The Logistics of Suicide (standard:drama, 1091 words)
Author: Sare	Added: Dec 30 2001	Views/Reads: 3618/2400	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Otherwise entitled, "Why I've Decided Not to Do It".

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

You are simply who you are.  Perhaps you are a good or great writer,
perhaps you are simply a little girl with a pencil and an imagination.  
You wear sunscreen all year round to maintain your Snow White look.  
You like broccoli and tomato on your pizza and you love Pepsi, hot 
chocolate, apple juice, not together.  You collect angels, watch “Sex 
and the City”, read Cosmo.  You know all these things about yourself 
and yet still see a stranger when you look in the mirror.  What’s 
scarier is that you see a stranger when you close your eyes. 

I know you, oh nameless and faceless woman.  I’ve watched you write,
watched you weep, watch you stand on the curb and debate whether or not 
you should step out in front of the bus rather than getting on it.  
I’ve seen you struggle between calling this cowardice and strength, 
watched you wince as well-meaning friends and strangers commend you for 
your courage and perseverance.  I was listening when you said you’d be 
ok; I think, though, that of the two of us I was the only one who 
believed you.  I know when you’re fooling and when you’re telling the 
truth; when you’re lying and when you’re not.  I know when you’re 
smiling to cover your tears, and I know when you want so badly to weep 
yet cannot find the tears.  I’ve watched your shoulders heave on silent 
sobs, heard your breath catch on desperate whimpers.  I’ve tasted the 
salty tracks of tears.  I was there.  I am here.  Listen to me.  Be 
well. 

***** 

For Sean, for Sophie, for Noah, and for John... with thoughts of love
and smiles, hugs and tears. Thank you.


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