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For what it is worth! (standard:other, 6356 words) | |||
Author: Kenneth Nash | Added: Feb 01 2006 | Views/Reads: 3211/2313 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
This is a part of the epilogue to my autobiography. It contains some of my philisophical ideas and sayings | |||
Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story When I was just a boy Dad Larley told me, as he was teaching me the construction trade, “Buddy, you will prevent a lot of trouble for yourself if you measure twice, and cut once. If you measure only once you may have to cut twice”. I found that to be true in other areas of my life too. I draw the parallel of that advice, from dad, to “look before you leap” and THINK before you SPEAK. How many times I have wished I had not spoken certain words to others. Once things are said, they are like feathers in the wind, difficult to retrieve. I TRY to make it a practice to “ listen” to what I am going to say in my mind before I put my mouth in gear. Very often I make the choice to, either, not say what I was going to say or say it in a different way. And, yes, it is true, sometimes it is not what I say to others but the way it is said. I guess it is like doing a print preview before printing while you still have time to make important changes. ________________________________________________________________________ “Daily house cleaning”. Years ago I read that an old Indian belief says a person is made of four rooms. They are called Body, Mind, Emotions, and Spirit, and it does one good to visit, straighten up, and clean each room daily. How this applies depends on each of us individually, and personally I think. Over the years I have come to appreciate the value of education. I wish I had learned that earlier in my life. Yet, while formal education is important, I have yet to hear of a college curriculum that offers Wisdom 101, or, Experience 101 for that matter. Education will help us prepare for the experiences in life that lead to a certain degree of wisdom. Must have a wise person that said, “Experience is the best teacher”. I tend to agree with that statement. Knowledge about something does not necessarily make one an expert on the subject. I can take all the lessons available on flying a plane but until I get it off the ground and back down safely...I ain't no pilot! Advice about a problem may come in many forms, but “wise counsel”, usually, comes from someone who has “been there and done that”. For the “working class”, which I have been a part of most my life, it is generally accepted that we do not “make a living”, but learn live on what we make. I have often said that is the price we have to pay for the privilege of being poor! “I cannot think myself into right living, but I can live myself into right thinking”. Sounds confusing? Well at first glance maybe. Let me share a short story with you. A few years ago a young fellow told me he didn't think he was a good daddy to his son. I asked him what he thought a “good” father was like. He said everything his father wasn't. He went on to say a good dad spent time with his kids, attended school plays and ball games. Taught them things like riding the bike, putting a worm on a hook, going fishing, etc. I suggested that he take some time and make a list of everything he could think of that would exemplify a good daddy, and then just start making an effort to do the things on the list that was missing. A few weeks later the man came to see me again. I asked him how it was going with his son. He said he had made the list and started “making more time to spend with his child”. He got a big smile on his face and said, “You know, I am a pretty good daddy after all!” His actions changed his thinking. Even though he thought he was not a good father, he just started acting like one and after a while he started thinking like one. I guess another way of putting it is “fake it ‘till you make it”. ________________________________________________________________________ It has been said that the road to contentment and peace of mind starts with a small PATH. Patience-Acceptance-Tolerance-Honesty. As I have mentioned before, I miss the mark of perfection by a long shot. But, I have found if I try to think of the acronym for the above words it makes my day go a lot better. This usually works in just about every relationship or business dealing we encounter. It is not always easy to be patient but it pays- if I strive for improvement in this area. Acceptance of the things I cannot change is a bit harder but sometimes we just gotta quit butting our heads against the brick wall. If I can show others the same tolerance I expect it kind of oils the machinery of most relationships. Honesty! Most of us have no problem with the honesty of giving back the right change, and all that stuff. It seems to be more difficult when we look at the honest exchange of feelings and taking responsibility for the times when we were actually wrong in a situation. “Staying on the PATH isn't always easy!” My father, Daddy Paul, used to say this prayer: “God if you will help me keep one foot on the path, I will try to take care of the other one.” We may never reach perfection, but