How I Learned to Speak Spanish (or My Dream Girl) (standard:humor, 3187 words)
Author: Spotlight	Added: Feb 21 2001	Views/Reads: 4033/2464	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Was it destined to be true love? A bit of weirdness and my own twist on the cliche.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

stood again and walked into her small bathroom.  I prayed for her to 
turn and look at herself in the mirror as she walked by without a 
glance, and turned the shower on. 

She showered for hours, or years, never looking down at herself, only
looking ahead, and shutting her eyes which gave me blackness for a 
time.  Her head lowered for a second as she turned the water spray 
off... opening the curtain and immediately hitting my eyes with the 
sight of her topless, sensual, curvy body.  I could not have picked a 
better woman in my dreams; perfectly curved, proportioned, toned, and 
such an angelic face.  She shut her eyes again, and blackness came 
through the hole as she dried herself. 

I pulled away from the loop, scolding myself half-heartedly for my peek
into another person's life.  I walked to the kitchen, and fixed myself 
something to eat, a ham sandwich, and sat, with a glass of milk in 
hand, running over the events in my mind, trying to determine what kind 
of magic or illusion this appeared to be.  I attempted to stay away 
from the bracelet, turning my back, and leaving it alone, but my 
curiosity acted on me.  I lost to my own will and looked again into the 
refocusing portal. 

She was naked, and standing in front of a mirror.  I blinked and looked
again.  She was naked, and standing in front of a mirror, getting my 
full attention.  Her hair was long and hung down her shoulders in 
brown/gold waves and ripples, not being the first part to grab my 
attention, but the most unexplicit detail that attracted me.  Her body 
was beautiful, light-brown, smooth, symmetrical, toned, and a wet dream 
all in one.  My face was contorted into the largest grin ever made by 
a, well... anyone. 

I watched her every move, as she selected each article of clothing,
obviously dressing to impress.  If there is not such a thing as love at 
first sight, this is as close as it gets.  I loved everything about 
her, her voice, her hair, her body, and for some reason, I felt relaxed 
with her presence, a perfect dream, a dream I began to doubt existed, 
maybe something subconcious poking through my brain, a hallucination.  
As I debated with my eyes always on her, I saw her working thin lines 
of makeup across her face, accenting and accentuating her finer points, 
then standing at the full-length mirror to admire herself again, 
checking the clock once, 5:30.  Two hours,  I had lost all track of 
time, her every curve and every move had clearly warped my brain. 

My view of her was suddenly gone as she stepped away from the mirror,
checked the main door, then turned to her closet, opening it quickly as 
if something secret were inside.  She turned and shut the door, causing 
pitch-blackness to envelope the loop.  I stared intently, as I saw a 
light flash and her eye come into my line of vision, blue and sparkling 
for a split-second and then gone and blackness again.  Her closet  had 
opened and thin stream of white came from behind the door.  I waited 
for her to do something, but she stood, staring forward through the 
open slit. 

I felt a slight strain on my legs, and decided to lay back for a while
until something happened.  My head fell into a hanger full of clothes, 
and I lost balance on my uncomfortable shoes, landing in a heap on the 
floor, with the closet door open fully.  I lifted my head away twice 
more and hit my head on the wall behind me the second time.  It hurt!  
My hair was long and in my face and messed up.  I had breasts!  With a 
frightened uncomfortable screech, I stood wobbly on my high heels, 
scooting to the bed to sit down and rest my mind.  I felt myself with 
my hands, I was her and she was nowhere anymore.  I surveyed the 
familiar room with two eyes now, smelling and hearing everything, 
feeling the experience differently, in surround sound.  I scuttled 
quickly to the closet as my brain attempted to rationalize what had 
just happened.  "She shut the door... and then..." my mind said to me 
as I mimmicked her last actions and shut the door. 

I was me again, but I could not move.  I could smell, hear, see, but I
could not move myself.  "Oh my god."  I heard under my breath, my 
voice, my breath.  My head tilted down without my help and a hand 
cupped my crotch, feeling around everywhere.  She had become me.  My 
mind reasoned, "She'll look in the loop on her wrist to switch me 
again."  I watched and waited as she felt every point on her body as I 
had done, waited for her to look into her wrist at the swirling gem.  
Then I was forced back to reality, "She has no idea where to look, or 
what happened..."  I watched as she started to run to my closet, 
saying, "God is he tall."  She stepped in and shut the door, "Work, 
Damnit."  She opened and shut the closet again, frustrated. 

