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THE PASSION OF THE SHADOWS (standard:Flash, 6106 words) | |||
Author: THELORDOFTHELOVE-CMCC | Added: Aug 29 2005 | Views/Reads: 3281/2216 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
Some times humanity requests for hope and they never know the reason why the world is inside out, the fear, scary movies and dark thoughts get finally combiend in one story thanks to my version of my story "the passion of the shadows " where th | |||
Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story childhood dreamsAnd battered my self-esteem Stole a part of me, that is lost forever. Is there just one thing I can treasure? A bit of luck, of love and fate. I met a man, and started to date He holds me, safe, sound and tight. Whispers to me, I am all right He tells me I am his treasure. Our love will last forever Why? I sit alone in the cold darkness of the night Demons dancing in my head and my heart is impaled with a wounded so deep inside I am asking myself will I ever see the light? Memories of you fill my mind, tears stream down my face, telling myself how I tried I pull my coat around me tighter now, and I ask myself how can this world be right? How could you do this to me? You promise you would never leave my side! Looking up to the Heavens, I scream and break the silence of the night Why did you do it and hurt me so? Why did you leave my side? - Laying in bed, my body covered in sweat, and my mind is dizzy with lust for you. I feel you, I crave you, I want you, can you hear me? You overwhelm my senses and I feel your power. Your body lays over me now, I wrap my legs high and tightly around your waist, not wishing to let you go. Oh "yes" I cry out to you, I am begging you, please give me what I yearn for and feed my desire. I feel your hands on my face, gently caressing me now, I hear you whisper to me, "Hush and be still," and I obey. "Soon I will give you all that you desire and even more." I smile at him, looking deep into his glowing light blue eyes, I feel a sharp stab in my neck and sheer Ecstasy, then I plunge into darkness and into a deep sleep. I wake the next morning and feeling sore on my neck. I get up and walk over to the mirror and I see on my neck a small bit of blood with two small marks. Then a quick flash in my mind of you kissing me in the darkness of the night. He stands behind me, I feel his body pressed up against mine, feeling his breath on my neck. I hear his voice whisper in my ear. "Do you want to live for forever, my love? I turn around to face him, I look him in the eyes, oh his eyes, so brilliantly blue, I answer, "Yes". He tells me, "Never will your life be the same, you will live in the darkness of the night, you will love me forever, I will be your Master, you will be my slave, this shall be the your fate. He asked me again, "Do you still wish to live forever? I answer him, looking into his eyes;" Yes." His arms holding me, strong, but gently, I feel his lips gently kissing my neck, oh god, I feel the chills running down my spine, I throw my head back to let him enjoy more of my skin, my neck, my breasts, giving my body to him. His kisses gently moving down my body, oh I want him. He moves back up to my neck, his tongue dancing on my skin, I feel the coolness of his breath, he whispers in my ear, "forever love." I feel the sharp sting of his teeth, ripping into my flesh, my body aching in pain, I feel my blood trickling down my throat, down my breast. I struggle to be released from his grip, but I can not. I hear him speaking in my mind "do not be scared my love, remember you will live forever, fear not death. " The room is spinning, the coldness of the nights air against my skin, I feel him, I fear him, I love him, god I feel his heart beat. Where is mine? I "scream in terror" , but no words come from my mouth, I am frightened, my heart beat, is growing dimmer, slower, quieter, I open my eyes I see nothing but darkness. I feel him releasing his teeth from my neck. I am numb, cold, limp, like a rag doll in his arms, "Oh god" I cry in my mind, what have I done? I have met the devil in the full moon's light, " what have I done?" , and I hear him whisper to me, " No, not the devil, my love, not the devil, just your Master. He pulls me close to his chest, his skin is so warm against the coolness of my body, I feel the wetness of something on my lips, it is warm, rich, thick, I hear him say, "drink, my love", and I sucked the fluid greedily , and I start to "hear" the sound of my heartbeat again, growing faster, stronger, I open my eyes; and I see I am sucking on a cut on his chest, drinking his blood, I look up at him and he smiles at me. Enough he says for now and pushes me away from him, oh god I ache for more, and gazing up into his eyes pleading. "No" he says, there will be more later, be patient my little one. He cradles the back of my head, and gently gives me a kiss, I taste "our" blood on my lips. I look around in the Darkness, and everything is glowing, wondrous, I can feel, hear everything around me, for I am mesmerized by my surroundings, and yet feeling so weak. He gently lifts me to the couch, and lays me down, and he smiles at me, and he whispers, "rest now love, for now you have eternal life, and you will be forever be mine." The physical love we share is a beauty in itself wrapped inside you, a love we share that makes sex the best. When in love it makes it so wonderful, to smell, feel, and hold you in your naked glory. Ourselves so exposed as to shed tears of gold that wet my face, and to feel you shudder so under me is the deepest emotion I have ever felt. I wish to place my hand upon your face and draw it close to mine and press our lips together and slide my arms around you, press your body close to mine and give you a kiss of love. A hug so