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The Writer Awoke before Dawn (standard:humor, 1677 words) [1/2] show all parts | |||
Author: Ian Hobson | Updated: May 03 2004 | Views/Reads: 4392/2374 | Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
A slanted look inside the mind of a short story writer. | |||
Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story odd, as there was no mention of a walking stick in the opening paragraphs. ‘Fuck it!' he said, ‘I'll go back and edit one in later.' He considered deleting the F-word but decided that any reader that had come this far was probably hooked by now. A fox trotted across the footpath on the hillside ahead, before disappearing into the trees on the left. He had never thought about it before, but foxes did actually trot. He, the writer / retired bank clerk, not the fox, stopped for a moment to admire the view, and as he did so, the sun crested the low hills in the east. He liked the dawn. The opening lines of an old Doors song sprang to mind... No, not sprang to mind... they surfaced? Aw, bollocks!... He suddenly remembered the opening lines of an old Doors song, ‘The killer awoke before dawn. He put his boots on'; and the seed of an idea began to germinate. This often happened. He would set off for a walk with the intention of doing no more than getting some fresh air and exercise, only to find himself writing another story. He continued to climb, soon passing the spot where the fox had crossed the path. And as he reached a small rocky outcrop, he decided that it was time he stopped for some breakfast. He took off his rucksack and sat down on the flattest of the rocks... No, that's the last thing he'd do with a sore tailbone: sit on a rock... And upon reaching a wooden field-gate in a dry-stone wall, he decided that it was time he stopped for some breakfast. He took off his rucksack, and leaning back against the gate, he opened the rucksack, took out his foil-wrapped bacon sandwich and began to eat... He should have unwrapped it first, but surely the reader would know that. He washed down the sandwich with hot coffee from his thermos flask; still working on the story that was now beginning to take shape in his mind. But he turned to look uphill as his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of an approaching tractor. He wondered if the driver, a young lad in green overalls, was intending to pass through the gate, in which case he would open it for him, but with a wave of his right hand the lad veered sharply to the left, bumping over some rough ground, and coming perilously close to making this sentence too long. ‘Who's to say Microsoft know an overly long sentence from a short one, anyway,' he thought. He replaced his thermos flask and slung his rucksack. Fortunately it landed in soft grass. He walked over to it and picked it up and put it back on his back, wishing he could think of a better way of saying that, then continued on through the gate and uphill towards the farm buildings. He looked around to see if the farmer was about, thinking that it would be nice to introduce some dialogue into the story. But the farmyard was deserted, apart from a ginger tom... No, that's probably a cliché. ...a black and white cat sitting on a wall beside the barn. He had a one sided conversation with the cat, and then deleted it; thinking that it sounded stupid. A flock of geese flew overhead in almost perfect V-formation, apart from one straggler, and both he and the cat watched them. As the geese became no more than specks in the sky, he walked on through the farmyard and along the main farm track, undecided as to whether its gravel should crunch under his feet or whether it should be recently tarmacked. He opted for the gravel because neither he nor Spellcheck knew for sure how to spell ‘tarmacked'. Ahead, in the distance, he could see the reservoir, but above it there were rain-clouds, and they looked to be heading his way. The rain wasn't forecast, but he was running out of ideas now and thought that the rain would give him a good excuse to take the short route back to the cottage and more swiftly conclude the story. He left the farm track via a ladder stile and followed the footpath down through the pinewoods. The gong was very soft... He wondered if he could say that about a footpath, or if that description was strictly reserved for racetracks. He reached a fork in the path, uncertain of which way to go, and he stood for a while, prodding at a rotting log with his walking stick, and trying to think what to write next. A large piece of bark fell away, and a family of woodlice scurried off to look for a new home. He took the left fork, deciding to go back over the story in his mind once more. That sometimes worked. Though he was soon distracted, as the footpath narrowed and was, in places, overgrown with brambles, some of which tried to trip him. But after toiling on for another fifteen minutes or so, and occasionally using his stick as a jungle explorer might use a machete, he finally reached the end of another paragraph. He thought about being struck by lightening, but that seemed just a little too dramatic... Or being attacked by a bear, but there were no bears in England. Overhead the sky was growing darker, and he could hear distant rumbles of thunder, and as he left the trees he felt the first few drops of rain. And somewhere ahead he could hear the rush of water where the stream went over a waterfall. He felt a sudden urge to make a waterfall of his own and stepped off the path to relieve himself... Now he really was hard up for ideas; making the subject of the story take a piss. ‘Aw bollocks!' he thought. It started to rain like fuck, so the bloke rushed back to his cottage as fast as he could. THE END. *** It gets better in Part 2. I promise. Tweet
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