"No, the bracelet..."  She nevered looked down to her wrist, storming
out and swiftly turning, sitting on the bed corner and thinking.  "Now, 
what do I do?  What happened?" she thought aloud, as I felt ashamed at 
the Playboy I saw on my dresser.  How long had she seen me?  It had to 
be long time, or atleast longer than myself... she might have seen 
everything I have done.  And as I thought about it, I felt bad for her 
having to see everything I have done over the past few years.  In my 
opinion, I am a jerk and i do not really have a life at all.  
"Telephone!" she almost yelled and hurriedly grabbed my telephone, also 
on my dresser. 

"Stupid!"  I screamed at myself in my head for not calling myself
earlier, pushing open the closet door and hearing a telephone ringing.  
At two rings I picked up the receiver. 

"Hello?"  my voice surprised me, high and pleasant. 

"Is this?"  she hesitantly asked me in my voice, although she was sure
it was herself she was talking to. 

"You? Yes, you." I chuckled, high-pitched.  "Sorry about the mess
there."  I said timidly, still feeling guilty for years of laziness. 

She sighed.  "Oh, I'm used to it by now..." she giggled, sounding
strange in my own voice. 

"I... you are?  How long have you seen me for?" 

"Oh my god, I've seen you... for... a long, long time...  its strange. 
I was about to leave to finally umm... go see you... but..." 

"This happened?" 

"Yeah... your very tall." 

"I heard you say it." 

"How long have you known...me?  or you?" 

"Just today I found it." 

"But your closet doesn't work... how do you do it?" 

"Look on my, your wrist, and you'll see a special loop in the bracelet,
look really close, I'll stand by the mirror." 

The phone rustled. "I see you..." I laughed, all the pressure taken
away, and danced seductively.  She laughed in my voice, "don't get me 
excited.  Wouldn't know how to handle it." 

"I've never talked to myself before..." 

"I do all the time."  She laughed again in my voice, and I laughed
feeling strange at my voice's sound. 

"I..." 

Hurriedly, changing tones totally, she quickly interrupted and asked...
"What time is it there?" 

"Almost six o' clock now, why?" 

"Shit..." she laughed again, "wow you should swear more often, you sound
so angry and deep-voiced." she changed beats yet again, "okay, the 
tickets, plane tickets, the plane leaves at 7:00, I've gotta run to get 
there now." 

She had picked the perfect weekend; I had absolutely no work to worry
about.  "Switch back?" 

"I guess so.  I would have liked to test out this body."  She laughed. 

"I would too.  It is nice."  My skin was extremely smooth now compared
to my usual. 

She laughed a secret chuckle, "Thanks, I knew you would." 

"Switch." 

"Okay... I'm staring now." 

"Bye."  I scuttled to the closet door, opened it, closed it, 
immediately a white light flashed and I saw my own green eye.  I was 
standing with my telephone in hand, back inside my own body.  "Hello?"  
I uttered into the phone in my own voice. 

Seconds later the phone buzzed and rattled, and I heard, "Gotta run. 
Wait, can you pick me up?" 

"Sure." 

"About nine-thirty. Bye!" 

"Bubbye."  Very quick.  The girl I have been waiting for my whole life
is going to be here at nine-thirty.  I could not stop my mind from 
imagining getting laid tonight. 

Then I started to ask myself questions.  Should I clean up?  Does she
know everything and still like me anyways?  I decided to just get 
something to eat, throw away the Playboy, and vaccuum or something. 

The next few hours went by nice and extremely slowly, with me agonizing
over details and turning things over in my head.  I drove out to pick 
her up early... an hour early, and paced around in the gift shop 
forever.  After an eternity, I found her flight's gate and met her 
along the ramp and stopped. 

We locked eyes and it seemed like the world went away into a dull haze
as we embraced and passionately kissed each other.  With my calm hands, 
I felt her curves from my own body and saw her as the goddess she had 
become to me.  I felt reassured and comfortable in her arms, as though 
we were soulmates, destined to finally find each other, feeling as 
though nothing could break us apart. 