we can make a daily effort at improvement. ________________________________________________________________________ It was suggested that I share some philosophical principles and sayings that I have come to believe as truths. Now, I must add that even though I believed in them I have not always adhered to them. You may recall that I mentioned before, “It is not what you know... It's what you do that counts.” It is for this reason I have named this chapter: “For What It's Worth” “You get what you pay for and you pay for what you get” Over the years I have learned from experiences, both good and bad, that life is pretty much a balance. I have come to realize that the above statement can be applied to all areas of life. (Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually). It costs something to commit to a job, physical well being, relationships, spirituality, etc. But, we always gain something from those commitments. If my choices are not to pay the price (commitment) I will get just what I paid for. “Relationships” The chicken said to the pig, “Let's give the farmer bacon and eggs for breakfast!” The pig replied, “That is easy for you to say, your effort is a contribution, mine is a total commitment!” Some say that for a relationship to work over a long period of time it must be 50% from both partners. Others say it must be 100% each. Now, while marriages and unions may be made in heaven, they are endured or enjoyed here on earth. I do not know anyone that can commit, or even contribute 100% all the time. Maybe it takes a 200% combined effort. The times that I am unable, or unwilling to give 100%, maybe just 75%, then the partner that is committed will give 125% to make up for my meager contribution. When the time comes that neither person is willing to try to go the “extra mile” the relationship is in serious trouble. I will be honest with you, I have been pretty good at contribution to relationships, but as far as commitment I have been pitifully lacking on many occasions. “Happiness is just a series of happenings” I think most of us want happiness for ourselves, our children, and others. That is a God given instinct. “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness”. The Apostle Paul wrote that he LEARNED to be CONTENT in whatever state he was in. It is interesting to note that he did not use the term “happy” in that statement. I have come to believe there is a big difference between the two. Someone once said to me, “Kenny. I think you would be happy in any place you lived”. I agree that I try to make the best out of most situations, but I have, also, made the worst out of many. Happiness comes from our attitudes because of the circumstances and situations that come our way. Contentment comes from our attitude despite those circumstances and situations. Could it be that happiness is a state of mind, and contentment is the state of one's soul? ______________________________________________________________________ “We only have to look around us to see the negatives in life”. “The positives have to be searched for” In South Africa, they produce beautiful diamonds. It is interesting that they have to search through, and move, about ten tons of stone to find one or two diamonds less than the size of our little fingernail! Life gives us a lot of dirt and rocks at time, but I believe that with all that, there are some “gems” to be gleaned. Yep, takes some digging and searching, but the diamonds, (or good things in life) can be found. Maybe it is a rainbow in the sunlight after a dark stormy night. Or, the Robin just outside the window early in the morning. More important it may be looking for a way to help, or comfort, another person that is still facing a lot of dirt in life! ________________________________________________________________________ “Preview before printing”? When I was just a boy Dad Larley told me, as he was teaching me the construction trade, “Buddy, you will prevent a lot of trouble for yourself if you measure twice, and cut once. If you measure only once you may have to cut twice”. I found that to be true in other areas of my life too. I draw the parallel of that advice, from dad, to “look before you leap” and THINK before you SPEAK. How many times I have wished I had not spoken certain words to others. Once things are said, they are like feathers in the wind, difficult to retrieve. I TRY to make it a practice to “ listen” to what I am going to say in my mind before I put my mouth in gear. Very often I make the choice to, either, not say what I was going to say or say it in a different way. And, yes, it is true, sometimes it is not what I say to others but the way it is said. I guess it is like doing a print preview before printing while you still have time to make important changes. ________________________________________________________________________ “Daily house cleaning”. Years ago I read that an old Indian belief says a person is made of four rooms. They are called Body, Mind, Emotions, and Spirit, and it does one good to visit, straighten up, and clean each room daily. How this applies depends on each of us individually, and personally I think. Over the years I have come to appreciate the value of education. I wish I had learned that