Reprimand (standard:other, 5888 words)
Author: Red XIII	Added: Nov 21 2002	Views/Reads: 3175/2277	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
This isn't my usual style of story at all, because it isn't really violent or sciency. It's about the intensely pleasant feeling of revenge taken out on your worst enemy, and also the real feelings of...I hate to say it...love! Don't worry, it's realist

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story


“You mean...his person?” 

“Yes! Why not? Mickey Night is drawing near and...” 

Jack interrupted him with a surprised look on his face. “Why not?
Doesn't that pose a few problems? We can't just walk up to him, say hi 
and throw eggs at him! He knows who we are, if you haven't noticed; 
he'd egg us back straight away. His parents would find out and we'd be 
in for it!” 

By this time Dave had a strange smile on his face, which represented
inspiration. Jack didn't have to ask him, for he said, “Not if he 
doesn't know who did it. Jack, have you got a balaclava by any chance?” 


Jack stepped inside after Dave ask his step-dad if he could come in for
a while. He loved Dave's house, all the old oak furniture, cupboards 
and doors. It was a very traditional style, and seemed to be so 
spacious, even though it probably wasn't any larger than his own home. 
They went to Dave's bedroom. 

“Balaclava?” Jack asked? At this moment Dave's brother opened the door
and stepped in. Chris is in his second year at College and in process 
of joining the Royal Marines. He was just like his brother in many 
ways. “Alright Chris,” Jack greeted him. Chris acknowledged him. “What 
are you guys up to?” 

Dave told him, “We're plotting against Max, so you might be interested.”


“Max? Good, now I won't have to! The cocky little bastard. I don't know
how he gets away with being so cheeky.” 

“Yeah, that's what this is all about,” said Jack. “Dave seems to have
some sort of crazy idea.” 

“Go on bro, what have you got?” Chris challenged. 

“It's only an idea, but it'll work. Our main object is to egg Max; it'll
show him he's not loved by all! We want to really get him into a 
panic.” 

“Oh my God, it would be so satisfying to see him panicking!” Jack broke
in. “Sorry, carry on, what's this idea of yours then?” 

“Okay. What do you think Max would do if suddenly two people suddenly
appeared behind him — dressed in complete black with black balaclavas — 
throw a few eggs at him, maybe a little flour and water bombs, ram him 
to the floor and run off before he can think?” 

Jack replied, “He'd be shitting himself! Only thing is, how do you
intend us to appear from nowhere?” 

“Well, if we're wearing black we can creep stealthily around the village
until we come across him, and we'll use all the hedges and cars to hide 
behind until we're close enough—“ Jack interrupted again. “Yeah, but 
he'll be with other people most of the time. How can we—“ 

It was his turn to be interrupted. Dave said, “If we're quick enough
they won't touch or chase us. They'll just think, ‘Whoa, dodgy 
nutters!' and they'll just try and keep out of our way. Obviously we'll 
have to be quick.” He got up and opened his wardrobe, looking for 
something, standing behind the wardrobe door where Jack couldn't see 
him. 

Jack asked Chris, “Has he done this before?” pointing at Dave. Chris
laughed and said, “I don't know, but I remember when he tried to sneak 
out one night wearing all black, including his balaclava, and our mum 
switched the light on just as he was about to open the front door, and 
said, ‘Dave, what are you doing?' Come to think about it, he must have 
looked a bit strange in the bright kitchen light!” 

Jack was about to reply with a laugh, but at that moment Dave stepped
out from behind his wardrobe door and Jack nearly fell off the bed he 
was sitting on. He'd changed his clothes behind the door; he was now 
wearing black jeans and jacket, and a balaclava that had an old piece 
of stretched, black tights in the slit of it, which made the rest of 
his face black too. Jack almost couldn't believe what affect it had on 
his eyes; if he hadn't known it was Dave behind the wardrobe he 
definitely wouldn't have known who it was. It also made him look a lot 
bigger and stronger, somehow. Domineering, in fact. 

Jack told Dave this much, and Dave agreed. “I know; it's great isn't it?
Just imagine what it would be like for Max to come across two of us! 
And you're taller than me, and I don't care what Max thinks — or anyone 
really — we're a lot harder than him. Being taller than him will create 
that illusion being older and dangerous. And surprise will be on our 
side.” 