tight to know the distance between us is gone and my love is in my arms again. I was alone. I didn't mind. There was always me. Then there was you. We were together. Now we aregone. We are a part. I am alone. Now alone hurts. I never knew lonesome. Until I knew you dark night. Emptiness and darkness have almost become one in the same. Reflective people of all walks of life find themselves, from time to time, pondering what I refer to as "dark thoughts." What makes these thoughts "dark" is not that they are particularly macabre or especially sinister. Rather, it's that for most of us of post-college age, the activities of daily life”working, caring for children or aging e preponderance of our time during the light of day, and it's only when the lights go out”when our heads make contact with our pillows in the dark of night”that a space opens between our ears wide enough to accommodate them. The sorts of thoughts I have in mind are these: Is the life I am now living a meaningful one? Do I really believe that mom's multiple sclerosis has come to her from God's fatherly, providential hand? Given the religious pluralism that surrounds me, and the devout and sincere believers of other faiths that I know personally, is it really rational for me to continue to believe that Jesus is the only way to salvation? Except for people like me, who get paid to ponder and explore such questions in the light of day, these are thoughts that typically pay us a visit under the darkness of night, when we slip under our covers and wait patiently for sleep to come and usher us off to temporary rest. The dark thought that I want to explore here is this: Could it be that God's saving love is so radical that, eventually, all human creatures are saved Our emotional life is much more rich of what it seems to simple view. The emotion goes to getter with all the actions and results that always we are doing something , even in our dreams we do a great thing. If we were to study what we do while a journey we would watch a lot of emotions of low intensity. The fear insignificantly that we had to lookk the watch in the morning fearing to go late to work . the short period when we fell in the stair , the anger that we felt when the clothe we wanted to use is in the washin machine and keeping in this way we could go choosing thousands of small and exiting feelings , and all of them without more importance , we had a very long day. Of course it is not the most common getting into these emotions , and with reasons, specially if you have another important things to do. In the emotions we experienced certain situations, including such experience a form to be the body: in tension when one is to attack or to flee, in relaxation when we are sad, it is excitation when we are glad or we loved. It is not that the emotion is exclusively corporal, nor either only mental. It is the case that the mental aspect and the physical sensations go completely united. In addition all the emotions are some type of acts, what constitutes a fundamental characteristic at the time of including/understanding them. We will have to watch his around, since to the being acts they are acts between acts, this is, they go within desires like means to take advanced them. Evidently it is easy to recognize that to flee from a danger, to strike to somebody, to caress, etc. they are actions. But what we do when, seated in a chair, we became distressed thinking about a problem, or when we are feeling love seeing how plays our son? The answer for these actions apparently "in the air" is varie think about same dangerone, or another person who matters to us. But the danger, watched well, it is imagined, although he is reasonable. For example, if we are ill we fear that without well-taken care of we could get todie, but that possible death is so far in image, since once really deads, no longer we would have life to give account us. If we have desire to drink a water glass and us we drink it, the aim of the act that thirst is ended to drink that water glass. The fears also finish: once it happens what they announced. We have already put the example of the death, that he is extreme. But the same it happens to other fears: the fear to remain without friends is finished when indeed the personremains single: now more than fear it will feel sharp sadness. The fear implies that we directly happened to contemplate the ruin of desire, moment On effort that it involves a disordered life has a weight by same himself like estresante factor in the global result of an excessiveanxiety. Few people are not customary to a chaotic feeding and too much fit or irregular schedules of dream. While their exceeded freshness and forces allow it, it perishes in the beginning not to have negative consequences by the way (, it is the same argument that takes to begin to smoke, because it seems, in the first years, that the habit does not present/display any damage or annoyance which the veteran smokers complain). But when happening the time the disordered life passes invoice through the committed excesses or simply our body wavers and it collapses when crippled seeing itself to continue the wild and chaotic rate of our life. The emphasis put or not put in the emotion like attention object, it clarify a type of phenomena: normally we worried about the sense of the things, and not of how it is our body while we acted. The body works, when we paid attention to our subjects, as a translucent glass species whose traverse we watched. In the psychosis the opposite case occurs. For example, the person takes something with the hand and she is put to watch it like something other people's that she does not control, forgetting porqué it had stretched it; for such reason it can get to draw the conclusion that "a other" manipulates its member without its will. In a same