earlier in my life. Yet, while formal education is important, I have yet to hear of a college curriculum that offers Wisdom 101, or, Experience 101 for that matter. Education will help us prepare for the experiences in life that lead to a certain degree of wisdom. Must have a wise person that said, “Experience is the best teacher”. I tend to agree with that statement. Knowledge about something does not necessarily make one an expert on the subject. I can take all the lessons available on flying a plane but until I get it off the ground and back down safely...I ain't no pilot! Advice about a problem may come in many forms, but “wise counsel”, usually, comes from someone who has “been there and done that”. For the “working class”, which I have been a part of most my life, it is generally accepted that we do not “make a living”, but learn live on what we make. I have often said that is the price we have to pay for the privilege of being poor! “I cannot think myself into right living, but I can live myself into right thinking”. Sounds confusing? Well at first glance maybe. Let me share a short story with you. A few years ago a young fellow told me he didn't think he was a good daddy to his son. I asked him what he thought a “good” father was like. He said everything his father wasn't. He went on to say a good dad spent time with his kids, attended school plays and ball games. Taught them things like riding the bike, putting a worm on a hook, going fishing, etc. I suggested that he take some time and make a list of everything he could think of that would exemplify a good daddy, and then just start making an effort to do the things on the list that was missing. A few weeks later the man came to see me again. I asked him how it was going with his son. He said he had made the list and started “making more time to spend with his child”. He got a big smile on his face and said, “You know, I am a pretty good daddy after all!” His actions changed his thinking. Even though he thought he was not a good father, he just started acting like one and after a while he started thinking like one. I guess another way of putting it is “fake it ‘till you make it”. ________________________________________________________________________ It has been said that the road to contentment and peace of mind starts with a small PATH. Patience-Acceptance-Tolerance-Honesty. As I have mentioned before, I miss the mark of perfection by a long shot. But, I have found if I try to think of the acronym for the above words it makes my day go a lot better. This usually works in just about every relationship or business dealing we encounter. It is not always easy to be patient but it pays- if I strive for improvement in this area. Acceptance of the things I cannot change is a bit harder but sometimes we just gotta quit butting our heads against the brick wall. If I can show others the same tolerance I expect it kind of oils the machinery of most relationships. Honesty! Most of us have no problem with the honesty of giving back the right change, and all that stuff. It seems to be more difficult when we look at the honest exchange of feelings and taking responsibility for the times when we were actually wrong in a situation. “Staying on the PATH isn't always easy!” My father, Daddy Paul, used to say this prayer: “God if you will help me keep one foot on the path, I will try to take care of the other one.” We may never reach perfection, but we can make a daily effort at improvement. ________________________________________________________________________ It was suggested that I share some philosophical principles and sayings that I have come to believe as truths. Now, I must add that even though I believed in them I have not always adhered to them. You may recall that I mentioned before, “It is not what you know... It's what you do that counts.” It is for this reason I have named this chapter: “For What It's Worth” “You get what you pay for and you pay for what you get” Over the years I have learned from experiences, both good and bad, that life is pretty much a balance. I have come to realize that the above statement can be applied to all areas of life. (Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually). It costs something to commit to a job, physical well being, relationships, spirituality, etc. But, we always gain something from those commitments. If my choices are not to pay the price (commitment) I will get just what I paid for. “Relationships” The chicken said to the pig, “Let's give the farmer bacon and eggs for breakfast!” The pig replied, “That is easy for you to say, your effort is a contribution, mine is a total commitment!” Some say that for a relationship to work over a long period of time it must be 50% from both partners. Others say it must be 100% each. Now, while marriages and unions may be made in heaven, they are endured or enjoyed here on earth. I do not know anyone that can commit, or even contribute 100% all the time. Maybe it takes a 200% combined effort. The times that I am unable, or unwilling to give 100%, maybe just 75%, then the partner that is committed will give 125% to make up for my meager contribution. When the time comes that neither person is willing to try to go the “extra