Through Eyes of Love (standard:romance, 4930 words)
Author: Ladybug	Added: Sep 16 2002	Views/Reads: 3911/2438	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Carina Lauer, a star overnight suddenly has to deal with the physical and emotional realities of becoming visually impaired in both her eyes due to an accident while dancing. Her love interest, John, realizes he cannot handle the responsibility.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

ever since she moved out to LA.  He picked up a portrait of the two of 
them together and sighs wondering if he has lost her forever.  Just 
then he receives a call on his cell phone, "Hello?"  His face lights 
up.  "Carina!  How are you babe? I miss you so much!"  He listened as 
she quickly apologized for being so busy, but that a day hadn't gone by 
when she didn't think of him.  She then told him she had rehearsal, but 
could he come up to see her for the weekend.  "Sure!"  He grinned.  
"Great hon, I'll see you in a few days!" 

Two days later, Carina was rehearsing some new moves on stage.  She was
scheduled to tape a couple of numbers for a show airing in three 
months.  JT was backstage talking with the sound crew.  "Okay Carina, 
let's take it from the top!"  A voice from the back of the auditorium 
called. 

The music was loud and pulsating; the lights flickered as Carina began
her song.  There was a loud "boom" as theatrical smoke was released 
onstage.  She wanted to try it during rehearsal to see the how the 
special effects would look.  Carina moved gracefully across the stage 
forgetting there was a chord near the edge.  Her heel caught on the 
wire causing her to twist her ankle and fall.  She landed on her back, 
her neck hitting the edge of the stage.  She blacked out immediately.  
Although JT didn't see her fall, he knew something was wrong when she 
did not emerge from the cloud of smoke.  "Carina!" he screamed as he 
rushed to her side. 

Chapter 5 

John quickly packed, getting ready for his weekend trip.  He had turned
the news channel on, wanting to hear the latest sports update.  The 
following story caught his attention... 

"In the music industry, there still isn't any word on the welfare of
newly famed singer/dancer, Carina Lauer.  A superstar practically 
overnight, but will her stardom slip away due to an unforeseen 
accident?  The singer/dancer was rehearsing onstage with all the 
special effects prior to a performance she was about to record when she 
took a nasty fall. Paramedics arrived at the scene and rushed her to LA 
Medical Center where she is undergoing tests.  Her manager, JT Roletti 
claims she should be on the road to recovery very soon and does not 
anticipate any major problems." 

John quickly called the medical center, and spent a half hour on hold. 
Finally he found one of Carina's business cards with JT's phone number 
on the back.  Naturally he got his answering machine.  John hung up the 
phone without leaving a message and decided he needed to be by her 
side. 

"What do you mean there are complications?" John asked angrily.  He had
spent the last several hours on the plane and now that he was at the 
hospital, he had yet to see Carina. 

"The blow on the head, when she fell, caused major damage to the sight
center of her brain,"  the attending physician explained.  John held 
his breath as he couldn't believe what he was hearing.  "What are you 
saying? Is she blind?" he shouted.  The doctor spoke softly, "We are 
still running tests, but at this point she is visually impaired, in 
both eyes." 

John shook his head in disbelief, "I want to see her!" he demanded.  The
doctor nodded to the nurse giving his approval.  John followed the 
nurse down the hall and stopped where Carina was lying on a cot.   
"Just a few minutes, ok?" she whispered.  John nodded as he walked 
inside the emergency room.  She was lying there, white bandages were 
wrapped around her head and over both eyes.  She was hooked up to an IV 
and a monitor.  "John?" she asked as she sensed someone's presence.  He 
swallowed a lump in his throat.  "Yeah babe, how did you guess?" She 
managed a slight grin, "Your after shave is the strongest stuff on the 
market.  If you ever changed it, I would have no clue!" 

That brought a smile to his face.  Sweet Carina, always cheerful,
looking for the rainbow after every rain shower.  "You had me worried," 
he spoke softly as he took her hand in his.  "I'm scared!" she managed 
to say as she began to sob. 

"You will be back on your feet in no time.  Just a slight delay, things
can be rescheduled."  He leaned over and kissed her lightly on the 
lips.  "John, I can't see," she blurted out.  He squeezed her hand in a 
warm gesture, "it's only temporary, you'll see!"  She felt a chill run 
down her body.  "Hold me!" she begged.  John knelt by her side and 
wrapped his arms around her, allowing her the opportunity to lean on 
him for strength. 

