The Intergalactic Rebel Troop Leader (standard:humor, 1983 words)
Author: Jim Westergren	Added: Jan 13 2005	Views/Reads: 3330/2227	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
A pilot with a stupid character makes a very fatal mistake. The story illustrates what can happen between two different people with totally different reality.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story


"Intergalactic Rebel Troop Leader, what in the name of the galaxy are
you doing on this shitty, stinky, stupid, garbage planet! I Have been 
searching for you for 2,3 eons across 16 sectors and 45 systems and 
then I find you here on a solar system so unimportant that it is not 
even on the map! I need to know what you have been doing since we 
separated, sir?" 

John was offended. No city-person has the right to speak to him in such
a way. 

He stood up and said "Your kind of people have no right to raise your
voice at me. I am working hard and I am doing my share which cannot be 
said about you!" 

Mr. Peresterdono felt a moment of fair and replied "Ok, Sir. That is
probably true. Sorry that I raised my voice on you. Where did you buy 
this ugly body?" Mr. Peresterdono was staring at it. He would never buy 
such a spy cover. It was too degrading. 

John did not really understand the question but as these city-people
really don't know anything he answered: "I got it for free from my 
mother." 

"You mean that ... Oooh disgusting!" said the pilot in disgrace. 

John went out immediately to see what the noise with the cows was all
about. 

Then he saw it, the city-persons vehicle had destroyed a big part of his
grounds and thrown mud up in the air, which had landed on the cows. 

"YOU HAVE UPSET THE COWS!" 

"Sir, which cows?" asked Mr. Peresterdono. 

"These ones" said John and pointed at them. 

"Don't worry I can take eliminate them with my laser gun, should I do it
now Sir?" 

"You don't touch my cows! You city-people know nothing, only take care
of papers." 

"Ok sir, I will not take them down." 

"I need to know what you have been doing since we separated" asked Mr.
Peresterdono in an attempt to solve his mystery. 

"I am living a hard working life. I am milking my cows, taking care of
my grounds and animals, cutting the woods for fire and make my food." 

"But sir, Milky Way is at stake. Is this per the mission orders?" asked
Mr. Peresterdono wondering which part of the operation it was or if it 
was maybe his own misunderstanding as usual. 

"Mission orders?" asked John. 

"You don't remember sir, this paper ..." 

"I don't care about any paper! There is no problem on the way to get
milk and the stake we eat on Sundays. We don't need any papers. I 
decide what we will do!" said John in an angry manner. 

"Ok sir." Said the pilot thinking that it was best the leader decides.
It will only be mistakes if he would start to decide. He remembered... 

--  4  -- 

"First you will move your vehicle out of my sight, put in order my
grounds which you have destroyed, then milk the cows and after that you 
may have something to eat." I will show this city-person what real work 
is. John liked his new game in life. 

"But sir, don't you have working robots? Or food pills?" 

"NO BACKFLASH! I don't know what that is, there is only you here and you
will do what I tell you to do. When you finish all the things you can 
get a piece of the smoked ham." 

Mr. Peresterdono didn't know which kind of strategic move his leader was
doing and was a bit confused about the changes on the mission orders. 
But somehow they had to take off together with the space ship soonest 
possible. 

The leader was now inside his cottage eating and then Mr. Peresterdono
tried to start the space ship. It did not work and then he realized 
that the fuel was not enough and that mud had come into the fission 
engine as the metal had been melted a bit and opened during his 
landing. 

Mr. Peresterdono run back to the house and said to John: 

"I cannot start the space ship! Do you have some uranium 235?" 

"I have no uranium 235 and I don't know what it is. Fine you don't need
to move it away for right now." 

"But we have to go to sector 59, system 12, planet 167 C". 

"Are you talking about a city?" asked John. 

"Yes, it is a city-planet. The rest of the Rebel Force is waiting for
us." 

"I don't go to any city, you can go yourself. I have a horse you can
take tomorrow." 

Mr. Peresterdono did not know what a horse was, maybe it even was faster
than his space ship! He was looking forward to see it and meanwhile he 
had to clean up the grounds. Such a degraded work, he had before only 
seen robots doing such work. 

--  5  -- 

The next day Mr. Peresterdono had tried to take off with the horse but
somehow his level of communication was not good enough as he could not 
make the horse understand the destination point. The only result had 
been that the horse had thrown him down in the mud. 

Mr. Peresterdono had realized that he was stuck on this degraded planet
and there was no solution. Meanwhile would the Galactic Federation wipe 
out the Rebel Force? 

--  6  -- 

The life of John had got a new meaning. He got to educate this
city-person what a real life was. He achieved a lot of more success 
with the implementation of the punishment system. 

--  7  -- 

ONE MONTH LATER 

Peresterdono was up milking the cows before the sun came up. If he
doesn't make the quota he gets no food and he had been starving since 
yesterday. 

Suddenly the whole area got covered with light. Then a Rebel Troop space
ship emerged and landed a bit beside him in a similar fashion he had 
done. 

A big man with silver clothes and his 13 soldiers went out of the ship
and walked over to Peresterdono while he was milking a cow. 

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE GALAXY ARE YOU DOING MR. PTS?" The big man with
silver clothes suddenly felt the smell from him and was almost about to 
throw up. 

"Sir, the leader has changed the mission orders and per new policy you
cannot land there and like this." 

"Mr. PTS, I am the leader. You must have gone insane. I am sorry but you
are no longer qualified. We will send you the paper with the official 
expulsion." 

Before Peresterdono had understood the meaning of what was said he
wanted to say that the leader don't accept any papers anymore per new 
policy but suddenly he realized that John was not the Galactic Rebel 
Troop Leader. The shock was too much for him and he fainted. 

The Rebel Force Leader with his silver clothes saw that Mr. PTS had his
own space ship parked here and decided that he can then go himself if 
he wants to. Then they left again. 

--  8  -- 

After some hours Peresterdono woke up with a headache and suddenly
remembered what had happened the moment before he fainted. 

He had been laying since then on the field of the cows and one dog had
pied on him while he had been unconscious. 

The Rebel Troop had left him alone and there was only him and John left.


--  9  -- 

ONE YEAR LATER 

The EX Pilot of the Intergalactic Rebel Troop was still milking the
cows. He wished he could eliminate John with his blast gun but he could 
not as he would then not survive alone. 

- The End - 

(The term "PTS" is a technical term in the philosophy of Scientology. It
denotes a person who is a 'Potential Trouble Source' due to being under 
suppression and is manifested itself by making mistakes, indecision, 
inability to cause things, fair and a lot more as demonstrated in this 
short story.)


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