The Fence Post (standard:humor, 1217 words)
Author: Chuck	Added: Oct 08 2002	Views/Reads: 3843/2230	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
A story about a man with a very vivid imagination that believes himself to be much better at Karate than he is.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

had only traveled three feet.  Ten minus three, that left five or six 
feet to go. Sweat breaking  out on my forehead was quickly absorbed by 
my home made bandanna......... 

Where was bruce Lee when I needed him?  I opened my lips, for a sign of
his presence and power bar drool ran down my chin.  I looked over at my 
car.  That was not Jean Claude, but three young punks systematically 
stripping my car......... 

Trying to concentrate.....  I wish that I'd worn shoes......  The barbed
wire would cut my feet and I could not bear for my feet to be cut.  My 
feet were very important to me and very sensitive.......  At the last 
second, as I dropped form my arc, I spread my legs, to spare my 
feet.........The wire caught me in the most precious of places.  I did 
not even think of my martial arts friends.  I only wanted my mommy.  
Tears began streaming down my cheeks.  It hurt down there and I knew I 
was about to suffer more dreadful pain.  I popped a pain pill in my 
mouth.  The wire was stretched extra tight and someone had obviously 
sharpened each of the little points.  I grimaced and noticed the three 
punks that were stripping my car had stopped to watch me.  I waved 
casually, as if nothing was wrong and yelled "it sure is a pretty day" 
as the wire catapulted me back up into the air.  Leaning now and off 
center, I dropped onto the wire, scraping and tearing chunks of flesh 
from my inner thighs as I spun, head first to the ground.  My head 
slammed into the dirt with a thud........ 

I was torn, ragged and bleeding in the most precious of
places............ 

A heard of cows approached cautiously, looking at me inquisitively.  I
looked over at them and said, "don't try to escape, It's just not worth 
it".  I glanced over at my car.  It looked odd, with no tires......... 

Another day, I would come back, perhaps after I had earned my yellow
belt.  I was no quitter.  The fence would not beat me.  I had come 
close......... 

I wiped some cow patty from the side of my head, careful of the fist
sized know that had formed........I would come back stronger.......  A 
yellow belt..........  The color of your belt could make all the 
difference in the world..........  I  can count to ten in 
Korean........  I can almost do a "girls" pushup on my knuckles   
.......  Well, almost.  I can go down, but I can't quite get back 
up........  I can clap my hands in between pushups, if a couple of my 
friends grab me and hold me up........ I love to flex while looking at 
myself in the mirror.......Actually, I love to flex, no matter who's 
looking in the mirror. 


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