“Yeah, surprise is the key; he'll have no idea its only a prank, he'll
think he's really being attacked or something!” 

Chris said, “But does Jack have one of those?” pointing at Dave's
balaclava. 

“No,” replied Jack, “and I don't know where I can get one either.” 

“Try Army Stores in Selby. They're bound to have them,” suggested Dave.
“If not I'll try to get you one. Don't know how.” 

“I can't really get one in Selby because I get a car ride back home from
school, and I can't really ask to stop outside Army Stores and come out 
with a balaclava without them suspecting anything! But anyway, is that 
a cut up pair of tights you've got between your eye slit?” 

Dave took the balaclava off. He'd cut out the piece of black tights near
the top of the leg, presumably, and stretched over his whole face. 
“Yeah, one of my mum's old pairs. It goes right over my head.” He 
showed Jack. “I've got another piece that you can have. It'll help 
cover your glasses.” 

“Cool. I can't imagine what your mum must have thought when she saw you
with all that on!” 

“Yeah, he was grounded for a week!” said Chris. “Jack, have you got a
black jacket? Of course, you'll have to wear stuff Max has never seen 
you wear before.” 

An immense smile spread across Jacks face. He said, “Well, I can hardly
believe it but last Saturday my mum took me clothes shopping, and I got 
a new fleece, completely black, and a pair of black jeans, among other 
things of course! And I haven't taken them out of my wardrobe yet! What 
are the chances of that?” 

Chris and Dave both uttered in duo, “Nice one!” 

“And I might be able to get hold of a balaclava. I'll ask a friend who
lives in Selby to get me one.” He looked at the clock above Dave's bed. 
It read half past nine. “I'd better go. I'll see tomorrow probably.” 

“Right, see if you can get one! Bye.” 

Next day at school Jack asked his friend, James if he knew where he
could get a balaclava in Selby. He explained why he wanted one, for he 
knew James didn't like Max any more than he did. 

“I don't know really, I would think Army Stores would,” offered James. 

“Yeah, that's what Dave said. Do you think you could have a look and buy
one for me, and bring it to school tomorrow? I'll give you the money of 
course.” 

“Well...” James pretended to toy with the request, as he loved to do.
“Okay, I suppose it's for a worth-while cause!” 

“Cheers James! This project relies on this you know!” 

“No problem.” 

At school the next day when Jack saw James he almost immediately started
to ask if he'd managed to get what he wanted, but James was too quick 
for him. He said, “Open your bag then! I've got something for you.” He 
slipped in a plastic bag with the Army Store graphics on it. 

Jack's face lit up. “Great! How much did that cost you?” 

“Four quid. One size fits all!” Jack instantly gave him a fiver and
said, “Keep the change.” 

“Sure? Okay, thanks. In return for me getting that, in addition to the
pound you let me keep, you must make sure you get Max well and good!” 

“Sure, that's a guarantee anyway!” 

Jack called on Dave after school and showed his recent purchase. 

“Well in! It's the third tonight isn't it? How would you like to
practise a little espionage when it gets dark? Ready for the big 
night?” 

“Yeah, okay!” agreed Jack. 

“Good. I'll call on you tonight. On the way to your house I'll wear a
big coat so no one notices my clothes.” 

“See you tonight then.” 

At about half past seven Dave was crouching next to Jack behind a low
but wide bush at the end of a local resident's drive, with all his 
night camouflage on. He had chosen a target, a young man walking his 
dog through the streets of Paramo. He and Jack could not keep very 
close to him due the streetlamps, but there were a few dark patches. 
Dave had explained to his friend that their aim tonight was to follow 
their target until he went indoors, and that they had to keep in dark 
areas so if the man was to turn around they couldn't be seen. 

The target had stopped to let his dog sniff at a tree stump, and Dave
pulled Jack with him past the man and behind the bush they were now in, 
next to a wheelie bin, at the opposite side of the road. His balaclava 
was causing his glasses to steam up, and he couldn't see very much. 
Fortunately Jack was very light-footed.  However, he heard their target 
crossing the road towards them, and walk straight past the bush. “Home 
now Pooch,” he heard him say. Home? Panic swept his body. He realised 
he must be waiting in their target's drive! He glanced at Dave, but 
couldn't see due to his hazy lenses. They dared not speak so they 
couldn't communicate with each other at all. Both boys had the same 
reaction. They curled up into a tight ball with their heads down and 
held their breath. They prayed the man wouldn't enter the drive they 
were hiding in. 

