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Pablo Died Today - Part 2 (standard:other, 2742 words) [2/2] show all parts | |||
Author: casio1933 | Added: May 03 2008 | Views/Reads: 2443/1815 | Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
Pablo finds adventure - He fits well into his life in Virginia. | |||
Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story After being accepted as one of the "Saturday morning pack,” I began to practice doing a lot of the things other male dogs do. I discovered the pure pleasure of pissing on a car wheel. Never have I since missed the opportunity to indulge myself whenever a strange car would enter the driveway. If there were no new cars for a day or so I would just piss on the wheels of Mom and Dad's cars. I honed my hunting skills to a fine edge and took up fishing (even though the other dogs did not fish). I was a constant practitioner of the fine art of hunting. Catching birds, small animals, and an occasional snake (I didn't let snakes live), on a daily basis, made me the nemesis of the wild animal community of Sherwood Forest. I once caught a wild Norwegian Elk Hound. He was only wild after he got caught. I had been dozing in the sun on the wall of the carport, when the Elk Hound walked by ? headed for the garbage cans. It was the easiest catch I ever made. I dropped off the wall onto his back and "dug?in” with teeth and claws. His fur was so thick I don't think I ever got to his skin, but it scared him shitless. He took?off down across the yard yelping, jumping and running. No rodeo rider on the toughest bronco ever had a wilder ride than I had on the back of that Elk Hound. Getting off his back was a whole different experience. By the time we had crossed the yard and started down the street, I was beginning to wonder what in hell I was thinking about in the first place. My mouth was full of fur that felt like steel?wool, my ass was being driven up between my ears and if this son?of?a?bitch ever realized what was on his back, he was going to make a meal of me. I had "f---ed up" ? bad. As it turned out though, I managed to get myself untangled from his fur and fall off his back about a half block from the house. I hit the gravel along the edge of the road at about twenty miles an hour. After tumbling end over end a dozen times or so, I made a beeline for home. I thought the bastard might have seen me. Since I had become a dog I did not eat much "wild” meat and brought most of my prey home for Mom and Dad. I don't think they ever developed an appreciation for my efforts to pay my own way. After my encounter with the Cottonmouth Moccasin when I was a cat, I never played with snakes. I took every opportunity to kill them. My Mom and Dad appreciated snakes least of all. When we moved to Sherwood Forest, there were quite a few snakes to be found in the woods, along the creek in back of the house and around the lake across the way. When we moved away, some ten years later, I had not seen a snake in seven years. Dad was somewhat opposed to my indiscriminate extermination of the snake population ? he thought nonpoisonous species were harmless and should be left alone. Mom thought there was "no such thing" as a harmless snake ? she liked my approach. Snakes were not the only things I killed instantly and without thought or hesitation. One Sunday morning I was dozing on the king?size bed in Mom and Dad's bedroom. Dad was dressing for church. He playfully flipped his new belt over my neck ? I killed it. While the belt was not a total loss, cosmetically it was dead. Bird hunting was fun. You could make it as difficult as you wanted. Or as easy as you pleased. Birds are dumb. If you don't hurt them, they faint most times when you catch them. If you do hurt them, they mostly flutter a lot, squawk and die. Our next-door neighbors (Sue and Winston) had canaries. Every Saturday morning, when the weather was warm, Sue would place the canary cage on the carport wall. One warm Saturday morning, I waited until she had gone back inside the house. The two canaries in their cage were singing cheerfully in the morning sun when I batted the cage off the wall onto the ground below. The cage door flew open and the two birds flew out ? THE HUNT WAS ON. One of the canaries flew back under the carport and was later caught by Sue. The other one headed for the wooded area in back of the house, my territory. I farted around all afternoon with that little yellow bastard. Every time I got close enough to grab him, he would flutter off to another bush a few feet away. I was getting pissed; and tired, and frustrated. It was dusk; he must have been getting pretty tired too. I managed to swat him down. He laid there, apparently "dead?as?a?doornail." I picked up the "dead” bird and started toward the house. My Mom was on the back stoop. She saw me and called Dad. "Warren, come quick. Pablo is coming across the back yard with something in his mouth ? it looks like a little yellow bird." With that she ran down across the yard and I let her have my catch. There was not enough meat on the skinny little shit to fill a hollow tooth anyway. Dad took the canary and checked him for a heart beat and puncture wounds. Though shallow, the heart was beating. There were no punctures. The dammed bird had fainted. My Dad