day there is all type of emotions. What usually interests to us is not that, but as it has predominated. That is to say, a person says that she has had "badly a day" or that "contented" or "she is gotten upset". What in fact it express to us it is that have abounded mainly the anguishes, Constantly we are manipulating our body and making evaluations, reason why to speak of acts estimates a form to be involucrados(1) in which we do, this is, we talked about the fact that the course is not to us indifferent from the action, but that we preferred that the wished thing is made successfully. Desire, in that sense, it is a species of advance payment of which we want that it happens and it constitutes the sense of our action Despite the language of the emotion it distinguishes a type of acts on which it falls a certain structure that is centered generally at moments nails of the actions, providing that interest and intensity about which one thinks spoke of the emotion. What we could call excellent emotions conform a type of acts to a reconocible conventional logic, what constitutes a fundamental characteristic at the time ofincluding/understanding them. We will have to watch his around, since to the being acts, they are acts between acts, this is, they go within desires like means to take advanced them. Evidently, it is easy to recognize that to flee from a danger, to strike to somebody, to caress, etc. they are actions. But what we do when, seated in a chair, we became distressed thinking about a problem, or when we are feeling love seeing as our son plays? The answer for these apparently empty actions of directly observable conduct is varied: (a) in occasions we are at the moment of the action in which we are planning and/to plan it is a part of which we do. Thus the fled one has diverse steps: when we run, when we looked for a safe place; but also a little while of the fled one he is that in that we thought at full speed about the necessity to flee, towards where, how, making a scheme in a paper. Or one is actions without displacement as it would be to rest it fallen down in the bed. Thus somebody can ask, what is making fulanito, and we answered is resting. Let us notice that in the language, the verbs usually act the as to express actions, and that we have verbs that are dynamic (extensive)/to walk /, /to take /, others are static like/to think /, /to fantasear /, /to concentrate itself/... The emotion is a special form, in the flexivos verbs, to conduct battles. For example, to hate thinking will consist of a form to attack mentally to somebody, or to love fantaseando a form to give and to receive things with respect to a personage of our imagination. (c) other times is the passive rolls of the actions. When we took care of of our son and we received from him a smile, or we see that it has made a progress, we felt the affection corresponding to which occurs us Often the emotion does not see like an action because unlike a greeting, that it is a short and simple act, in a long and complex project as it could be the one of a familiar life, the different moments seem to be isolated, separated between, yes, as if the day of the wedding and the day that we see retozar to our son did not comprise of the same macro-action, the project to have a family. That is to say, that when many actions are joined to become a long term project, it is easy that we lose of Vista the sense of which we do of such form which we are feeling something and we do not know porqué well. An example of these complicated desires in which we lose ourselves can be the enamoramiento. During many years we are outlining our tastes, the moral values, our form to understand the relation between man and woman, our way to think. Suddenly we see one We could be asked: if we had wished to enamor a day to us, how it is that that day in which happens we forgot that we are making a desire that we had? This incredulity involves not to recognize itself, to forget the inconcreto project that one same one had. If we watched more close by the moment at which we recognize the love that we felt, we will be able to observe that we did not approach a strange and incomprehensible object, towards rather it would be possible to dedicate exploration efforts to keep awake its nature, but like a familiar length hope time that appears with the changed face. It is not either absolutely chance that Literature and the cinema that they have impressed to us more, they supply of formulas oratorias to us, of gestures, of ways to seduce, etc.: we used a loving semantics already pre-ready in previous years. The aggression is a method to directly be able to a desire and an indirect defensive method to obtain that a desire that we have not ruins by an obstacle that interferes. The prototype of the predatory war sets the standard to us of the direct style of aggression. In her we tried to destroy the resistance that presents/displays the others to our expansive desires. The aggressor wants to win at the cost of the loss of the other. The interests of the actors become irreconciliables, and for that reason difference of the commercial or friendly relationsof which the ideal consists of which everyone wins enough. The death (total or partial) of the other is looked for like way to take control of which the being or having of the other prevents to be or to have to his coast. The indirect aggression has a structure of defensive method. We defend ourselves of a danger (if we are salesmen, of the danger to have left we without clients. According to the necessities they change, also new technical variations are developed, getting up itself to the competitions of the apt individuals to integrate itself in the new social system. Any boy of our society has to learn to ignite and to extinguish switches: it is essential for the