Revenge (standard:humor, 2331 words)
Author: Melazar	Added: Nov 27 2001	Views/Reads: 3667/2498	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
You plan and plan and plan, and it all comes down to a single roll of the dice!

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

accompanied by a laugh!  You know the kind, the one that the crazy 
dudes on the horror shows do just as they stick the knife in your 
throat and twist, and twist, and twist, and...well you get the idea. 

Bobby Lee looked around for confidence at the others whom he was sure
would lend moral support in his time of need from their common enemy, 
only to find the entire group with the same laughing grins!  This was a 
nightmare! 

“Gotcha!” Randy exclaimed with a fist pulling motion, you know, the one
you see when a golfer sinks the hundred-foot putt, or when you set 
someone up and everything goes as planned without the geek, Bobby Lee, 
catching on till the trap is sprung.  What am I telling you for, you 
probably knew about it too! 

“You’re all in on it?” Bobby lee gasped in disbelief as he dropped the
dice again.  Better get those hands checked out. 

“Of course!” explained the master as he opened THE CASE, oh, for those
who don’t know, yeah right, like some of you weren’t in on it!  Anyway, 
that’s where THE DICE are kept.  The ones for special occasions like 
this.  Usually Randy only opens the case for conventions where he 
battles the best of the best!  They roll sixes.  That’s it, just sixes, 
KILLS ONLY!  In fact that’s what it says on the case, ‘KILLS ONLY’. 

Now for a split second, well, maybe less, but just the same, there was a
moment, small though it was that Bobby Lee was proud THE DICE were 
about to be used on him, it meant he was of the caliber worthy of THE 
DICE!  But that was short-lived cause Randy said it was punishment for 
planning against him! 

Well of course Bobby Lee denied it all!  Even yelled forgery as Randy
produced the thought to be destroyed battle plan with ‘Kill Randy’, 
‘Kick the Master’s Ass’, ‘Crush him into the table’, and about twenty 
other doodles doodled onto the borders! 

Bobby Lee’s mind was racing, trying to figure how Randy had gotten the
supposedly destroyed plan, but he was losing the race to laughter! 

Bobby Lee took a deep breath to settle himself, too deep in fact, it
only seemed to cause a fit of coughing, but that subsided quickly, to 
be replaced with a look of utter determination.  You would have been 
proud except you were probably in on it, so fuck you too!  I was proud 
of him! 

He crossed his arms and returned his attention to the playing field.  A
quick survey showed it was six to Randy’s two, and one of them just a 
punk orc. 

Rational thinking returned as he ignored all about him.  All he needed
to do was get two hits out of the next six rolls, and his marines were 
all heavily armed.  It could still be done! 

Randy confidently motioned for Bobby Lee to roll for initiative. A tie! 

Momentarily disappointed, Bobby Lee calmed down thinking that only meant
the battle would be over quicker, and with him the winner! 

First roll, a six!  He’d killed the punker! 

Now Randy rolled to see what the punker did before it died, a six!  THE
DICE were still working.  DAMN! 

That’s okay, Bobby Lee thought, five to one!  Hell who could ask for
better odds!  Shit, who am I kidding; anybody would against BAD FANG 
and his custom-built, targeted-marine killing, twin barreled plasma 
rifle/grenade launcher! 

The odds raced through Bobby Lee’s head too, only he saw it differently,
what were the odds he would throw five sets of ones in a row?  Right?  
A gazillion to one!  Bobby Lee came up with the same odds, he’d won!  
It was only a formality to roll the dice and accept the accolades and 
praise of his peers, slimey as they seemed at this moment laughing, oh 
yes, they were still laughing!  Bobby Lee hoped they’d split a gut! 

Bobby Lee was so confident he broke with his long-standing tradition of
rolling the dice one at a time, it prolonged the victims agony, and 
rolled all five sets at once!  Hell!  He didn’t even look.  He just 
spread his hands while looking skyward and said, “Wallaa!” 

The cheers grew. Bobby Lee soaked it in like a thirsty plant in the
desert.  This was too much, well, not too much, but he didn’t want to 
miss the look on Randy’s face when he finally lost.  So grinning, and 
it was a big one, he lowered his face to look directly into the 
master’s eyes to see the disbelief and terror, and to say one of his 
favorite lines, actually he had to look this one up to be sure how it 
went, you know the one, ‘Oh, how the mighty have fallen’, yeah, that’s 
the one. 

There it was, just as Bobby Lee had dreamed of, utter disbelief!  Oh,
HAPPY-HAPPY, JOY-JOY, and all that! 