took the canary over to Sue and told her he had found the bird in the yard. He thought it would be OK if she would put it in a warm place. Sue told Dad the bird had fainted before and would be all right within a few minutes after she placed it in the cage with its companion. Sunday morning ? Mom was out in the yard when Sue came out of her house. Mom asked if the canary was doing all right. Sue replied the bird was fine and was now "his old self." Mom then told Sue, that her cat had brought the bird in from the woods the previous evening. Sue was very happy to have her canary back. She had spent several hours looking for the lost bird after the "wind" had blown the cage off the carport wall. She thought I was the "nicest cat” for helping her find her bird and bringing it home. There are several techniques well suited for bird hunting, depending on the time of year and the weather any one of them could be considered the best: In hot weather a lot of birds would bathe in the small stream in back of our house. I would stretch out on an old log that spanned a small pool and pretend to be a "bump on the log." When a half dozen or so of the feathered ones were frolicking in the pool below, all I had to do was fall off the log into their midst. It was not unusual to catch two birds with a single fall. Using this technique, I got a lot of mud on my coat and I got wet a lot, but I caught a lot of birds too. During blustery, rainy weather, I would hide under the limbs of the large loblolly pines along the edge of our lot. The tree limbs came all the way to the ground and once past the outer foliage it was almost like being inside a tent. Birds, trying to escape the weather, would fly inside. When they saw me and became excited, I could usually catch one or two before they could find a way back out. One of my most remarkable bird hunting accomplishments included the capture of three birds simultaneously. It happened on a Saturday morning in February. There were about eighteen inches of snow on the ground and it was still snowing. Mom had put birdseed in the feeder and the birds were making good use of it. I climbed to the top of the picnic table and waited until a flock of birds were on the feeder. I leaped, from the table to the feeder ? the deep snow on the table hampered my leap and I barely managed to catch the edge of the feeder. The birds flew away and left me hanging by my claws some six or seven feet off the ground. Dad had built the feeder to discourage squirrels from stealing birdseed and there was no way for me to climb up onto the feeder or to climb down. I hung on for as long as I could and finally let go. I fell into the soft snow below and went out of sight. An ordinary hunter would have been discouraged by the experience. The snow continued to fall at a heavy rate. My Dad went out and cleared the deep snow off the picnic table and put birdseed on it. He knew the birds could see me approach and fly away before I could get to the table. He didn't consider my alternatives. I climbed to the bench of the table and waited. In a few minutes, I was covered with snow and as white as my surroundings. I could hear birds fluttering above, pecking at the seeds and suet on the table surface above. I slowly raised my head. With near imperceptible movement, I brought my eyes level with the tabletop. There must have been nearly twenty birds on the table when I sprang. I caught one under each of my front paws and one in my mouth. Being somewhat overzealous, due to my prior humiliation, I killed two of the birds outright. I intentionally let the third one escape. When hunting small animals, it's easier to catch the young ones and safer too. Nothing gets as upset and as mean as a full-grown squirrel when you take hold of it. It's like grabbing the business end of a chainsaw and not being able to let go. Grown rabbits are not a lot better. I have had a big buck rabbit kick the breath out of me, and drag me, bumping and bouncing, across a quarter acre before giving up. Rabbits do tend to "haul ass” away from you if they get loose. Don't f--- with Opossums or Skunks. High on my list of leisure time priorities is fishing. I became an expert at the small lake across the way from our house. Often in a single afternoon I could exceed the State limit for small?mouth bass. Many of the fish caught, I carried home. It got pretty tiresome after about a half dozen trips. I never killed the fish I carried home and Mom or Dad would often find several still flopping on the carport when they arrived home from work. I once caught a fourteen-inch bass. I nearly drowned, but I got his ass out of the lake and home. Dad nearly shit his pants when he saw my fish ? still alive and flopping on the carport. My Dad talks a lot about fishing. He doesn't catch many. Besides fish, I caught a lot of frogs at the lake. I carried most of them to Mom and Dad. Frogs are hard to kill and often I had to leave them under the back door mat to keep them from getting away. I also hid some of my other game there to keep it away from Grumpy. Mom got paranoid about going out that door without checking for those innocuous little bumps. She squashed a bunch of the critters I placed under the mat before she started checking. Tweet
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