Chapter 6 

One month later, Carina's sight still had not returned.  Her doctor had
offered surgery as a possible means to recover some sight.  "I cannot 
promise anything Carina," he sadly admitted.  "Only a chance." 

Carina had spoken to John earlier who had strongly encouraged her to
have the surgery.  Meanwhile, her manager JT was doing everything he 
could to appease the public.  He had to hold off all her prior 
engagements until further notice.  Earlier, after the tests showed no 
hope of improvement, he had respectfully given a statement explaining 
what had happened.  Her fans showered her with cards, and gifts 
promising  to keep her in their prayers and hoping for a miracle. 

Maxine had visited several times a week along with JT and John.  She sat
in a chair next to Carina's bedside as she contemplated surgery.  
"Carina, God isn't finished with you yet.  You have a lovely voice and 
alot of talent."  Maxine spoke reassuring her.  Carina sighed, 
"sometimes I feel God has given up on me," she answered a bit roughly.  
Maxine reached over and hugged her best friend.  "You sound like a 
woman angry at yourself and trying to put the blame on God." 

Carina laughed and cried at the same time, "maybe I am; I just want to
know what to do!"  Maxine leaned back and took Carina's hands in hers 
and prayed for God's direction in her life.  Carina ended the prayer 
with asking God to forgive her for not serving Him and asked for wisdom 
in knowing what to do next. 

Chapter 7 

A week later Carina's surgeon, Leonard Scott closed the door and dimmed
the light in his office in preparation of removing the bandages.  "How 
are you feeling today, Carina?" he asked.  "I'm really nervous!" Carina 
admitted.  He smiled, "That's perfectly understandable.  We will just 
take this easy, okay?  One step at a time." 

He gently removed the bandages and the gauze pads from each eye.  "Just
take your time, and tell me what you see." 

"Everything is black, I can't see anything!" Carina sadly reported. 
"Nothing at all, Carina? Any light passing through?" he asked. 

She closed her eyes and covered them with her hands, "My eyes hurt...." 

He helped her to lie down on the cot in his office, "Just relax your
eyes, okay? I'll be back shortly to check on you." 

Chapter 8 

A week later, Carina was back home, and together with Maxine and JT's
help, had become familiar with her surroundings.  She was worried about 
John since she didn't see or hear from him after the surgery.  Just 
then the phone rang, "Hello?" she answered, remembering the phone was 
on a table next to the couch she sat on.  She used the mental picture 
of a clock and knew from where she sat on the far left side of the 
sofa, the phone was in the 9:00 pm position. 

"Hello?" she repeated a bit louder.  "Carina?" a soft familiar voice
uttered.  "John! Where have you been? I've been so worried about you!" 

"Can I come over? Is this a good time?" he asked a little cautious. 
Carina could sense something was wrong.  "Yes, please I'll leave the 
front door unlocked." 

Twenty minutes later she heard a knock on the door.  "Come in John!" she
smiled in relief as she once again smelled the familiar strong scent of 
his after shave lotion.  John paced himself as he slowly made his way 
into her house and closed the door.  Several moments passed in deadly 
silence as John stared at Carina.  She sat on the end of the couch 
dressed in a red silk blouse and denim jeans.  Her hair was neatly 
pulled back with a bright red  scarf and she wore a pair of sunglasses 
over her eyes.  Leaning against the couch on her right side was a white 
cane.  He swallowed a lump in his throat as he tried to get his 
thoughts together. 

"John? What's wrong? Please tell me!" her voice sounded desperate. 

"I..I can't do this," he murmured.  "What? Can't do what?" she asked,
her voice escalating.  Then she hesitated, realizing finally what this 
was all about.  "It's me, isn't it?" she began to cry out loud.  "You 
are ashamed of being seen with me because I'm blind!" she screamed in 
the midst of confusion and resentment. 

"I'm sorry Carina.  I thought things would be different after the
surgery; I thought you would get your sight back," he tried to explain. 


"John!" she begged, "What about our promise? To always be there for each
other? Please try to see past this.." 

He shook his head slowly, "I'm sorry, I just can't handle the
responsibility of being with someone who is blind." 

Carina covered her mouth, then turned her back towards him, "go away!
leave me alone!" 

John sighed as he quietly turned and walked out of the house closing the
door behind him. 

Chapter 9 

Carina was crushed, not only did she lose her eyesight, she lost the
love of her life.  She couldn't believe all of this was happening to 
her.  She had begun learning Braille, but she wasn't in the mood to 
practice.  She decided to listen to the radio and eat a bowl of ice 
cream to help relieve her depression. 