manipulation of the modern energies, that they constitute basic elements that at other times did not exist. The own body has a spatiality , it occupies a physical place in relation to the other things, and being in action it leaves from this premise. We are body, although we tried to apostatize of it. Also we are for an other person with a concrete body in relation to as there is a proximity, a possible encounter or indifference. all the social acts imply a way to be our body: seated in a armchair, moved away of all, upon a platform, of foot after a counter. The feelings are forms to act. It is evident when it is struck, one flees, it is caressed, it is spoken melosamente... But also it is truth in case these same actions were not in course but at the rising moment, in expectation or anticipation. To drink a water glass is an action that is developed in successive technical steps that culminate when it is obtained that between the water by the throat. Of course we do not drink by chance, but when it desires to us, so it must a little while have in that simply we are wanting to drink, we studied how to do it and we have not still moved nor a finger in that sense. Of the same form the different social projects from life can be at that moment of desire (want-to do or must-to do), but its accomplishment will imply a well-known physical accomplishment. A satisfactory life implies to have the first desires that to satisfy. The movements of which we spoke are of course actions. Even when it seems to have gratuidad, lack of purpose, like in the game, deep social interrelations full of later consequences do not let be (for example game one, it animates, it stimulates, it facilitates). An action is corporal movement that finds sense in a social culture you give, or it is for giving the back him (action by ricochet or abandonment), to participate well actively in its construction. The same society is a group of men in relation it jeopardize in production actions, consumption and information. Our high sense of the individuality does not have to erase the bottom of the others, without which we nothing would be. It is by means of the organized group as the person can shine with the light of ideals, that is to say, desires that make. All is gray and black, lifeless, pallid: As the darkness gathers and swirls, The flames flicker, flash Into deep recesses, the mind dark, The terror midnight beckons To the land of darkness, The Netherworld of olde! Silence, forever silence, Dark and turbid now are found, Terrifying, drab, aghast: The sword Demicles does dangle Above my head, line thin, Dripping ere the putrid blood, Wretched now those Long ago since beheaded, The blade dismal, dark, and dreary, Dulled, the merciless slicing, Piercing shrieks, the horror, Agony great, crimson splash And carmine spatter, Dismembered corpses lie, The new repose, Gaunt, the anguish in the redden'd pool Forever lie the ripple drool. Prometheus' doom is mine: Fettered the stone, effigy the fury: Overlooks the sea peril, Where brings the forenoon The eagles, joy antithesis: Shredding, ripping, hacking, Sawing, scraping: O the vile shrieks! The fires high so burn, The embers bright with spite, So earth trembles, shakes Unto demon eyes Glowing fierce, Teeth honed fine, Jaws gaping bloody, waiting, Now hewn is Charon's oar! Bound to my arms The mares depravity and despair, Run in directions opposite. The torture chamber of the mind Is greater than the hearts combined, Gruesome apparitions here do wander, Lamenting terrible drudgery: death! Bodies, corpses, all the same Living, dead, dying so. Dangerous the mind when dark, Always deeper into oblivion I wish to sink, But alas, no refuge in ignorance found! The terrors, the depth, the mind, Relentless, tenacious, tenebrous. The seraphs in heaven avert me, The demons under the sea beguile me, Both in consortium, my doom, No escape, skulls pave the path never-ending: Eternal sorrow, The plague, the Black Death, the Fever Yellow, All better far than insanity, The bane of my discontent. When we asked somebody how it has gone to him the day answers to us that well, badly or to regulate. Throughout the day we crossed multitude of small incidents: we encountered, we were glad, we become sad. There are many really different situations, therefore a summary of the happened one in the day cannot be another thing that a balance according to some type of personal criterion. Constantly we needed to locate itself in our own history. On the other hand one is a collective history, in that we worked like agents and patients with respect to other fellows. In other words, we make balance of since it has gone and it goes our social life. For anybody the life is something that is isolated of the outside, one puts underneath the skin and the others it does not count, but that the person remembers at the time of making balance all the relations in which she becomes jumbled in the world in general to or length of its life. Because an individual can make a balance with regard to its positionin the society, other individuals - that also make such thing as well can give him, like countable result, negative balance. It can happen that a family, a group, an institution or whole society is depressed due to such luck of adverse judgments. It is spoken then of climate, group atmosphere, instead of how it goes to you. Everyone has a center from where it contemplates to the others, and the others are, with respect to that center, in the periphery. For each one of the members it varies that center, and of the news that we have all of the different centers we can make drawings collective, like for example a meeting in circle of friends or a hierarchic pyramid, the circular assemblies of the Greek ágora, the cosmogonic model of the antiquity like a series of concentric circles, or