn't there. 

Ricky waved away some smoke and peered through the gap. “You'll need
this!” he shouted, tossing something down to them. 

“A Transporter Bracelet!” the Captain said, catching it. 

Another followed for Sprock then a Transceiver. 

“I'd better contact the Orion immediately,” the Captain said. “The crew
are probably concerned about us.” 

Aboard the Orion quite a nice little party was in full swing on the
bridge. The exceptionally concerned crew were consoling themselves with 
a lot of booze, dancing and music. 

“Captain to bridge,” the familiar voice said from a speaker on
Lieutenant Youhoor's console. 

“Oh Christ,” she muttered, putting down her drink and shoving an amorous
Ensign away. “Bridge to Captain,” she replied. 

“Get ready to beam us up, Lieutenant...what's all that noise?” 

Calmly, Youhoor covered her microphone. “Captain's coming back!” she
yelled. 

Immediately the crew swung into their well-rehearsed routine of clearing
up the bridge before he returned. 

Youhoor uncovered her microphone and with her thumb and index finger
clamped on her nose she made some strange distorted noises into it. 

“Hello Lieutenant, are you receiving me?” the Captain asked. 

“Bridge to Captain,” she replied smoothly. “There seems to be some
interference on the line, sir.” 

“Is there? That's probably what I heard to start with. Can you hear me
now?” 

Youhoor glanced round the bridge. It was just about back to normal.
“Yes, it seems to be clearer now, sir,” she answered. 

“Prepare to beam us back then.” 

“And me!” yelled Ricky. 

“And my brother as well. Beam him back first,” the Captain said wearily
and closed his Transceiver. 

PART FOUR 

‘Strange,' thought the old Astronomer as he peered round the door of the
Major's suite. ‘No sign of the bugger. Where is he?' 

He sneaked across the outer room and glanced round the open door of his
office then quickly drew his head back – the Major was sitting at his 
desk over by the window! 

‘Damn!' thought the old Astronomer. ‘How do I get past him?' 

As he was trying to think of a way round the problem something suddenly
occurred to him. In the quick glance he'd taken round the door, the 
Major wasn't exactly sitting at his desk, he was slumped across it. 

‘Maybe he's asleep,' thought the old Astronomer and peered round again. 

The Major hadn't moved. True he was still sitting in his chair but he
was slumped forward, his head resting comfortably on a mound of papers. 


The old Astronomer listened but there were no tell-tale snoring noises.
Plucking up his courage he tiptoed in. 

A closer inspection revealed that the Major definitely wasn't sleeping.
Well, he was in a way but there was no chance of him waking up – a 
round hole in the centre of his forehead indicated he'd been shot with 
a laser. 

The old Astronomer frowned. Who the hell would have killed the Major? He
thought about it for a few moments then his frown cleared and he 
grinned. Who cared about the Major? He would now be able to deliver 
this piece of news to Kharg along with the message about the Klinger 
Mother Ship! 

He rubbed his arthritic hands with glee! Two pieces of important news
for him to deliver and he'd made it past all the obstacles. Kharg 
should be well pleased and he should be well rewarded. 

He walked over to the far wall and pressed the button. The arched
entrance slid up and he jumped back – two strangers were standing in 
the doorway. 

Panic filled his elderly breast. Was he now at the very last moment to
be prevented from seeing Kharg because of these ridiculously dressed 
interlopers? Damned if he would be! 

“I want to see Kharg!” he demanded angrily. 

“That's impossible,” the short one told him. 

“I bloody well want to see him!” the old Astronomer retorted defiantly.
“I have some important news for him.” 

“You can't see him,” the one with the pointy ears said. 

“Can't, my arse!” the old Astronomer shot back belligerently. “You're
trying to steal my reward, you bastards!” He bent his head and charged. 
“Out of my way!” he yelled. “I have to see Kharg!” 

Oddly enough the two strangers quickly moved apart as he rushed through
the doorway. 

“I have to see Kharg!” he yelled as he raced past them. “I have to see
Khaaarrrggghhh!!” his voice echoed as he fell headlong into the chasm. 

The echoes died away then there was a distant thud. The Captain cringed
when he heard it but Mr Sprock was more philosophical. 

He peered down into the black depths and shrugged. “Obviously a
non-believer,” he remarked dryly. 


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