JT glanced at a picture taken of him and Carina just several short weeks
ago when she received an award for 'Best New Female Soloist.'  He felt 
so helpless, he had let her down.  He was there at the time she took 
her fall, but he couldn't get to her in time.  Since he started working 
with Carina, he had grown very fond of her and thought himself as her 
protector which he failed miserably.  He said a prayer asking God to 
work a miracle in her life.  As he turned on the radio, he heard one of 
her latest hits being played.  A thought came to his mind, 'she still 
needs you; she needs your encouragement, your assistance, your love.'  
He raised his head and glanced again at the picture of her smiling back 
at him as the song continued to play. 

"Why did you allow this to happen to me?" she screamed out, angry at
God, at herself, at the whole world.  Raising her cane and swinging it 
with great force, she smashed the radio as her song  played, once heard 
with pride, now with contempt. 

Three weeks later, to Carina each day was the same.  She cried her self
to sleep every night.  Her eyes were watery, although no tears emerged. 
 The days, long and challenging, were spent in misery.  Maxine visited 
several times, brought her groceries, helped her cook, and take care of 
the house.  She was there each time JT tried calling.  "You really 
should speak to JT," Maxine suggested as she washed Carina's hair and 
dried it with a fluffy towel. 

"I don't want to speak to any men!" Carina replied harshly.  Maxine
massaged her scalp, "I know you are upset at John; that was really 
immature and stupid of him to walk out on you like that.  Carina bit 
her lower lip as she was tired of wasting any more valuable energy on 
him. 

"We need to speak to JT.  Together we can come up with a plan to get you
back onstage."  Carina shook her head, "Are you crazy? I'm blind! My 
career is over!"  Maxine took a brush and began to fix her hair.  "I 
disagree Carina, you still have your voice, your legs still work, what 
seems to be the problem?" 

Carina jerked her head away from her friend, "Are you listening to me? I
cannot see the stage, so what if I fall again?  Maybe I should..maybe 
next time I won't survive." 

Maxine put both hands on Carina's shoulders, "Carina, I understand
completely how angry and resentful you feel.  This wasn't fair, but you 
are not the type of person to give up!  You haven't lost the fight.  
Yes, you've been knocked down, but you have the power to get up!" 

Carina weeped softly, "I don't believe I can." 

"Carina, with God, anything is possible." 

Carina sat still soaking everything in.  It's true, she did miss
performing, only this time she wanted to do things differently.  
"Maxine, if I do this, I want to do Contemporary Gospel.  Maybe even 
get a back up live band!" 

Maxine smiled, "That's my girl." 

Chapter 10 

The next day a knock came at the door.  "Just a minute!" Carina called
as she grabbed her cane and slowly made her way to the front of the 
room.  She opened the door and there stood JT holding a dozen red roses 
and a five pound of chocolates.  "Hi!" he smiled at her.  "No one was 
returning my calls, so I decided to take a chance someone would be 
home." 

"I'm sorry, please come in,"  Carina had recognized his voice at once. 

JT slowly followed Carina inside and knelt down by her side as she sat
on the couch.  "It's okay.  I brought you a couple of surprises.  I 
remembered you have a great scent of smell, I thought we could work on 
your other senses."  He carefully pulled one rose from the bundle and 
lightly brushed it's petals against her skin.  Carina drew in a deep 
breath as she matched the scent of the rose with its soft texture. 

"What color are they?" she spoke in a whisper, well aware the rest of
her senses were alert and feeling exhilarated.  "They are a deep red, 
same color as your lips," he spoke in a deep tone, one she had never 
realized before, manly and very sensual.  His warm breath whisked 
across her skin, tickling the sides of her cheek. 

"I have something else for you," he grinned as he opened the box of
candy.  "What is it?" she inquired. 

"You expect me to tell you?" he teased.  "Where's the fun in that?"  He
carefully picked up a cherry bon bon and lifted it under her nose.  
"Mmm, chocolate!" she smiled, proud of her accomplishment. 

"Yes, it's chocolate, now tell me what kind," he added as he slowly
brought the edible delight to her lips.  Carina parted her lips 
slightly as she took a small bite of the candy.  The fruity cherry 
flavor burst with sweet liquid inside her mouth giving her taste buds a 
pleasant treat. 

JT studied her facial expressions as their sensory lesson took an erotic
twist.  He watched the muscles in her cheeks as they worked, tensed, 
then relaxed in the process.  He saw she had a tiny bit of chocolate on 
the corner of her mouth.  Gently he took his finger and wiped the smear 
clean. 

