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God's Cruel Irony (standard:drama, 2839 words) | |||
Author: Prurient Virgin | Added: Feb 14 2003 | Views/Reads: 3469/2231 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
A young boy has to grow up way too fast. It's almost TV Afterschool specialish. | |||
Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story that appears to be more like a giant rather than a clinic sends shivers down Derek's back. No matter how many times he came here, no matter how many times he looked at it, the building always sent shivers down Derek's back. Derek opens the car door and waves his hand shyly to Mr. Watkins. Derek's mother says a short goodbye and they head into the building, passing the sign that reads in big bold letters, “CHEMOTHERAPY CLINIC.” They walk in and the receptionist greets them. “Good afternoon, Derek. How are you doing today?” “I'm fine.” “He's nervous,” his mother chirps in, rubbing Derek's head. “Mom, stop!” Derek sighs in annoyance(and shyness) as he pulls away. His mother just smiles. Ugh, I hate this place. It is always so cold in here, Derek thinks to himself. Derek and his mother continue to walk until a middle-aged doctor with a medium build, gray hair and large frame glasses meets them halfway. “Good afternoon Derek. How are you?” The doctor asks while not even looking at Derek when he asks. “I'm fine Dr. Simson,” Derek says apathetically, returning the favor. “Let's go to my office so we can talk,” Dr. Simson says to Derek's mother. “Derek, nurse Davis here is going to take you to get your treatments, okay?” “Whatever.” Derek shrugs as Dr. Simson leads Derek's mother to his office, while nurse Davis leads Derek to the chemotherapy room. “Hello Derek. Doctor Simson will be in to check on you, but I'll be administering your treatments today. How are you feeling?” God I hate this question, and I'm so fucking sick of it. “Fine, as always,” Derek says through clenched teeth. “Good to hear. Alright, I'm going to start the treatments, let me know if you need to take a break to throw up or anything, okay?” Nurse Davis flips a switch. “Whatever,” Derek mumbles as he sits back and closes his eyes, hoping to be engulfed by his thoughts once again. “I've got a bit of bad news ma‘am,” Dr. Simson said while looking at Derek's medical chart. Derek's mother clenches both arms of her chair that she is sitting in uncomfortably. She looks at the doctor who is still looking at his medical chart, hoping, praying, even silently screaming that he will actually look into her eyes if he is going to give her bad news. Her silent screams do not work. “What is it?” She asks nervously, barely able to spit it out. “I mean, it can't get much worse than it already is?” Dr. Simson's office is decorated like most doctor's offices. There are six professional plaques hanging on the wall, proving the doctor's eight years of higher education look good on the wall. Other than the large, mahogany desk with a 5,000 dollar computer system on it, the room is decorated mostly with bookcases filled from top to bottom with books. Dr. Simson finally puts the chart down and sits behind the large barrier that separates him from the rest of the common people. He looks directly into Derek's mother's eyes and says frankly with very little emotion, “It appears to me that the chemotherapy isn't working. In fact....” Doctor Simson's words trailed off. Derek's mother screamed inwardly, crying, and trying to escape the nightmare that was her reality. It didn't matter what Dr. Simson said next, only that what he just said was the worst possible news she could have gotten. The tears started to weld up in her eyes, and run down both cheeks. “Any questions?” Dr. Simson said, with arms folded and elbows laying on the desk. He didn't seem to care that this news had ruined her life. “How long?” She asks, in a muted, muffled voice. “I just told you,” he sighs. “This isn't a certain number, but I give him about one month, two tops.” “Is there nothing you can do?” She asks. “No, we've done everything we can. I'm sorry.” I bet you are, she thinks to herself. Why did this have to happen? He's all I have left. Her eyes, which have been welding up, can contain the tears no longer and she begins bawling. She takes a tissue out of her black purse and wipes her eyes after what has seemed like a year of crying. Dr. Simson sits up in his chair. “Ma'am, I just have a little concern about your payment. I know money is tight for you, but your insurance failed to pick up the last couple of treatments. You just told me my son is dying, and all you can think about is PAYMENT?! Derek's mother was irate, but she held it in check, despite her desire to let her rage gain control. “Look, I'm sorry, but I'll do all I can to pay. It's not easy, and I don't have the most high paying job in the world. But you just told me my son is dying, so I would have hoped you could have brought the financial issue up at a better time.” “Yes, you are right.” Doctor Simson says. “I wasn't thinking. We can talk about that later.” Dr. Simson looks at her for the very first time through eyes of a compassionate human being, and not one of a detached, cold doctor. “Would you like me to tell him, or would you