mile” the relationship is in serious trouble. I will be honest with you, I have been pretty good at contribution to relationships, but as far as commitment I have been pitifully lacking on many occasions. “Happiness is just a series of happenings” I think most of us want happiness for ourselves, our children, and others. That is a God given instinct. “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness”. The Apostle Paul wrote that he LEARNED to be CONTENT in whatever state he was in. It is interesting to note that he did not use the term “happy” in that statement. I have come to believe there is a big difference between the two. Someone once said to me, “Kenny. I think you would be happy in any place you lived”. I agree that I try to make the best out of most situations, but I have, also, made the worst out of many. Happiness comes from our attitudes because of the circumstances and situations that come our way. Contentment comes from our attitude despite those circumstances and situations. Could it be that happiness is a state of mind, and contentment is the state of one's soul? ______________________________________________________________________ “We only have to look around us to see the negatives in life”. “The positives have to be searched for” In South Africa, they produce beautiful diamonds. It is interesting that they have to search through, and move, about ten tons of stone to find one or two diamonds less than the size of our little fingernail! Life gives us a lot of dirt and rocks at time, but I believe that with all that, there are some “gems” to be gleaned. Yep, takes some digging and searching, but the diamonds, (or good things in life) can be found. Maybe it is a rainbow in the sunlight after a dark stormy night. Or, the Robin just outside the window early in the morning. More important it may be looking for a way to help, or comfort, another person that is still facing a lot of dirt in life! ________________________________________________________________________ “Preview before printing”? When I was just a boy Dad Larley told me, as he was teaching me the construction trade, “Buddy, you will prevent a lot of trouble for yourself if you measure twice, and cut once. If you measure only once you may have to cut twice”. I found that to be true in other areas of my life too. I draw the parallel of that advice, from dad, to “look before you leap” and THINK before you SPEAK. How many times I have wished I had not spoken certain words to others. Once things are said, they are like feathers in the wind, difficult to retrieve. I TRY to make it a practice to “ listen” to what I am going to say in my mind before I put my mouth in gear. Very often I make the choice to, either, not say what I was going to say or say it in a different way. And, yes, it is true, sometimes it is not what I say to others but the way it is said. I guess it is like doing a print preview before printing while you still have time to make important changes. ________________________________________________________________________ “Daily house cleaning”. Years ago I read that an old Indian belief says a person is made of four rooms. They are called Body, Mind, Emotions, and Spirit, and it does one good to visit, straighten up, and clean each room daily. How this applies depends on each of us individually, and personally I think. Over the years I have come to appreciate the value of education. I wish I had learned that earlier in my life. Yet, while formal education is important, I have yet to hear of a college curriculum that offers Wisdom 101, or, Experience 101 for that matter. Education will help us prepare for the experiences in life that lead to a certain degree of wisdom. Must have a wise person that said, “Experience is the best teacher”. I tend to agree with that statement. Knowledge about something does not necessarily make one an expert on the subject. I can take all the lessons available on flying a plane but until I get it off the ground and back down safely...I ain't no pilot! Advice about a problem may come in many forms, but “wise counsel”, usually, comes from someone who has “been there and done that”. For the “working class”, which I have been a part of most my life, it is generally accepted that we do not “make a living”, but learn live on what we make. I have often said that is the price we have to pay for the privilege of being poor! “I cannot think myself into right living, but I can live myself into right thinking”. Sounds confusing? Well at first glance maybe. Let me share a short story with you. A few years ago a young fellow told me he didn't think he was a good daddy to his son. I asked him what he thought a “good” father was like. He said everything his father wasn't. He went on to say a good dad spent time with his kids, attended school plays and ball games. Taught them things like riding the bike, putting a worm on a hook, going fishing, etc. I suggested that he take some time and make a list of everything he could think of that would exemplify a good daddy, and then just start making an effort to do the things on the list that was missing. A few weeks later the man came to see me again. I asked him how it was going with his son. He said he had made the list and started “making more time to spend with his child”. He got a big smile on his face and said, “You know, I am a pretty good daddy after all!” His actions changed his thinking. Even though he thought he was not a good father, he just started acting like one and after a while he started thinking like one. I guess another way of putting it is “fake it ‘till you make it”. ________________________________________________________________________ It has been said that the road to contentment and peace of mind starts with a small PATH. Patience-Acceptance-Tolerance-Honesty. As I have mentioned before, I miss the mark of perfection by a long shot. But, I have found if I try to think of the acronym for the above words it makes my day go a lot better. This usually works in just about every relationship or business dealing we encounter. It is not always easy to be patient but it pays- if I strive for improvement in this area. Acceptance of the things I cannot change is a bit harder but sometimes we just gotta quit butting our heads against the brick wall. If I can show others the same tolerance I expect it kind of oils the machinery of most relationships. Honesty! Most of us have no problem with the honesty of giving back the right change, and all that stuff. It seems to be more difficult when we look at the honest exchange of feelings and taking responsibility for the times when we were actually wrong in a situation. “Staying on the PATH isn't always easy!” My father, Daddy Paul, used to say this prayer: “God if you will help me keep one foot on the path, I will try to take care of the other one.” We may never reach perfection, but we can make a daily effort at improvement. ________________________________________________________________________ It was suggested that I share some philosophical principles and sayings that I have come to believe as truths. Now, I must add that even though I believed in them I have not always adhered to them. You may recall that I mentioned before, “It is not what you know... It's what you do that counts.” It is for this reason I have named this chapter: “For What It's Worth” “You get what you pay for and you pay for what you get” Over the years I have learned from experiences, both good and bad, that life is pretty much a balance. I have come to realize that the above statement can be applied to all areas of life. (Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually). It costs something to commit to a job, physical well being, relationships, spirituality, etc. But, we always gain something from those commitments. If my choices are not to pay the price (commitment) I will get just what I paid for. “Relationships” The chicken said to the pig, “Let's give the farmer bacon and eggs for breakfast!” The pig replied, “That is easy for you to say, your effort is a contribution, mine is a total commitment!” Some say that for a relationship to work over a long period of time it must be 50% from both partners. Others say it must be 100% each. Now, while marriages and unions may be made in heaven, they are endured or enjoyed here on earth. I do not know anyone that can commit, or even contribute 100% all the time. Maybe it takes a 200% combined effort. The times that I am unable, or unwilling to give 100%, maybe just 75%, then the partner that is committed will give 125% to make up for my meager contribution. When the time comes that neither person is willing to try to go the “extra mile” the relationship is in serious trouble. I will be honest with you, I have been pretty good at contribution to relationships, but as far as commitment I have been pitifully lacking on many occasions. “Happiness is just a series of happenings” I think most of us want happiness for ourselves, our children, and others. That is a God given instinct. “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness”. The Apostle Paul wrote that he LEARNED to be CONTENT in whatever state he was in. It is interesting to note that he did not use the term “happy” in that statement. I have come to believe there is a big difference between the two. Someone once said to me, “Kenny. I think you would be happy in any place you lived”. I agree that I try to make the best out of most situations, but I have, also, made the worst out of many. Happiness comes from our attitudes because of the circumstances and situations that come our way. Contentment comes from our attitude despite those circumstances and situations. Could it be that happiness is a state of mind, and contentment is the state of one's soul? ______________________________________________________________________ “We only have to look around us to see the negatives in life”. “The positives have to be searched for” In South Africa, they produce beautiful diamonds. It is interesting that they have to search through, and move, about ten tons of stone to find one or two diamonds less than the size of our little fingernail! Life gives us a lot of dirt and rocks at time, but I believe that with all that, there are some “gems” to be gleaned. Yep, takes some digging and searching, but the diamonds, (or good things in life) can be found. Maybe it is a rainbow in the sunlight after a dark stormy night. Or, the Robin just outside the window early in the