Just before the man walked round the other side of the bush — the one
the boys were hiding in — the dog growled, and started barking. “What 
is it Pooch?” the man said. Neither Jack nor Dave regarded him as their 
target anymore. The man glanced over the bush and let out an 
exclamation. 

“Don't be silly, Pooch, the dustbin lorry comes tomorrow!” With that he
pulled his dog from the bush and led him around it, walked up the 
drive, opened the front door, walked in and closed it. As the door 
closed both Jack and Dave jumped up, started breathing again and walked 
away from the drive. 

Dave said, “The dozy twat thought we were bin bags or something!” 

“Yeah! Tomorrow is going to be brilliant! Lets reveal our heads now and
walk back to my house casually, and hope we don't meet anybody. 

They both pulled off their balaclavas and put them in their pockets.
They laughed with relief all the way to Jack's house until they came 
across Claire, who was also walking her dog. Jack felt the rush of 
emotions he always felt when he saw Claire for the first time in any 
given day. His emotions were mainly comprised of love, admiration and 
joy, but also of frustration and great envy. As she walked nearer he 
admired her walk, her figure, and as she came closer he almost felt 
weak at the knees. “God, she's just so...No word could be invented for 
her...” was his only thought. 

Claire is a year above both Jack and Dave, and goes to the same school
as Jack. She was slightly smaller than both of them, had light brown 
hair, of which Jack loved the shade; brown eyes that he could stare 
into all day and not lapse into boredom; athletic figure, which he 
admired from head to toe; a truly amazing face that he could never 
describe if someone was to ask him about; a voice that melted his 
heart, and had a personality and humour that he only imagined possible 
after he got to know her. 

She was also very good with animals, especially horses. She entered many
competitions with her pony and did very well. Recently Jack had been 
learning to ride and so he knew quite well that it isn't as easy as it 
looks, and had become very attached to his mum's horse. 

How such a perfect girl could live and not be recognised in the way Jack
did was beyond him. He often thought of all the people that walk past 
her everyday, or know her either as a friend or classmate and not 
appreciate her mind-blowing beauty and adorable personality. It seemed 
impossible, and incredible that no one else loved her as much as he 
did. Or was that just what it's like to be in love? Can't be. Anyway, 
he had very little hope of captivating her admiration; “She's far too 
good for me,” was his attitude. 

She knows this too. That night he had told her about his feelings for
her was longer ago than he could remember. But just recently she's been 
talking to him a lot, and had said that she just wasn't “ready for a 
relationship yet,” but she loves his personality and should “come back 
to me next year.” He took the compliments well, but at the same time, 
didn't know what to think. Was she just trying to make him feel better 
about himself? 

“Hi Jack. And Dave,“ she said. “What are you so happy about?” 

Jack and Dave exchanged grins. Jack said, “Oh, nothing really. We're
heading to my house right now. What are you doing after you've walked 
Gemma?” Gemma was of course, her dog. 

“Coursework. Sorry, but I've got loads to do so I'd better be off now
and get started. See you later.” 

“Bye,” came the reply from Dave and Jack, as abrupt as Claire had been.
When Claire had disappeared into the shadows with Gemma Dave asked 
Jack: “She's not usually as, er, rushed as that, if I remember 
rightly?” 

“No, but her mum's a bit like mine, and that means she had to go and do
some work or she'd be grounded!” 

“Ah, say no more! I'll be seeing you tomorrow then!” 

They discussed when they would meet and where. That night Dave had given
Jack four eggs, one and a half months old, hopefully as rotten as his 
Great Grandfather's teeth, as he'd put it to Jack, who could already 
feel the adrenaline of anticipation building up within him. 