pref...” “No, I'll tell him,” she interrupts. “I just don't know how yet.” “I know it isn't easy, and if it'll help, here is the number of a counseling service you may call.” The doctor hands a card over to her and she takes it without even looking at it, and slips it into her purse. “Let's go check on Derek,” Doctor Simson says to her. The doctor gets up followed by Derek's mother, who gets up slowly, practically paralyzed from the devastating news she was given, and they walk out the door. “Are you doing okay, Derek?” Nurse Davis asks concernedly. Four times she had to stop so Derek could throw up. She knew the truth, because Doctor Simson confided in her earlier when he asked if she would treat him today. She saw that he was getting weaker, but was surprised how well he did take the treatments. She figured she would have had to stop many more times than she actually did. “You are a strong boy, Derek.” She smiles at him and he looks back at her with cold, sad eyes. “You take this better than anyone I've ever seen before.” Derek sighs and tries to manage a fake smile. “Are you almost done?” Nurse Davis just nods and flips the switch again. “All done,” she says and pats Derek on the head. I hate when people do that. They patronize me, act as if I want to be treated like a sick dog who needs pet and loved every single second of their miserable lives. Why do they have to do that? I HATE IT! “Finally,” Derek says, thankful to be done with his daily treatments. He tries to stand up at first, but is too weak. Derek's mother and Dr. Simson walk into the room, and Derek's mother immediately rushes to him and hugs him. He tries to pull away, embarrassed and ashamed. “Mom, let go!” Derek yells. Finally she loosens her grip and he pulls away. They walk out of the clinic to Mr. Watkins' van, who is waiting to give them a ride home. “So how'd it go today?” Mr. Watkins asked in a cheerful voice. “Fine,” Derek says, as if that is his answer to everything. “I'd rather not talk about it right now Mr. Watkins, if that is okay,” Derek's mother says, trying to hide her tears. “Not a problem, ma'am,” Mr. Watkins says. And like the car ride to the clinic, the ride home was also rode in silence. When they arrived to their small palace, Derek's mother tried to give Mr. Watkins some money, but he gently refused. When she insisted, he took it assuring her that it was going to be returned to her twofold. Derek ran into the house and into his room, eager to get back to writing into his journal. “Don't get too lost in thought,” Derek's mother screamed after him, “dinner will be ready in about an hour. And I have something important I need to talk to you about.” Derek, as he always did before writing in his diary, stood in front of the mirror, staring at himself, particularly his eyes. He just stood there and watched himself, thinking how great it would be if the guy in the mirror was the complete opposite of him in every way, but looked exactly the same. He thought how great the boy in the mirror's life was compared to his. Then finally, he returned to his journal which he had left lying on his bed.” ‘Where did I leave off?” He thinks to himself. He opens his journal to the spot he last stopped. He looks at it and continues writing. Jesus, there is another thing I am not certain about in life. I mean how can I be sure of Jesus? I've never seen him, or met him, and am supposed to believe he exists based on the words of other people I've never met. People say Jesus did miracles. I've never seen any miracles. But I hope he does exist, and I hope I do meet him, because if there is anyone that ever existed that is certainly worth meeting, then it would be this Jesus guy. I had another appointment today. Mom's worried, I can tell. I think the doctor finally told her what I've known all along. I feel sad for her because she puts her heart and soul into me, and I'm going to be leaving her soon. As much as I love her and dont' want to leave her, at the same time, though, I'm relieved. There will be no more questions, no more fake empathy, no more pats on the head...I'll finally be free. People have asked me if I'm scared, every time I get treatments or every time I get sick. And before I can answer, they always tell me how “THEY” would be scared and how it affects them. Well, to be honest, I'm not scared. People can never realize how scared they will be until something actually happens. Well, I have cancer, and I'm dying, and I'm not scared. I want to die, because until I do, I won't be at peace. It is just so sad, because when I die...my mother will lose her peace. I guess this is God's cruel irony.” Derek's mother's voice interrupts his writing. “Dinner's ready,” she yells from another room, trying to come to grips with the fact that she has to tell her son that he is dying. Derek closes his journal and determines that the last thing he writes in it will be a letter to his mother. He throws his journal on the bed, looks in the mirror and scratches his head. “I guess I'll go tell her I'm dying,” he says as he heads downstairs to his waiting mother. There, in the small kitchen of that small house, Derek and his mother have the conversation of their lives. Tweet
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