Politics, I Hate The Word As I Hate All Politicians And These... (standard:Satire, 1207 words)
Author: Reid Laurence	Added: Nov 03 2006	Views/Reads: 5605/2735	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
This story, which is really a humorous remark on a recent senate debate in Missouri brings with it an actual, tragic point. A point which is difficult to ignore... that being, that there are so few politicians we can trust, just what difference does it ma

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that's what! How could you ever persuade the American people to doubt 
me, or the strict code of morals I adhere to. That, DeClair MyCastle 
will simply never happen. Not in this life time.” 

“It might take a lifetime to question all the choir boys you've
allegedly molested, and unfortunately, we're running out of debate 
time, but I'd be happy to reach into my purse here and pay for another 
hour long time slot if it would bring the truth to light. Has anyone 
here got change for a million dollar bill? I'm so sorry, I don't seem 
to have anything smaller on me at the moment.” 

“Okay Ms. MyCastle. I'll tell you the truth. The only truth is that your
father had sex with farm animals; made millions of dollars selling 
moonshine to seven year olds in third world countries and lost it all 
when he became a syphilitic leper, unable to remember his own name or 
even the name of his favorite mistress... a beloved goat named Gerta. 
That's the only truth Ms. MyCastle.” 

“Lies, all lies. One lie after another. I don't understand why Mr.
Licker must spend his time attacking my family just because they don't 
hide in a closet. Really Mr. Licker, I wouldn't even have shown up 
tonight if doctors hadn't reassured me that I couldn't get aids from 
standing too close to you.” 

“That's it,” remarked the presiding official of the MyCastle / Liq'ueur
debate. We have unfortunately run out of time tonight, but lets have a 
big round of applause for both of these fine  Missouri residents. If 
you ask me ladies and gentlemen, senatorial hopefuls just don't get any 
better then Ms. MyCastle and Mr. Rhym Licker. How about another big 
hand for them!” 

“That's Liq'ueur you idiot. Oh, maybe I should just change my name.
Everyone mispronounces it wherever I go.” 

“Why would you when it suites you so well? I should think you would have
gotten used to the flavor of it all by now, Mr. Rim Licker. But the 
most important truth of the night never did seem to come out in our 
debate.” 

“What's this now DeClair? Have you finally thought of something deeper
then your twisted tax return or your money stuffed mattress that you'd 
like to discuss?” 

“Only that especially in your case, you really can judge a book by its
cover. I genuinely hope you and your would be clone lose this race and 
amendment 2 for stem cell research passes. You were right, we don't 
need two of you. In fact, the only time I enjoyed listening to you was 
when you said, ‘I don't wanna be walk'in down the street one day an see 
me com'in at me!' You really do have a way with words but after all, 
even one of you is too many for this world.”


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