“I heard Colette say Max is coming to the park at half six. Lets just
hope he's on his own when he comes.” Jack said, this time kneeling on 
the damp grass next to the duck-pond on the Village Green, facing the 
direction of the road that led to the park, not visible unless you came 
right up the edge of the pond, right next to them. Max would have to 
walk right past them to join the wide footpath to get to the park. 
That's when they would get him. No shadowing involved. Just action. 
When they had worried Max enough they would sprint along the path he 
was heading for, straight on into the Playing Field's car park, past 
the children's play area — where their friends would be hanging out – 
and the football pitches. This was where they had a huge advantage, 
through Jack's farm. 

At the end of the playing field there was a dyke, and Jack's father owns
all the land past the dyke. So over the dyke they would go, and onto 
his house that way. This is in fact, the reverse of how they got to the 
Green. They didn't want to be seen coming out of the drive, so they 
went the “long way round,” as Dave put it. The only difference is, they 
would be sprinting back home so no one could follow them! Over they 
dyke there were, as one might expect, no lights, so your distance of 
vision in the dark is only a few feet, depending on the moon. Lucky for 
them, the moon was not glowing tonight. They didn't want to be seen by 
anyone, and Jack knew his way round his farm even in the pitch 
blackness of the night. 

So how long would they be waiting for Max to turn up? It was almost time
for his passing. From where Jack was he could see only a few metres of 
the path Max would be walking on, but a long way to the other side of 
him, the main part of the Green. Since they got there they had agreed 
not to talk at all, but to give two quick taps on the shoulder when 
they were to go for Max, should he turn up. 

A sound entered Jacks ears, the familiar soft, distant sound of grass
being crushed underfoot as someone moved across the field. He heard a 
cough. Definitely Max's cough. He could hardly handle the adrenaline he 
was experiencing at this point. Any moment Max would come into his 
vision. And then he'd get the biggest surprise of his life. Just as he 
popped into view, the corner of his eye caught an old couple walking in 
the opposite direction to Max. Damn! They would have to wait until they 
went out of hearing — or at least sight. Never mind, Jack told himself, 
just a minor time-wasting obstacle. When the couple had passed them and 
were about 10 metres from where they were hiding, Jack stood up and 
started walking quickly but quietly after Max. Dave followed on behind. 
He soon came into sight. Jack decided the people who they'd waited for 
were far enough away, and he tapped Dave on the shoulder and they 
sprinted. When they were just over a car's length short of Max, he 
turned around. Two eggs met him in the face, one between his eyes, and 
another on his chin, accurately thrown by Jack. Most civilians in the 
village of Paramo, and possibly the neighbouring villages probably 
heard Max's scream, and he burst into tears. While it was deeply 
satisfying to hear it, Jack knew it meant they only had a few seconds 
to finish the attack and RUN! 

Max had started to walk backwards very quickly indeed, and was about to
turn around and run but Jack had got right up to him and he pushed him 
backwards with all his might. Max seemed to float through the air, 
before crashing awkwardly onto the pavement. He shouted, “Leave me 
alone, what the fuck do you want?” Both black attackers had great 
trouble not bursting out with laughter, but they refrained from doing 
so. Dave unloaded his two eggs at Max's chest as he got back onto his 
feet. Jack immediately gave the now petrified Max a sharp punch to the 
lower chest and pushed him backwards over Dave's leg, which he stuck 
out for that purpose. Over Max went, struggling for breath. He looked 
really terrified. Shit, he hadn't meant to really hurt him; what had 
possessed him to wind him like that? He wasn't a nasty-natured person, 
certainly he wasn't known for stooping to violence to satisfy his 
feelings. “I must be crazy,” he thought. But then, the feelings he had 
been going through recently... Oh well, he deserved what he got, as 
long as he lives! 

Dave tapped Jack on the shoulder and pointed to a house on the opposite
side of the road. The door had opened and an old woman was looking out 
at the scene. Max managed to get up and managed to stumble slowly away, 
back where he came from, while Dave and Jack started their mad sprint 
to safety. Turning into the park Jack was just in front, and they 
nearly ran straight into Colette and Martin, who were presumably going 
to see what the screaming and shouting was about. As they flew by 
Martin, Colette's boyfriend, said in his easily recognisable townie 
accent, “Oh man, dodgy friggin' guys...” and Jack nearly stumbled with 
a burst of laughter. 

They heard no more, as they disappeared into the darkness of the
football pitches. 