She blushed slightly realizing the intimacy of the moment.  She decided
to change the subject matter,  "JT, Maxine thinks I have a chance to 
perform again.  What do you think?" 

"I agree Carina, you have an incredible talent that shouldn't be hidden
away." 

Carina sighed, "Will you help me?" 

JT took her hand in his, "Yes, I will help anyway I can." 

She smiled shyly, "I want to sing gospel music from now on.  There's no
way I'm going to do this without God's strength." 

JT leaned forward and kissed her softly on the cheek, "You do the
performing, and I will take care of the details." 

Chapter 11 

The weeks ahead were very strenuous and difficult.  In between
rehearsals, and therapy, Carina would go back to the doctor's office 
for more laser surgery.  She had one every other week.  Each one 
resulting the same, each time the doctor removed her bandages all she 
would see was black; her eyes hurting afterwards. 

Carina tried not to dwell on the negative, but on the positive.  She had
successfully recorded a new CD with contemporary gospel music.  That 
was the easy part, the challenge was the live performances. 

"Let's wait a little longer before we do something live, okay?" she
pleaded.  JT slipped his arm around her waist, "Carina, talk to me, is 
something bothering you?" 

She took a deep breath then tried to explain, "I don't think I'm ready
to be onstage in front of a live audience." 

JT listened patiently while trying to read between the lines, "I know
it's scary, but we have taken every precaution.  You know how many 
steps there are to the edge of the stage; I have made certain no plugs 
or chords are anywhere in your path."  He could feel her body tense 
inside the crook of his arm.  "Stay here," he whispered as he moved 
away from her long enough to pick up the cordless microphone, then 
handed it to her.  "Focus on the music, sing from your heart," he 
encouraged. 

Carina nodded slightly as she gripped the microphone in her right hand,
she felt her posture stiffen as if it was frozen in place.  JT nodded 
to the man in the sound booth who started the music.  From that moment, 
her body relaxed as she tuned her mind and spirit to the song of 
praise.  JT smiled proudly as he listened to her sing, her voice was 
angelic! 

She smiled sweetly after the song waiting for his reaction.  "It was
fantastic! I believe you are ready;  however, if you want to wait just 
a little longer, we could postpone for a week?" he offered. 

Carina laid her head on his shoulder, "No, that's okay, we will do the
show next Saturday as scheduled." 

Chapter 12 

"Carina, it's a packed house, remember the steps we went over this
afternoon at rehearsal," JT instructed her.  He took a few paces behind 
her and placed his hands on her shoulders massaging the tension in her 
muscles.  "You are a miracle Carina, I'm so proud of you!" he leaned 
over and gently kissed her on the cheek. 

Carina took several deep breaths as she heard the chatter and muffled
screams from the audience.  She heard the drum roll and her name over 
the sound system in an introduction.  "This is it!" JT hugged her, "Go 
get them kid!" 

Carina's heart sunk momentarily as she heard the familiar pet name John
used to call her.  For a moment she couldn't move; her feet were frozen 
in place.  JT tried getting her attention, but her back was towards 
him.  The announcer repeated her name, "Please God, I'm doing this for 
you, please help me!" she prayed earnestly.  JT nodded to the members 
of her band to begin playing.  Carina heard the familiar upbeat song of 
praise, "Tell the Good News" begin to play.  She took that first step 
of faith and bounced on stage smiling and waving to the audience, "We 
have a story to share, tell the good news!" she bellowed out which 
created an enthusiastic response from the audience.  From that moment, 
she poured her heart out, while remembering the distance she allowed 
herself from the edge of the stage.  The fans were ecstatic, they knew 
she was visually impaired and of her struggle to recover.  The love and 
support she received from them overwhelmed Carina. 

Chapter 13 

Several weeks went by, in between television appearances and recording a
new CD, Carina continued her bi-weekly laser surgeries.  She and Maxine 
were waiting for the doctor to once again remove the bandages.  
"Carina, I've been meaning to ask you about your personal relationship 
with JT." 

Carina grinned, "we are friends."  Maxine peered at her cautiously,
"I've seen the way he looks at you." 

Carina tilted her head a bit interested, "Oh? How does he look at me?" 

"Like a man in love, believe me Carina, he is very fond of you," she
smiled.  Just then the door opened and her doctor walked in.  "Time for 
the unveiling Carina, are you ready?" he asked pulling a stool close by 
so he was facing her.  "Sure," she replied politely although not with 
any unrealistic expectations. 