Then it happened!  Just as Bobby Lee was about to regale the throng with
his little quote, he noticed a slow change in Randy’s facial 
expression, it was turning back into a grin, a BIG one!  Like Bobby 
Lee, only different. 

Randy crossed, ever so slowly, his massive arms and nodded to the table
with his equally massive grinning head. 

Bobby Lee’s grin took on a quizzical quality as he ever so slowly
lowered his gaze to the table and the five sets of shiny-new, 
professionally-crafted, you-gotta-get-these, guaranteed 
state-of-the-art, game-winning, matching black and white skulls for 
snake eyes dice. 

Five grinning pairs of skulls!  The nightmare continues!  Bobby Lee
rubbed his eyes till they hurt.  Ten skulls!  Not a two, not a three, 
or anything other than those damned skulls! 

This can’t be happening Bobby Lee thought as he pinched himself! 

“Ouch!” 

No dream.  Who’d a thunk. 

Randy lifted THE DICE.  With one in either hand he threw the first one,
it rolled in slow motion.  Landing with a one! 

Bobby Lee would win!  But then the impossible happened!  It magically,
inexplicably rolled again down the little slope, Bobby Lee knew this 
should have been played on a flatter surface!  It stopped after two 
more faces, a six! 

“That’s one,” Randy said matter-of-factly. 

Targeter on, he rolled for the next marine, six, and the next, and the
next, until there was only one left! 

Randy did something that confused Bobby Lee, he picked up THE DICE!  He
then made a show of putting them into their velvet lined case and then 
lovingly put them back on the dice altar.  Oh, you didn’t know about 
that did you, or did you, co-conspiritarors and all, well anyway, Randy 
has an altar to the dice gods! 

Personally I never believed in it, but I may convert! 

Then without looking, he reached into his cigar box of cursed dice, as
he put it, for they had been touched by unclean unbelieving hands, and 
threw it on the table without looking, imitating bobby Lee’s earlier  
unsuccessful attempt. 

Bobby Lee knew without looking how it landed, but could not resist
seeing the final blow come, as humiliating as it would be, coming from 
cursed dice. 

Six.... 

What happened after that is a blur, and Bobby Lee to this day cannot
remember exactly what happened.  All he knows is that he awoke from his 
nightmare in his own home, staring at a picture of his long-gone, evil 
sister Shirley Red! 

Was that a cold breeze? 

Anyway, Shirley Red, you know, the evil sister.  Sorry, thought you
might have forgotten. 

Well excuuuusse meee!! 

Where was I?  Oh yeah, Shirley Red, evil sister to sweet innocent Bobby
Lee, long since regulated to the seventh plane of hell or something 
like that.  Who really knows about such things anyway, it’s not like 
there’s a directory you can look up and see where old Uncle Chester the 
Child Molester went.  Hey!  None of that now, every family has one 
hidden off somewhere, even YOU! 

See what your doing now, you’re getting me off’n the subject!  Stop
asking questions until after the story ends, otherwise I’ll never get 
anywhere, and I for one would like to see how this comes out! 

Now I’ve got to start over, let’s see, Bobby Lee loses unjustly to Mad
Randy the Terminator from 40k Hell, then wakes up staring at a picture 
of EVIL sister who now serves cold drinks in h-e-double-toothpicks 
(makes the story longer).  That’s about it, isn’t it?  Yeah?  Okay. 

Bobby Lee gets to shaking now, cause that means he’s thinking of THE
BOOK!  Bobby Lee doesn’t want to think about THE BOOK, that’s probably 
why what happened next happened, he wasn’t thinking! 

I heard that!! 

This was not your everyday normal urge you understand.  This was the
book that sent his sister (see I didn’t say evil) to the deep down 
under, and he’s been afraid ever since to even touch it, for fear it 
might have a price!  And that would spoil his whole day, not to mention 
his whole soul! 

He went looking for THE BOOK! 

Yeah, yeah, I know that was predictable.  Who’s telling this anyway, me
or you?  That’s better. 

Zombie-like, he headed for Shirley Red’s room where it lay, just as he’d
last seen it, after he’d thrown it after watching, well, after he’d 
watched her leave the house, and let’s say it wasn’t through the door 
where she went, it was a good bet she wouldn’t return.  But that’s  
another story. 

Again the blur, the next he knew, he was sitting in the kitchen just
like last time!  And again he was surrounded by crushed Oreo’s and to 
his horror, grinning in front of him was Shirley Red! 

“NaNa.” 

This was not one of Bobby lee’s better days. 

. 


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