The World's Fattest Munchkin (standard:Fan Fiction, 1411 words) [1/3] show all parts
Author: YummyGurl	Updated: Dec 22 2009	Views/Reads: 3274/2006	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
A self centered girl falls in love with a mythical creature, who might just change her life.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

Pleather. Platinum silver leather on his chest and ass. Fitz was
starting to rethink working with Paris. Is it really worth the 
pleather, he wondered as he stood there in Paris's master bedroom and 
stared into her mirror that took up a whole wall. She must really love 
looking at herself making love, he assumed since the mirror had a full 
view of her queen sized bed. 

“Are you ready?” Paris yelled from the hallway. “Can I come in yet?” 

“Sure,” Fitz/ Flower Lollipop said. He has worn worse things in his
life, like last year's Halloween party at the theater. His BFFN, Roger, 
convinced him to wear a giant Cabbage Patch Kids costume. It was so 
creepy, that it even scared away his daughter, Charlice. 

Paris walked in and laughed as she saw Fitz. “You look like a techno Tin
Man!” 

“Thank you,” Fitz groaned. Way to go to my pride, he thought. He started
to feel like Paris's bitch. Someone she can humiliate. Her 
schadenfreude. No. If only he could meet those who've seen his 
strength. That's it! 

“Hey Paris,” Fitz said as he made his way to her bed. “I was wondering
if you'd like to meet one of my friends.” 

Paris yawned as she stretched on her floral covered bed. “Why? Are you
trying to take our relationship to the next level?” 

“Heavens no! I was just wondering if you'd to understand me from someone
else's point of view,” Fitz explained. 

Paris started to think. Fitz could tell, because it looked like her head
was hurting. “You don't have to think too hard,” Fitz said as he sat 
beside her. “Just say yes.” 

“Fine,” Paris said as she gazed into his ashy eyes. “Yes.” 

*** 

Fitz got home and sat by the phone wondering who he should invite. He
didn't want to call Roger, because he'll really make Fitz look like a 
dork. He didn't want to call his wife, because of course she'd show how 
whipped he is and besides, she was far off at some business trip. 

Who to call? He needed someone who was outspoken. Arrogant. Bitchy.
Someone who'd make Fitz look good when he stands next to them. Suddenly 
he had a vision. He grabbed the phone and started to dial. 

*** 

Paris walked into the restaurant feeling hung over. She really got
wasted once Flower left her. She didn't want to just barge into the 
place looking like a drunken loser, so she asked her assistant to 
escort her. 

Paris made her way to the table, to find Flower had already arrived,
with a lady friend. She looked scary with her sharp nose that almost 
seemed witchy. Her chin really pointed outward, kind of like a fist out 
to get her. Her eyes were dark and had that aura Nichole Richie would 
give Paris on their last moments together. Something was so familiar 
about this woman. 

Paris took a seat across Flower, while her assistant sat across the
witchy woman. “Hey there, beautiful eyes,” Flower said. Paris blushed. 
She loved it when a man complements her most hideous features as if 
they were the prettiest thing in the world. 

“This is my friend Idina Men,” he introduced, “Zel.” 

“Well, since you've brought a friend along, I felt like I had to bring
one too,” Paris lied. “This is Onch.” 

“Aloha!” Onch sang. 

“Howdy, do,” Flower smirked, but in a cute Munchkin way. 

The witchy woman with a weird name just rolled her eyes. She must be
jealous that Flowers is with a woman with a bit more zealous. 

“Nice to meet you, Ms. Audrina,” Paris nodded toward her. 

“No, my name is Idina,” she corrected. 

“Oh, sorry Sardina,” Paris apologized. 

“So how did you and Fitz meet?” whatever her name is asked. 

“I just wished for someone to love unconditionally and someone to love
me back unnecessarily. I say unnecessarily, because I know I don't 
deserve all the love in the world,” Paris said. 

“So how did you and Fitz meet?” she asked again. 

“Well, yeah. My wish came true. So how did you and my Flower meet?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Him. His new name is Flower Lollipop.” 

Idiota or whatever her name is started to laugh a wicked laugh. The kind
of laugh you'd hear from a mean old lady. 

“Well,” she began, “me and fuhfuhfuh-Flower met while filming the porno
‘The Jizz-ard of Odd' three years ago. He was the main Munchkin.” 

“You're a porn star!” Onch smiled. “I'm starting to like her.” 

“No, I'm not a porn star,” she said. “I was just doing an inside scoop
on the adult industry for an article.” 

“She works for the New York Tribune,” Flower said. 

“Oh, you're a writer,” Onch said in disappointment. “That's still cool.”


“What got you interested in writing?” Paris asked. 

“Well, I was five years old at Jewish Camp and”— 

“Wait you went to Jewish Camp?” Paris laughed. 

“Yeah, it's like Christian Camp, but for Jews,” said Id-don't know her
name. 

“What'd you do there, learn to concentrate?” Paris blurted. 

Suddenly Id-whatever got up from her seat and throat socked Paris. “I'm
leaving,” she said as she left Flower and Onch to help Paris up. 

As Paris lay there and watched the witchy bitch walk away, that was when
it clicked to her. She looked like the tattoos on Perez's biceps. 

The End? 


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