As he removed the gauze pads from her eyes, she noticed something was
different.  "I see light!" she cried.  Both the doctor and Maxine 
exchanged hopeful smiles.  "Good, in one or both eyes?" 

"Both eyes, about an inch of light!" Carina exclaimed.  The doctor
smiled, "Excellent Carina, that's a good sign.  I'd like for you to lie 
down a while and rest so we can chart the progress." 

Carina nodded as he led her to the couch.  A little over a half hour
past and she claimed she was able to see objects.  "That's wonderful, 
Carina, how do you see these objects, can you describe them?" he asked 
as he peered into each pupil. 

"Well, they are shades of black and white, no color yet, and fuzzy.  I
can't make out exactly what they are," she reported. 

"Excellent!  Now, what I'd like for you to do is allow me to place the
bandages back over your eyes before you head back home.  Once you are 
inside your home you may remove the bandages; we don't want too much 
sunlight yet until we see how your eyes will react to the surgery.  
Call me and keep me posted on any changes, okay?" he wrote his cell 
number on the back of his card. 

Chapter 14 

Maxine decided to spend the night with Carina.  Little by little, her
sight came back, color came gradually and within twelve hours, her 
vision was back completely.  They kept the doctor posted throughout the 
night and he explained that the reason this time was successful was 
that the laser hit an optic nerve. 

Carina actually cried real tears that day as she hugged Maxine and they
thanked God for her miraculous healing.  "You have to tell JT!"  Maxine 
grinned. 

Carina quietly nodded but appeared a little distant.  "Carina? What's
wrong?" she asked.  "Both you and JT have been a tremendous source of 
encouragement and support for me during this past year," she began. 

"But?" Maxine interrupted, wondering what on earth could possibly be
wrong.  Carina tried to continue, "now that I'm cured, which I'm 
grateful for, but..." 

"But what?" Maxine urged.  Carina sighed, "now that I'm no longer
visually impaired, I'm afraid JT will disappear out of my life.  He is 
a busy man and has supported me faithfully, but he may not see any need 
now...I'm afraid I'm going to lose him." 

Chapter 15 

JT pulled his silver Mercedes into the parking lot of the "Oriental Rose
Restaurant." "I'm meeting someone, the reservations are in the name of 
Roletti."  The Maitre'D, dressed in a black tux smiled as he led JT to 
a small table in the front for two.  Carina was already seated wearing 
a black sequenced gown, spaghetti straps, and a curved neckline.  She 
had her hair in an upsweep which made her look very elegant.  She wore 
sunglasses only because she wanted to work up her nerve to tell him the 
good news. 

"Carina, you are beautiful!" he smiled.  She blushed at his sincere
compliment while admiring the way he looked too.  He was dressed in a 
dark blue suit, white pressed shirt, a solid red necktie.  "JT," she 
started to say in a whisper.  "I wanted to thank you for all your 
support during...." 

He placed his finger softly across her lips.  The touch of his finger
made her gasp.  "It was my pleasure," he smiled leaning across the 
table. 

The waitor came and took their order which was the chef's choice, 'sweet
and sour chicken, fried rice, oriental stir fried vegetables, and egg 
drop soup.' 

"JT, there is something I have to tell you," she started, even though
her heart was beating so loudly it drowned out the sound of her own 
voice.  "Two days ago I had another surgery," she paused trying to read 
the expression on his face which was something she had to get 
re-familiar with.  He misread her anxiousness for a sign of 
hopelessness.  "Carina, I'm sorry," he began taking her hand in his.  
The touch from his hand sent a chill up her arm.  She slowly lowered 
her sunglasses.  "No, it worked! I can see!" she smiled. 

His eyes lit up as he pushed himself away from his chair and rushed to
her side giving her a big bear hug.  "Carina!! Thank God, I'm so 
excited for you!"  She felt tears begin to well in her eyes.  "Thank 
you JT, I will never forget you and hope you will keep in touch!" 

He took a step back and stared at her, for the first time since the
accident each of them gazing into each other's eyes.  "What are you 
saying?" he asked puzzled. 

"I understand if you need to move on JT, now that I'm not blind, I don't
need any help..." she tried to explain. 

He knelt in front of her, oblivious to the many pairs of eyes observing
them.  "Carina, don't think I will abandon you now after all we've been 
through."  He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers then deepened 
the kiss.  "I love you!" he whispered as he hugged her once more. 

THE END 


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