"Now I finally see you up close."  she said looking up at me.  "You
still are tall." 

I laughed, "Lets get your bags."  We drifted together, following random
signs and grabbing her bags, and walking, and totally silent, and 
comfortable as I opened her car door for her. 

"You don't have to do this."  She said, smiling. 

"You are my guest."  I said, attempting to look debonaire. 

"So, is this car gonna break down like before?" 

I jumped inside and shut the door.  "You saw that?" 

"Yeah, and the way you reacted... how you kicked the car and broke your
toe, and then fell on your elbow and bruised it." 

I started the car.  "I thought no one saw that." 

"And then..." 

"I remember..." 

"But its so funny, the story you made up, about your foot, a bus ran it
over!"  She was laughing hysterically. 

I grumbled, "Had to tell 'em something." 

"Awww,  don't be mad."  She kissed my cheek.  I smiled.  "Don't want you
to break a blood vessel."  She laughed. 

"That was once!" 

"I know, I know... Chipchuck..."  Tears were in her eyes as she laughed.


"You know everything about me, don't you." 

"Just about, most everything since your senior year in college...
chipchuck." 

It was funny, I guessed.  "Yeah, chipchuck..." 

"What was the rhyme that went with it?" 

"No, come on.  I don't remember." 

"Something with the f-word a lot, and ducks.  I can't remember, I'll try
to." 

"Go ahead."  I concentrated on the road. 

"Say shit, it'll be funny.  Say it..." 

"Naw."  I grumbled. 

"Oh, alright be like that."  Her voice started to sound to me like
hammers on metal.  She kissed my cheek and looked out the window.  I 
wiped off her slobber.  "You were so romantic sometimes.  I remember 
that girl, she was nice, I guess, but you were really excited by her, 
maybe a little too much,"  She giggled, knowing my secret acts. "but 
anyway, you took her out under the stars, the moon was beautiful and 
full, and you said all the right things, and made love so nicely out in 
the summer." 

"You saw me doing that?"  I looked to her. 

"Don't worry, you were perfect then."  That made me smile.  "Other times
you weren't great, but that time you were right on, I'm surprised you 
broke up so quickly."  That did not.  "Will you do that for me?  Be 
perfect for me?" 

I said, "Of course, I'll try."  But, my mind rehearsed the scene in my
head.  "No, thats not it, that was how you had Cindy, not that way."  
she would say.  She already knew the details, the ways, no surprises, 
nothing to discover.  If I did something wrong, she would compare, me 
never being perfect.  She looked so ugly when she laughed. 

"We'll have to work on some of your problems.  You still have that gut
from college.  It's a cute gut though.  And why'd you shave off your 
beard?  I thought it looked good." 

"That was a few years ago." 

"Oh, I know... and I don't really mind the girl magazine's but can we
get rid of 'em?  Its not like you'll need them."  She kept giggling, 
her voice gnawing into my head.  She knows everything, everything!  By 
this point the road really needed extreme concentration and I began to 
nod and smile and listen.  "I could really go for one of those cakes 
you made in college.  They smelled great.  (nod)  I can't stand 
hotdogs, and you have 'em like every night.  I'll have to cook some 
real food for you.  You don't like vegetarian meals, but I'll make 
something healthy.  You'll probably lose that extra weight. (nod)  I 
remember when you broke your arm at the gym, when someone dropped a bar 
on it.  (nod) I felt so bad, and I could almost feel it myself, but I 
could smell it and hear it and all you were doing was trying to lose 
some weight.  By the way, you smell great and manly when you sweat, I 
love it.  (smile)  Oh we'll have so much to talk about since we've 
basically both lived your life.  We can get married, because I know you 
want kids, and your not afraid of committment, atleast not a lot. 
(nod)."  She giggled again, and the car stopped and we both got out.  
"I'll open the door, you get the bags, your keys still in the same 
secret spot, wait why am I asking?"  She laughed, and skipped up the 
stairs and hopped in the main building doors. 

I opened the trunk and lifted the bags out and onto the curb.  I closed
the trunk, got in the car, and calmly drove to Mexico.


Tweet