They didn't slow down until they were on the main track back to Jack's
house, where they removed their balaclavas with a sigh of relief. “That 
was...unreal!” exclaimed Jack. 

“Yeah, I'm just grateful I didn't make contact with Martin!” 

When they had changed into their usual clothes, Dave left Jack's house
and walked to the park, making sure no one was about and might see him. 
He wanted anyone who he might see later to think he'd just come from 
his house. Jack would follow later. 

When Dave arrived at the park Martin and Colette were still there,
talking in the children's play area, and he also saw Claire and Sarah, 
just outside, standing next to Martin's car. As Dave came close the two 
girls said hi, and he replied as he always does, “Alright, how's it 
going?” 

Sarah said, “Well, great for Claire, she's got herself a boyfriend!” 

For a few seconds Dave thought nothing of this remark. Then suddenly it
hit him; someone was going to be very upset or very happy; of course, 
he was thinking about Jack. But it couldn't be Jack, could it? He'd 
have told him about it surely? Nothing could have happened from the 
time it had taken him to walk from his house to the park? 

“Oh, really?” He realised how cheesy that must have sounded. 

Claire, grinning widely, replied, “Yeah, I'm going out with Stephen.” 

“Stephen?” Dave was genuinely surprised. He didn't know Stephen very
well, but he knew he didn't come out of his house very often and he 
wasn't the most social person around. He thought of Jack again, and 
realised that he'd arrive at the park at any moment. He didn't want him 
to find out here, in front of everyone. All he needed was an excuse to 
go home and stop at Jack's house first. 

He looked at his watch and said, “Oh, I've got to go in now, got
homework to do. I left my coat at Jack's and I'll have to get that 
first. See you later.” 

“Wait a minute, Colette said she heard someone screaming and shouting
just round the corner, maybe half an hour ago. Did you here it?” asked 
Sarah. 

“No, I was at my house having my tea,” replied Dave, with a little smile
on his face. 

With that he started walking quickly back towards Jack's house. He met
him walking up his drive. After his customary “Alright, how's it 
going?” he said, “Hey Jack, I've got something you probably should 
know.” 

“What, the Police have arrived?” he replied with a grin that could have
represented the world. 

“No, seriously, I've just come back from the park to tell you. You still
fancy Claire, right?” 

“Well, er...” answered Jack with no expression at all. 

“Well, it turned out she's going out with Stephen. I thought I should
tell you here rather than Sarah shouting it into your face.” 

“Ah, I thought so,” replied Jack mysteriously. 

“What, you know already?” 

“Well, I suppose I might as well tell you that Claire and I were talking
all night last night and she told me she was in love with someone, but 
he's ‘too good for me.' Anyway, I guessed who it was and she admitted 
it, and I stupidly told her that he would definitely go out with her if 
she asked him out.” 

Dave cut in at this point. “Hey, wait a moment, how did you guess and
how did you know he would go out with her?” 

“Ah, well, the other night when I was with her and James, and one or two
others, it didn't take much working out! She made it obvious to me. She 
asked just the same question last night, and she can hardly believe it. 
But anyway, I knew Stephen would go out with her because — and I don't 
mean this in a nasty way — he's the sort of person who would go out 
with any girl who he liked and was reasonably well respected by his 
friends. You know what I mean?” 

Dave looked at him thoughtfully, and completely ignoring his question,
said, “You don't sound or look too upset. Are you never going to talk 
to Stephen again?” 

“Don't be daft. Things are going to remain the same. There's no reason
to fall out. A little jealousy is unavoidable but that's it. Only 
problem is, I simply can't stand to see her with another boy, if you 
get me. It makes me feel ill. Were you not surprised when I thumped 
Max? I just had to let some frustration out. I feel awful, letting it 
out on someone else. Hey, he deserved a little shock I suppose. Anyway, 
I'm going in to do some homework, then to bed.” 

Dave could tell by his voice that deep inside Jack was upset, and not
first time over Claire. He'd managed to cheer him up before — a great 
talent of his — but this time he knew he wasn't going to succeed. He 
said to him, “Don't brood over it too much, it's not worth it. Just 
think about our stunt tonight and smile!” 

Jack turned briefly and offered a nod and a grin, which told him he'd
forgotten all about it. Jack wished he could tell Dave how much he 
appreciated his friendship. 