the present image of a submerged very small man-point in an infinite space in expansion. The profit and loss statement is a basic element of the action strategies. Constantly we are ourselves forced to make adjustments and evaluations to print a favorable course to the events. What we can understand to improve, that on which the expansive spirit is based, it does not consist indeed of which the development of combat operations occurs at random or in accepting what comes, but that rather, what we set out all is to locate itself over the line that the lived experiences have left us as I put in the memory of the set of our list of merits, possessions and enjoyments. The passage of time that we are summarizing constantly gives a position us of which we have obtained, to where we have arrived. This we needed it to know what is for us to improve or to degrade to us. To know what is to improve or to get worse is to have a rule with which to regulate the experiences of expansion and reduction. When one wishes and makes its desire, it is to taste, but that taste has to do more than with the mere accomplishment, with the improvement bet that has for the person its desire. On the contrary, when the person sees that she degrades herself, it reduces its possibilities, its knowledge, its power, it creates a sensation of frustration or depression to him. Although it happened that by other it makes the things normally, to eat to take a walk, etc. it is going to feel a deep restlessness, certain melancholy and sadness because it knows that it is not improving but that the danger is running to deteriorate itself. We needed the last and future time to be able to give a sense to the present and to be able to us to develop the present in according to previous programs or considering future expectations. Where they are the past and the future? The only place where that class of time can be is in the present. In present we are doing something. The sense that has that thing that we do we are not going it to never find relying us on the observable fact of the eyes. Let us suppose that we see which is with the gunner of the window in the hand, what does? it closes or it opens the window. Although we have not seen the beginning of such action, if we see that the person retires loosen it, we can deduce that before it was closed. os del tiempo pasado y futuro para poder dar un sentido We will make a first distinction between which it stops a subject is an excellent value, this is, that it maintains a hierarchy of desires that allows the coexistence of all of them, and a value astringent, that it puts under the other values, poniendolos to its service. These last ones are the values to which we will make reference here. The extremism needs to play with the opposite ones. It needs a being to whom to eliminate and an impossibility to which it looks for to be. A way to eliminate to be is returning absurd the human life. Desrealizar the real thing by means of a glance that stages the human movements without its intentions: the then performances are lost movements. That contemplativa glance returns strange to the humans as if to somebody you would raptaran to him at night and amaneciera in the middle of one been busy primitive tribe. All the thoughts affect all the functions of the organism. The preoccupation thoughts trigger changes in the stomach, that in the long run they can derive in ulcers. The wrath thoughts increase the level of adrenalin to the blood, producing diverse changes in the body. The thoughts of anxiety and fear increase the rapidity of the pulse. All the ideas that have a contained fort almost always emotional reach the unconscious one (the mind of the feeling). Once accepted, these ideas time and time again continue producing the same corporal reaction. It is necessary, therefore, to break that circle by some site if we do not want to fall time and time again in the same psicofisiológicas answers. What delay tends to become reality The brain and the nervous system respond to mental images, or they are internal or external images. The formed images become fixed guidelines and the unconscious one uses all the means of which it arranges to carry out his plan. To worry is a form to program physical answers that we did not wish and the unconscious one acts so that the situation on a map marked in the images is fulfilled. "the things that feared have finished happening to me". Many people suffer chronic anxiety, that it is simply an unconscious mental expectation of which is going to happen something terrible. On the other hand, all we meet who seems to have a special magic. It seems that the life overwhelms to them with blessings without apparent reason. Of them we say that they have luck. What it seems good luck is in fact positive mental expectation. THE IMAGINATION ANNULS TO FACILMENTE THE REASON. This it is the reason by which certain people completely without information hurry towards acts or irracioriales situations. The violent crimes originated by the jealousy have the cause in a hyperactive imagination almost always. But just remember these phrases and the fire of the force that exists on you will go on forever. When the things do not go well for you and the times are not those that should to be,nIt only focuses the positive and it thinks about which podria to be. It recognizes what it occurs You do not lose of Vista the last lessonsn But you do not allow that the thoughts negatives and pertubantes remain in you. Taking which you have learned and begins of there. It extracts strength of your frustration; and it allows that this interest of intention is your new foundation. It is difficult to follow any plan exactly. Although the life at the moment is difficult, The things with time will go better. Tweet
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