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The Truth About Rabbits! (standard:humor, 1411 words)
Author: Tony DungateAdded: Jun 14 2008Views/Reads: 3326/2182Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
So you think you know about rabbits, do you. Take everything you think you know about rabbits and throw it out the window.
 



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lettuce and carrots. We do eat these foods but only because it gives 
humans the impression that we are cute floppy–eared docile herbivores.  
What you don't know is that we like a lot of regular foods that humans 
eat also. Nothing goes down better than nice Greek or Spring salad. Hey 
you have to wonder where we get the energy go all night long! You don't 
think the Energizer Bunny was some Advertising Executive's brainchild 
do you? Remember the previous discussion about where great ideas come 
from! We also like a nice alcoholic drink. Have you ever set your drink 
down at a pool party and then noticed that it's all gone without any 
memory of drinking it? Guess who? Ever heard of a Rampant Rabbit drink? 
Where do you think the recipe come from? You got it! 

So where do we live. I know. You think we live in big holes in the
ground, under large rocks, under bushes and trees. Well just like some 
humans, there are rabbits that like to be one with nature (nothing like 
mating outdoors under a starry sky, huh).  But just like humans, most 
of us like to live in the lap of luxury! We like live in to warm homes, 
fed when we are hungry, have our sleeping quarters cleaned for us, and 
generally just lay around all day scratching our bellies, like most 
human males! 

What do we do for fun? Well if you look at the web (Guess who named it
that. Your right, a spider) and look us up, you will find that we like 
to run around and play just like cats and dogs, chew carpets, 
baseboards and wall corners. If the truth be known, we like to watch 
movies, listen to the radio, and my new personal favourite is to play 
the new Wii Fitness games especially the slalom ski course! Oh and I 
have also started to do the yoga poses and found that my center of 
balance has increased dramatically. 

Now that we have covered some the basic human misconceptions of rabbits
and their behaviour, we need to discuss the issue of my disappearance 
from the Dungate's back yard. Initially I liked to run in their 
backyard and eat their weeds but let's face it, for someone who likes 
Greek and Spring salad, the occasional carrot and leaves of lettuce 
don't cut it! I know I put on the cute factor, hopping into the back 
yard looking for treats (and scoping the place out for a daylight or 
midnight entry route), even let the fat guy take pictures of me through 
the curtain, but let's face it, who wants to live in a house without 
Wii! So where am I? I moved out into the Great Beyond as chubby calls 
it and went looking for a house with young kids. I have ended up across 
the street in a large house that has four bedrooms, recroom, large 
screen TV (103”), surround sound and of course the required Wii 
Fitness. 

So in closing, give the big guy a break. He didn't eat me, heck; he
can't even run more than ten steps before he's out of breath! Not sure 
if I will come back and visit so he can take another picture of me, but 
you never know, especially if gets the new Wii system! 


   


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Email: tdungate@rogers.com

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