morning. More important it may be looking for a way to help, or comfort, another person that is still facing a lot of dirt in life! ________________________________________________________________________ “Preview before printing”? When I was just a boy Dad Larley told me, as he was teaching me the construction trade, “Buddy, you will prevent a lot of trouble for yourself if you measure twice, and cut once. If you measure only once you may have to cut twice”. I found that to be true in other areas of my life too. I draw the parallel of that advice, from dad, to “look before you leap” and THINK before you SPEAK. How many times I have wished I had not spoken certain words to others. Once things are said, they are like feathers in the wind, difficult to retrieve. I TRY to make it a practice to “ listen” to what I am going to say in my mind before I put my mouth in gear. Very often I make the choice to, either, not say what I was going to say or say it in a different way. And, yes, it is true, sometimes it is not what I say to others but the way it is said. I guess it is like doing a print preview before printing while you still have time to make important changes. ________________________________________________________________________ “Daily house cleaning”. Years ago I read that an old Indian belief says a person is made of four rooms. They are called Body, Mind, Emotions, and Spirit, and it does one good to visit, straighten up, and clean each room daily. How this applies depends on each of us individually, and personally I think. Over the years I have come to appreciate the value of education. I wish I had learned that earlier in my life. Yet, while formal education is important, I have yet to hear of a college curriculum that offers Wisdom 101, or, Experience 101 for that matter. Education will help us prepare for the experiences in life that lead to a certain degree of wisdom. Must have a wise person that said, “Experience is the best teacher”. I tend to agree with that statement. Knowledge about something does not necessarily make one an expert on the subject. I can take all the lessons available on flying a plane but until I get it off the ground and back down safely...I ain't no pilot! Advice about a problem may come in many forms, but “wise counsel”, usually, comes from someone who has “been there and done that”. For the “working class”, which I have been a part of most my life, it is generally accepted that we do not “make a living”, but learn live on what we make. I have often said that is the price we have to pay for the privilege of being poor! “I cannot think myself into right living, but I can live myself into right thinking”. Sounds confusing? Well at first glance maybe. Let me share a short story with you. A few years ago a young fellow told me he didn't think he was a good daddy to his son. I asked him what he thought a “good” father was like. He said everything his father wasn't. He went on to say a good dad spent time with his kids, attended school plays and ball games. Taught them things like riding the bike, putting a worm on a hook, going fishing, etc. I suggested that he take some time and make a list of everything he could think of that would exemplify a good daddy, and then just start making an effort to do the things on the list that was missing. A few weeks later the man came to see me again. I asked him how it was going with his son. He said he had made the list and started “making more time to spend with his child”. He got a big smile on his face and said, “You know, I am a pretty good daddy after all!” His actions changed his thinking. Even though he thought he was not a good father, he just started acting like one and after a while he started thinking like one. I guess another way of putting it is “fake it ‘till you make it”. ________________________________________________________________________ It has been said that the road to contentment and peace of mind starts with a small PATH. Patience-Acceptance-Tolerance-Honesty. As I have mentioned before, I miss the mark of perfection by a long shot. But, I have found if I try to think of the acronym for the above words it makes my day go a lot better. This usually works in just about every relationship or business dealing we encounter. It is not always easy to be patient but it pays- if I strive for improvement in this area. Acceptance of the things I cannot change is a bit harder but sometimes we just gotta quit butting our heads against the brick wall. If I can show others the same tolerance I expect it kind of oils the machinery of most relationships. Honesty! Most of us have no problem with the honesty of giving back the right change, and all that stuff. It seems to be more difficult when we look at the honest exchange of feelings and taking responsibility for the times when we were actually wrong in a situation. “Staying on the PATH isn't always easy!” My father, Daddy Paul, used to say this prayer: “God if you will help me keep one foot on the path, I will try to take care of the other one.” We may never reach perfection, but we can make a daily effort at improvement. ________________________________________________________________________ Tweet
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