Was it the end of the world for Jack? It seemed like it. For nearly a
year he had loved Claire, and she had always said that she is flattered 
but not ready for a relationship. She'd even said, in exact words 
written in a text message, “Come back to me in a year or so.” He 
remembered other phrases like, “I love your personality, if I was 
looking for someone I'd go for the likes of you.” What she meant but 
wouldn't say, was: ‘you're a nice guy but I just don't fancy you.' 

Jack knew quite well that a relationship doesn't work unless both male
and female fancy each other in a sexual way as well as their mind. 
Problems occur when one or the other realises that their personality 
doesn't match their looks. He couldn't ask out someone who didn't want 
to go out with him. 

“Am I being selfish thinking this way?” was another thought. He wished
he could just forget about love and be a good friend to her instead. 
“She's probably going to be very happy, but for how long? I need to be 
happy for her, but I know what Stephen is really like; he'll hold onto 
her for as long as possible, playing the sensitive, innocent lad, until 
he could get any further. Then he'll be after someone else, and how 
will Claire feel then?” These thoughts plagued him. He didn't like 
judging people, but he unfortunately was very good at it, and he knew 
it. He could just tell what people were like after knowing them for a 
relatively short time. He didn't know whether to regard it as a talent 
or anything else. An “evil gift” was how he'd described it to Dave. Of 
course, he couldn't tell Claire what he saw when he looked at Stephen. 

Last night Claire had said to Jack about Stephen, “He's so nice to me,”
which is another thing she asked Jack before: “Why are you so nice to 
me?” In the cold light of this new knowledge, he had realised that all 
those reassurances had been a bag of shit to make him feel better. He 
didn't feel very good about it now. 

Next day he cheered up tremendously when Max failed to turn up at
school. He was half disappointed and a little anxious; he hoped Max 
hadn't involved the police. Thinking about it, it was a likely 
possibility. His parents wouldn't take it lightly at all. He wished now 
he hadn't winded him. But at the time he couldn't help himself. Love 
was his own worst enemy. It was also likely that Max would not have 
told anyone he was winded to save himself some embarrassment, so his 
parents wouldn't have thought it was so serious, and anyway, perhaps 
they realised it was just a silly prank. That night after school he 
phoned Dave to inform him about his absence from school. He suggested 
going round to his house to see him, but Jack dismissed the idea. 

“No, we hardly ever call on him; he'd suspect something if we went round
there grinning our faces off!” 

They both had homework to do so they said they'd meet later. Jack
decided to go to the park after he'd finished, and there he saw 
Stephen's bother, Kevin, who had evidently just got there, talking to 
Dave. When he saw him approaching his face lit up and he said, “Have 
you heard what happened to Max?” 

“No, what?” replied Jack, trying to sound innocent and interested.
Evidently he had already told Dave. “Is it anything to do with not 
being at school today?” 

“Yeah. I called on him today to give him a CD he lent me and his dad
told me that he'd been attacked by a couple of drunk men. He's had some 
eggs thrown at him and he was knocked over!” 

“You're kidding?” asked Jack, not at all confident with his acting. “Is
he okay?” 

“He's just shocked. Shady isn't it? That must have been the scream we
heard the other night at the park. I didn't say that though because 
he'd probably think I was taking the piss out of him.” 

Secretly Jack was thinking, “He's going to get a lot of stick when word
gets round! He'll never hear the end of it! Two drunken MEN! We must be 
strong. Brilliant!” 

“Oh, so you saw him too, did you?” asked Jack? 

“Yeah, he told me that they were hard as rock, but after he got up he
managed to push between them and run away. I wonder what would have 
happened if he hadn't got away?” 

At this point Jack realised why Dave hadn't contributed to the
conversation. He was biting his lip and kept covering his mouth to 
smother his laughing. His eyes were watering with the strain. He too, 
was starting to feel the pressure. It was also then that he saw Claire 
and Stephen coming back from the top of the playing field, with their 
arms round each other. He felt a stab of nausea and overwhelming grief 
hit him hard. He looked away, desperately thinking of an excuse to 
leave the park. He couldn't think of one. He felt his world collapse in 
on top of him. 


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